After an eventful weekend in Michigan, the boys found themselves back in Easton where West would spend the next week or so before actually leaving for school.
Whilst West was unwinding at his place, relaxing after a long drive, Killian was standing on his porch, dreading what awaited him inside. He'd pranked Sparrow in retaliation to him ruining his golden locks a few days ago, and if he knew his little brother, he also knew he wasn't one to back down from a prank war, because that's what it was, now.
Killian grabbed a random stick laying on the ground, turned the door handle and pushed the door open, making sure he stood as far away as possible from it just in case he got drenched in water.
Nothing.
He stuck his head in the doorway to make sure the coast was clear before running up the stairs and to his room, slamming the door shut behind him.
Maybe Sparrow wasn't home, maybe he forgot all about the ice cold water incident, maybe they were even, now.
He eyed his bed, the fatigue from the long drive finally setting in, in the familiar environment, he shuffled out of his sneakers and jeans before throwing his entire body onto the bed, a choice he'd soon regret.
He sunk into the "bed" like a pebble in a body of water with a loud crumpling sound.
His mattress was missing. Out of all the things Sparrow could've done...
"Sparrow!" Killian yelled, pulling himself up, he lifted the covers only to find wrinkled and balled up newspapers and magazines, how Sparrow managed to smooth out all the lumps and make it look like a real bed was beyond him. He was stepping up his prank game for sure.
The boy in question prodded the door open, "Enjoy your new bed, asshat." He snickered, then promptly closed it again, leaving Killian vexed, mostly shocked beyond belief.
So, I'm not getting my bed back, then...
The door opened again, this time it wasn't his asshole little brother, but his mother.
"Hey, how was your trip to Florida? Harper doing well over there?" She inquired. She was dressed up, a shoulder bag in hand. It seemed as if she was waiting for Killian to show up before she could finally leave.
"What?" Killian asked, distracted. He was thinking about what he'd tell the kids about Linda's whereabouts that night, seeing as she was going out again, forgetting that he'd lied to her about spending the weekend in Michigan with West. "Oh, right. It was... great. He's great."
"You know, I've always liked Harper. I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it if there was something... going on between you two."
"Mom, Harper is like a brother to me. And, I have a boyfriend, remember?"
Linda was taken aback, "That's still going on?" It was clear she disapproved.
"Mom."
"Sorry, I just figured, y'know since he lied to you about moving away, you'd--"
"He didn't lie to me." Killian asserted in a clipped tone. Was everyone looking to annoy him today?
You just stuck your nose in our business like you always do.
"Right..." Linda smiled, albeit forcefully. "Well, I'm going to see Winona and her new baby boy, you guys order pizza or something for dinner, okay?"
"Okay, just don't--" But she'd already disappeared. "Stay out too late." Killian finished off softly. He ran a hand over his face and sighed heavily.
He was back in Easton, alright. For a moment he let himself be happy, he let himself escape, but it was all back to reality, now.
He crawled on top of Trenton's bed and pulled his phone out to text his best friend.
Killian: Heyo. Did she call?
Harpð¤: Obviously. You know how she is.
Killian: Thanks for covering for me.
Harpð¤: Sure... btw, George is actually gonna serve jail time, found out from my dad. Thought he was gonna get away with a fine or something.
Killian: Your dad is literally Jake Graham, what'd you expect?
Harpð¤: Text ya later ;)
Time to order that pizza.
------
"I'm gonna miss this place. It's where we first met... officially." West said as he and Killian left Shirley's. He'd just collected his final pay check, a little glimpse of it told him Shirley had given him a nice, fat bonus to say goodbye. He was, in her words, the nicest, cutest, most dedicated employee she'd ever had. He didn't question the 'cutest' part.
Killian chuckled, the memory hitting him like a ton of bricks, "I don't think, "What the fuck are you doing here?" qualifies as our first official meeting. It was official at that party... the one where I made a fool out of myself."
They walked over to West's car, with Killian stealing glances at the building next door to Shirley's a couple times, before they both settled on the hood of West's car.
