CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Ugh.
Alex kicked through the pile of clothes on his floor but he still couldn't find anything to wear. It was 31st December, the day of Lacey's annual New Year's party and as usual it would be a huge deal. Alice and Lacey would normally spend months in advance planning it together, always making it the best party of the entire year and Alex knew Lacey would try extra hard this time. It would be her first party without his sister and he knew she'd make it as amazing as possible in her memory.
Tyler had offered to help this year and where Ty went, Cameron was sure to follow, along with Hannah who would come with Kalila who would drag Emma along. Alex couldn't help the huge smile on his face when he thought of that. Although the sharp pang of grief could still be felt in his chest when he thought of his sister, he knew with absolute certainty she would love all his new friends; crazy antics and all. He knew that they'd make today great and one thing was for sure, this party would be one to remember.
Party.
"Shit," he cursed out loud, rummaging through his wardrobe. He still wasn't ready and he was getting late. Miraculously he managed to spot a brand new pair of jeans alongside a matching blue t-shirt with an anchor on it amongst all the crap in there. Although he couldn't remember where they had come from, Alex sent a silent thank you up to the heavens and pulled them on, ripping the tags off with his teeth.
Once he looked presentable, he sped out of his house and ran through the dark alleyway behind his flats which led towards Lacey's house. Even if he had never been there before, there was no doubt that he would know exactly which house was hers with just one glance. The road seemed to hum with the vibrations of the music and along with the flashing lights, it was obvious a party was in full swing. But the difference between Lacey's parties and every other one he had ever been to was entirely in the atmosphere.
Despite the fact that her parents were quite strict, they let her host the New Year's party every year as they knew she wouldn't let it get wildly out of hand. The neighbours wouldn't complain because although her music was loud, it wasn't obnoxiously so and the attendees would behave themselves. Alex knew Lacey would invite almost everyone in the school regardless of their social status and it was perhaps because of this that she was so respected. It seemed that nobody ever got too drunk or passed out or made a huge mess at any of her parties and that was the amazing thing.
Everybody just loved her.
Instinctively Alex raised a hand to knock on the door but it swung open of its own accord, Cameron standing behind it chattering with a couple of girls including Melissa. They flicked their hair and pursed their lips and Alex couldn't help stifling a chuckle when he saw the way they hung on to his every word even though he seemed to want to get away. It was obvious that Cameron was the kind of guy that could pick up girls without even trying but this was the same guy who was in a relationship with his best friend after all. His best male friend.
"Hey Cam!" he called out in an attempt to distract them enough to save Tyler's boyfriend. 'Man that still sounds weird,' he thought to himself before walking forward to say hi to everyone he knew. He spoke to Cam and a girl from his History class for a while â trying to ignore the glares Melissa was sending him for ignoring her â until he decided to go find his other friends.
Pushing through the crowds of people, he managed to spot them all standing in a circle against Lacey's bedroom door. Both he and Cameron slowly made their way over to them; having to stop every few seconds to call out hellos to people they knew.
"There you are!" Lacey beamed at Alex when she spotted him. "For a second there, I thought you wouldn't show."
They all chatted for a while, cracking jokes and reminiscing over things that had happened in the year. As Tyler was telling the story of how he had met Cameron, Alex shuffled over slightly until he was standing opposite Kalila. She tugged on her green dress a little as he leant over and almost whispered to her. "Remember how we met?"
Kalila grinned, how could she possibly forget? It seemed like that moment in time was one of the most significant things that had happened in both their lives. She couldn't help shuddering as she thought how different things would be if they hadn't met, if she hadn't stopped him, if he were dead.
Thankfully, before long, her thoughts were interrupted by someone yelling at Lacey to turn on the TV. It was 11:50pm and they could almost feel the anticipation for the New Year in the air around them. After looking everywhere for the remote, Cameron managed to locate it under a cushion and threw it at his boyfriend. Tyler switched on the TV, flicking through all the channels until he got to BBC where the countdown to the year 2014 was showing at Trafalgar Square and all along the River Thames. Someone turned the volume of the music down until it was no more than a quiet murmur and Alex could hear the chattering begin to lessen as they all waited in excitement.
Although everyone else's eyes were glued to the screen, he looked at the people surrounding him. Cameron, leaning against Tyler's tall frame, had an arm also loosely wrapped around his cousin. The four girls were huddled together, excitement etched clearly on their faces. These were the people who had helped him, who had brought him out of his misery and who had been there to count on when he needed it. This had been the toughest year with the loss of Alice so painfully clear in every moment and no matter what the future bought, he knew it would never be as agonising as 2013 had been for him. But it hadn't been all bad, there were plenty of good times too.
Ten.
He'd made more true friends in 2013 than in any other year.
Nine.
He had reconnected with the family he had left.
Eight.
He pursued his passion in photography and improved his skills.
Seven.
He tried out new things for the very first time like cranberry picking.
Six.
He tried out things that he previously didn't like once again such as ice-skating.
Five.
He was finally able to visit Alice's grave for the first time and talk to her.
Four.
He had gotten around to painting his flat and thoroughly enjoyed doing so.
Three.
He'd revisited his childhood in the form of snowball fights at the park and hot chocolate.
Two.
He swam in the freezing cold sea in the middle of winter for a crazy girl.
One.
The same crazy girl who changed his entire life.
"Happy New Year!" everyone chanted in sync as they cheered and clapped, hugging each other and exchanging resolutions. The sky exploded in a flash of colours as the fireworks began, lighting up London's skyline in an array of glitter. Alex laughed from genuine happiness and hugged his friends absentmindedly, still gazing at the night sky in adoration.
