Alessa's POV
"I'm in love" I said to Maya while we're eating in the pastry shop where Ginger is working.
"Oh, and who's the lucky guy? Is he popular? Is it Richard? Oh my God!" she squealed in excitement.
"No! He's not," I'm hesitating if I'm going tell her the truth or not. I'm so nervous right now but I need someone to talk to about my feelings.
I'm in love with Ginger. I just realized it the night of the incident where I almost kissed her lips. I'm skeptical at first, but as time passed by, my feelings for her grew stronger. I know that it's not just a platonic love, I love her in a romantic way.
I want her to be mine and I've never felt this strong need for anyone. She's the first person that made me feel this way and I don't know how I am going to act on it.
"I'm in love with Ginger," I blurted with my eyes closed so I don't have to see her reaction.
"Huh? That waitress?" She asked with a frown while pointing her finger to Ginger's direction. I slapped her arm to stop her from pointing her finger.
"Shut up Maya! Tone down your voice!" I rebuked her when I noticed that some of the customers were already looking at us.
"Since when did you become a lesbian? And you're in love with a poor girl, that's not a good idea" she shook her head afterwards.
"I'm not a lesbian! I'm bisexual I guess. I still like boys and it's only the first time that I've fallen for a girl. Stop judging her just because she's poor" I corrected her.
I released a heavy sigh before glancing in her direction. She's the cashier today and the shop is busy. I rolled my eyes at her when she scoffed after hearing what I said.
"Maybe you don't care, but your parents will. It's already a bad thing that she's a girl, now add the fact that she's poor." she explained before taking a piece of her cake.
"You know your parents more than me, Alessa. I'm already imagining Aunt Feliz's reaction once she finds out about it" she added afterwards.
I shrugged my shoulders in frustration because she's right about my parents. They're not fond of poor people. They'll probably accept if I tell them that I'm in love with a girl, but only if she's rich. The fact that Ginger is poor is gonna be a major problem.
"Well, I'm not even sure if she feels the same way. I mean she's straight and I don't want to ruin our friendship," I rested my head on the wall afterwards while still observing Ginger. She's now collecting orders from a customer.
God she's really beautiful with her pink apron on. Just watching her makes me happy already.
"You know what? You're boring," Maya snapped at me.
"What are you saying?" I asked confused.
"You love her right? Then tell her how you feel instead of being a chicken. If she doesn't feel the same way then accept it. It's better that you tried than regret not telling her forever," I smiled upon hearing her preach. I'm glad that I talked to her about it.
"You're right, but I don't know how I'm going to confess to her. You know clearly that it's the first time that I fell in love with a girl, my ex-boyfriend's initiated everything."
"Just tell her that you love her, that's it. You both act more than friends anyway. It's obvious by the way you treat her, minus the sex and extra intimacy of course," she replied with a smirk on her face. I immediately blushed upon realizing what she just said.
I always drive her to school and wait for her till her shift is done. Just like today, I'm going to wait for her because we're going to watch the G.I Joe movie. The most intimate thing that we've done so far is kiss each others cheeks, which is very boring. How I wish I could kiss her soft lips and every part of her until I make her moan.
Okay, I'm getting too pervert. Shut up self! I scolded myself mentally.
"But what do you think? Can you tell if she likes me too?" I asked after a while.
"Of course she does and I bet she loves you too, everyone does Alessa. The question is, does she love you the way I do? or she loves you the way you do?" She's really awesome when it comes to giving advice. I love Maya as a best friend of course and I bet Ginger feel the same.
I released a heavy sigh once again. I haven't confessed yet but I feel like I'm going to be rejected. I really have the feeling that she doesn't see me the same way.
"Did she use to have a boyfriend before?" She inquired curiously. Pulling me away from my depressing thoughts.
"No, no boyfriend since birth but she has lots of suitors. I'm really jealous about it but I can't tell her that" I replied hastily.
"Oh! Then maybe you have a chance, maybe she's into girls too. Don't worry yourself too much. You're still young so you can spend your whole life making her fall for you. That is if she rejects you," she winked at me afterwards.
