Chapter 55: Chapter 54

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...Promising...

The meeting with Yelena was only the beginning.

Learning about the euthanization plan plagued his mind night and day, brewing new questions that he was burning to ask. He found Floch again, who'd grown wary after the last time of getting beat up, and asked for Yelena again. Floch still complied, and on the evenings that HQ was practically empty, she'd somehow find a way to make it without being seen.

She'd tell him anything he wanted to know so transparently that he always second-guessed if she was lying straight through her teeth or not. Nonetheless, he listened. And when time was up, she'd leave him with even more questions than before. So he'd find Floch again, after each meeting. Soon, it became a regular occurrence.

True to her word, she was a negotiator who kept her word. The Marleyans never bothered you again. And when asked about the ones who did, who you killed, she claimed that those "traitors" had nothing to do with the rest of the Marleyan Volunteers. Whether or not Hange believed her, the case never continued.

Eren could go to Hange or Levi whenever he wanted to reveal what he had learned. He could confide in his friends on what to do—he could confide in you. But he never did, only kept it to himself.

He could blame a variety of things—Yelena's masterful manipulation skills, the brother he never knew, or even Floch, who always complied and never denied. But he knew the culprit he truly should blame was none other than himself.

This hunger to know more, this addiction, was eating him away. He'd grown obsessed with learning about this brother he did not know, this enemy he'd never truly met, this man who hurt the person he loved most in the world. He had to retaliate, and the only way to do so was to find out everything he could—how this man thought, how he acted, his decision patterns, and most importantly, how to fool him.

But he knew where his limits lay, and that was he could not follow Zeke's plan. He couldn't do it. No matter how much he wanted to meet the man, pretend to follow his plan, and destroy him from the inside, he could not do that to you. Even affiliating with Zeke felt like a betrayal. Nothing could change his mind.

Until one evening, the last week before the departure to Marley, Floch came to visit him first. Eren had been in the empty kitchen of HQ, stirring a pot of soup for you and him when his solitude was interrupted.

"Eren, you need to make up your mind soon. Time's ticking—you have literally days."

Eren refused to even look at him. He continued stirring the pot with the wooden spoon. "You give me an order one more time, and I'll throw this boiling soup in your face."

Floch sighed. As much as he was dutiful to his new role, Eren was the most stubborn person he'd ever met. "It's not me who's pushing you—it's that tall, blonde freak. You know, sometimes she reminds me of Erwin a little. Quick-witted, sharp, and–"

"Don't push it, Floch," muttered Eren, tightening his hold on the spoon. "You must be out of your goddamn mind to compare her to Erwin. Didn't you used to whine about nearly getting your ribs crushed by that bastard of a Beast Titan? Quick to forget, huh?"

"I am trying to do what is best for Eldia, and I thought you would, too," Floch fired back. "You used to want to play hero all the time. Now that you have the chance, you won't do it? What's changed? 'Cause you 'fell in love'? Come on, that girl can't be worth evolving your entire life around her—you guys aren't even supposed to be with each other."

Floch would've continued if it weren't for Eren's piercing glare that dared him to speak any further. Eren let go of the spoon, leaving it propped against the pot. It seemed to him that the soup threat wasn't enough for Floch to get the hint. "You speak about our relationship again, and I'll grab that kitchen knife over there, stab you in your neck, and shove your face into the fire of the stove. You followin'?"

Floch shakily nodded his head, pressing his mouth shut.

"Whatever decision I make is none of your business. It's none of anybody's business—if Zeke is so set on convincing me, that's between him and me. Nobody else needs to pry. And even if he did 'convince me'—there's not a damn chance I'd genuinely follow him and his maniacal ideas–"

"Does that mean you'd play along?" questioned Floch.

Eren was slightly taken aback. "I wasn't talking about–"

"I get it now," breathed out Floch as if he'd just found a land-shattering discovery. "You'll accept Zeke's plan as a front, but you'd be pretending, and you'd be working against him."

"Floch, wait a minute–"

"I can't believe I ever doubted you." Floch huffed a laugh, patting Eren on the shoulder. "I got you, alright? When you go off to meet Zeke in Marley, leave the rest to me—and trust me, I know how to keep my mouth shut."

