...Deceiving...
"Keep searching! We will not return until we recover the subject!"
Marleyan and Eldian soldiers alike searched the rustic, lifeless battlefield. It'd only been barely an hour or two since word got around through the telegraphs that somebody important was missing. One ship turned back to search.
"But everything's ash and dust," complained a Marleyan man. "There's no way we're goin' to find some girl here. Nothing alive could've survived the heat."
"They should've just searched the airships more thoroughly," added his friend. "Little girls get scared of real wars all the time. Search the barrels. Maybe she's hiding somewhere."
"Quit complaining!" scolded his superior. "We're under direct orders from the General. Need I remind you that this isn't just 'some girl,' but the Fritz-Ackerman and the only reason we won this battle. If we want more victories for the Motherland, we need her. So keep searching!"
The Marleyan treaded through the demolished tents littered with shattered debris. "Eldians and their freak blood," he mumbled to himself. "First, they're man-eating monsters into titans, then now one of them's blood can light on fire? I need a fucking break. What type of girlâ" He froze in his tracks and aimed his flashlight at the rubble. "Commander!"
The rest of the soldiers shone flashlights at the collective point. The Commander picked up a ripped piece of blue fabric from the ground. "Honorary armband." He kneeled and removed the tent scrap covering a figure. The reveal brought several shocked gasps.
The clothes had burned tips and cuts all over, and sleeve and a pant of the uniform was missing. But that was all. There wasn't a single scratch on the body. Plenty of blood stains, but they couldn't determine a single wound. Not a blemish on the skin. Not a limb torn. This case looked nothing like a corpseâmore like somebody who decided to lie down and take a nap.
The Commander rested two fingers on the neck. A moment of wait went by. "There's a pulse." Then he hovered his finger under the nose. "And still breathing. This is her! The Fritz-Ackerman is found alive!"
The aircraft dropped a stretcher down. They carefully loaded the body onto it, letting the stretcher start pulling it up.
The Marleyan scratched his head, slightly baffled as he watched the stretcher slowly rise. Isn't she a bit too young? By now, everyone had heard of this flame-blooded Eldian savior. They made her seem like a beast of a warrior, like a goddess. But up close, he saw the truth: That's just a kid. At best, a teenager.
As the stretcher lifted to his eye level, he noticed something strange on the face. A pair of dried, bloody handprints on the cheeks like somebody else had cupped it, held it.
* . * .
Zeke hastened through the halls of the hospital, heart racing in unease. She survived, he realized. Somehow, she actually survived.
Magath and the other Commanders celebrated the news with the Warriors and the candidates. But Zeke couldn't afford to join in on their joy. If the truth got out of what happened, of what he had done, he couldn't imagine what kind of irreversible plight he'd find himself in.
I have to get to her first. He had to talk to you and convince you to keep quiet. He didn't know how he could possibly get you to comply, but he had to try. He'd think of whatever deal attractive enough to strike. He'd use whatever leverage or threats he could think of. And in the worst-case scenario, physical force could be an option. Though, he'd rather not.
He nearly collided with Dr. Galliard, who had just come out of room 139.
Before he could apologize, she cut him off. "It's a miracle," she said in amazement. "You would not believe this, but there is not a single wound on her!"
He had to run her words through his head twice, and even then, he thought he misheard. "That can't be possible."
"But it is! I originally suspected she may have similar regenerating abilities like a titan shifter, but that doesn't explain her past wounds that needed medical care. Did you know she could do this?"
He peeked into the room, but the door blocked the bed from his angle. "I had no idea. Truly, thisâthis isâ"
"Remarkable," she gushed. "Just simply incredible. But Zeke, I do have to ask: what happened? I heard she fell when the airships were still aflight!"
He prepped himself for the alibi he had rehearsed. "I left for one second, and when I returned, she was gone. I thought she went to help with the barrels, but nobody could find her. She must've tipped off balance."
Dr. Galliard sighed. "Clumsy girl. Magath shouldn't even have brought her into war. She would've been much more useful here, guarded in safety."
Before Zeke replied, there was the rustling of blankets. Dr. Galliard pushed the ajar door all the way open. "Finally, you're awake, dear. Must've been a long dream. How're you feeling?"
Zeke watched you sit up from the bed, very much alive, and panic boiled in him. What do I do? We're not alone here. How can I get Galliard out of this room? Can I lie my way through it? Can I make a deal with her? How can I persuade her? Then he wondered, Why had I even pushed her?