"Hey, I was happy to drive you home." West assured, though that was big, fat lie. He'd been irritated and annoyed and aggravated and literally every synonym of the word. Mostly because he had to clean up some hot stranger's puke and drive him home, but also because he couldn't get him out of his mind after that night.
"Liar. You left me on my doorstep. It was freezing cold out."
"Please, it was the middle of summer. And I got you home, didn't I?"
Killian rolled his eyes, a fond smile peeking through, though he still seemed distracted. And West noticed.
"What's up?" He asked worriedly. "You've been eyeing that place ever since we got here."
Killian fixed his gaze upon the building next to Shirley's across the street again. Gilmer Attorneys.
He'd wanted to go in for weeks, now. Just couldn't find the courage. "I've been thinking..."
"Yeah?"
"I want custody of the kids."
"What?" West exclaimed, bewildered. "You're... not even 18 yet."
Not to mention how much responsibility he'd have on his shoulders. The kids needed to eat, go to school, medical costs if one of them got sick suddenly, or if one of the twins sprained their ankle playing basketball, school trips were also a thing. Clothes, hobbies, unexpected expenses... being a parent was not an easy feat, but Killian was determined to give the kids a better life, even if that meant it had to be without their mother.
"I will be in 3 months time. And I haven't made a decision, yet. It's on my mind... My Mom isn't getting any better."
"But she's... she's got a new job now, she'll be able to help out, right?"
"Money isn't the issue, it was at first, but I can buy everything we need every month with the money from Shirley's. She doesn't... she doesn't take care of us anymore, West. It's like she's forgotten she even has kids. Trenton asks about her all the time, I have to lie about where she is cause half of the time, I don't even know... he needs his mother. She misses the twins' basketball games, parent-teacher meetings, she wasn't even at my graduation. The only time she's home is when she needs to sleep or needs something from me. She didn't even notice that I was gone the time we were in Fort Lauderdale."
West immediately felt guilty upon hearing what Killian was going through, had he really been so oblivious to his struggles? He started to wonder if he'd made everything about himself their entire relationship. He knew what it was like to suffer silently, but he never imagined that it'd ever happen to someone he loved, right under his nose. "You didn't tell me it was this bad."
"I didn't want to burden you, I know how tough these past few months have been for you."
"You could never be a burden to me. I want to help, whatever you need. And whatever you decide, I'll support you."
Killian knew that's what West's response would be. He remembered them having a similar moment like this in Fort Lauderdale. He'd told him that his problems could never be a burden to him, that he could tell him anything, and now he was returning the favor. His life may have been in a state of utter disorder at that moment, but at least he still had West. He'd always have West. "Yeah, I know you will."
West pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around him so he could find comfort against his shoulder. That's all he had to give right then.
These were the moments they would miss the most when they were apart. The emotional intimacy, the unfiltered honesty, and how they both felt safe enough to be vulnerable with one another.
He kissed the top of his head like he always did every other day, a habitual action, then led him to the passenger side before they climbed into the car and drove away.
------
"Should I get a dog?" Paul asked, standing in West's doorway as he packed the last of his belongings a few days later. His room was bare before, now it just looked depressing.
West looked up from zipping his bag, his eyebrow rising, "I asked you for a dog once when I was 9, remember? You said you were allergic."
"I just... didn't want to have to take care of another child."
West nodded amicably, "Right."
"Not that I didn't want to take care of you. Dogs are just a lot of work," Paul shrugged. "I had too much going on at the time."
He slipped into his bathroom, making sure he'd grabbed everything. At the rate he was going you'd think he was to never step foot in that house ever again. "So, you think you're finally ready to adopt another kid?" He asked.
"Yeah... maybe."
West grabbed his last two bags and swung them over his shoulders before joining his Dad in the doorway.
Paul then ruffled his unruly dark hair before heading downstairs, wanting to give him some space.
He looked into his room one last time, trying to conjure up some happy memories, pleasant feelings, maybe. He'd heard stories when he was younger about how the monster never got to you if you hid under the covers. Over the years he'd come to realize that that was not true, he'd still be a victim of his Dad's misplaced rage no matter how much he'd tried to make himself disappear under the crisp white sheets.