How encouraging.
"Thank you Maya. I'll see if I can confess to her today," I'm not really sure if I can but I'll try my best to bring it up later.
"No problem, I have to go because I have an appointment to my derma today. Good luck" she winked before standing up and left without finishing her cake.
I glanced in Ginger's direction again. I waved at her when she saw me. She smiled and waved back as well. I'm really nervous, I don't know how and what are the words to use in confessions.
She finished her shift after an hour. It's Saturday today so she doesn't have classes. I'm still thinking of ways on how to tell her about my feelings that I didn't notice that she's already approaching.
"Hey daydreamer, are you ready?" she said cheerfully while waving her hand in front of my face to get my attention. She's really a happy person when you get to know her.
I stood up immediately. I can't help not to admire her even if she's just wearing a simple black shirt and tattered jeans. She blushed when she noticed that I'm gazing at her for too long. I like it when she blushes because it makes me want to hug her.
"Yep! I'm more than ready. Let's go" I reached for her hand and then I led her out of the shop.
We arrived at the cinema exactly on time. We bought a bucket sized white cheddar cheese flavored popcorn and a large coke. We always share food and I am doing it on purpose because we're only using one straw. It's nothing for her, but it's an indirect kiss for me.
I make sure to treat her to a movie at least twice a month, because I know that she loves it and it makes her happy.
The movie is already starting when we entered so it's very dark and there are only several people watching. I grinned because it is the opportunity that I'm waiting for.
We decided to sit on the farthest upper area so that no one can see what we're doing, in case she accept my feelings, I swear I'm going to kiss her until we ran out of breath.
She's too immersed in watching so I took advantage of it and simply put my left arm on her back and rested it on her waist. I waited for a few minutes if she's gonna complain but she didn't. It seems she's okay with it so I reached for her right hand and entwined it with mine.
I smiled when her attention turned to mine. The cinema is so cold but my nervousness is making me sweat. I sighed in relief afterwards when she just smiled at me and she returned her focus back to the movie again.
I can't concentrate with the movie because my mind is bugging me. The feeling of her body and fingers against mine is turning me on, plus her breast is touching mine because we're so close to each other.
Stop being a pervert Alessa and tell her already! I shook my head and then I breathed three times to build up my courage.
"Gin" I whispered.
"Yes?" she replied without removing her attention on the movie.
"Uh... Are you happy when you're with me?" I asked nervously. That's when she turned her attention to me.
"Yes! Of course. I'm always happy when I'm with you," She replied sweetly and it made me smile. I'm going to ask her some questions first before I confess.
"Do you like me?" My question made her frown, but she's still smiling.
"I like you more than anyone else in the world. Well, aside from my mom" she joked and it made me chuckle lightly. That's a positive response for me.
I guess this is the right time to tell her. I'm about to respond to her when she spoke again.
"You're my best friend, my one and only"
Hearing the words she just said made my whole world fall apart. I can't confess to her now, I don't want to be rejected and I don't know what I'm going to do if she starts avoiding me because of it.
"Are you alright? You looked troubled." She asked anxiously.
"I'm fine, don't worry" I replied after faking a smile.
I kissed her forehead afterwards and then I focused myself on watching the movie. I guess I'll have to stick to just being friends, it might be better that way.
â¥
It's been two weeks since I tried confessing to Ginger. We're still acting like nothing happened since she doesn't have an idea that she friend zoned me. I really want her to be mine but I don't know what to do and it's making me crazy.
It's raining today and it's already four in the afternoon so I decided to call her to inform that I'm gonna pick her up a bit late because I'm stuck in the student council meeting.
I'm so in love with her that hearing her voice makes me happy already. I can't wait to see her, I miss her even though we see each other everyday. It's a good thing that her class is suspended today because of the typhoon. I smiled when she immediately answered my call.
"Hey, I'll be there before six pm. Will you be alright with that? I promise it won't be later than that" I said apologetically.
"It's okay, I'll wait for you. Marcus is absent today so I'm covering his shift" She explained. I can hear the people chatting in the background.
