I watched the race on my phone while packing my things. The last few laps I watched in the pits. One more lap and Fabio would've won.
Everyone from the Yamaha and Ducati teams gathered around the Parc Fermé. I made my way over there as well, but it was so busy, I stood back a little, congratulating Lin Jarvis, who stood in the back as well.
"Don't you need to be in the front, celebrating with Tom and Fabio?", he asks a little surprised.
"Let him celebrate with his team. You guys worked so hard", I smile. I won't provoke Tom by standing next to him the whole time and I don't want all the attention on me anyway.
One by one, they ride their bikes inside. Fabio is really happy, I can see it by the big smile and the way he hugs Tom and his team.
I suddenly see the VR46 team and Luca standing there as well, realising he got fourth. His best ever. I feel very proud to see four of the six riders I'm responsible for, standing here. Not that I did anything. But I like to see them doing so good.
They are all busy talking to the team and to each other. Telling them what they experienced. I like that the most. To see their eyes lighting up as they tell how tough it was, how many times they almost lost the bike and crashed, the overtaking. They have so much passion for this sport.
Fabio doesn't see me standing there and he doesn't look like he's missing me or searching for me. So I just enjoy it from a far. When the guys go to the podium, I quickly walk up to Luca, congratulating him and hugging him shortly.
The podium is nice to see, they are all so happy and carefree.
I see Maider walking towards the back and I quickly follow.
I know Tom is busy packing up Fabio's gear right now, so this is my chance. My chance to have a few minutes alone with Fabio. I wanted to quickly talk to Fabio without Tom breathing down our necks.
"Hey Maider? Can I have like two minutes? I really want to congratulate him before I have to catch my plane", I ask her, looking hopeful. She smiles and nods, standing a little further away.
Fabio walks out with his hands full. His helmet, his trophy, his champagne and his bottle. He doesn't see me yet, busy talking to Pecco. Maider rushes back to my side, to take some things from Fabio.
"I'll take this from you", Maider pulls everything out of his hands and Pecco notices me, smiling big.
"Ciao, auguri Pecco", I smile at him. Fabio turns as he hears my voice and Pecco nods and smiles before walking off.
I pull Fabio in a hug, "I'm so proud of you, you did amazing. You were the strongest one out there today"
My arms around his neck. His arms around my waist, holding me close. He is sweaty, but I don't care.
"I didn't see you back there", he says a little disappointed. I pull away, to look in his eyes. His beautiful brown eyes. They look so sweet and soft and happy.
"I was in the back with Lin. I didn't want to interrupt your celebration with Tom and the team. But I was there, I promise", I kiss him softly for a few seconds.
"Thank you. I think I have to go to the press conference", Fabio tells me, looking at Maider.
Her arms are empty to that means she already dropped off his stuff there.
"Yeah, I know", I hold up one finger to Maider, indicating one more minute and she nods. "I just wanted to quickly see you now. I decided on going home tonight. I have an early therapy session tomorrow. I need to handle this Tom situation and I can't. So it's best if I have an extra therapy session. I'm sorry to leave so unannounced", I look down after rushing this out.
"I understand. If you need it, you should go. When are you leaving?", Fabio asks. The happy face, making room for a much sadder face.
"Tonight. I'm at the clinica mobile till 7, if you want to see me. But I understand if you are busy", I tell him. He nods, "I'll come by", he tell me, before kissing me softly. His hands on my cheeks. It's a really soft but quick kiss and Fabio is off, jogging towards Maider.
I make my way over to the clinica mobile and turn on my computer to do some work. Fabio comes by around five. He steps in my room, closing the door. He's wearing an oversized shirt and some shorts, his hair still wet from the shower.
"Hey", he kisses my hair.
"Hi. Congrats again, on your race and second place", I say standing up, giving him a hug.
"Thanks. Are you feeling okay?", He asks, his hands run up and down my back comfortingly.
"I'm more calm now that I have a therapy session tomorrow. And after I talked to Tom", I say softly. Fabio pulls back at me words, looking me in the eyes.
"You talked to Tom? When?", He looks confused, so I assume Tom didn't tell him about my outburst against him.
"Just after you rode the bike to the grid. I just told him my thoughts, that's it. I don't even know if he listened really", I sit down on the treatment table, looking down.
"What thoughts?", Fabio stands in front of me, still sounding confused. I don't look up.
"Just that he needs to stop taking this out on you, he hates me, not you"
"He doesn't hate you. He's just mad. But you're not telling me everything. I can see it. What else did you say?", Fabio's hands rest on my tights.
"Oh um, I told him.. H-he shouldn't feel threatened. Because if you have to choose, you will always choose him", I say a little embarrassed. I know he's gonna say that's not true and maybe it's not, but I think it is. And it feels like it's true. I don't know how to deal with this. Maybe they can help me tomorrow.
Fabio is quiet for a few moments. Observing me.