Then he rushed out of the kitchen, probably out of excitement, leaving Eren standing beside the boiling soup, confused more than angry. What the fuck was he talking about... When the soup was done, he poured it into two bowls on a tray and carried it up the stairs.

I'm not doing it, he told himself. I can't leave her. I won't. He refused to let himself do it, even if his dreams of the future showed him that he would. He'd defy it. Because he didn't know how he'd be able to live with himself if he followed through with his fate.

* . * .

You weren't oblivious to Eren's change in behavior.

He hadn't seemed like himself in a while, but it was subtle and ignorable. It only began to bother you when there was a clear difference in how much time he was spending with you than how it used to be. And even at the times he was with you, it always seemed like his mind was elsewhere.

So, in the last week before the departure, you took him along with you on the road to take his mind off things. You'd recently received a letter from Historia inviting you to the Reiss Estate to see the work she'd done with the O/n Orphanage.

Since you both wanted to make the journey faster on your horses, there was barely any talk on the way. You would spare him glances frequently, trying to decipher what he could be thinking about, while he wouldn't even notice your attention on him.

The trip ended at sunset. A group of kids were all running around on the grass, being chased by Historia, who was running at a fraction of her speed. Spotting you both, she waved and came over.

"You came at the perfect time," she said, out of breath, sharing a hug with you. "These kids are restless, I swear. I'll take a break, and we can catch up."

But one of the little girls had run over and tugged on her skirt. "But you promised we'd play until night!"

Historia chuckled, crouching down. "Sweetheart, we've been playing since afternoon!"

You squinted your eyes in the distance and were thrilled to see Spot, the dot-printed dog, running around with the kids. "I'll play with them, Historia, and you go take a break."

"Really? You'd do that?"

"I've been itching to run around. I've been stuck with him all day, too." You pointed at Eren with your thumb. "Couldn't stop running his mouth on the way." Eren arched an eyebrow, who seemingly didn't get your joke-masked jab at him.

He and Historia found a place by the fence to rest. Watching you play with the kids soon got a bit awkward because neither of them had said a word. So Historia softly cleared her throat. "So, how've you been, Eren? It's been some time."

"Historia, I have something to talk to you about."

"Sure, what's up?"

"The MPs are still pushing the same idea," he said. "Turn you into a titan and eat Zeke. And 'restrict' the Fritz-Ackerman from me for life."

She ducked her head, sighing. "Does Y/n know?"

"She pretends to ignore it when Hange talks about it. Hell, even I pretend to ignore it. But she knows. And it doesn't look like they're changing their minds. The only 'possible' choice is to fight or flee."

"I know what they're planning," she admitted. "But I'm not Y/n. I don't have her spirit. Running and fighting aren't my only options. If becoming a titan gives us the best chance of saving our island, then I am prepared. And ... please don't tell Y/n I said this—but realistically, it's the only way. Still, it means a lot that you all are willing to keep fighting for the two of us."

"It might be enough for you, but not for me." She turned to him, a little stunned. Suddenly, words that didn't seem to be his own were escaping his mouth. "I'll trample the outside world to the ground and every person in it. Men, women, children. Every last one."

"That isn't the answer, Eren!" she exclaimed. "The people of the outside are just as innocent as our people! They would die ignorant and terrified, like your mother! You'll be killing innocent people for reasons they'll never know!"

"Yeah, it's pretty horrible," he muttered. "But when I'm done, we'll finally break free of this cycle we've been trapped in for two thousand years. Our long histories of hate will be buried in the ruins of civilization."

The voice in his mind pounded in his head, screaming and questioning, Why am I saying this?! This was not him. He couldn't be saying this willingly, even if he felt this way inside. It was like an entity, some other soul had taken over his body, unsealing his deepest thoughts.

"The MPs plan to make you bear children to be sacrificed. They'll keep forcing these children to eat their parents. And they're willing to imprison an innocent person and have her die alone. Do you think I can ever stand for that? No, that's why we have to fight until every one of our enemies is dead."