"Okay, can I spend the night again in your house?" I've been a bit pushy these past few days about being with her. I want her to notice my feelings but the sad thing is that she seems oblivious about it.
"If it's okay with you to sleep on our shabby bed then you're very welcome" she responded after a few seconds of silence. I sensed the hesitation on her voice. I rolled my eyes though she can't see me.
"Geez! It's okay as long as we can sleep on it. I miss you already and I can't wait to see you later," I blurted in excitement. I covered my mouth immediately when I realized what I just said.
What the heck, Alessa! I slapped my forehead in embarrassment while waiting for her response. I'm hoping that she doesn't take what I said seriously.
"I...I... me too," she replied stuttering after a long pause.
I smiled in victory upon hearing her response. I'm about to speak again when the vice president called my attention to tell me that our meeting will start in a minute.
"I have to go Gin. I'll see you soon, message me if there's anything important," I informed her before ending the call.
The meeting is boring because it's the same topic all over again. If only I can ditch it and be with Ginger, I'll do it right away. That's the thing that I won't get tired of doing over and over again.
I started to feel worried when it has been an hour already since our call and she hasn't texted me back yet. I flinched when we heard a sudden loud thunder. I tried calling Ginger afterwards because I know that she's afraid of it.
"What's wrong with your phone?" I mumbled upon learning that she is out of reach.
I texted her for the 5th time but there was no response. I need to go to the shop and I can't wait for the meeting to end. She's more important to me.
"Where are you going Miss Mendez?" Our president asked when I stood up.
"It's an emergency" I replied before storming off the student council office.
"I hope nothing bad happened to her," I muttered before running to my car as fast as I can, ignoring the heavy rain.
I parked my car near the entrance when I arrived at the shop. I was about to enter but I stopped when I saw her with someone else. She's laughing so loud that I can hear it from outside. The boy with her is handsome, but I don't know him. I've been eating in the pastry shop for a long time now but I never saw him before.
I felt a pang of jealousy so I opened the front door loud enough to make them notice me. They're both surprised by what I did. If looks could kill, they're gonna be dead right now. Ginger stood up from her seat immediately and then she walked closer to me.
"Lessa! What happened to you? You're soaked," she's about to touch me but I moved away.
"I thought you're alone and scared so I drove here fast. I guess I'm wrong because you looked so happy," I replied while glaring to the boy that's been smiling at me.
"Lessa Iâ" I didn't let her finish.
"I'm going to wait in the car until you're finished with your business" I said sternly before stepping out of the shop.
"Lessa! Use my umbrella," She called after me but I ignored her.
I'm counting every minute while waiting for her to finish and it took her almost ten minutes. She immediately took out the towel from her bag as soon as she got seated. She then started drying my hair.
"You should've at least brought your umbrella since you have a car. Let's hope you don't catch a cold tomorrow," she said with a bit of upset on her tone.
"I'm so worried about you because you're not replying to my messages. I tried calling you but you're out of reach so what do you expect me to do? Take my time to get an umbrella?" I replied sarcastically which took her by surprise.
I never acted that way towards her before but I can't control myself not to because I'm pissed off of what I saw earlier. It's the first time that she made me feel so annoyed.
"I'm sorry. I bumped into a customer earlier and my phone crashed to the floor. It's so bad that the phone is no longer opening" she explained before showing it to me. The screen indeed is fully cracked.
I felt guilty afterwards and was about to apologize when I remembered the boy that she's laughing with earlier.
"Who's that boy with you?" I asked before starting the car.
"Oh! That's Harry, he's the owner's son," she replied shyly while fumbling with the towel that she's holding.
"I never saw him before. Also, it seems like you two are close," I commented while trying my best to hide my jealousy.
"He's studying abroad and he's just on vacation here because it's their term break. He helped me out the whole day since Marcus is on leave," it's the first time that I saw her speak about someone excitedly. She's even blushing and I hate the sight of it.
"Do you like him?" Her eyes widened in surprise by my sudden question. I'm grasping the steering wheel so hard right now.