"Honestly..", he starts, but stops. He's looking for the right words. "I don't know. I hope I'll never have to choose", he eventually tells me. "But you know, now it makes sense"
He sits down next to me.
"What makes sense?", I ask a little confused. I slowly put my head on his shoulder.
"The way Tom came up to me earlier. He wanted me to know, he wasn't mad at me and he doesn't hate you. He says he needs time. It was so out of nowhere and so serious. You must've hit a nerve", Fabio tells me. He brushes a few strands of hair behind my ear, before capturing my lips in a slow passionate kiss.
He pushes me backwards, crawling on top of me. Things get heated pretty fast and Fabio starts to rub me a little over my shorts.
"Can.. can we please stop?", I get out.
Fabio stops immediately, sitting up and pulling me up.
"What's wrong? Is it because you are afraid someone is gonna walk in?", Fabio looks confused and guilty.
"Well that too. But.. god, this is embarrassing", I sigh, "I'm bleeding", my cheek flush when I tell Fabio this. I feel disgusting and embarrassed. But more then all I'm a bit worried. I haven't been on a period for like six months. Because of the pill. And I know sometimes it goes right through it and I need to stop for a few days. But this is different. In the hospital they told me I wouldn't get periods because of the hormones they gave me. And if I was bleeding it could mean something bad.
"Oh.. um. I didn't know. Sorry", Fabio is definitely uncomfortable right now.
I smile at his words. "You couldn't know. We just have to wait a few days. Luckily we won't see each other much. A little less temptation", I joke.
Fabio chuckles, "oh. I didn't ask, but do you want me to come with you for a few days? I can cancel my dinner plans"
I shake my head. "No. You go and spend some time with Tom. After you are going to Andorra right? Training?", I ask. He told me his plans before, to try and find the right schedule to see each other.
Fabio nods.
"I can come by during the weekend? I'm going to Italy on Monday, going to the ranch", I suggest. I want to spend more time with Fabio, but I can't just keep flying everywhere. It's costs more than I earn. Maybe I should look into some extra work, maybe personal training it something. That's the golden job they say..
"I'd like that. Just let me know when you are free to come and I'll arrange a plane. My girlfriend only deserves the best", Fabio kisses my hair, I blush at his comment.
"I can pay a normal flight", I tell him softly.
"I know. But I want you to save your money for yourself and let me treat you like this", he kisses me again.
We continue like this, sitting, talking, kissing, until we both have a plane to catch. Fabio a private plane with his brother and Tom, me a flight to the Netherlands. Mine is an hour later than Fabio's, so we go to the airport together. Fabio leads me through it, to the private plane. We are only 45 minutes early.. we decide to sit closeby, waiting for both Tom and Anthony.
Tom was first to walk this way. He looks a little lost and disorientated. He has thrown on a big shirt and some sweats. Something I've never really seen him wear in public.
"Oh, hey, you're already here", he says a little shocked when he sees us both. "Are you both..", he starts his question but doesn't finish.
I shake my head, "No, I'll go. I need to check in for my flight"
"Have a safe flight. Enjoy yourself and don't train too hard", I whisper in Fabio's ear. I kiss his cheek and give him a quick hug.
"You too. Good luck tomorrow and call me after, I don't care about the time. I love you", Fabio tells me softly.
"I will. Love you too", I say before walking away.
I'm around the corner and on my way to check in, when a voice calls me from behind.
I turn around to see Tom jogging towards me.
"I'm sorry. If I knew you would be this early, I would've left already", I apologise. I didn't want to make him angry.
"I don't hate you, you know", he says softly. His head hanging low. "I'm just sad that you don't trust me enough to tell me these things. And I am worried something will happen again"
"I'm sorry..", I walk backwards till I'm against the wall and slide down. "I really thought you'd hate me. And I was on the verge of quitting and walking away from everybody here today, to just give you what you wanted. A life without me in it..", I probably don't make sense right now, but I don't feel like anything makes sense now. I need peace and quiet.
"I don't want that. Maybe I thought I wanted it and maybe I acted like I wanted it, but I don't", Tom is sitting next to me now.
"I need to talk to my therapist. I just hope you won't take it out on Fabio again. He needs you, you are the most important person in his life, apart from his actual family", I say, pulling a hand through my messy hair.
"No, I'm not. You are", he says determined.
I sigh at his reply. Not saying anything.
"You will always be my sister. And Fabio will always be my brother", he says after a few moments of silence.
"Look um.. I think I need to check in. You should go back", I feel exhausted, I really need to talk to my therapist and sort everything out.
Tom nods, standing up, hesitating. I look up expectantly, what does he want? Not a hug right? I hope not.
"Um.. when will we have a chance to talk?", He asks.
"Maybe you could call me somewhere this week, if you want", I smile a little.
Tom nods and walks away, I slowly stand as well and walk towards check in.
Let's go home...