Chapter 64: SEBASTIAN - Breaking the News and Seeing If I Live

WaterRose, Meadow Mountain, Grier country

SEBASTIAN

Sebastian was happy to be home. Happier to be in her arms.

Her slim frame was tucked against his side. Cheek resting on his chest.

He stroked her long silver blonde hair. Watching the shining strands thoughtfully.

“What are you thinking?” She murmured against his chest. Warming the skin she breathed against.

“I’m thinking of your warm belly on my hip.”

Partially. And the warm mound of it. Wondering how to discuss it without scaring you away.

“And?”

“Do you wish me to simply blurt what I know not how to say?”

“Will it hurt me?” He felt her body tense in fear.

No. It’ll make you want to fight.

And I’m very much enjoying this moment.

“I think it’ll likely make you angry.”

Know it will.

She didn’t ease. “What’ve you done?” She lifted her chin to look at him. Huge blue eyes intent. Glowing from candlelight dancing from the bedstand.

Me? It wasn’t just me.

“I think it’s more what we’ve done.”

“We?” Her voice rose.

His look turned chastising. “Elsabet? Do you truly not know or are you feigning with me?”

Would you hide this from me purposely?I hope not.

She looked taken aback. “I’m not a woman to feign.”

He tilted his head grudgingly. I do know that to be true.

“You’re right. I apologize for implying otherwise.” He drew a long breath. “But Elsabet we must talk about what lies between us then.”

“You mean unspoken emotion, beating hearts, anger and fear?”

His mouth moved and he looked around the room as he tried to determine how to answer that. Well, I’d like to discuss those things to but not really what I meant…

This moment anyway.

“I’d love to discuss all of those things with you, if you’re willing. After this conversation. At this moment I mean what literally lies between us.”

Her brows lifted in a teasing way and her gaze slid down his body.

“Not that.” He put a finger to lift her chin. “Your sweet belly.”

She frowned.

“Do you not notice your deep hunger and the swelling there?” He reached to flatten a palm on where her lower abdomen jutted into his hand.

“I’m not getting fat. Just bloated some.”

A bit more than bloated, My Dear.

“Elsabet has it been some time since your last woman’s time?”

She blinked rapidly absent words. “No.” She sat up. Staring at him wide eyed. Silver hair a cloud to frame her angular face.

“Yes, Lover.” He nodded slowly. Trying to be gentle. Understanding her shock.

She was shaking her head at the same pace. “I-but I can’t…I don’t…I’ve never…”

“You’ve never carried a child before?”

“I-I don’t think so. If I did it was-he-it was gone.”

Her man would’ve killed it when he hurt her.

“Because he hit you?”

She began to tremble. Terror written over her face. “I don’t know how-I can’t.”

It’ll be okay. I’ll be by your side.

Don’t be afraid.

“You can.”

“I can’t.”

“You are.” He lightly kneaded the area of her stomach below her belly button.

She gnawed her bottom lip. “What-what does that make you feel?”

She’s asking me about my feelings? He couldn’t recall a single other time that’d occurred.

His brows went up in surprise. “Afraid. Excited.”

“Why do you fear? You aren’t carrying it!”

But you are. And I don’t want anything to happen to you.

“I fear…you…don’t want it.” He confessed. “That it’ll drive you away from me.”

More than anything else has.

She looked from his hand on her stomach to his face and he was surprised when her small hands slowly crept over his. Overlapping to press them more firmly against her.

What are you doing, Sweetheart? His eyes lifted to her face and he knew his pain was written there.

“You’re sure?” She breathed.

“I’m certain.” He smiled half-heartedly. “I can hear its heartbeat.”

She gasped. “For how long?”

“Since my return to WaterRose.”

The second day, I caught it.

“You’ve known so long?”

“One has only to watch you eat.” He said dryly.

“I am hungry all the time.” She deflated.

Making him chuckle. “You’re beautiful. You’ll be beautiful.”

Round and waddling. Carrying my young.

“What do I do?”

“Stay close to me. Be with me. Let me hold you and love you.”

“And do you still imprison the mother of your child?”

Ouch.

Don’t!

He winced. “Please.” Pain darkened his eyes as he begged her not to discuss it now.

Her eyes narrowed on him. Knowing what his answer would be and aware he knew she’d not take it well. Relenting she let the subject drop but he felt the distance it’d wrought, nonetheless. As her hands fell from his and she crawled back under the coverlet.

Wounded.

I hurt her. Again. He sensed her pain and knew his failure to give her freedom had crushed the moment. It made his heart ache. But the thought of waking tomorrow and finding her and their unborn child gone was more painful.

I wouldn’t be able to bear that. He gritted his teeth and stared into the darkness. Unsure if he should try to hold her or leave her be.

What do I do?

Suddenly a moment that’d been so beautiful seemed dark and unsure.