"No! I just appreciate his kindness," she replied hastily. We've been so close for months now that I can tell with her facial expression if she's lying or nervous.
"Whatever," I said before stepping hard on the revolution.
I'm driving fast and I don't respond to her every time she starts a conversation. I'm still upset and I'm not in the mood to talk to her.
"Stop the car I'm getting out," she said sternly after a while. She's now upset but I don't care because the feeling is mutual.
"Stop the car or I'll jump out of here, try me Alessa Mendez" she's glaring at me while holding the door handle. She looked so serious, as much as I want to be stubborn I can't because I don't want her to get hurt. So I groaned in surrender as I stopped the car.
"What's your problem?" I asked irritably.
She didn't respond and started crying instead. My face softened immediately, I don't want to see her cry when I should be the one crying right now.
"I'm sorry" I caressed her shoulder afterwards to calm her down.
"Why are you mad at me? " She asked between sobbing. I averted my gaze to the front and sighed heavily.
"I'm just jealous, that's all,"
"Jealous of what?" She's cute when she's talking while crying.
"I'm jealous of Harry, it's obvious that you like him" I didn't hide the hurt in my voice. She reached for my hand and squeezed it gently.
"He will be staying here for just a few weeks so it doesn't matter if I like him or not, and besides we're always together so there's no need for you to be jealous. You're my one and only best friend" she explained smiling.
I snatched my hand away from her grasp and I groaned in frustration. She's really naive, she didn't get what I meant about being jealous. I don't have a choice but to tell her now because I don't want Harry to steal her away from me.
"You don't get it do you? I don't wanna be your best friend anymore!"
"What do you mean? Why Lessa, why do you hate me? I'm sorry if I did something wrong that upsets you. Please I don't want to lose our friendship" she panicked and started crying again.
I groaned in annoyance because her being so slow is getting on my nerves. I shook my head before I decided to kiss her lips. Her body tensed up immediately but she didn't push me away. I broke the kiss after a few seconds and gazed at her intently.
"I love you, I'm jealous because I want you for myself and I don't want you hanging out with someone else aside from me. Why can't you see that?" I said while gazing at the front.
She's taken aback by my sudden confession and I can't blame her for that. I released a heavy sigh before I started the engine again. She's glancing at me once in a while but she's not saying anything. I'm not asking for her response immediately, I just want her to know that I love her.
Our travel is filled with silence, I don't want to talk either. I'm going to tell her to forget what I said and did earlier as soon as we get to her house. It's pretty obvious that she doesn't feel the same way.
She got out of the car as soon as we arrived without saying anything so it made me lose interest in spending the night with her. I shrugged my shoulders and was about to start the engine again when her mom knocked on my window.
"Alessa, why are you leaving? Ginger told me that you will be spending the night here." She asked with a frown on her face.
I don't think that's a good idea. I replied mentally.
She opened the door of my car before I could refuse. She then gave me a tight hug and a kiss on my right cheek. She's really sweet.
"You're soaking wet. Why did you walk in the rain? Also, is there something wrong between you and Ginger?" she asked curiously.
"It's just a simple misunderstanding, mom. I rushed to the shop to pick her up and I forgot to get my umbrella" I replied while wiping myself with the towel that she gave to me.
"Go to the room and borrow clothes from her. I don't want you getting sick," She instructed.
I nodded in understanding before I went to their room. I sat on the edge of the bed while still drying my hair. The room is small but it's enough for two people. Ginger suddenly entered the room and was startled to see me.
I felt offended when she covered her breast immediately. I rolled my eyes at her before turning around.
"Lend me your clothes. I'm just going to change and then go home" I said without hiding the hurt in my voice.
"It's still raining. I thought you want to spend the night here?" She replied in a low voice. I turned around to face her again, she's now with her clothes on.
"Oh! That's a good idea!" I said sarcastically.
"I don't want you feeling awkward and all. I'm sorry for what I said and did in the car, just forget it and pretend that it didn't happen." I added before standing up to look for clothes in her closet.
