"Have you not found Shen Shuyun yet?" Luo Xiao casually sat down next to Ning Wan, took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, pulled out one and put it in his mouth, "Not a single piece of news?"
Ning Wan lifted his eyelids to glance at Luo Xiao, silently taking a pink piece of paper from his hair.
Luo Xiao's hand, which was about to open the lighter, paused. He looked at the paper in Ning Wan's hand, chuckling a bit, his smile half awkward and half sweet: "Before I came here, I was helping Miao Miao with her craft homework. Maybe it accidentally got on me."
Saying this, he snapped the lighter shut, put it back in his pocket, and took the cigarette out of his mouth, putting it back into the cigarette case.
Ning Wan was curious: "Why don't you smoke anymore?"
Luo Xiao laughed, his words carrying a bit of pride, "I suddenly remembered that Xiao Han recently doesn't let me smoke. Besides, with a child now, I really shouldn't be smoking all the time. Smoking is addictive; once you start, it's hard to stop."
"You..." Ning Wan's teeth ached, "Qi Zhihan really has a way. How did he manage to train you to be so obedient?"
"You're still laughing at me? If you encountered Shen Shuyun, you'd be like this too!"
Luo Xiao recalled the time Ning Wan called him and asked him to go to his house. Even though he was puzzled, he still went. After ringing the doorbell for about ten minutes, someone finally opened the door. Before Luo Xiao could even complain, a body fell to the ground with a loud thud, making his scalp tingle.
Ning Wan was lying on the ground, his face ashen and unconscious. Luo Xiao was so scared he squatted down and patted his face: "Ning Wan, Ning Wan, what happened to you?"
His fingers touched Ning Wan's cheek, realizing how high his fever was, the scorching heat making him almost think this person had been roasted. Ning Wan lay on the ground, his cracked lips moving, uttering a few words. Luo Xiao leaned in close to hear, almost putting his ear against Ning Wan's mouth before he could understand: "Brother Yun... Brother Yun... Don't leave..."
Luo Xiao sighed, resigned, dragging his childhood friend into the car and taking him to the hospital.
Ning Wan was on an IV drip all night. Since he could still flare up at any time, Luo Xiao stayed in the hospital with him all night. It was only the next morning that Ning Wan finally opened his dim, lifeless eyes.
When he woke up, he stared blankly at the white ceiling for a while, as if it took him some time to realize where he was. He turned his head and saw Luo Xiao dozing in a chair, a trace of disappointment crossed his eyes: "Why are you here?"
Luo Xiao, who had been half-asleep, was instantly jolted awake by these words. He pointed at Ning Wan, his eyebrows almost standing up: "You ungrateful thing, wasn't it you who called me over yesterday and then collapsed in front of me? If I hadn't dragged you to the hospital for an IV, no one would have known if you burned up at home!"
The fragmented memory of yesterday returned to Ning Wan's mind slowly. He said in a slow tone, "I'm the patient, be quiet, my head hurts."
Luo Xiao was choked by his response and glared at Ning Wan. However, with just one look, his anger vanished without a traceâNing Wan looked so pitiful. He and Ning Wan had been together since childhood, and now, almost thirty years later, Ning Wan always seemed to be spirited and well-dressed. He had never seen Ning Wan in such a miserable state.
"You said you're all right, but why the divorce with Shen Shuyun?" Luo Xiao rubbed his forehead, trying to shake off the heavy fatigue, "You could have gone after Tang Yichuan! Chase after your long-time unrequited love, why are you lying here like this?"
Ning Wan looked at Luo Xiao in confusion, making Luo Xiao's neck hair almost stand up. He asked in a disjointed manner: "Luo Xiao, what is love really like?"
Luo Xiao snorted with a smile: "Why the sudden sentimentality? Love is something that can't be easily explained!"
"Then how did you settle down? Didn't you always say that life is short and you should enjoy it as much as possible, and never hang yourself on one tree?" Ning Wan rolled his eyes, seemingly trying hard to suppress it, "Why are you so focused on Qi Zhihan now? Back then, when he was pursuing you, you weren't interested in the childhood bride. What made you decide that you must have Qi Zhihan for this lifetime?"
Luo Xiao, reminded of his past with Qi Zhihan, couldn't help but feel a tinge of bitterness and regret. He clasped his hands behind his head, pursing his lips, "There's a saying, 'You only know how to cherish what you've lost.' Sometimes people are just inexplicably fickle. I realized I needed him because I love him. It's like airâformless and invisible, surrounding you all the time, making it hard to notice its existence. But think about it, if you're in a place without air, like underwater, you can't even survive!"
Luo Xiao's recollection was interrupted by Ning Wan's long sigh. Ning Wan looked at Luo Xiao, took the pink paper, crumpled it in his hand, and asked, "Is the detective you hired reliable? How come it's been so long and they haven't found anything? Why not just directly call Shen Shuyun's family and ask? At this point, is it still about face or not?"
"You think I haven't tried?" Ning Wan's face darkened, "I called Shen Shuyun's father and tried to ask a few questions, only to find out that Shen Shuyun seems to have never told his family about our divorce! It's almost the New Year, do you think Shen Shuyun will go home to visit?"
Luo Xiao rubbed his chin and thought for a moment: "Most likely he won't. You've been divorced for a few months. If he hasn't mentioned it at all, he probably won't go back this New Yearâotherwise, how would he explain the absence of both of you during the New Year's greetings?"
Ning Wan closed his eyes dejectedly, a bitter taste filling his throat.
The search for Shen Shuyun had probably started about a month ago.