The fireworks were spectacular â there was no doubt about that â but as he looked back at his friends, they suddenly seemed a little dull in comparison to Kalila now standing across from him. He opened his mouth to say something but his train of thought suddenly disappeared, the words jumbled up even inside his own head. All he could think about is how bright her eyes shone when she was excited, how clear her skin looked illuminated against the gold and silver of the fireworks, how much her hair glistened with the lights.
Kalila felt a pair of eyes on her and turned to meet Alex's gaze, internally repressing the little flutter in her stomach when she looked at him. As he flicked his head back trying to get his fringe out of his eyes, she smiled widely at him. It was that smile that did it. Without stopping to think about it or to rationalise how stupid his move was, Alex leant forward a little and pressed his mouth to hers.
He vaguely could hear gasps and a big "finally!" from Hannah but he barely registered it. All he could think of was the feel of soft lips beside his, the hesitancy before she gave in. Kalila knew her mind was yelling at her to stop but she couldn't help responding. It was only when she heard the click of a shutter and the flash of a camera hit her face did she realise what she was doing.
She was kissing him.
She broke away suddenly; her eyes wide open in shock as she tried to catch her breath. Her lips tingled a little and she took a step back to clear her head. Somehow being too close to Alex was causing her heart to pound so loud that her entire body was almost vibrating with it.
"Iâ I'm, I, I can'tâ I have to go." she spluttered out, the words seemingly lodged in her throat as she bolted away from them.
Alex felt his heart plummet but what did he expect? This was Kalila, one of his best friends. He knew her. He knew she was terrified of relationships, completely disbelieving in love. He knew she wouldn't have a positive reaction, maybe he shouldn't even try.
"The heck are you just standing there for?" Lacey slapped him over the head with an empty cup, still clutching his camera tightly in her hand. "Go after her, you boob!"
He tried protesting â rolling his eyes at her choice of insult â but there was nobody more persistent than Lacey. It didn't matter how much he tried to explain that Kalila didn't like him like that and she needed time to think, nobody would listen to him. Tyler and Emma shoved him along a little and before he knew it, his feet were walking of their own accord.
Alex wandered through the crowd, barely registering the faces of all the people wishing him a Happy New Year as he followed Kalila's footsteps towards the balcony.
The sliding door was open, the breeze from outside tugged at his hair as he drew nearer. There were still a few fireworks going off in the far distant, illuminating the rows of houses that neatly lined the street. She was standing with her back to him, her gold bangles clinking together as she rubbed her hands over her bare arms. Her head was bowed as though she were looking down at something he couldn't see, her shoulders slightly slumped over.
All of a sudden she groaned loudly, banging her head against the wall in what seemed to be frustration.
"Ow!"
Alex suppressed his laugh but was unable to hide the amusement in his voice. "So why exactly are you abusing the wall?"
Although her back tensed a little, Kalila wasn't at all startled to hear him. Somehow she knew he would come after her, Alex wasn't one to leave things half done. She wanted to turn around and face him but found she couldn't. She didn't want to see his face as she rejected him, it would be too much. So with her back still towards him, she avoided his question and said what she was thinking.
"I'm sorry for running out on you," she managed to spit out, her ears burning as she thought about how much she had embarrassed herself in front of everyone.
"And I'm sorry for kissing you," he answered, trying not to think back to how amazing it had been.
Kalila snorted. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn't do anything if he didn't want to. "Are you?" she asked. Although he couldn't see her face, Alex knew she would probably have her eyebrows raised in disbelief.
He chuckled at how well she knew him. He wasn't sorry he had kissed her, not one bit. "No not really."
She turned her head to the side a little so she could see him in her peripheral vision and grinned. His eyebrows were drawn together in concentration and his lips slightly pursed as though he was thinking back to a moment he couldn't quite remember.
"Thank you," he said.
Kalila tilted her head to one side in confusion, she had no idea what he was thanking her for. Without giving her a chance to ask why however, Alex continued talking, his words jumbled up and spilling out in an attempt to finally say what he had been feeling for a while.
"Thanks for that day we met, for throwing your Skittles at me. Youâ I guess you helped me after that, you stuck with me when most people would leave. I don't know what I would have done without you, Iâ I dunno, you just make a massive difference in my life and I'm so glad I met you. So basically... I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you. Thank you for saving my life, not just that day but every other day that came after it."
Although she hadn't intended on turning around, she did so without even realising it. He'd always been fairly open with her but that was still the most honest thing Alex had ever said. She looked up at him, his smile was half hidden in the shadows of the night but she still knew exactly what it looked like. She knew everything about him.
And with that realisation, she reached forward and tugged his hand slightly. She didn't know how to word it exactly but Kalila knew she needed to tell him why she ran away.
"I'm scared," she managed to spit out.
Alex's nose scrunched in confusion. He already knew that, he knew why she was like this. "I know. You're scared that you're gonna get hurt like Natalie but... It's me. You know me, don't you?" he asked.
It seemed to happen slowly but somehow Kalila couldn't think of a reason she didn't want to be with him. He was right, she did know him. This was Alex for God's sake! She knew every freckle on his face and every scar on his upper arms. She knew he wished on stars and let go of balloons outside to watch them float away. This was the same boy who swam in the sea with her in the middle of December, who was the only person she could comfortably sit in total silence with. He wouldn't admit it but he was afraid of thunder and fascinated by lightning. She knew how much he cared for his friends, how much he had loved his sister, how he smiled his special smile for her.
She knew him. She knew he wouldn't intentionally hurt her, so what was she so afraid of?
And with that thought in her mind, she smiled and answered the question he hadn't expected an answer to. "Yes," she said with a genuine smile on her face as she leant forward and pressed her lips to his. "Yes, I do know you."
A/N: Click on the external link on the right side to see their clothes because making outfits is fun okay :}