This place never really felt safe for him, never really felt like home.
With that, West shut the door. This would be the last thing he missed, he was finally free. He descended down the stairs, feeling lighter and lighter with each step he took. He was free.
Downstairs, Paul was making a sandwich in the kitchen, he looked up from the cutting board when West entered the room, a weary sigh escaping his lips.
"I'll visit whenever I can," West vowed, "I promise."
He wiped his hands clean with a dishcloth, then walked towards West, wrapping his arms around him. "I know you will."
They held onto each other for a few seconds before letting go. West never dreamed they'd ever get to this point. Their relationship had come a long way, but it still had miles to go. The healing was not complete, but the important part was that it was underway. In time he'd be able to look at his Dad and not have the first thing to come to mind be memories filled with pain and tears and hurt.
He wanted more of these hugs, more binge watching Korean dramas, more pizza nights, more jamming out with his guitar til their fingers bled, more peaceful days and more late night talks.
And they'd get there... eventually.
West fished his car keys out of his pocket, running his fingers over the smooth military tags attached to them, now this was something he'd miss.
"Are you sure about this?" Paul asked.
"Yeah," West nodded, "He needs it more than I do, right now.
"Well, it's yours. You do whatever you want with it."
--
"Let me help you with those." Killian offered once West stepped outside with his bags. He swiped one bag off of West's shoulder and walked towards his car before he even had a chance to respond.
Killian opened the trunk, then paused upon noticing West's mirthful grin.
"What?" He asked.
"They're not going in the car."
"Why not?"
"Because... It's yours, now." He opened up his hand to reveal the car keys in his palm.
That wasn't registering to Killian. Surely he wasn't saying what he thought he was saying. No way in hell would West give up his most prized possession. He was also pretty sure he loved the car more than him. "Say that again. But, slowly."
"I." West began, pointing a finger towards himself, "Am giving you, Killian, this car. It's yours. A gift."
He vehemently shook his head, not willing to accept it. "No. You love this car. You love it more than I've ever seen anyone love an inanimate object before--"
"Is this car an inanimate object? Yeah. It was my Dad's before it was mine, so it's old as fuck. Are cars nowadays inanimate objects? It depends, self-driving cars exist now, do they count as living things if they don't necessarily need a driver behind the wheel? But those cars don't really breathe, or eat, or drink-- wait, does fuel count as sustenance?"
His ramblings were usually something he entertained. But, he couldn't focus on them right then. "That is actually a topic we need to revisit later on, now...?"
"Oh, right." West took one last look at his car. His Dad had given it to him when he turned 16. On one of those rare occasions wherein he'd been sober.
Paul had started working on the car a year prior that. He'd replaced some old parts, the seats, the rims, and changed the color of the car from cream white to green. West didn't think nothing of it, to him, his Dad had taken up a new hobby, he'd decided to fix his old car. Only on his birthday did he learn how wrong he was. It was special to him, the grandest thing Paul had ever done for him.
He cherished it... to him, it was more than a car, it was proof that Paul could be giving, that he could be kind. That there was more to him than being an angry drunk, that he could be a good father if he beat his vices.
And he was right, everyday Paul revealed a side of himself that none of them knew even existed. He was changing, he was getting better. He was trying to be a better father and man.
"This old Toyota is yours." He affirmed once again. If anyone deserved it now, it was Killian. He was certain he'd treat it with the same amount of love and respect as he did, maybe even more.
"You'll need it more than I will. I won't be using it much in Michigan, anyway. School is 5 minutes away by foot, shops are literally everywhere. It's high time I start walkin' to places."
Killian was still in a state of shock, he couldn't process what was happening. So much so that he didn't notice West's bus looming on the horizon.
"Oh, there's my transport."
He took Killian's hand and they crossed the street together all the way to the bus stop.
"You're taking the bus?"
"Yeah." West shrugged. "Buses are awesome."
Not.
"Can I at least... pay you for it?"