Ning Wan recalled the company's annual meeting a month ago, and couldn't help but sigh again. A month ago, at the end of December, Ning Wan's company held its annual meeting as usual. Many of the mid-level and senior staff members were in their late twenties, and the internet sales department was mostly young people. It got so noisy that Ning Wan could barely handle it, feeling like he might fall ill again. After the meeting, everyone insisted on going to a bar to continue partying. Ning Wan had little interest and initially wanted to refuse, but was persuaded by a few young women, so he agreed, thinking it was only once a year. Tang Yichuan was also among the invitees, and in the end, he was dragged along by a few young men.
The music in the bar was very loud, with men and women dancing to the DJ's tunes, and the flickering lights made people dizzy. Ning Wan had no interest and chose to stay in a corner with Tang Yichuan, drinking.
Tang Yichuan finished the last sip of his drink, licking his lips with some lingering satisfaction: "Why don't you go and join the fun? You're only twenty-seven this year, why are you so old-fashioned?"
"Old-fashioned?" Ning Wan's lips twitched, "Not exactly, just not interested."
Tang Yichuan's fox-like eyes took in everything. He smirked and said, "Not interested in dancing? I see Boss Ning has been off lately. What's going on?"
"Is that so?"
"Yes!" Tang Yichuan's smile was bright but carried a hint of sharp sarcasm, "I think you've got lovesickness. Otherwise, why haven't you chased me since you're divorced?"
Ning Wan was stunned.
The seats were not very spacious, so they were close together. Tang Yichuan, having drunk more, had a faint scent of jasmine flowers that kept drifting into Ning Wan's nose. Ning Wan raised his long lashes and looked at the person next to him. Tang Yichuan's smile didn't reach his eyes at all, exuding an unapproachable demeanor. Ning Wan was a bit dazed. He thought, Tang Yichuan, is this really the youth he's been in love with for so many years?
After six months of contact, Ning Wan and Tang Yichuan had become gradually familiar. He found that although Shen Shuyun and Tang Yichuan both had jasmine-scented pheromones, they were completely different peopleâShen Shuyun was gentle and elegant, like a warm jade, smooth and flawless, while Tang Yichuan was the exact opposite, sometimes cold and sometimes almost harsh, like a rose full of thorns, where even a touch would make you bleed.
In Ning Wan's memory, the youth who had pulled him back from the brink of death should be gentle and kind like Shen Shuyunâor rather, the person he had longed for should be someone like Shen Shuyun. But Tang Yichuan, in contrast, was nothing like the "white moonlight" he had imagined. This is why when he found Shen Shuyun, he did not hesitate or doubt, and firmly believed Shen Shuyun was the one who saved him.
Shen Shuyun would always be accommodating, Tang Yichuan would not; Shen Shuyun would look at him with loving eyes, Tang Yichuan sometimes wouldn't even give a glance.
Ning Wan thought of Shen Shuyun more and more often. With every thought of Shen Shuyun, he felt farther from Tang Yichuan. His three-year marriage with Shen Shuyun was not a lie, and the time they spent together was not empty. Three years had enough memories to reminisce.
Suddenly, Ning Wan recalled Luo Xiao's words: "I need him because I love him."
Did he really love Tang Yichuan? Was it Tang Yichuan he loved, or the hand that had once reached out to him in the river?
If he was just infatuated with that moment of warmth, then how could he reconcile with the fact that Shen Shuyun had given him much more warmth?
Perhaps he was not in love with the boy who saved him, but with the warmth, and the three years of meticulous care and companionship had already made him fall deeply in love.
This voice in Ning Wan's heart grew louder. He held his silent heart and chose to listen to the voice within.
Ning Wan repressed his smile, his hand cold from the ice cubes in his glass: "Maybe... it's because I don't actually like you?"
Tang Yichuan tilted his head, his smile fading away, his gaze sincere as he patted Ning Wan's shoulder: "Don't miss it, go find him quickly."
That "him," though not explicitly mentioned by Tang Yichuan, was understood by both to be Shen Shuyun.
Ning Wan raised his glass, clinking it with Tang Yichuan's empty glass, and then drank up. He thought for a moment and finally said two words to Tang Yichuan: "Thank you."
This thank you was for the boy Tang Yichuan from over a decade ago and for the person who awakened him now.
Their entanglements and obsessions, whether with regret or confusion, all fell into this glass of wine. Drinking it would make everything past.
A large group of people chattered and laughed, and by the time they dispersed, it was almost one in the morning. Tang Yichuan drank too much and couldn't hold his liquor. Ning Wan couldn't stop him, so he had to support the staggering person outside.
Who would have thought that as soon as they exited the bar, Ning Wan felt a gust of wind blow across his face. He instinctively duckedâafter marrying Shen Shuyun, he had taken up martial arts again and had not stopped practicing for three years. Now, dealing with a few burly men alone was no problem.
He was confused by this unnamed anger, and when he looked up, he saw a pair of blue-green eyes.
A foreign man with curly blonde hair and a deep-set face was staring at him, angrily ranting in rapid English. He spoke too fast for Ning Wan to understand word for word, but he caught some phrases and realized the man was cursing at him. Ning Wan was about to ask who he was when his forearm was tightly grasped by the stumbling Tang Yichuan. He turned his head and saw Tang Yichuan's pale face under the streetlight.
"Go, quickly," Tang Yichuan frowned as if he wanted to hide behind Ning Wan, "Ignore this madman."
The foreigner's face darkened. He grabbed Tang Yichuan's hand and forcefully pried open his fingers, pulling Tang Yichuan closer. His other hand naturally wrapped around Tang Yichuan's waist, and then he asked in Chinese, word by word: "Tell me, who is the madman?"