You only blinked at the doctor. "Huh?"
"How're you feeling?" she repeated, handing you the water by the nightstand. "We were just talking about how miraculous you returned without a scratch. The most impressive thing I've ever seen, truly."
"What?" You glanced down at yourself, picking at the hospital clothes. "What is this?" You patted down the blankets and the bed. "Where am I?"
"The hospital, silly," she said endearingly. "You've been here before, in the same room. Don't you remember?"
You looked back at her, studying her face. "Do I know you?"
Her smile dropped. "I'm sorry, can you please repeat yourselfâ"
"Who are you?" You glanced at the second person at the door. "And who're you?"
Zeke felt a pang of shock, followed by a spike of suspicion. "You...you don't know who I am?"
You snapped your head to the window. Birds chirped outside. Branches bristled. You turned back to them with an utterly lost expression. "I, uh..."
Dr. Galliard quickly pulled over a chair and took out a notepad. "Darling, can you tell me your name please?"
You squinted your eyes, showing a pensive look on your face. "I don't...know?"
She scribbled something down. "Do you know where you are?"
"I think you said a hospital room?"
"Country, Y/n. Do you know what we call the Motherland?"
"Who's the mother?"
She scribbled again. "Do you know who the Fritz-Ackerman is?"
After a brief pause, you pointed at the man. "Is that him?"
She abruptly got up, her facial muscles forced still, but her eyes betrayed her dread. "Excuse me," she quietly said. "I will be right back."
"Bye," you mumbled, watching her hurry out.
Zeke couldn't leave just yet. He couldn't fathom that this could be true. No stars could align this perfectly to gift this level of flawless luckâit just seemed too good to be true.
"Excuse me, can you please pass that? Since you're not leaving yet?" you asked, pointing at the fruit bowl on the dresser.
He handed it to you and took a seat, watching you pick the grapes off the stems. No. His eyes narrowed. It's far too good to be true. "Y/n, are you comfortable answering some questions?"
"If you'll stop staring at me creepily like that, then yeah."
"Do you remember what happened to you a few nights ago? In the Battle of Mideast?"
You paused your chewing, eyes growing wide. "I was in a battle?"
"It was a victorious night. But an unfortunate incident happened. You lost your balance while carrying heavy barrels across the airship and fell out of the open entrance. It took the troops hours to find you."
"I...what?" You distastefully looked at your clothes and the bed. "Is that why I'm in a hospital? Because I fell? God, that's a stupid thing to do," you muttered the last part. "Wait. If I fell out of an airship...how am I alive? How was I even found?"
"The soldiers located you on the battlefield. Theoretically, you should be dead, Y/n, but you're not. You have not a single broken bone. Quite the shock when everybody learned that."
Your eyebrows furrowed. "...So did I even fall or what? How could you guys have found me without aâ"
"Quit the act, Y/n."
"Huh?" You leaned forward to hear him better. "What did you just say? An Act?"
"This act you're putting on, pretending you don't remember anything. I can see through you, it's not difficult. But you can stop now. It won't work on me."
Gradually, your face morphed from slight startlement to irritation. "What is wrong with you? Believe me, sir, I'm just as confused as anybody. Do you think it's easy for me? My mind is a complete mess right now. I don't know who you are, I don't know who that lady is, and I sure as hell don't know where the hell I am. Talking about 'putting on an act' for youânarcissist, much? Who even are you?"
He remained reactionless. "I'll give you two choices. One, you drop the lies, and you and I can start over. I will hold no grudges, and neither will you. Two, I go to Magath and persuade him to move up the attack on Paradis. We'll have it launched by the end of this week."
"Hold on, sirâyou're talking about places andâand people who I do not know a thing aboutâand what is Paradis? Can we start there, please? What is a Magath? And attack? What do you mean by that? And..." You looked at him skeptically. "Why would you have a grudge? What did you do?"
Zeke was getting nowhere with you. He couldn't tell if you were lying or speaking the truthâhe just didn't know. He couldn't read you, and it frustrated him deeply.
So he stood up, smoothing out his clothes. "You should get some rest, Y/n."
"You're leaving? But you haven't answered my questions. "
"Dr. Galliard will return to answer the rest. For now, just stay and wait for her. Oh, and before I forget," he said, taking a small pouch from his pocket and setting it on the table. "This is for you. I'll see you soon."
After the door clicked shut, you waited until his footsteps drowned out. Then you went straight for the table.
You pulled out a pair of black leather gloves. