The next morning Fabio is in his own world. He cracks jokes and talks, but it's all little things. I don't bother him much, it's race day after all. I laugh with him and try to act normal.
We got in bed last night and Fabio was fast asleep in minutes. I didn't sleep much, I kept thinking.
Thinking about Fabio and also thinking about the job offer. I think I'm gonna do it. It's good money and a job I always wanted.
In the meantime I decided to go to my parents for a week or something.
I'm gonna take the train to Barcelona during the race this afternoon. I don't want to say goodbye. I'm gonna write something down and then we'll see. I'm not running, I will be back, but I'm taking some time. And giving Fabio some time.
After the warm up practice, I'm at the Ducati hospitality. I promised Pecco, I'd be there, so I am. I treat him there. His shoulder keeps getting better and better.
"Where are you going to watch the race?", Pecco asks me.
"My train leaves at 14.30, so I'm not gonna watch this time. I'm going to my parents for a few days"
"Really? That's a shame. Well, when you are done, you at least have to join me in the pits. I'm gonna watch the Moto3 start", he suggests. I nod, why not.
Together with some other academy riders we stand in the pits. Pecco stands close to Migno's position, with me next to him.
I see Tom and Fabio standing a little more to the left, with some other riders around them.
It's an amazing experience to watch the start from so close. I'm grateful Pecco took me with him. I consider him a friend, but I don't know if he really is. To what extent can a rider be friends with a friend of the competition.
I hug him, thank him and give him my phone number. "If you need anything, please call"
"I will! Hope to see you soon", he tells me, hugging me back.
"Good luck on your race. I hope you win today", I whisper the last part, before walking away. Back to the motorhome.
The motorhome is empty. I knew Fabio would be watching the race in the pitbox and Tom is with him. He only comes back here after the Moto2 race to change in his leather suite.
This gives me some time to write some things down and pack everything.
I start writing a letter for Fabio. I tell him I'm on my way to my parents. That I want to give him and myself some time to think. That I'm very grateful for everything he did. I also tell him about the job offer. About how I maybe will be in Le Mans. That I don't expect anything from him, but he's free to call or text if he feels like it. And about how I'm not going to reach out to him. So it's up to him. I tell him I understand his choice, but a relationship with the right girl will make his riding better and can work out for both him and the girl. I end the letter with the words, 'I'm thankful for everything that happened between us and I will never forget it. If we don't stay in touch; good luck on your next championship, you'll always have my support'
It's a hard letter to write. I don't want to lose contact, but it's a serious possibility. If I'm not the right fit at the clinica mobile, than I'll probably never return to the MotoGP circus to begin with.
Then I write a short letter to Tom. It's nothing special. Just that I'm going to my parents, that I'm not running and that he doesn't have to worry.
I've texted my father, I'll be visiting tomorrow, I haven't heard back yet. We don't see each other much, but have a good bond together.
I haven't seen the Moto3 or Moto2 race, I've been too busy. So I'm a little startled when Fabio and Tom walk in.
"Hey!", I say, while tucking away the letters.
"Juul, did you watch the races?", Tom asks giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"I've only seen the Moto3 start. Pecco took me to the pits to watch", Tom looks at me curious. Fabio doesn't really pay attention. He walks to his bedroom and closes the door.
"So, Pecco?", Tom asks, sitting down next to me.
"Yeah. I looked at his shoulder this morning"
Tom nods at my answer, "why didn't you come to us? You could've watched the races with us"
"I just wanted some peace and quiet. Can I talk to him for a few seconds?", I ask looking at the closed bedroom door.
"Yeah, but he's focusing. So I don't know what you want to talk about, but if it's too heavy he probably won't be really hearing you"
I nod. I walk towards the closed door, knocking softly. "Fabio? Can I come in?"
"Yeah", I hear his voice from the other side. I walk in and close the door behind me.
"Hey", Fabio stands in front of me in nothing more than long boxers. His body on full display. I feel myself blushing and look at the floor.
"I... Um... I wanted to", I stumble over my words. My voice is soft, probably too soft for him to hear me.
"Hey.. it's just me. What is it?", Fabio steps closer, putting a hand under my chin. Carefully lifting my face.
My eyes meet his curious light brown eyes.
"I want to wish you good luck", I manage to tell him. Bravely I run a hand through his hair and kiss him on his cheek before stepping back.
"That's sweet, thank you. Will you be watching from the pitbox?"
I shake my head. "I'll be here. But I will always support you, wherever I am", I smile before turning around.
Fabio stops me and turns me back around, placing his lips on mine. The kiss is passionate and rushed. It feels like Fabio is searching something. I kiss him back hard, trying to put all my feelings in the kiss. My hands go around his neck, tugging on the hairs there.
His hands go under my thighs and he lifts me like I weight nothing. Instinctively, I put my legs around him.
He carefully pushes me against the wall. One of his hands tangling itself in my hair.
There's a burning sensation in the pit of my stomach and everything tingles. He makes me feel alive.
I break the kiss, out of breath. My eyes still closed, my head resting against the wall. I feel a smile forming itself on my lips. I must look crazy.
I slowly open my eyes to see Fabio smiling at me. He pecks my lips ones, before carefully setting me down.
My legs feel wobbly and I stand against the wall.
"That's some good luck kiss", I smile, my cheeks red.
"Sorry. I just wanted to do that all day long", Fabio brushes some hairs out of my face. "I should get ready"
"Yeah, I'll go. Good luck again", I walk out of the room, my legs a little less wobbly.
Tom is talking on his phone when I sit back down on a kitchen chair. I open my journal and write something at the end of Fabio's letter. Something I need to let him know. I tug it away again and open a new page on my journal. This time I'm making a little list of things I need to do. Things I can't forget.
Tom ends the call and goes in Fabio's room. After a few minutes they both come back out. Fabio's leather suite on, open in the front, with a naked chest and belly. It looks hot. He has one of his earphones in, the other one in hand.
I thought he would be in full focus right now, but he walks to me and kisses my cheek.
"Writing about me I hope?", He whispers in my ear.
"Always", a little grin appears on his lips when I answer.
"See you soon, Ma Chérie", he whispers before walking out.
All of the sudden it's quiet and I feel alone. I take both letters from my journal and read them again. Tom's letter is short, I write his name on it and place it on his bedside table.
Fabio's letter is much longer, I also write his name on it and place it on his pillow in his room.
I fold the Yamaha shirt, he lend me and lay it next to it. I hang the jacket on a stool in the kitchen.
I clean all the other things I used, pack the last things and see it's already a few minutes before the race start. I watch the first two laps on the TV before heading out. It seems that it will be a close race with Fabio and Pecco. Taking my luggage, I walk away. To the train. To my parents. Away from Fabio.