"You can't do that! It'll break Y/n's heart!"

"Break her heart?" At that, he huffed a humorous laugh. "You think she wouldn't stand for what I'd do? You barely know her, Historia, even if you're from the same 'family.' And there's even a difference in that. One of you turned out to be a 'realist,' willing to bend under pressure. The other turned out to be a fighter to the end. Just like me. So don't act like you'd know how she'd react because there's nobody who knows her better than me."

Historia tried her best not to feel offended and hurt by his words. "Even if you do this, if you do the Rumbling, she wouldn't be there alongside you anyway! She can't even be near you when you're using titan powers! So what is the point of having her understand if she can't even be with you?"

And just as he'd named her, the realist brings up reality. Something he tried desperately to ignore. So, for the first time, he let the whole truth out. "Historia, she's suffered way too much because of me. And I continue to be selfish by loving her, by wanting her by me. The fucking ironic thing is that she'd be more free than she'd ever be if I wasn't in her life."

"No, Eren, there has to be another way! Please, let us help you! We'll find a new way—anything other than this!"

The minute she finished her words, he received a flash of the future, of what this entire conversation was supposed to lead up to. Now, he knew what to do. "Don't bother. You won't be remembering any of this anyway."

Under his intense gaze, realization slowly struck. She turned on her heel, mid-scream through your name when his hand already made it to her forehead.

You turned over your shoulder. "Yeah? Historia, you okay?" you asked, seeing her sitting against the fence, looking tiresome.

"She's good," Eren replied for her. "She just wanted to see how you're doing over there. Right, Historia?"

"Yes! Glad you're having fun!" she called out cheerily.

Afterward, she invited you both to her cottage nearby for tea and to catch up. She shared with you her life—all the drama she had to deal with the nobles of the Interior. You shared with her everything you've been through, and she practically gasped louder after each sentence.

Since it was too late, she suggested you both stay the night. "I only have one guest room, and there's only one bed in there. Would that be okay?" she asked. "If not, I can take the sofa tonight, and one of you can take my room."

"No, no, it's alright," you assured her. "Don't trouble yourself. The guest room would be just fine."

It wouldn't be the first time you'd share a bed with him. Sometimes at night, the L/n Quartet would be playing card games in your room, and since everybody was competitive enough and didn't want to get up, you'd all end up falling asleep on your huge bed.

However, you'd never actually slept next to him in the same bed. Entering the guest room, you claimed one side, and he claimed the other. You went into the bathroom first, taking a shower, then came out after your hair was dried and clothes were back on.

"So, what were you and Historia talking about earlier?" you asked, trying to strike up casual conversation.

"Nothing. Just about her life as Queen," he replied, walking past you into the bathroom, closing the door.

ou stood in the same place for a moment. Seriously? In all honesty, you sort of wanted to kick the whole door down and demand him to actually speak a couple more sentences to you rather than basically blowing you off.

But you thought of a better idea, a more risky idea that he'd for sure be forced to focus on you more. So you creaked open the door as the shower was running, slipped your hand in, grabbed something off the counter, and closed the door.

You waited until the water stopped running to talk again. "Hey, you ever wonder how Vinny's doing?"

"Who?"

"The little kid I rescued back then, remember? He's in the Cadet Corps. In under a year, he'll be an official soldier."

"Whatever. Kid never had much of an impression on me anyway." He dried his hair, tidied the bathroom, and put on his clothes. He just noticed one thing missing. Y/n, have you seen my shirt?"

"Over here."

He walked out, turning the corner, and stopped dead in his tracks. You were sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed, wearing nothing but undergarments beneath his white long sleeve, fully unbuttoned.

All thoughts left his mind, and a burning wave flushed across his face. He looked equivalent to a deer in front of beaming lights as he desperately tried to restrict his eyes from traveling anywhere below your collarbones. Even simply doing that seemed to trigger a flight response.

You tilted your head, looking up at him through your lashes. "What're you lookin' at?"

"You—you're—you can't–" He shut his eyes, which was the only way to focus on stringing along the simplest words. "Y/n, what're you doing."

