Chapter 28: Chapter 28

28. The Date (Part 2)

Dillon

Dillon had perused the menu for over 10 minutes, mostly to pretend to want anything else but the greasy but amazing deep dish pizza, but he had made up his mind before they had arrived. Every now and then he looked over his menu to glance at Libra, who looked visibly starving as she constantly licked her lips when she discovered a new meal. He put down his menu after a while and smiled while watching her be so indecisive and she was stunning while frowning uncontrollably.

It didn't take long for her to look up at him and realize that he had been done a while ago. With flushed cheeks she put down her own menu and shrugged her shoulders with a shy smile. He could see that she was nervous and to be honest so was he, this date had become more important than he'd expected. As soon as he saw her outfit when he picked her up she knew it meant something to her too, that he wasn't the only one who had been excited about it. But then he also knew they shared the same confusion and fear about what was happening between them – these new feelings that they both had were dangerous and new and had yet to make any sense.

"You weren't kidding about that deep dish pie," Libra said, "I can't seem to find anything else on the menu I want to try as much as that."

Dillon became more than pleased with this. He'd assumed she'd pick some neat gnocchi dish but instead they were about to indulge themselves in one of his favorite meals that could only be had properly in Chicago. He looked down at her blouse and hoped she wasn't the messy kind – she had picked an amazing outfit but it wasn't very tomato sauce friendly.

"You won't be sorry I can promise you that. Whenever my dad was in town I'd beg him to bring back one of these pies back to North Haven, then I'd munch it all in one go." He laughed when he recalled how happy he had become each time his father dumped the greasy doggy bag on the kitchen table.

His mother had never had a pizza here in her life, not anywhere else either, because in her opinion she could afford to eat better. This deep dish was one of the few things Dillon and his father Jonah agreed on but there wasn't much beyond that.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Libra asked and took Dillon by surprise, too curious to pass that up he nodded and waited for her to continue, "This is the first time I ever heard you talk about your father, is there a reason why you refrain from talking about him?"

The truth was that Jonah and Dillon had always been at odds in one way or another. Back in high school it was mostly due to Dillon's bad behavior, he knew that now. His parents were upstanding Christians in their community and town, they wanted him to uphold their reputation but Dillon couldn't have cared less. As a kid he didn't have much to complain about, he was spoiled rotten and loved every minute of it – but at times it could be lonely. His parents worked for the charity foundation they had founded and at times they could be gone for weeks at a time – it caused a ripple in their relationship.

"My father and I aren't that much alike, I think that's why. He likes being this upstanding guy with money and a good reputation – I don't give two shits about that." He sighed and shook his head when he thought about all the arguments they'd had about this in the past.

Libra nodded but allowed him to continue, she didn't want to stop listening. So Dillon took a sip of water and prepared himself to share something he had only shared with Charlie.

"My mom couldn't have any more children after she had me, something went wrong the doctors said...so they spoiled me a lot as a kid but when I started high school I changed – decided I didn't want to be an upstanding guy anymore." The word left his tongue and he wish it hadn't. It immediately brought him back to the horrible thing that he had done.

"Why do you think that was? That you didn't want to be an 'upstanding guy' I mean." She asked and thanked the waiter who brought in their sodas.

"It got me more attention from my parents. They would show up to school whenever I was in trouble or spend extra time at home after I'd landed in detention for a week – things like that." He felt ashamed talking about it now.

That Dillon Holden was a rude rebel that knew how to use it to get attention. He had been too insecure for his own good but found strength from coming from money. Regardless of what he did and how bad he treated people his friends were always around to back him up and laugh at his jokes – he wondered now if that was all an act. Maybe they had been terrified that he would turn on them and treat them badly unless they coddled him or perhaps they were just interested in the lavish perks that came with being his friends.

"I was an ass back then Libra," his eyes looked at her shamefully, "the way I treated you and other people was disgusting and never should've happened. I want to tell you I'm sorry."

She didn't respond nor accept his apology. They sat in silence as if he had brought bad weather into the restaurant. He could see that she was thinking about something, maybe remembering the things that he'd done. He hoped that one day she wouldn't see those things anymore – because when he looked at her all he saw was how beautiful she was, inside and out.

