It felt as if his throat had been scorched, both painful and itchy, desperately needing water to soothe the burning pain. Shen Shuyun half-opened his eyes and weakly called out, "Water..."
Ning Wan quickly jumped out of bed and went to fetched a glass of water, he helped Shen Shuyun to sit up slowly. He placed the rim of the glass against Shen Shuyun's slightly cracked lower lip, and gently lifted his hand to pour the water in.
Shen Shuyun instinctively swallowed, drinking half a glass of water with Ning Wan's help. His mind gradually cleared, and the memories of the previous night returned. He opened his eyes, stared blankly at Ning Wan for a while, then fluttered his eyelashes, and his eyelids finally drooped halfway down.
"Brother Yun, I'm sorry..." Ning Wan sat there, feeling like he was being eaten alive by a thousand ants, in great agony. "I... I didn't mean to... I don't know what happened after I drank last night..."
Ning Wan covered his head, recalling the previous night. His memory was very fuzzy; he only remembered smelling a scent of jasmine, then instinctively pulling someone into his arms and licking that gland which belonged to him.
Although his mind was hazy, Ning Wan was clearly aware that this was his omega, so he held him contentedly. However, the omega's repeated rejections made him very impatient. He felt a burning irritation in his heart, clouding his vision and mind, driving him with an animalistic instinct to possess and control the omega beneath him. So he bit down hard on his gland, making him unable to move...
It wasn't until the next morning when he saw the dried tear stains on Shen Shuyun's face and the bruised and bloodied back of his neck that he suddenly realized what he had done.
He feared losing this person, yet he used the dumbest method.
Shen Shuyun's Adam's apple moved up and down. His slender neck was wrapped in a circle of white gauze, and the swollen, painful gland at the back was covered with a thick layer of cool ointment. He guessed it was Ning Wan who applied the medicine for him.
It was applied so thickly, and the gauze was wrapped crookedly and unevenly. It was clearly the work of Ning Wan, this clumsy alpha.
"I..." Shen Shuyun realized his voice was completely hoarse when he spoke.
Ning Wan showed a nearly crying expression, moved to the front of Shen Shuyun's bed, nervously clenched his fists like a child who had done something wrong, and dared not look Shen Shuyun in the eyes.
"I want to eat Xiao Long Bao from Xuanyu Lou and the Ama's pastries from South Street," Shen Shuyun's gaze fell on Ning Wan's hair whirl, his voice as light as a feather. "Can you buy them for me?"
Shen Shuyun knew that no matter what he said now, Ning Wan would blame himself and will come to talk to him what was wrong... But he didn't want to hear any apologies or explanations anymore. It was better to send Ning Wan out, let him do something for him. This way, maybe both of them would feel better this way.
"Okay, okay," Ning Wan stood up. "I'll go now."
Shen Shuyun smiled slightly, watching Ning Wan hurriedly put on his clothes and grab the car keys to leave. It wasn't until he heard the sound of the front door closing downstairs that the smile on his face gradually faded, revealing the extremely tired face behind the smile.
He slowly lay back on the bed, stiffly moving his neck, trying not to let the injured gland touch the pillow because it hurt so much.
Shen Shuyun really felt a bit tired.
He hugged himself tightly, telling himself that last night was just a nightmare. His alpha was still that affectionate person, but the persistent pain in the back of his neck shattered all his illusions.
Ning Wan didn't return quickly. Both Xuanyu Lou and Ama's pastries were very popular stores and required queuing, and they weren't close to each other. It took him nearly two hours to return. When he came back, he saw Shen Shuyun asleep in the bedroom again. He didn't wake Shen Shuyun, just sat by the bed, looking at Shen Shuyun's sleeping face.
Shen Shuyun has a quiet and gentle temperament, and he was the same when asleep, with shallow breaths and a very orderly sleeping posture. Ning Wan's gaze moved slowly from his face to the back of his neck. The white gauze almost blended with the pale skin, with a small patch of bruises showing from the edge of the gauze, starkly noticeable on the white skin. Ning Wan bit his lip, his fingers gently rubbing Shen Shuyun's neck, his eyes filled with unrelenting regret and pain.