I took her loose tank top and boxer shorts before going to the bathroom. She's already lying on the bed when I returned to the room. She's only wearing her underwear and loose shirt.
Gosh! She's sexy. I said mentally. I can't help but wonder what her body feels like when I kiss them.
"You're not going home, sleep here with me" she commanded.
I like it when she's bossy. I smiled before lying down on the other side of the bed, our back is against each other but with a small distance.
I already counted two hundred sheep and I'm still not feeling sleepy. I frowned when I felt the bed shifted after half an hour. I know that she's facing me now but I pretended that I didn't notice.
"Do you really love me?" she asked softly.
"Yeah," I simply said.
"Since when?"
"Two months ago I guess,"
"I love you too" My eyes opened upon hearing what she said. I turned around afterwards to face her.
"As a best friend, as a sister" she added. She friendzoned and sisterzoned me twice already, and within the same day.
I'm a fool! What am I expecting? Of course she loves me, but not the way that I love her. Damn you Maya for being right. I yelled to myself mentally.
My tears were threatening to fall so I immediately turned my back on her because I didn't want her to see me crying. I opened my mouth to say something afterwards but nothing came out. I cannot think of anything to say because I'm too hurt.
My body tensed up when she moved closer and then she hugged my back. I got worried when I felt her tears on my shirt.
"I...I'm sorry. I never thought that you feel that way. I want you to know that I'm happy knowing that you love me, but the feelings that I have for you right now is pure platonic" she explained between sobbing.
I've never been this hurt before because I've never been rejected and most of all, I've never been in love with a girl. Everything that I'm feeling right now is foreign and I know that I can't blame her for rejecting me because it's not her fault.
My tears are already starting to soak my pillow so I closed my eyes to stop it while finding the right words to say to her.
"It is the first time that a girl confessed to me , and it's you of all people, my best friend. Lessa, please try to understand me. I don't want our friendship to be ruined, I don't want to lose you." she pleaded.
It is my first time too and I understand her feelings. I released a heavy sigh before wiping my tears dry. I turned around afterwards and then I held her face to look at me. She's beautiful even when crying. I want to kiss her lips but I'm not allowed to do that.
I forced myself to smile and then I wiped her tears with my hand.
"You don't have to say sorry because I understand you completely. It's both our first time and I'm not forcing you on anything. I just wanted you to know that I love you, that's all" I paused because I felt like crying again.
You can do this, Alessa. I cheered myself mentally.
"Nothing will change so let's forget what happened tonight" I assured her before kissing her forehead. I hugged her tight afterwards to comfort her until we both fell asleep.
I was awakened by the loud voices of their neighbor's chatting. They're talking non-stop and most of it is nonsense. I was about to stand up when I noticed that Ginger's left leg is on my thigh and her left arm is on my breast. I smiled bitterly, if only because she's not straight.
I decided to sleep again because I don't want to disturb her beautiful sleep and the feeling of her body against mine felt so good. I was awakened again when I felt her body move. I opened my right eye and half smiled when I saw her stretching her arms while still lying on the bed. Her eyes were still closed while doing it.
I took it as an opportunity to give her a peck on the lips. That's when she opened her eyes and then she gave me a frown. I fought her gaze until she smiled at me before getting off the bed. I don't have to worry about my actions anymore, now that she already knows that I love her.
"Good morning," she greeted me as soon as I got off the bed as well. She's cute even when she just woke up.
"Good morning!" I replied while stretching my arms. I'm about to enter the bathroom when I remember that I didn't bring my toothbrush.
"Gin, do you have a spare toothbrush? I forgot to bring mine" I asked her while washing my face.
"You can use mine" she offered while she's busy looking for clothes to wear. I stopped for a moment and processed what she just said.
She said I can use her toothbrush! I rejoiced mentally while giggling. That's basically an indirect kiss and quite unhygienic but I don't care, because it's her toothbrush.
I giggled again before I started brushing my teeth. It took me almost five minutes to finish because I'm savoring her toothbrush. I'm really getting weird but this is how love works for me.
