Chapter 32: Chapter 32

I’m jolted awake one morning by a tall, thin woman with a pinched face and thinning hair. My eyes fly open and I let out a yelp, setting off a round of giggles from the girls around me.

The woman gives me a stern look, waiting for me to get out of bed before she starts talking.

“Alexandra, get dressed quickly. Miss Violet wants to see you,” she says in a clipped tone. She nods curtly, then turns and waits.

As I’m getting dressed, Joy bounds over to me, a wide grin on her face. She winks at me encouragingly.

“Miss Violet?” I whisper to her, my eyes wide.

“You’ve met her, right? The old lady with the cough? She’s the one who—”

“I know who she is, but why does she want to see me?” I interrupt.

Joy grins at me again. “Isn’t it obvious? Marriage. You’ve been here for a few months now. It’s time to start thinking about your future. You’re already pretty old to be unmarried. So am I.

“But I’ve got my eye on someone, and we’re just waiting for Miss Violet and our parents to give their blessing.” She giggles. “You should be excited. This is the first step to your new life here in Resistance.”

I pull my shirt over my head. ~My new life.~ I smile and nod at Joy. Still half asleep, I stumble out of the dorm and almost collide with the thin woman waiting for me.

“My name’s Hera,” she tells me. “Follow me.”

I nod and do as she says. She leads me through the underground city at a brisk pace. It’s much earlier than when I usually wake up, and most of the shops are still closed or just starting to open.

Hera takes me to the eastern tunnel, the one reserved for families with young children. As we walk through, I notice little kids staring at me with wide eyes. Boys and girls playing together giggle when they see me.

My heart starts to race as I take them in. In my mind, I see Beth among them, sitting, playing, giggling. The thought almost brings tears to my eyes, so I lower my head slightly and follow Hera closely.

Hera pushes open the door to a small house. It’s one of the first homes that was built in Resistance, made of packed dirt and rubble from the broken tunnels. Hera steps aside, and I walk in.

The house has just one room, simply decorated with a desk in the center and two chairs facing it. Shelves thick with stacks of paper line the walls. I wonder how old the paper is.

Above the desk hangs a flag. It’s a flag I don’t recognize: red, white, and blue crosses.

Sitting behind the desk is Miss Violet. Her dark hair is pulled back tightly, and she’s clutching a handkerchief in her left hand. She looks at me and gestures for me to sit down across from her.

My gaze lingers on the flag as I sit.

“Union Jack,” she says.

“Sorry?”

“That’s the name of the flag,” she explains. “It was the flag of this country before Albion. It represented an empire. Long ago, the empire spread across the world. Now this flag might be one of the last intact ones in the world.”

I stare at the flag, wide-eyed, trying to understand through the colors and crosses who those people were before Albion.

“Did all flags have names?” I finally ask.

“We’re not here to talk about flags,” Miss Violet tells me with a small smile. “We’re here to talk about your future, Alexandra. You understand that, right?”

I nod once. She shuffles through some papers on her desk and coughs harshly into her handkerchief. Then, twirling a pen in her hand, she looks up at me.

“As you probably know, my ancestor Katherine Rivers was the co-founder of Resistance. Before the war, she was a midwife. She continued that profession in Resistance.

“It was hard for her because most of the babies born at that time were terribly disfigured. But she persevered. She passed her responsibilities to her daughter and down the line to me today.

“Now, my responsibilities have grown and changed with the needs of Resistance over the years.

“As you’re probably aware, there’s a certain number of babies that are allowed to be born in Resistance each year because of our limited space and food supply. That’s why we have the list.

“There are a few small tests if you want to have a child or more. You have to discuss all this with your husband, of course. But most couples want children.

“We test your ability to have children together. We can only see how physically compatible the two of you are because we don’t have the scientific equipment to test the chances of a disfigured or handicapped child.

“Alexandra, you might find this harsh, but Resistance already has too many cases of premature death due to disfigurement and handicap.

“If the child has no chance of growing up and starting a family of their own, we have no choice but to end the child’s life very young.

“If this happens, your name will be put at the top of the list so you can try again as soon as possible. Do you understand?”

I nod seriously. “Of course. It’s the same for the Perfects,” I say.

Miss Violet blinks at me slowly. “Alexandra, it’s my job to match couples and organize the list and later the lives of the young families. Am I wasting my time with you?” she asks softly.

I purse my lips then shake my head. “You’re not,” I say.

“I understand that you still consider yourself a Perfect, and unlike every other Resistant in Resistance, you don’t see the Perfects as your mortal enemy. Am I right?”

I hesitate, then nod. “I ran away from them, but that doesn’t change who I am,” I say.

“Correct. Here in Resistance, we’re offering you a future and a life among us. We offer this to anyone who needs it. But you have to want it, and you can’t change your mind later.

“Alexandra, do you want Resistance to take care of your future from now on, or not?”

“I do.” The confidence in my voice surprises me, but Miss Violet smiles at me and I manage to smile back at her.