"Trying to see if I can get what I want," you said, wholly enjoying his flustered state way too much to simply just ask him to "pay more attention." Bringing out the shyness in him always seemed to bring your boldness out more. "You want to guess what that is?"

He eventually gave up on looking away, as hearing your voice spoken so sultrily wasn't helping his case one bit. "If—if it's about the shirt—take it. It's yours."

"This? Oh, it's comfortable, but I can't take it. You didn't bring an extra. So, here." You started slipping it off, only to have him reach out and quickly pull it back together.

He tried to calm his pounding heart, but it was made useless when standing right in front of you when you looked like that. Mustering up the patience for himself to speak steadily, he asked, "Y/n, did you drink?"

You simply shook your head. "No."

"You sure? 'Cause I was gone for a minute to bring the horses to the stable, so if Historia had some liquor locked up, then–"

"I want you," you whispered to him. "Now." You uncrossed your legs, slowly spreading them. Once again, he quickly put your knees back together.

He'd never been so impressed by his own self-control. The last time he felt so on edge was probably the first time he saw a titan or something. "Y/n, baby, you know we can't," he whispered back.

You frowned. "Says who?"

"Who?" He looked surprised you even asked that. "The people who want to kill you if you have a child? You know, you're biologically old enough to get pregnant. And I'm ... old enough to cause it."

"Well, I'm sure there are plenty of safe ways to–"

"Even then, there's the bigger risk of the consequences that our enemies would force on you."

Hearing him mention "enemies," you rolled your eyes. "You know, nowadays we disagree a lot. It's either you who cares too much about what the world thinks, and I have to tell you not to, or it's me who begins to care too much, and you tell me not to. Why can't we both just not care? Wouldn't that be so much easier? Wouldn't we be so much happier?"

"Because your life is on the line," he emphasized.

"Both our lives are always on the line," you argued. "Does that mean we stop living it? Stay in the same place forever and never live for ourselves? Do what we want, learn, and try new things?"

"Y/n, you know I didn't mean it like that–"

"Do you even want me like that?" you asked, feeling the bold confidence wavering. "Because if you don't, you better tell me now, 'cause the last thing I'd want is to make you feel uncom–"

"No, no, I want you in every way possible, any shape or form, okay? So don't ever worry," he assured, caressing your face, thinking of a way to flip the perspective to be more understandable. "Let's put it like this. If having a child put my life at stake, would you risk it?"

"I would eat an entire container of flower powder for you," you said without hesitation.

He looked at you incredulously. "No, no, no, don't do that. That would destroy your womb. And it'd probably ruin your body in other ways unimaginable. Y/n—don't hurt yourself for me just because of this–"

"Alright, enough." You swatted his hands away. "You know, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you since apparently talking to your girlfriend seems like too much work. But since you're not even in the mood for anything, I'm not anymore either." You crawled to your side of the bed and pulled up the covers, facing away from him. "And you can have your dumb shirt back." You tossed his long sleeve behind you, uncaring if he caught it or not, and slid on your own clothes.

You'd thought at the least he'd joke and play along with you. And if you were lucky enough, match the same needy mood. But now, you just felt sort of stupid. A slight embarrassment. And a tint of rejection that you didn't think somebody in a loving relationship should be able to feel.

He rubbed his eyes. Damn it, what the fuck did I do again? He blew out the candle and got into bed next to you. He scooted closer. "Psst."

You bunched up the blanket and yanked it all over to your side.

"We've got a lot on our plate right now, we both know that. And sometimes, simply ignoring it doesn't help anymore. But that doesn't mean I don't want every part of you, okay? Just... it's a dangerous time right now. A lot could go wrong. And you know, when everything clears, then we'd have all the time to do whatever we want. Whatever you want."

He knew there was no such thing as "when everything clears." But whenever he was with you, his heart fed into this lovely delusion like it was second nature.

Since he didn't get a sound out of you, he draped his arm over your waist and pulled you in. He knew at least you let him because you wouldn't budge if you didn't want to. He brushed your hair out of the way, burying his face into your neck, kissing it. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, then kissed the back of your shoulder, "I'm sorry," then mumbled the word between every kiss that trailed down your shoulder.

