"Losing isn't an option for us,"
Breakfast the next day was way, way different than the previous morning.
If anyone saw the group of leaders, they would find it hard to believe that just twenty-four hours ago they are all laughing and teasing each other, enjoying life. Sure, the stress of the hunters was there then as well, but they had learned to focus on the good things too. This morning, with the threat of death looming over their heads, it just seemed too far away.
When Ileana came downstairs to join them, she didn't look at any of them. With her eyes cast down, she silently took her seat beside Ryan and ate her food. She was scheduled to leave with all the other pregnant she-wolves along with the older wolves and babies right after breakfast was over.
It was not that Ileana was mad about it. She understood why she had to leave; not just Ryan and her family, but her wolf too wouldn't allow her to risk her unborn child. But it didn't mean that she was okay with it. She was worried out of her mind about her family, the ones she had to leave behind.
As she played around with the food on her plate as her mind continued its assault on her, she didn't notice how Xavier had his eyes set on his sister.
Ileana and Aiden were different from Evelyn and him. They were more emotional, there was more childlike innocence in these two and both Xavier and Evelyn were extremely protective of them.
Just as Ryan kissed Ileana's cheek and went to check how Roy was handling leading the training, Xavier gave a quick squeeze to Selena's hand and got up from his chair. Abandoning, his food, he walked up to where Ileana was sitting only a few feet away. The pack members were already done with their breakfast and were training so it was only them in the dining room.
"Ileana..." Xavier whispered when he was next to her.
"I am not mad at you," she said before Xavier could continue.
"Seems like it though."
She smiled, "I am not. I am worried though." Ileana breathed out, trying hard to hold on to the tear threatening to slide down her cheek, "I just cannot shake off the feeling that this might be the last time that I am seeing you all."
Xavier smiled sadly and placed his hand on her cheek, "You most definitely will. We will win this, and I will personally go there to bring you all back. I swear on my life."
"It's not funny, Xavier!" she said as she pushed him away. Xavier chuckled slightly and pulled her close.
Selena looked away, overwhelmed by the emotions between the siblings and looked at her own brother, who was already looking at her.
'Stay close to me and Xavier at all times. Don't go ahead alone. I know you can take care of yourself. But still, I can't lose you again.'
Selena smiled when she heard Connor's voice in her head.
'I will try, Con,' she whispered. Connor could feel the fear and vulnerability in her voice.
The whole atmosphere was very dark. It was almost painful to live through.
One by one, they all said their goodbyes to Ileana. Ryan too was teary-eyed as he kissed Ileana one final time.
He was living through a nightmare. The thought of having a kid with Ileana was the happiest thing he could imagine. But this was not the situation in which he wanted to bring their child to the world. He could only hope the war would be over and they would come out of it victorious before Ileana gave birth.
By the time their goodbyes were over, Ileana had also taken up the strong front. All of these werewolves she was accompanying were looking up to her to lead them through this time. She had to be strong and take care of these people.
A whole group of a dozen of warriors and the witch from their allied pack, The Blood Moon, came to the Ferocious Shadows to escort the assigned werewolves safely. Even though they would be travelling by a portal created by Lorcan, Selena and the other witch, named Visha, they still brought the warriors just in case.
In order to not dwell in the tense moment, everybody spent a significant amount of time after the departure training themselves for the upcoming fight.
While Selena and Connor were doing a duel, Xavier and Aiden found themselves beside each other.
"I have a bad feeling," Aiden said all of a sudden.
"Why?" Xavier asked.
"I can't explain, but I have this feeling," Aiden replied, making Xavier nod.
"Even with our powers, we can get rid of the rogues and maybe manipulate the humans but they just hold so much power. Do you really think we can fight them off? Is Selena really ready to do this on the battlefield, against those people who tortured her in so many ways?" Aiden whispered. "I have just found my mate," his eyes shifted to Jayce, who was training with Seth, Evelyn helping them, "What if I lose him during the battle? What if I live and he dies?"
"Hey," Xavier put a hand on Aiden's knee, making the man turn to look at his older brother, "There are so many things with which we can increase our anxiety. Let's not do that though..."
