Long Chapter Alert!!
Also, I just wanted to thank you all for giving this book a chance... It really means a lot to me! â¤ï¸â¤ï¸
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"I wish I could hate you"
The heat for Selena lasted for four days. Generally, it was for two days only, so the three pack members, one of which was Ileana, had no idea why it lasted four days. However, Selena herself looked so confused that they didn't ask her anything.
It was the end of the third week now. It has been a few days since her heat was over and this time, Selena didn't let Stacy beat her around anymore. Selena made sure that she got enough food for the past few days. She helped around in making the food and cleaning too since after her heat she wasn't made to do everything. But she subtly escaped the scenes whenever she felt like she was being taken advantage of.
One more thing that Selena also made sure to do, was to train secretly.
The day Selena had woken up after the heat, she couldn't deal with the terrifying fear she felt when she couldn't fight off Scott. She had thought that wouldn't have happened if she would have trained and had food in her system.
Selena was sitting on the bed, a little frown on her face, thinking back to what the hell happened. She couldn't fight back Scott? Really? He wasn't that strong. She hadn't considered the fact at all that the heat had considerably weakened her too.
So this time, when Ileana brought her food, she ate it, she did all the works she had and also found time to train. She was blinded, her love for her mate blinded her, yes love. Otherwise, why would she be so heartbroken over him?
She was still not giving up on her soul-mate, but she wasn't gonna completely give herself up for this either.
Selena was contemplating all these while she was cleaning some dishes in the kitchen. Stacy's friends were there, and to shut out their gossips, Selena kept focusing on Izzy. She kept on calling to her wolf and even though Izzy was conscious, she didn't respond.
Selena sighed once she realised that Izzy wouldn't respond. Maybe she was still angry, she thought.
Just as she was about to call Izzy again, the door opened and in came Stacy. She sat with her friends and didn't pay a single glance to Selena.
"Like really, I couldn't sleep the whole time last night. They really need to have quiet sex."
"If I was in that couple's place, I wouldn't have agreed with you. Grayson's moans are the only thing that turns me on the most."
"Stacy, why are you so quiet?" one of them voiced. Selena wanted to scoff but she didn't want to provoke her.
"I might lose the position of the Luna and I can't think of anything about how to keep it. Xavier is not listening to anything I have to say for the last week because of the bitch right here."
Selena felt them all looking at her venomously. But decided to ignore them and continue with her work.
"But why?"
"He is going to some other pack, the pack wanted to join with this pack and they proposed the idea of Xavier mating with the daughter of the alpha of that pack. Xavier is leaving tomorrow to visit them before making his decision. I don't know what to do anymore and....."
This is where Selena zoned out of the conversation and her hands froze. Xavier agreed to mark someone else? After everything she had been doing for him for these last weeks, this is what she gets back?!
A growl reverberated in her head and Selena gasped. Izzy was back.
'Took you long enough...'
'Hey, human, sorry I took so long.'
'You left me to suffer alone, again,' Selena whispered sadly.
'I was just trying to reduce your pain,' Izzy countered in the same low voice.
'What?'
'After the last time, it became harder to close off my pain from you. If I hadn't done that, along with the heartache, you would have felt the shattering of the heart of the wolf as well. I couldn't let that happen to you, not again, you're my human, I would do anything I can to protect you.' Izzy said protectively.
'I love you, Izzy.'
'Nothing I didn't already know. You know I love you too. On a different note, wolves are very proud animals you know that right?'
'Did you forget that I'm a part of you too?' Selena chuckled.
Izzy continued, 'We played it your way for nearly one whole month, Sel. Now he is considering mating someone else. He is my destined male; I love him a lot too. But I too have alpha blood in me. I cannot let him disrespect me any more than I already have. Let's show him what he is losing now.'
Selena stayed quiet for a while, she still wasn't sure, 'What if it gets worse?'
'Can it really get any worse?'
Selena knew Izzy was right. She had nothing to lose now. There is still the fear of being a rogue but something told her that that wouldn't happen. So she decided to go with her gut. There is no post below an omega and the pack cannot treat her any worse than they already do. After weighing the pros and cons Selena had finally made her decision.
'Let's do this, Izzy.'
Izzy took a deep breath, 'Let's do this, Sel.'
Selena turned the tap off, took off her gloves and started in the direction of the alpha's office. He has something new coming on his way now.
She opened the door to his office open and went up to his table. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Selena, what are you doing here?" he asked surprised.