The blankets shuffled, and you flipped over to face him. He was faced with your petty frown, noses just a fingertip away. "If you call me baby again, I'll call you fetus."

He broke out chuckling, trying his best to contain the laughter because Historia's room was actually right down the hall. Seeing him smile, you could not help but reciprocate. "Come here." He closed the gap between his and your lips, the previous tension mending into passion. You wrapped your arms around his neck, hands sliding down to feel up his biceps, running down his toned chest. His hand went to the back of your head, pressing you in, and grabbed your thigh, hooking your leg over his hip.

Each minute made up for every one he missed. Though things never escalated above legs tangled and intertwined, hands roaming to places never touched before, mouths meeting places never kissed before, the rest of the moonlit night passed peacefully in each other's warm embrace.

The next morning, you both left early, with Historia reminding you again and again to come visit or else she'd become too lonely.

Before noon, your stomach started grumbling, having had no breakfast. Eren reached into the saddle bag and cursed under his breath. "I forgot to take the packed meal that Historia spent all morning preparing." And then he looked away to avoid your judgmental scowl.

You both redirected the course, stopping at the nearest town. You stayed with the horses outside since you couldn't be seen anywhere without a hat. He entered into town by himself.

For two people who basically have access to as much money as they want, neither of you remembered to bring much money. All he had was a few coins in his pockets as leftover change from a while ago. He bought some food in the marketplace and a potato souvenir for Sasha like you told him to.

He got out of the way just as some guy with a wagon wildly rushed past, and though Eren was alright, the wagon accidentally knocked over some nearby shop stand. "Asshole!" Eren called after him, crouching down to help gather stuff. "Sorry about that, ma'am."

"Thank you, young man." The old woman gently smiled, her wrinkles coming off more friendly than off-putting. "Please, for my gratitude, take anything to your liking."

"Oh, I couldn't," he politely told her. "I'm low on change."

"Then for free, I insist. These are all handmade by local artisans, one of a kind, never worn before," she joyously said, gesturing to the little wooden boxes and hanging racks of antique pottery, clothes, hats, and whatnot.

The longer he looked at her, the more familiar she seemed. But that made no sense since he barely associated with anyone besides Scouts, no less the elderly people. He managed a polite smile, nodding out of courtesy. He checked out the stuff at the little shop. Truthfully, there wasn't a single thing that he needed.

The old lady seemed to notice his unknowingly blatant disinterest as well. "If not for yourself, then for a friend? Family? Loved one? Do you perhaps have a lover?"

"Yeah, I have someone," he said, a smile naturally forming.

"Someone special, I hope?"

"Very. The special person in the world to me."

"Then I think I may have just the right thing for you." She bent over behind the stand, rummaging in the back cabinet, and held out a tiny wooden box of jewelry. Necklaces, bracelets, rings. "Trust me, girls love jewels."

Just as he was about to tell her it must be too expensive, a particular something caught his eye. He picked it up before thinking. A silver band with a glistening f/c gemstone. It surprised him how easy it was to imagine you wearing this on your ring finger.

"I think she'd love this. Since she's your special someone, it's about time for the big ask, isn't it?"

"Oh—we're not—we're not old enough. To marry, I mean." Right after those words left his mouth, his stomach twisted a little. Would we ever be old enough to marry?

"Then it can just be a promise ring," she suggested.

He glanced up. "A promise ring?"

"To promise the same devotion as spouses would, that is to love each other forever. Until you both are ready to take the next step, of course. It can still be as significant as an engagement ring, though. Same proposals, same vows, and everything."

A promise to love each other forever. He did not need to be convinced any further. "Yeah, I'll take it." He reached his hand into his pocket to pay, only to be reminded that he was out of charge. He looked down at the potato souvenir. Sorry, Sasha. "I'm going to return this and be right back-"

"Nonsense, just take it."