"Let's not talk more about that tonight. I shouldn't have imposed on your life like that, I'm sorry."

"No don't apologize for that – you have shared about your family so it's only fair I do the same. I trust you." He fixated his eyes on her and watched as she blushed yet again.

After that it was smooth sailing for the two of them. Conversation seemed to come easy to the both of them as they discussed the worst professors on campus, best professors and compared how they liked their classes. Dillon found out that Libra had gotten an A+ yesterday on her Poetry assignment and he told her about the solid B he'd gotten in Economy class. It felt nice to talk about other things and not rate the asses of every freshman girl with Todd and Austin.

When their pies came in they ate in silence, both of them starving it seemed. He watched humorously how she devoured her food and how more and more marinara sauce spread around her moth. Finally he burst out laughing when the sauce was dripping from the tip of her nose without her knowledge. Libra put her fork done and stared at him blushingly.

"I have marinara sauce all over my face, don't I?" She said sheepishly and to that he could only nod.

Before she had a chance to remove it he reached over and wiped it with his thumb, brought it to his mouth and quickly licked it off. Their eyes locked and silence broke out between them again. It was inevitable with them, he concluded, they would keep having these small moments until they would address them. Dillon felt terrified inside because as soon as they talked about it a formal decision had to be made about them; what in the heck did they want with each other?

"We should talk—"Dillon started and put his fork down, almost done with his food.

Libra mirrored his behavior and put her left hand over her stomach and frowned. These pies would soon remind them why people often shared them instead of rushing through one on their own. Around them the two other couples had begun eating their deserts and one of the couples had moved their chairs closer to be able to kiss. Dillon wanted to kiss Libra; he wanted to know what those sweet lips actually tasted like. He stared at her glossy lips and smiled a little – things had really changed this summer, he thought.

"If you don't mind I'd like to start," Libra said and took a deep breath after finishing her soda, "I'm not going to lie to you, Dillon, seeing you here this college has rattled me a bit."

"Rattled you? What do you mean by that?" He asked slightly taken aback.

"I simply mean that the moment you walked through the door to the café everything changed. I'd had this plan on what college would be like, my... Dr. Fine and I had made a plan and as soon as you arrived everything got so confusing. You were so different to how you were in North Haven and that confused me even more—"she stopped and shook her head like she remembered it like it was yesterday.

"You weren't the only one confused, Libra. My goal in going to different colleges to my friends was to get an opportunity to change myself. I know what happened to you on prom night and that...it changed me." He shook when he spoke now and kept his hands hidden under the table.

He was worried that he had given away too much and she might start asking him questions, but instead she looked away and bit her lip. Each time he saw her reaction to prom he wanted to hug her and beg for her forgiveness, without fully admitting what he'd done. What Dillon really wanted was to admit that he had changed for her and it had been more liberating than he'd first thought. But if he said that to her he doubted she would ever forgive him and the only thing he'd get would be a possible sentence and expelled from college.

"So what do we do with all this confusion? We can't keep pretending like we don't have a rough past and an even stranger present-friendship." She continued on.

The question was burning a hole between them or was it the electric attraction between them that finally had taken over. Confused or not Dillon couldn't help but want to confuse things further and travel down whatever path they were going.

"What if we start of slow you and me? We can become friends and spend some time getting to know each other and see what comes of it." Dillon suggested and hoped that the fear of losing her wasn't displayed in her voice.

He saw a smile form on her lips and he sighed of relief not hiding his own smile anymore. His nerves calmed themselves a bit and he sunk down in his seat a little bit, too full to sit up straight. He could see Libra think about his proposition and process it firmly in her head. His mind shot back to the other night at the party when she had called him. She said that she had wanted to see him and now he couldn't help but wonder what would've happen if he hadn't been too drunk to answer the call – what if they had met up that night.

I would've kissed you if you'd allowed me to.

"Friendship sounds like a great start." Libra finally said out loud and when the waiter returned to take their plates she whispered that she wanted to see the dessert menu.

He smiled as she glanced at him with red cheeks and the only thing he could think about was how deep his desire for kissing some whipped cream of her lips truly had become.