Xavier too wasn't in a great mood. He had his beta in the room with him and they were just talking about everything they knew. Xavier couldn't find anything that would help him trust his mate and yet, his wolf told him to trust her. Something was missing but nobody knew what it was. Even the beta didn't know what to say to Xavier.
Selena had caught him in another one of his bad moments. He was angry, about the situations that they were facing, about him not being able to find strong enough evidence to defend his mate and also, about how he had allowed himself to treat her. But Selena had also had enough, she was also not gonna back down.
"I don't need permission. I am your mate, not just some pack member. I am your equal," She said stubbornly as she stood her ground.
Zion's chest inflated with pride as he saw his mate standing up for herself. He was never in favour of his human taking such drastic steps but Xavier was angry then and he wasn't ready to listen.
"Did you hear that?" she said when Xavier didn't reply, "I am your mate. The same she-wolf whom you punished and abandoned and now you're going to make another she-wolf your Luna?!"
Both the men in the room furrowed their eyebrows because that was news to them too. Xavier was about to go to the Blood Moon Pack, but it was to discuss the hunter problem. He wondered from where the mating rumour came up.
Xavier wasn't sure whether he was going to stick by the ruse of not believing her or he wanted to come clean about everything. A single glance at Ryan told that his beta also didn't know what the right course of action will be.
"I got proof, video proof, that you were a traitor." Selena's stilled again at the mention of that but there was no sign of backing down in her, "I still believed in you. I was out there all these days trying to look for proof so that I could defend you. So that I could take your stand and say with subsequent proof that you are not a traitor, you didn't cause the downfall of your own pack. I did whatever I could to make sure that I could protect you."
"Protect me?" Selena asked loudly and mockingly as she pointed at herself.
"Yes! And you know what? So what if I am going to the Black Moon pack to choose a Luna? I found no proof in your favour. I am so close to stop believing your side. My pack needs a Luna. I cannot abandon them for the she-wolf who betrayed them!" Xavier answered equally loudly.
Selena stared at him. A second passed, then two, and she finally began to laugh, at herself, her fate, her stubborn and oh so blind with rage and betrayal mate, and also, the thing her life was becoming.
"Do you hear what you're saying, Alpha?" Xavier didn't miss her mocking tone and his eyes grew harder, he didn't know why he said that. Zion was quiet too, he didn't agree with the way Xavier behaved at first, but everything he did after that one moment of rage was to mend things between them.
Was that one moment enough to bring this much distance between them?
Selena continued, "You got a video, handed to you from your dear friend, and you blindly believed it. You punished me, your own mate, for something I didn't do. The anger was so consuming that you demoted me, the worst known punishment in the history of werewolves for an alpha."
Ryan's eyes grew softer and he stared at the scene in front of him. Selena continued as Xavier still stood silently.
"Shouldn't you have given me some time to prove myself? You didn't even listen to what I had to say. You said you don't trust me. You trusted a stupid video brought to you by none other than Stacy, you believed that bitch, who by the way, I am pretty sure is stupidly trying to listen to our conversation from outside your sound-proof office. You humiliated me. You could have just held me as a prisoner, you knew that I am of alpha blood, and you demoted me just so that you could make me feel humiliated, your own fucking mate. How could you?"
The whole room was silent. Soul mates, in the werewolf culture, were a gift of God to the werewolves, treating a mate so poorly is basically disrespecting the Goddess. It was uncalled for. Every other werewolf had given their mate the benefit of doubt. Xavier, unfortunately, didn't. The room was scarily silent but when Selena spoke next, both the men gasped in surprise, "You think I didn't feel Stacy touching you?
Xavier's eyes widened as he stood him, his hands remained limply by his side.
Selena smiled. She shook her head and scoffed, "Yeah before you go defending yourself, I know you didn't sleep together. She-wolves can feel when someone touches their mate with a sexual intention. I am sure you guys didn't know this." She smirked, "I felt it, her hands on your chest and thighs, my skin burnt in those places like it was on fire."
Ryan looked at the floor in shame. He wished he wasn't there while they were having this conversation. He just stood there quietly, moving would have gotten him the attention he didn't want.
"I kept on trying Xavier," She whispered, "I was beaten by your pack members. You are the alpha, right? You know everything that happens here even if you are in a different part of the world, right? Well, then I believe you knew about this too. And you let this happen. Do you remember the way you looked at me that day?"