"For this? No, ma'am, this is way too beautiful just to be given away for free–"

"If this someone is as special as you've said, then love costs nothing. It's priceless. So take it, young man, and make her the happiest girl in the world." She took out a tiny drawstring bag and helped store the ring inside, then placed it back in his palm.

He thanked her with the utmost appreciation, and she sent him off with a cheery wave of her hands. When he got far enough, he realized he never asked for her name, and he was about to turn back when somebody else called that woman into a nearby restaurant. "Mildred," the name seemed to be.

Eren thought long and pensively on the way about if he'd ever heard of a Mildred before, but it left his mind the moment you called his name.

"I've been starving! What took you so long? Did you get trampled on the way or something?"

He tossed you an apple first, which you immediately dug into, chewing with your brows crossed. "I think you've been hanging around Sasha too long."

"Did you get the potato souvenir?"

He showed it before putting it into the saddle bag.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Race you there?"

"Hey, that's not fair. Everyone knows my horse is a damn coward."

"Too bad!" You flicked the reins, getting a head start.

He had no choice but to keep up, caging in insults he wanted to shout at his horse in case it understood him and wanted to throw him off its back. As he and you continued the way back, he could feel the ring in the bag safely stored in his pocket.

. * . *

Days passed, and soon it was the night before the departure to Marley. The perfect night, as Shiganshina was holding a lantern festival. All of you had moved your belongings into Shiganshina's HQ for the night to make it. Some of the Scouts also tagged along as a night off.

The air vibrated with music and dancing, smelling like great food and great beer. The serene moonlight seemed insignificant compared to the warm, colorful lanterns floating over your heads, painting each person a different hue.

You went to the nearby bar, trying your luck to see if you could secure two beers. Eren waited outside in the meantime. Although you both looked the same age, one of you could act more mature than the other.

Somebody tapped his shoulder, and he leaned away in reflexive disgust upon seeing who it was.

"Just wanted to remind you that about the thing, I'm in," said Floch determinedly.

"What thing?"

"You know," Floch glanced around to make sure nobody important was around, "your plan. To pretend to follow Zeke's plan, then backstab him and fight for our nation–"

"Floch, there is no plan," gritted Eren, instantly pissed because his perfect night just got intercepted by this headache again. "I just said that to get you off my back—you think I was being serious?"

Floch had the nerve to look betrayed. "So you would let Marley get its way with Eldia?"

Eren scoffed. "Do not put words in my mouth. I meant that-"

"I failed," you announced, coming out of the crowd. "They didn't believe me when  I said 'I'm in my twenties.' They asked me to take off my hat, so I said no. And then, the other people in line shouted at me not to hold up the line. You know, for the first time ever, I really wanted to take the hat off and show them who they were yelling at. Unbelievable." You glanced at Floch. "What're you doing here?"

"I'm–"

"Bothering me with change for the raffle tickets," said Eren, putting an arm around you. He shot a sharp look at Floch, flickering his eyes to the side as to say, "beat it."

Floch scoffed and did end up fading into the crowd. Eren took your hand, leading you the other way. When you were nearing the entrance of the festival, you asked him where you both were going. All he told you was, "It's a surprise."

You followed him to the outskirts, heading up the hill. "Are you ever going to cut your hair?"

"I thought you liked my growing hair."

"I do, but you never really seemed like the type of guy to grow long hair."

He turned over his shoulder. "You know other guys who grow out their hair?"

You snorted. "Are you going to style it, at least? Maybe a braid? A ponytail? A man-bun?"

He grimaced. "If I ever have a man-bun, know that I've gone off the deep end."

He stopped in the middle of the grass plains, right by the grand tree that you remembered he used to take naps under. He took both of your hands in his and inhaled a deep breath. Come on. You had all week to prepare for this. "Y/n. I know you're wondering why I brought you here–"

"I am, because Mikasa signed up to arm wrestle with Levi, and I really want to see it–"

"But I have something to tell you. I thought it'd be the perfect place 'cause, you know, Shiganshina was where we began. I've known you for practically my whole life. We've been through a lot. The good and the bad. And I know you and I don't have much time–"

"I was enjoying this little speech until you brought that up again. I'm seriously going to run off if this is what you're going to make this night about–" You cut yourself off the moment he dropped down on one knee.

