Julie's POV
It's Monday now and I'm still in Nice. I am starting to enjoy it here again. I haven't run into Alex at all and I kind of forgot about him. Fabio stayed here for a while before going back to Andorra. He is coming back here today and staying until Thursday morning. He's going on a private jet to the Redbull Ring with Tom, Anthony and Marion. I'm flying there on Wednesday. I don't mind going on my own. I'm staying at the clinica mobile motorhome again and start working a little bit more than in Silverstone. Dr Zasa reserved one of the bikes for me, so I can bike around the circuit if I want.
Matteo will also be back, same goes for Marc Marquez. Although he will only be watching. Matteo texted me multiple times, telling me to keep my mouth shut about them. Well.. I'm not gonna be the one to say anything. Fabio doesn't even know.
But I'm happy for them. It must be hard to suddenly be in love with a guy instead of a girl, so I'm glad it worked out. But I actually can't imagine Marc Marquez going public with this relationship. Not because of him, but because of all the eyes on him and the talks they would get. It wouldn't be pretty, that's for sure.
I've not seen Tom since that one time. I know him and Fabio had quite the talk after I left, but I don't know how that went. I only know that he needs time. And like I said before, I don't expect anything. So I don't expect him to talk to me. But I am kind of glad to not be on the same flight and not be in the same motorhome.
I don't know how Fabio feels about this though. He was okay with it, but I know he would rather have me to stay with him.
Well it's not like we are back together or anything. Although nobody knows we're broken up.
My days started with long runs through all of Nice and ended with long walks on the beach. Always alone. I think I'm okay with that now. The alone part I mean. I think I can make peace with knowing I don't really have friends and I think I can handle the lonely part that comes with the job now.
I still have Margaux, and I consider her a friend. She's still staying in my house. Atleast till September. So that's like two weeks. Then she's going to figure out what to do.
After the weekend in Austria I'm going home as well. I have a real life appointment with my therapist and I like a few days or week there to relax. And I'm going to Misano early anyway. I've been invited on the VR46 ranch and I really want to go there. And Tavullia and Cattolica. Going to the Marco Simoncelli museum and monument and stuff.
I think Fabio is going home too and that's okay. It's not like we're in a relationship, although I would want to be again.
Maybe we should announce our breakup on the socials. The fangirls spotted me here, while Fabio obviously isn't and they are making all kinds of stories.
I shouldn't let that bother me.. but it kind of does.
And I don't even know what Fabio is up to these days. Maybe he's seeing another girl. He would deserve that.
I should talk to him about this.
Fabio should be at the hotel by now. I make my way back from my spot on the beach and see Fabio sleeping on the bed when I enter.
I quietly walk towards the balcony, sitting down there. It's nice out here. It's hot, but in the shadow it's nice. I look at the sea and my mind goes back to our day in Barcelona. It was the best day of my life. I felt loved, admired and beautiful. Fabio made me feel all those things. He also was really careful with me that night and I still blush thinking about it.
It was the perfect first time.. atleast for me, maybe he didn't enjoy it that much. Maybe he's had much better. But he told me a few times he wanted to make love and I think we did..
But maybe he has done things with a lot of different girls in the meantime. It makes me sick to think about him and other girls, but it wouldn't surprise me. He can get a girl everywhere.
"Hey", Fabio yawns, standing in the open door.
"Hi, had a good nap?", I look up. I didn't hear him walking up here.
He nods, "what were you thinking about?"
I blush at his question and look down, "nothing".
"Hmm.. you can tell me later. I'm gonna change. You wanna go out for dinner?", Fabio asks, looking at me for a moment longer.
"If you want. I'm okay with whatever you prefer", I walk in with him.
"Well.. I still have my diet. So we could also go to my parents, my mom can cook something. I wanted to swing by somewhere during these days", he says, digging through his suitcase.
His parents? I'm not setting a foot in a house I'm very much not welcome at.
"You know what, you go. Enjoy your time there. I'm staying in the night. I'm not feeling that great anyway", I try to sound convincing. I smile, like I'm totally fine with it.
I was looking forward to an evening with him. But I'm not gonna go with him to his parents house. I'm fine with him going though, a little disappointed but fine.
He looks up surprised, "What's wrong?", his face shows concern.
"Maybe just a cold or something. Maybe you should stay away from me, just to be sure", I have a bit of a sore throat, but that's from the evening walks on the beach. It's getting chilly here at night.
"I've talked to my mother, so you can just come with me", he informs me. I don't think she would listen, but it's nice that he atleast said something to her.
I nod, "yeah, but just go. I'll join another time", I tell him. I wish I would have the courage to go there ever. But I don't think I will any time soon. I don't even dare to sit on a private plane with his brother and he was the nicest. Marion wasn't, but he was friendly.
"But I want to cuddle with you tonight", Fabio says determined.
"If you want to risk on catching a cold, just before race weekend, you can", I wink, trying to sound a little flirty.
"But seriously. Go spend time with your family. And if you want to stay there instead, just text me", I tell him.
Fabio nods, kissing the top of my head. "Just relax okay? I'm back before you know it", he says before leaving again.
I sigh when the door is closed. I am disappointed for not spending time with Fabio tonight. But I'm actually more disappointed at myself for not having the courage to just go with him.
I let myself fall back on the bed, closing my eyes for a brief second. Trying to focus on my breathing and getting my emotions back in check. This is not something to cry about.