"Easy for you to say," Aiden shook his head, "You have had your mate for quite some time."
"I did," Xavier nodded, his hand slightly tightening on Aiden's knee as he looked at Selena. He couldn't help but wonder how beautiful she looked while training, like a warrior, a goddess. "And most of that time, I spent hurting her in more ways than I could have ever imagined. So in that case, I will say that you have the upper hand on me, brother."
Aiden looked at Xavier guiltily making the man smile, "I didn't mean that, I am sorry."
Xavier waved his hand to brush it off as he continued speaking, "It's not that, Aiden. I know how scary it is. And honestly, I wish mom and dad were here to help us with this all. But I am also glad that they are not. They can still take care of what would be left of our pack if we lose."
"You think anybody will survive it if we lose?" Aiden asked with surprise. That seemed like such a far-fetched idea.
"Wishful thinking maybe," Xavier said thoughtfully, "But it gives me some relief to imagine that at least a few, if not all, will be able to run away and at least stay alive, even if not with this pack."
Aiden looked away from his brother and back where the pack warriors were just left. He heard the ruffling of the leaves in the wind before he heard the sound of his mate's laughter and his eyes found Jayce again.
Seth seemed to have said something funny as he beamed proudly while both Jayce and Evelyn seemed unable to stop their laughter.
"He's a good kid."
"Huh?"
Xavier scoffed with a smile, "He still sometimes leaves his mind link open to me when he is too happy. Like right now. He is beaming because he feels proud that he could make Jayce laugh, that he could take the man's mind off Nic's departure."
Aiden smiled, looking at the party. He knew Xavier had a weak spot for Seth out of all the warriors. The guy was just so innocent, very much unlike the other warrior wolves. But he was stronger than most.
A heart of gold with a body of steel, as Aiden liked to say.
"We are the strongest pack, then why do we feel so powerless?"
Xavier took a deep breath. Taking his eyes off his mate, he looked at his brother again, "We are the leaders of this pack. These warriors," he pointed towards the others fighting a few feet away from them, "They are looking up to us to be their support. We can't feel helpless, Aiden. Look at us, we have trained, we have a plan, I am sure that we will win. So let's not give them more advantage by doubting ourselves, okay?"
"You're right," Aiden sighed, "I am gonna go take a shower."
Xavier patted Aiden's back and while Aiden was stepping away from the field, he made sure to pull his mate with him as well, making Xavier chuckle and Evelyn object.
"Hey!" She screamed.
"Go train with your own mate. Let me have my man," Aiden replied, making Seth chuckle as he witnessed the scene.
Evelyn narrowed her eyes, placed her hands on her hips and huffed. She turned to look around and her eyes fell on Connor. With an evil glint in her eyes, she slowly stepped towards the oblivious siblings training. Xavier chuckled with amusement as he just sat there observing the scene. These little moments with his family is what makes him cherish his life.
Selena and Connor were so engrossed in the fight that they didn't notice her stalking towards them at all, especially Selena.
Just when Evelyn was going to jump on Connor, he turned around and smirked at her, "What are you up to?"
Evelyn too responded with a smirk, "Why don't I show you, handsome?"
Connor had already picked her up when she finished her sentence and was walking back towards the packhouse with a mock salute to his sister.
"Hey! What the hell!" Selena shouted back.
Evelyn turned to look at her with that smirk still on her face, "Go train with your own mate. Let me have my man."
Selena threw her hands up, "Unbelievable!"
Evelyn stuck out her tongue at Selena making the latter roll her eyes. Seth had left too after this scene and Selena walked to where Xavier was with a small pout on her face, "She stole my sparring partner."
She plopped down beside Xavier who instantly wrapped his hands around her waist, pulling her closer against him.
"Can you blame them for wanting to cherish these last few moments before the war with their mates? Nobody knows what will happen in two days..."
Selena turned her head to look at Xavier. She observed how his beard had grown slightly longer now than the trimmed look he maintained. He had been too busy for self-grooming.
Selena Selena let a small smile take over her face. Xavier was still looking away, giving her the time to actually look at her mate.
She never had thought in this manner, but she was glad that Xavier was her mate, even with everything that had happened between them. There was not a single day where she wished for someone else as her mate, not really anyway.
