chapter 14- jealously

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Amy had spent too much time fooling around, and in the end, she paid the price during the exam period. She crammed the night before the exams, and unsurprisingly, performed horribly.

The stressful period finally ended, and Amy returned home looking sleepy and exhausted.

Zahn sighed, noticing her condition.

Amy shared her regret, "You were right. I should have studied beforehand."

"Too late now. Did you perform poorly?" Zahn asked, his tone stern but concerned.

"Uh, I did," she admitted.

He shook his head. "What can be done now? You never listen anyway. Here, drink this," he said, handing her a cup of coffee.

Despite her exhaustion, Amy felt a surge of happiness. She was free from the exams and ready to prepare for her audition for the college drama!

Amy and Elliot prepared for the stage drama together. The audition date finally arrived, and although Amy felt nervous, she was determined. When the results were announced, she was ecstatic to be accepted for the lead role. She rushed to share the news with her friends.

"I knew you would be accepted. You are talented," Ruby said, not surprised.

"Haha, yeah," Amy laughed, feeling proud.

Elliot walked over to Amy, "I'm also selected for the lead role. Congrats, Amy. We'll be playing together."

Amy smiled, "That's nice to hear."

He further suggested, "let's practice later for our performance."

"Yeah Sure," Amy agreed.

After Elliot walked away, Ruby looked at Amy doubtfully.

"What?" Amy wondered.

"Last time you said you didn't like him at all. Now you're talking to him and even smiled at him?" Ruby asked, puzzled.

Amy rolled her eyes. "So what? We practiced together for the audition. He's actually not as bad as I thought. We might even become friends."

Ruby raised an eyebrow. "He seems more suited for you... while Zahn is so strict. How are you living with him?"

Amy laughed slightly. "Is that so? He might be strict, but he has a soft heart."

Ruby sighed, "Let's see how long this goes on..."

Later, Amy went into Zahn's apartment, her eyes sparkling with joy and a wide smile on her face. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

Zahn was sitting at his desk, surrounded by textbooks and papers. He glanced up, "Amy, I'm working on an assignment. Don't bother me."

"No, I've got to tell you something! You know what? I got the lead role in the college drama!" she announced, unable to contain her enthusiasm.

Zahn smiled slightly, but his attention was already drifting back to his work. "That's great, Amy."

"Hey, I expected a better response! It's a big deal!" she said, her excitement fading into frustration.

He sighed, "I get that, but hold on, Amy. I'm a little busy."

Amy felt a surge of annoyance. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. Ugh, he is always busy. So frustrating.

Deciding to focus her attention on her practice instead, Amy left him to his work. She pouring her energy into perfecting her role. but it also meant spending longer hours at the drama club.

Zahn wanted to make it up to Amy. He wanted to show her that he cares but it seemed like every time he reached out, she was busy with her rehearsals. The evenings grew longer, and the time they spent together grew shorter. He found himself coming home to an empty apartment, the silence echoing his loneliness.

When Amy came back late one evening, Zahn inquired, "Coming back so late, huh?"

"Yeah, and you continue to stay busy with your studies," she shot back.

He sighed, "I'm sorry, okay? But I'm happy that you were accepted for the role."

Amy decided to let it go. "Yeah, yeah, okay."

"Is it fun? Preparing for your drama?" he asked, trying to bridge the gap between them.

She spoke with contentment, "hm. It's so fun yet tiring. Rehearsing for the drama is exhausting, but I really enjoy it."

He smiled, "It's good to see you working hard for something. I wish you could have the same motivation for exams too."

She frowned, feeling his words were mocking her. "Why are you bringing that up that now?"

"I'm just saying--"

She felt her twinge of annoyance.

"Why do you always talk about studies? Can't you be happy for me?"

Zahn looked at her with a mix of surprise and concern. "It's not like that. I'm glad for you, really."

"Don't talk to me unless you have something else to say."

Zahn felt lost at words. He felt somewhat frustrated at Amy but also blamed himself for being over critical

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Amy sat on the steps of the college theater, her script lying forgotten beside her. She sighed, feeling misunderstood by Zahn.