After what seems like an hour, I get back up and go out myself. Going to my favourite Chinese takeaway. Its not a long walk and before I know it, I'm back outside with my takeaway in hand.
Just when I want to walk back, I literally run into someone. The last person I wanted to run in to. It's Alex.
He looks surprised and taken off guard. But that only takes a second before he composes himself.
"Look who's back here", he taunts, "it's my favourite little whore.. I thought you were too scared to come back here"
I don't know what to say. I could've figured this one out. This is his favourite takeaway as well.
I don't say anything, I'm too surprised.
"Where are your bodyguards?", He grins wickedly.
I snap out of my surprise, "what do you want, Alex?", I dare to ask.
"She can talk, wow. I'm sure you miss me", he smirks.
"Think what you want", I try to sound confident.
He suddenly grabs my wrist and pulls me closer to him, "don't get too confident, next time I'll have my way with you again"
He let's me go and I quickly walk off. I try to look like I'm not scared, but I am. Of course I am. What if I run into him again? What will happen then? I had a great time here, but I think I don't want to stay here. After his threats..
I'm the hotelroom I drop my food somewhere on the ground and walk towards the bathroom. I sit down on the cold tiles. I feel sick to my stomach, after a few seconds I throw up everything I have inside me.
I slumb against the wall and search for my phone, calling the one number who can really help me now.
Luckily my therapist is on call and she let's me talk.
I don't know how long we stay on the phone, talking about what happened, how I feel, but also about Fabio's parents and how he is there.
Eventually the room door opens and I hear Fabio's voice. "Julie? Where are you?", He opens the bathroom door and takes in the sight.
"Julie? Wie is er nu bij je?" (Who is there with you?), the therapist asks. Of course we talked Dutch, she's from the Netherlands.
"Fabio", I answer, not taking my eyes off him.
"Okay, ehm.. hi Fabio. I'm Estelle, Julie's therapist. Julie ran into Alex tonight", she explains in English with a heavy accent.
"What?", He asks shocked, his eyes still on me, his face worried.
"She's okay. She did amazing, she's just scared she's gonna run into him again. He threatened to do it again. She needs some comfort and support. Think you can do that?", she asks him. Fabio nods, "yeah, yeah of course". He still looks shocked and worried.
"Oké, Julie, bel mij morgenvroeg, goed?" (Call me in the morning, okay?), she tells me.
"Oké, doe ik" (Yes, I will). The phone call ends and Fabio is beside me in seconds.
"Come here", he tries to hug me, but I stop him.
"I need my toothbrush first, I um.. I threw up", I say a little embarrassed. Fabio nods taking my toothbrush and toothpaste and handing it to me, after I stand.
I quietly brush my teeth, before looking at myself through the mirror. I didn't cry and I look surprisingly fine. I just feel really tired.
"Let's go to bed, okay?", I ask, smiling a little.
Fabio nods, takes my hand and we walk out to the bed together. I change in his shirt and lay down. Fabio lays down in his boxers beside me. He looks at the ceiling, "what happened?", his voice is soft, almost a whisper.
"Not much. He was taunting me and I told him off. I was scared but I tried to look confident and unbothered. But then he pulled me close, hand on my wrist and told me to 'not get too confident, next time he'll has his way with me again'", I tell, quoting Alex's words.
"Shit.. where is he? I'm gonna make sure he's never gonna be able to do anything like that again", Fabio sits up angry, reaching for his jeans.
I reach and put a hand on his arm, "I'm okay. Nothing really happened. Yeah I got scared, but it's not like he can do anything in public"
Fabio sighs, letting his jeans fall on the floor again. "He just needs to stop with all those threats"
I pull him back, so he's laying down again.
"I'm fine, you see?", I intertwine his fingers with mine. "I'm okay now. And I'm only gonna get better. So stop worrying", I smile, pecking his lips.
The therapy snapped me out of it. I was scared and full of adrenaline. But now I'm okay again. What does he really want to do? He can't get to me that easily anymore.
Fabio looks me in the eyes for a second, before nodding. "You are the strongest girl I know. Its quite sexy", he smiles up to me.
He is really sexy himself.
I softly kiss his lips again. It's a small and sweet kiss.
"You know what I was thinking about this afternoon?", I blush a little, before continuing. "I was thinking about our night in Barcelona"
"Really?", his eyebrows shot up a little, his eyes getting darker. He pulls my body closer to him. "That night was better than winning the championship", Fabio states.
"Wait, what?", I blink a few times.
"Making love to you, is better than anything in the world", Fabio blushes. "You know, I didn't look, touch, kiss any other girl after that night. Let alone do anything more. It's you or nobody at all", he answers my unasked question.
I crash my lips on him and the kiss is heated immediately. My hands are in his blonde hair, while his are on my ass. We stay like that for a while, lips moving in sync. A soft moan or groan escaping our mouths.
Fabio eventually breaks this kiss, "before we continue this, I want to ask you something"
He looks in my eyes and softly brushes a few strands of hair out of my face. "Julie, would you want to be my girlfriend again?"
I didn't expect this question..
"I um.. I mean, are you sure? Is that the best idea right now?", I slowly ask, looking in his eyes. His eyes are soft and hopeful.
"For me it is. You are extremely important to me. And I know I was a shitty boyfriend before, but I will be much better now. I prioritise you before anything else", he looks away for a moment, before looking back in my eyes. His hands finds mine and squeezes it,
"I love you and I need you by my side"