i am afraid
i told you once:
i am not who i was
two, three years ago.
although i have grown,
there are days
when i am who i was...
a person of doubt
and hopelessness.
a pessimist
wanting to discard a dream,
because in the moment,
i am allowing
my thoughts to run free
and get the best of me.
you could not know this part of me.
i am causing you to doubt as well now.
i assure you yet again:
i want what you want.
we will figure it out.
but you don't know
i still doubt.
but please! understand:
this matters so much to me.
you matter so much.
i sometimes wonder if
you mean too much
for someone
i have only known for
a couple of years now.
i don't know.
it is one of those days
and nights when
i believe
i am in love with someone
who could not love me.
i am as much of a lost cause
as you are.
but this is that part of me thinking.
you are not
a lost cause, my dear.
i am just struggling
with myself, as i always do.
when i say
it is me, not you...
you have to believe me.
i have not lied to you.
not once.
and i do not intend
on starting now.
i hope you would not
lie to me either.
because i need to know,
if i should go on loving you
the way i do.
hell,
i don't even know
if you love me.
have i found this
on a one-way street?
have i been right all along?
am i falling for a dream?
i know you like me.
i know what you think of me.
but do you love me?
could you be a man
and love me the way i love you?
could we love each other
the way we are meant to?
baby,
i don't just want this reunion.
i need it.
i told you:
i think i would die
a little everyday
if things remain left unsaid.
i could not live in peace
if you became
the one who got away.
if i give up tonight
like i have wanted to
all those other nights
(for no real, good reason)
i could not say
life is so good.
you don't understand.
i anticipate
the million tomorrows,
because you have been
in all my todays.