Elliot approached her, "Hey, what's up? You look deep in thought."

She shook her head. "It's nothing, really."

"Come on, you can share with me, if you feel like it."

Amy hesitated, then decided to open up. "You know Zahn... I feel like he doesn't understand me."

"And why do you think so?" Elliot asked gently.

"Look, he didn't even seem excited when I told him I got the lead role in the upcoming drama. Maybe I'm being immature, but I feel like I'm secondary to him... He even told me that I should have same motivation for studies too. I get he is right, but why does he have to mention studies all the time? I don't like that," she said, her emotions swirling.

Elliot nodded, understanding. "

That's really tough, Amy. It sounds like Zahn has his own way of showing concern, but it's coming off wrong. I get how it feels to not be understood. It's frustrating when someone you care about doesn't seem to appreciate what's important to you."

She sighed. "I agree, he cares a lot about me. I don't think anyone would care as much about my health, my studies, my habits. I just wish he could start taking things more lightly instead of being so rigid, and understand me more."

Elliot leaned back, looking thoughtful. "Hm. Both of you are very different from each other. But you've got to find a balance, okay? You need to talk properly."

Amy looked at him, somewhat surprised. "Thanks, Elliot... It's weird, but it feels like I'm seeing you in a new light. You're not that bad."

He laughed. "What does that mean? Did I seem horrible before?"

"Well, yes. I thought you were annoying and a show-off," she admitted with a smile.

He smiled softly. "I agree, I was. But you know, I liked you because I was really inspired by you. Last year, I saw your drama performance. I was really moved by your personality and your aura."

She was stunned. "Whoa, I had no idea..."

"You know, you are really amazing. You are dedicated," Elliot said sincerely.

Amy felt deeply touched. It was like hearing something she had always wanted Zahn to say. She also felt a sense of relief, like she could find some solace in him as a friend she could rely on. "Thank you, Elliot. It means a lot."

"It's okay. Let's grab some coffee from the cafeteria, okay?" he suggested.

She nodded with a smile. "Sure, that sounds nice."

On the other hand, Zahn heard others talking about the stage drama as he walked down the corridor.

"Amy and Elliot are spending so much time together recently. Are they dating?"

"Well, it's because they're going to be the leads in the upcoming stage drama. But most likely! I bet they are dating since Elliot confessed to Amy last time. Honestly, they look amazing together."

"I know, right?" another girl spoke.

Zahn was stunned and felt a wave of discomfort.

Amy didn't tell me that Elliot is going to be the lead too...

As he walked outside after class, he saw Amy and Elliot hanging out. They were talking and laughing together.

He frowned. They were bickering last time. How come they look so close now? Discomfort gnawed at his heart.

He just wanted to approach her already and talk to her about it, but then he stopped himself. Amy would just be upset with him. She didn't want anyone to find out about their relationship anyway.

He controlled himself and decided to talk later. Later at home, he waited for Amy to come back.

The door finally opened, and Amy walked in, looking tired but content. She noticed Zahn's tense posture immediately. "What's wrong?"

Zahn stood up, his tone cold. "I saw you with Elliot today. Heard you are going to be leads together in the upcoming drama."

Amy sighed, setting her bag down. "If you're wondering why I didn't tell you, it's because I knew you were uncomfortable with him because of what he said last time. But let me tell you, he is sorry for that. He's not really that bad."

"Ah, not bad? You prefer him now? Everyone is talking about how good you look together. Is that why you didn't tell me?" Zahn's voice was edged with jealousy and frustration.

She rolled her eyes. "It's not even a big deal. What's up with you? We are just part of a play. What people say doesn't matter, Zahn."

Zahn ignored her response and went to his room, while Amy stood there, feeling frustrated.

Why is he like this? I just wanted a proper relationship with him... but why is it so hard for him to be understanding?

A few days later, Zahn started to feel regret. Amy had been upset with him, and he realized he had been too harsh and unsupportive of her interests. He decided to visit the drama club and see her rehearsal, hoping it would make her happy.

As he approached the drama club, he could hear faint music and the sounds of voices echoing through the halls. Pushing open the doors, he quietly stepped inside, he spotted Amy, dancing closely with Elliot.