“There are folks here who weren’t born in Resistance, who traveled from far and wide to be here. It might feel tough and challenging at times, but I promise you, you’ll find your place among the Resistants.”

She breaks off to cough into her handkerchief, then picks up her pen. “How old are you?”

“Maybe twenty, or twenty-one.”

“We should get going then.”

She pauses, her glassy gray eyes studying me. “Alexandra, I need the truth. I’ve heard whispers from the other girls that you’re a mother. Is that true? Tell me about your child.”

I blink at her in surprise, then nod. “Beth. She’s probably around three now. She’s a very healthy little girl. She’s in school now.”

“You say she’s healthy. How healthy by the Perfect standard?”

I tilt my head, considering.

“They say we can live a hundred years, but in our youth, we give ourselves to Albion. The men fight and die young. The women start having children at fifteen, eight in total, with only a year’s gap between each.

“Many Perfects die in childbirth. My mother, my friend…” I take a deep breath. “If a child is born with any visible or mental defects, it’s terminated immediately.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Miss Violet says, jotting something down. She looks back up at me after another bout of coughing.

“I match couples based on age, interests, and status. Since you weren’t born here, your status is quite low. But your exotic and Perfect qualities are intimidating, which makes you intriguing.

“You lack the education that’s standard in Resistance, which means you’ll need help educating your children. This also lowers your status. Are you following?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You are, however, very desirable.

“The fact that you’re extremely healthy, you’ve never had any cancers, and you’ve proven that you can have a healthy child like yourself gives you a high status.

“You have no parents, like many young people these days, which puts your future entirely in my hands to negotiate. Now, there have already been many requests for you.”

“Requests?”

“Young men expressing their desire to marry you and build a life with you. Also parents wanting you to marry their sons.”

“Really? Who? Do I know them?”

“For their sakes, I can’t tell you. But the rise in requests also raises your status. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, and I have an idea. After you’re married, you’ll be put on the list.

“My dear, it’s best for you to have many children in Resistance. You understand that your children will be the healthiest ones here.

“Healthy children should be born into a high-status family, where you can focus on your husband’s affairs and your need for help to educate your children will be hidden.

“You intimidate the Resistants, which will encourage others to follow your husband. There has been one request that was made secretly, a shy one that hadn’t been discussed with the parents before.

“It was expressed out of sincerity. The mayor’s eldest son has recently turned twenty-five. Since he’s asked me, I’ve been watching him.

“If he were married and had a child on the way before he took his father’s place, the Resistants would follow him confidently. Especially if the wife were as healthy as you and the children were promised to be healthy too.

“The mayor’s grandfather was a Foreigner, which already makes their family quite healthy.”

“Roy? He wants me to be his wife?” I ask softly.

Miss Violet smiles. “You really have no idea how desirable you are to men, do you? Then again, that’s what you were designed for, I suppose.”

I purse my lips and nod once. “If I find someone I like, can I request him?” I ask.

“Yes. But if I were you, I wouldn’t. A woman who requests loses her status.”

Miss Violet pauses for a moment.

“There’s another thing, Alexandra. Those Japanese soldiers have denied any desire to be matched with women. Therefore, the time you spend with them is a waste and can lower your status.”

“But they’re my friends,” I say.

“Make more girlfriends. It scares men if all your friends are men. You’ve proven to have many skills. Use some of them. Spend less time with soldiers and more time with other girls.

“Almost all of your requests so far have been from soldiers. Which is good because they are healthy. But you’re healthier.” She purses her lips and coughs.

“I do have a condition, though,” I say.

Miss Violet looks at me curiously. “What is it?”

“Beth. I want to bring her here to live with me. If I do, she'll have a high status, won’t she? My husband—he has to accept her like his own.”

Miss Violet nods once. “I see. I understand. That’s all for today. I’ll discuss this with the mayor and his wife. You can go now.” She dismisses me.

I stand up, nodding. “Thank you,” I say, leaving her office. She coughs in reply.

I make my way back to the main cave slowly, watching the young couples and their children going to work and school. I imagine my life.

The idea of one man, being with him exclusively for the rest of my life, is still foreign to me. But I can understand it, the desire to own someone, to raise children with him or her.

You aren’t lonely because you fight every battle together and share everything. And they will always be there for you when you’re sad or happy.

To be a Perfect is in fact a lonely life. You’re alone among millions. There isn’t one person who will always stand by your side and trust you and help you no matter what.

Except for Beth. Beth was going to be that person for me.

Perhaps that’s what Eric had wanted, someone to share his life with. But we weren’t partners. We weren’t equal.

He craves me. He yearns for me to warm his bed every night, to whisper praises in his ear, to bear his children—little soldiers, Masters, or even sensible mothers-to-be.

I can't help but wonder how long he would have kept me around. Would he have waited until I'd birthed a few children and was worn out? Or would he have discarded me sooner, the moment he found another girl to crave?

I think he wanted me to crave him too. He wanted me to yearn for him as much as he yearned for me. His love was a terrifying thing.

But that was a different life. Now, I have a new life, a future to anticipate in the Resistance.