"I know that things might change drastically after a few days," she whispered.
Xavier looked at Selena. With the sun rays over her skin, her hair was glowing as a few locks of hair danced in the wind. He straightened and used his other hand to push a lock of hair away from her eyes.
Selena closed her eyes, enjoying the touch of Xavier.
"One thing, Xavier Martinez, that will never change, is that I love you," Selena's lips curled up slightly and Xavier too smiled, "I am in love with you, and I always will be. No matter what happens," her eyes watered, "You are the one for me."
This feeling that these two felt... after everything they went through, they didn't know such strong emotions were possible.
Not everyone fell in love with their mates, for some of them, it was just the sense of protectiveness towards that person. The wolf always loved the mate, but it wasn't absolutely necessary for the human parts. The humans could be lovers or best friends. For very few people did the mate bond lead to love. Everyone expected to find love in their mate, but not everyone got it.
Xavier breathed out shakily and placed his free hand behind her neck protectively. With their foreheads now touching, "I love you, Selena. I cannot even explain how much. I am..." he chuckled awkwardly, "I am not that good with words, but I hope you know what I mean."
"I know, Xav," she answered and kissed him. That kiss was both of them expressing themselves without any restrictions. The kiss intensified pretty soon and both of them had soon shifted to their room. After taking a shower, and a very intense session of making out, and making love, they found themselves naked, tangled in the bedsheet and in each other's arms.
"I'm scared, Xavier," Selena said suddenly as she sat up leaning against the headboard, Xavier too sat up, "I am scared that this is the end for all of us, most of all, I am terrified that I am leading another pack to its end."
"That's not it," Xavier shook his head as Selena looked at his worried eyes. She didn't look convinced and Xavier noticed it. He adjusted their positions so that Selena was now almost sitting on his lap. "This is not the end," he said, "We fight, we win, we stop them."
Selena nodded, "We have to. Losing isn't an option for us."
Xavier too responded by nodding, "Get some rest, Sel. It'll be a long few days.
She shook her head, "I have a meeting with a few warriors that I will be taking to the hunters' den, discuss the routes and where everything is. There's no time to rest."
She looked thoughtful and Xavier still wasn't convinced. "You can do that later."
"Promise me you won't die," Selena said completely ignoring what Xavier said, "I know that it is not going to be easy. But I need you to promise me that if it gets to it, you will save your own life."
"You really think that is something I will do?" he asked.
"Xavier, please," she whispered as a tear escaped her eyes, she sounded desperate. Xavier was shocked, he had never seen her like this. Selena noticed his silence and continued. "I know how ruthless and disgusting these guys can be. I can't see them kill another one of my loved ones. Please..."
"Then we don't let them. If they can be ruthless just for fun, let us show them who we are when we protect the ones we love... okay?" Xavier said. He wiped away the tear stain and left his hand there on her cheek.
Selena sighed, knowing this was the best that she was getting from him, and nodded his head.
"You know, Selena?" I started; she sniffled and pulled back a little before looking at me. "The first time that I saw you, my first thought was that this is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen walking on earth. With your teary face covered in dirt, the only light from the moonlight landing straight on your face, it was like it was the way of the Moon Goddess to show me what she blessed me with. That night when you asked me if I would reject you, I thought, 'Is she crazy? Why would she think that?' You had no idea how important you had become to me on that very first night. You had me wrapped around your fingers. I would have done anything for you and I still will. I was stupid, idiot, jerk, and a lot more of a dumbass to have treated you the way I did. It was so stupid. That is the one thing I will regret every minute, every second that I breathe. Even if you say you have forgiven me, I don't think I have yet, or I can. I feel that I don't deserve your forgiveness, I don't deserve you. But you gave me the chance that no one else would have. And I am selfish enough to grasp onto it as strongly as I can. I know I need a long, long time to prove to you that I am sorry, and I love you. So I promise you, these guys will pay, and we will be alive to see their ends, all of us, I promise you that."
Xavierclosed his arms around her in an embrace and they stayed like that right there until the stress finally caught onto them both and they drifted off tosleep.