Amy's hand rested gently on Elliot's shoulder, while Elliot's hand was firmly placed on her waist, guiding her movements. Their other hands were intertwined, creating an intimate connection that made Zahn's stomach churn. His heart clenched with jealousy.

The way they looked at each other, the ease with which they danced, made his jealousy flare. But he tried to push it down.

There were also a lot of people in the drama club, awed by the performance. Some whispered, "Gosh, how romantic. They are indeed a couple, aren't they?"

"They are. Definitely. They seem in love."

His frustration grew as he heard others' words.

The dance finally ended with a flourish, and the room filled with applause. Amy's eyes fell on Zahn. She was surprised, and for a brief moment, her face lit up with happiness, intending to go to him. Zahn... He is here to see my rehearsal?

But then she quickly turned away. Even she didn't know why, but it just happened. She didn't want to draw attention.

Zahn stood there, stupefied, not understanding Amy's reactions..is it too hard to just pass a smile? Feeling dissapointment in his heart.

A person noticed him and spoke, "Oh, you are Zahn, right? Who are you here to see?"

"No one," he replied coldly. Not wanting to stay any longer, he turned and walked out of the drama club, his emotions a tangled mess of jealousy and hurt. Amy watched his disappearing figure and felt immense guilt.

He found himself back at his apartment, staring blankly at the wall. His thoughts raced, trying to make sense of what he had seen and felt. The image of Amy dancing with Elliot, the way she had looked at him, haunted his mind doubled with Amy's reaction to him.

Amy quickly ran over to his house, feeling like she had really hurt him earlier.

As she entered, she rushed to him. "Zahn... I'm sorry for earlier..."

He took a deep breathe, trying to keep his emotions calm. "Why did you avoid me, Amy?"

Her eyes filled with remorse. "It wasn't on purpose... I mean... I just couldn't. You know, Zahn, I don't want to draw attention. Otherwise, people will find out we are dating..."

He frowned. "So what?"

"Please just forget about it. It shouldn't matter... I'm glad you came to see my rehearsal, though..." she tried to shift the topic.

He suddenly questioned, "You really like me, right, Amy?" his eyes searching hers for truth.

"Of course, Zahn! I really do!"

"Then can you do something for me? Can you stop this secret dating thing? Why don't you just reveal to everyone about our relationship already?" he demanded, his voice desperate.

Amy felt a surge of helplessness wash over her. the weight of his demand pressing down on her.

"Why...? I mean.. What difference does it make...?"

He couldn't control his frustration anymore. "What difference does it make? A lot, Amy! I am tired of hearing all this gossip that you are with someone else."

"It's gossip for a reason, isn't it? Zahn, it's just much better if we don't reveal anything. Otherwise, won't it be annoying? People will start bothering you with questions."

He frowned. "Just say you don't want to reveal it, Amy. Stop trying to find excuses."

Amy pressed her lips together, too frustrated now. "It never concerned you before. Now why do you even care?!"

Zahn felt a surge of emotions. "Because I can't take it anymore. Do you think I have no feelings? What are you even embarrassed about?!"

She shook her head, her voice breaking. "Embarrassed of what? I'm just scared, Zahn... scared of what people will say... they will probably judge our relationship...",

He was finding it hard to understand her anymore, his frustration surging. "I don't get you. Why are you concerned about what other people say?!"

Amy's gaze dropped. her voice barely a whisper.."I'm sorry, Zahn..."

His anger reaching its peak, he grabbed her shoulder. his grip tight. "You know what? You are selfish."

Her eyes widened. Unable to process the harshness of his words. "What...?"

The weight of his words hung in the air, and Zahn, feeling a mix of rage and sorrow, could no longer stand to be in the same room. He turned and walked out, leaving.

Once again, Amy was left standing in the room, grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. She felt lost, unable to understand herself or him. The accusation echoed in her mind, and her heart felt heavy with the burden of his words.

Am I really... selfish...?

she wondered, as tears welled up in her eyes, blurring her vision with the pain of doubt and self-recrimination.