Xavier remained quiet.
"Do you have any idea what that did to me? From my own mate? I didn't eat, I let them do whatever they wanted to do to me because I wanted to make you see that I am on your side. I let them starve me, I let them push me around. My wolf wanted to leave."
Until now Xavier was just shocked, this is when he started feeling scared.
"Izzy wanted to leave, she wanted nothing to do with you. She kept on saying that she couldn't handle the humiliation, she's an alpha, she did nothing to get her pride walked on like this."
She took a breath and she chuckled with her hands now on her hips, "It was so naïve of me, to think that you will understand," she scoffed, "I was on cloud on nine here, but then I fell, I fell hard and fast and I hit the floor. I let you push me down. And you just looked down at me from above, coldly. I allowed myself to be in a situation that got me days of only humiliation, and I let it happen for you. I don't think I can ever forgive myself for that."
No one moved.
"You knew I was taken by the hunters. You knew they kept me chained with silver and continuously injected me with Wolfsbane that resulted in a change in my personality. I became this weaker version of myself, a complete opposite of what I was," She said the word 'weaker' filled with disgust, as an alpha, you weren't supposed to have a weak personality if you want the wolves to respect you.
"Scott tried to rape me," She breathed, there was no stopping here right then, "He tried to rape your mate. Did you talk to him about it? He's a friend of Stacy right? I am pretty sure he is somewhere around roaming around perfectly fine and free."
She stood right in front of him now, taking deep breaths trying to calm herself down. Izzy was a bit surprised because this side of her personality had been non-existent since her kidnapping, but she was happy to finally have her back. It was finally time for her to be who she was again, as a person. The alpha blood was making its presence known after a long time now.
Xavier wanted to tell her what had happened to Scott as a result of his actions. But she was sure that she knew his outcome, why bother to change it? Hurt and anger was never a nice combination for Xavier. He loses his cool way too quickly and then he says and does stuff he regrets later.
"Well, you have no reason to worry about Scott. Worry about yourself. You have nothing to prove your innocence." Selena just rolled her eyes and chuckled and that enraged him more.
Whatever Selena said, wouldn't leave his mind. He so wanted to tell that that nothing happened with Stacy, he pushed her off, he only wants Selena, but then the note resurfaced in his mind. Apparently, she was with Leon, right?
"Where you actually tortured Selena?" he asked suddenly, her smile dropped and she stared at him blankly, "I mean, you came in with injuries but was it all a part of the ruse? To get us to trust you?" The very next second Xavier thought how pointless his point was. Why would she come in bruised like that if Leon was in love with her? However, he couldn't voice that thought. He was blindsided, by the punch he received on his jaw.
His head snapped to the side and he stumbled back a step to see Selena staring at him with rage and pain.
The sound of the punch reverberated in the room and Selena saw Ryan take a step forward. Xavier looked at Selena. His eyes held rage, that was his pride being hurt, but he didn't say a word. His expression changed to hurt and disgust when he realised what he just said.
Selena kept her face stoic but he didn't say a word. Her face turned pale and her body started to shake.
"Selena, I didn't mean...." Xavier began but the damage was already done.
"No. No, you meant every word of what you just said." She growled. The urge to just turn around and run away from here was overwhelming now. It was turning out to be too much.
Did he seriously not believe that she was taken by the hunters? Did he really not believe the marks that the silver knife left behind?
"I can't believe the emotions I felt for you, Xavier. And I can't believe that even after everything you did or said to me, a part of me will still love you the same."
Izzy was whimpering. Selena's heart was crying out for her wolf. What did she ever do to deserve this?
"Selena.... "
"Nearly one whole month, I kept on trying to prove to you that you can trust me, that I'm not the traitor here. I wish I could hate you, Xavier, I wish..." she shook her head and ran out of the room without paying attention to the group of girls outside the door. Stacy, who was leading the group, came tumbling into the room as she opened the door. Normally Selena would have stopped to laugh at this but at that moment she was too damaged to care. As soon as she was out of the building she tried shifting into her wolf.
Tried was the keyword here. It was unheard of that a wolf hadn't shifted for a month. For a wolf, it was important that they shifted every day, otherwise, the shift after a long wait can be excruciatingly painful. Selena was just about to discover how painful.
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Phew, I actually had a lot of fun writing this one. Please let me know in the comments what you guys think about this chapter and remember to hit the Vote Button if you liked it. â¤ï¸