Look at what he's done!
Everything he's done these past few days, whether it's hesitating or going crazy drunk, has been hurting his Brother Yun.
Ning Wan's eyes were slightly wet. It was he who tortured Shen Shuyun into this haggard state and yet wouldn't let go of Shen Shuyun... He still remembered the first time he met Shen Shuyun, he was covered in blood, held in Shen Shuyun's arms. Shen Shuyun looked down at him, his eyes clean and pure, as clear as a lake and now, what has he done to this lake?
Ning Wan closed his eyes, a tear slipped from the corner of his eye, dripping onto Shen Shuyun's hand. He looked at the sleeping Shen Shuyun, gently kissed the omega's forehead.
Brother Yun, I'll let you go. Let's not continue this painful existence.
Perhaps leaving me, you will be free and able to do whatever you want without any burdens.
He stood up, placed the Xiao Long Bao and pastries he bought on the bedside table, and left the bedroom.
------------------
Three days later, Shen Shuyun received a message from Ning Wan.
"Brother Yun, let's talk tonight."
Shen Shuyun knew this was inevitable, but when the day actually arrived, he still felt particularly heavy.
It was Thursday, September 26th, their 1,152nd day of marriage.
In the afternoon, Shen Shuyun took a leave from school and came home early. He called Aunt Wu, telling her not to come to work for the next two days. He went to the supermarket and made four dishes at home. He also cooked four dishes and a pot of lotus root and pork rib soup.
He just wanted to have one last proper meal with Ning Wan.
At 6:30 in the evening, Ning Wan opened the door to their home.
Shen Shuyun stood up from the sofa, walked to the entrance naturally, took Ning Wan's coat, smiled at Ning Wan, and said softly, "No matter what you want to talk about, let's sit down and have dinner first, okay?"
Ning Wan took off his shoes, looking at Shen Shuyun's smile, feeling a bit dazed. Then, his hand was held â he was led to the dining table by Shen Shuyun. "Go wash your hands first, I'll serve the soup."
He couldn't quite explain his feelings, Ning Wan pursed his lips and obediently went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He turned on the faucet, wet his hands. He rubbed the soap between his palms, creating layers of dense foam covering his hands like a cloud.
Suddenly, he felt a sense of retreat, but given the situation, he knew the few sheets of paper in the briefcase he brought home meant... Since this decision was made, there was no way back. He couldn't keep dragging Shen Shuyun along in a vague existence.
Ning Wan turned off the faucet, the water flow washed away the cloud in his hands, leaving nothing in his palms except the flowing water that was destined to slip away.
He walked to the dining table and sat in his usual seat. As soon as he sat down, Shen Shuyun handed him a bowl of steaming soup. Ning Wan took it, raised the bowl to his lips. For some reason, the rising steam made his eyes feel hot and tearful, but only a thin layer of moisture gathered in his lower eyelids, not enough to form tears and fall.
Ning Wan silently put down the bowl, the warmth of the soup bowl transferring to his palm. It was not scalding, just warm and just right.
"Try it. I've simmered it for a long time and the lotus root is very soft," Shen Shuyun sat across from him, his eyes curved in a smile. "After all, you might not get to eat it often in the future."
On the dining table, there were four dishes: fish-flavored eggplant, sweet and sour pork, red wine braised beef, and steamed yellow croaker. Every dish was Ning Wan's favorite.
Ning Wan picked up his chopsticks, took a piece of sweet and sour pork, and put it in his mouth. The familiar taste spread across his lips and tongue, the pork was chewed into pieces between his teeth and then swallowed down his throat, but it couldn't suppress the faint bitterness at the base of Ning Wan's tongue.
He looked up, meeting Shen Shuyun's gentle eyes. "It's delicious. Thank you, Brother Yun."
Then, Ning Wan drank the lotus root and pork rib soup clean. He put down the bowl, pulled a tissue to wipe the water stains from the corner of his mouth, and then said, "Brother Yun, I want to tell you a story."