He lowered his gaze, suddenly too nervous to meet your eyes. "Um." He slid his hand into his pocket. "Don't panic, but–"

"What the fuck."

He slowly, carefully took out the ring from the drawstring bag, still unable to meet your eyes. "This is–"

"Eren, this isn't funny. You can't joke about something like this." Your heart was quickening by the second, apprehension building up in your chest, feeling like your legs might make a break for it any second. "There's things to fuck around about, but never this–"

"I'm not joking," he told you, finally meeting your eyes. He held up the ring. "This—this isn't exactly an actual engagement ring, but–"

"Oh." Your face relaxed in an instant, replaced with an odd look.

"But it basically is! It isn't any less significant," he hurriedly added. "This is a promise ring. A promise that no matter what, you will never have to question how much I love you because I'll always be by your side, no matter what comes between us." No matter who forces me to. "And you know—one day, we'll probably get married. I mean, definitely. That's the plan. But based on the shit we're dealing with right now, we've got a lot on our hands, and it might take a while for things to settle down, but–"

Before he knew it, you had flung your arms around him, knocking him backward, tumbling the both of you down the grass hill. He landed beneath you, his neck being squeezed so hard that he barely choked out, "Y/n—I can't—I can't breathe."

"Say you mean it!" you shouted by his ear, deafening his eardrums, but your grin was so wide that your cheeks began to hurt. "Say you're not joking!"

He patted your arm to loosen, and when you did, he broke into a fit of coughs. "Yes!" He coughed again. "Yes, I mean it! I would never joke about this! I meant it a thousand times over–"

Continuing the current pattern of never letting each other finish a sentence, you cut him off with a kiss. When his hand went to cup your face, you broke off. "Wait, this isn't about last night, right?"

"Huh?"

"This isn't 'cause you felt pressured to take a next step or something, right? 'Cause if that's the case, then I'd rather this not be–"

He shut you up with his lips, flipping you over onto your back so that he hovered over you. He brushed your hair out of your face so that he could see his favorite smile more clearly. "No, I did this because I love you, okay? And now, you don't ever have to doubt us again–"

"I fucking love you!" You squeezed him in a hug, which he returned immediately, and you both held each other so tight for a while, never letting go. Until you broke the silence. "So... where's the ring?"

He blinked and patted his pocket. "Fuck, I think it fell out of my hand."

You broke out laughing, making him laugh with you. The two of you spent the next few minutes searching for it in the tall grass. Eventually, it was you who found it lying by the roots of the grand tree.

You slid it on your ring finger, admiring the gleam, instantly falling in love with what was easily the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen. Even though you'd never seen much jewelry in your life besides the crowns, you needn't see anything else after this either.

"So, do you like it–"

"Like it? I fucking love it! Where'd you even get this?"

"On our way back from the Reiss lands, we stopped by that town, remember? I helped a nice old lady, and she offered this. Don't know who it was, though."

With intertwined fingers, you both headed back the way into the festival, full of excitement to share this big news. You'd never felt happier in your life like you were floating above the clouds, and you never wanted to come back down to the ground again.

Eren had never been more satisfied with himself. He'd finally chosen, and that was the life with you, no matter how short it could be. He was rejecting his fate, and he'd never felt so happy about being selfish. Even if his mind told him this was a mistake, his heart overpowered it by so far that all doubts seemed trivial, and the only important thing was that it was finally you and him.

*

i am SO EXCITED for yall to read the next chap. if you didnt have enough of a love/hate relationship with me already, just you wait.

due to popular demand, my next work is probs gonna be a college eren au. with my own lil twist because frat boys disgust me. I do gotta honor the 2021 toxic manbun eren tho. (but also dont fret yall kno i can write a man who loves u). drop ur idea requests in the comments here and i'll make a note of them and see what i can do!

also i made a tiktok account @ galvanizedpinksteel, might start postin??? dunno yet, but wud love to make some friends from here to there!

p.s., anora swept the oscars! yay!