That prompted West to roll his eyes, "Gosh. Just... borrow it, then."
The bus was creeping closer. They didn't have enough time to go back and forth. It picked up an old lady they didn't recognize a stop sign away before heading to their stop.
Killian sighed. He had to accept things for what they were or else he wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye. He only had 30 seconds. "Are you sure about this?"
West took Killian's hands into his own, interlacing their fingers. "Killian, it's okay." The bus pulled over and the doors opened.
"Just... Keep it. And keep it in good shape or else..."
"You might actually kill me." He finished off facetiously.
"I might."
Killian stared at their clasped hands, the reality of the situation finally setting in. West was leaving, really leaving this time. How long would it be til he could feel the warmth of his palms again? Til he could lose himself in his embrace? That was, after all, the only place he felt safe enough to let down his defenses. The only place where he could escape his reality and let go of all his anxiety.
He wasn't sure how he'd cope without the promise of being able to talk to him everyday, to see him, to feel him.
But West had to go, and he had to let him.
"I love you." Killian uttered, distraught.
West couldn't allow himself to feel or take in the profound intensity of the emotions that came with leaving Killian behind. He wished he didn't have to, he would've given anything not to, but alas, he did not have a choice. All he had to give was; "And I love you."
They collapsed into one another, breathing each other in like the air they needed to survive,
like it was the last time, desperately and hopelessly as if death would be inevitable if one or the other let go.
In this final moment of togetherness, they felt their love for one another pulsate through their very cells.
They felt it materialize in their surroundings as they held onto each other for dear life. If they held on any tighter, they would've been woven together. It was pretty clear why they couldn't let go, their souls couldn't bear the thought of being away from each other for so long.
They'd found each other when they least expected, from coincidentally meeting at a party that West decided to go to when he had nowhere else to go, to avoiding each other at school only to end up working together at Shirley's. They were meant to cross paths, no matter how much they tried to stay away from each other, one would always gravitate towards the other.
They took comfort in knowing that no matter how far away in the Universe they were from each other, their souls would always find a way to come together again. They would find a way to make it home.
Killian smiled against the crook of West's neck, hints of the citrus scented cologne he always wore hitting his nose and already making him feel a tiny bit nostalgic. Maybe Tommy Hilfiger wasn't so bad after all.
A blaring horn snapped them out of their little bubble, making them flinch and unwillingly pull apart. A glance at the bus driver told them he wasn't very pleased with them. They didn't dare look at the passengers in fear that they'd be met with a dozen impatient glares. So, without another word, West leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the corner of Killian's mouth. A simple gesture with so much meaning behind it, a promise that they'd see each other soon, that this kiss would not be their last.
West went up the steps, but looked back once he got to the top, his soft eyes meeting with Killian's before he uttered something that made him break out into a wide, euphoric grin, "Later, dude."
The smile stayed on his face as the bus drove off, and only once it receded from view did he respond.
They had no idea what that first hello would mean to them all those months ago, no idea that those words would be the start of something magical, something they'd both never experienced before.
That hello was the start of a new chapter, and so would be this goodbye.
He reached for the keys West had sneakily dropped into the pocket of his jacket, then started walking towards his new car, feeling at ease and optimistic about the future.
"Later."
_________________________________________
Final authors note
the bus driver and people in the bus were all like ð§ââï¸ððð â°
anyway, thanks for reading my first attempt at a family centered romance novel which let's be honest was CORNY & DRAMATIC AS HELL
I'd never written anything else before starting this book in may 2019(slow writer ik) my writing has improved soooo much since the first chapter me thinks
at first I didnt think it would reach even 1k but we're on 400k now ð¥ºall of you made that possible so THANK YOU
you guys mean the world to me and have inspired me to keep writing
I hope these characters resonated with you or at least left a mark on you as much as they have on meâ¤
there will be a sequel to Let me in centered around Killians home life since this one was mainly about Weston, new characters will be introduced and we'll get to see West in college and making music ð¥³the title for that one is "The Trouble With Opening Up"....... soon
_________________________________________