"I thought you're going to live in the bathroom forever" she said before snatching her toothbrush away from my hand and used it afterwards. She didn't even bother washing it again.
Are you sure she rejected you? My mind asked.
"Yes, she did" I mumbled to myself.
Being her best friend is way better than nothing at all. At least I get to hug and kiss her on her cheeks, plus I get to hangout with her whenever I want to. I'm not going to give up yet because I still have lots of time to make her fall for me.
I headed out of the room first while whistling a song.
"Someone is happy," Ginger's mom said before taking a sip of her coffee.
"Why do you say so?"Â I asked politely before sitting on the chair in front of her.
"It's obvious, Ginger is also like that when she's happy. You know, whistling" she explained while reading a newspaper.
"Really? Well... we kind of reconciled last night, that's the reason" she grinned at me and was about to say something when Ginger appeared.
She kissed her mom on her cheek before sitting beside her. I pouted hinting that I want a morning kiss too when she glanced at me. I chuckled when she just rolled her eyes at me.
"Morning, mom. What's for breakfast?" she inquired excitedly.
"The usual" her mom replied flatly while still reading the newspaper that has a front page of a certain model. I averted my eyes to the plate full of loaf bread and butter, it's a simple breakfast but for me it's the best.
"Do you want a creamer on your coffee?" she inquired while pouring the hot water on the mug. She's making me coffee.
"Yes, please" I replied sweetly.
We're like a married couple. I said mentally while grinning like a fool.
But who's the husband? I asked myself mentally again.
You!! Because you're the one who confessed. I shook my head to erase the thought because I don't wanna be a husband.
â¥
After the breakfast, I drove fast to my school because I don't want to be late for my first subject because our professor is very particular with the time. I don't wanna be scolded by him and be laughed at by my classmates.
I parked my car and then I ran to the classroom immediately. Fortunately, I was two minutes early before our professor arrived. I sat next to Maya and Albert while still catching my breath.
"Hey how are you? You looked wasted," Maya commented while poking my shoulder.
do I?
"Wasted? I haven't looked in the mirror since morning because I spent the night with Ginger" I replied nonchalantly before I started copying her assignment.
I don't do homework, I just copy them to whoever offers me the answer. She knows that I sometimes spent the night in Ginger's house.
"Feel at home eh?" She teased me. I didn't have the chance to respond because the professor already gave us a lot of activity.
I'm already hungry because I'm not contented with just bread and coffee. I'm used to eating rice in the morning but I didn't tell Ginger that.
I dragged Maya in the cafeteria immediately after our first subject.
"I'm really hungry," I said while waiting for our order. I ordered two pieces of fried chicken and soda.
"Did you already tell Ginger how you feel?" she asked me before taking a bite of her sandwich.
"Yeah," I replied flatly.
"So?"
"So what?" I counter asked, she rolled her eyes at me in annoyance.
"What did she say? How did you tell her?"
"It's actually a sudden confession. I'm not planning to confess to her that time but I got extremely jealous when I saw her laughing with a boy"
"And?" she asked impatiently.
"And she said she loves me too!" I said with a bitter expression on my face.
"You're supposed to be happy right? She said she lovesâ"
"As a best friend, as a sister" I interrupted her.
The disappointment immediately flashed on her face. She reached for my right hand and then she squeezed it gently to comfort me.
"It's okay since it's both our first time. Like you said, I'm still young and I still have all my life to make her fall for me" I replied while trying my best to sound cool about it.
"Don't worry, you're famous here at school. You're beautiful and I'm sure that some of the girls here have a crush on you" I appreciate that she's trying to cheer me up but it's not working.
"I only have my eyes on her, if it's not her then I'd rather be with a boy. She's the only reason why I suddenly become like this" I don't intend to fall for other girls, thinking of it disgusts me already. I need Ginger because she's the only girl that I want.
She sighed in surrender afterwards.
"You want to drink? Let's go party?" She offered.
"Sure, I want to get wasted" there's no point in sulking about my rejection. I should make myself happy and divert the pain that I'm feeling right now to other fun things.
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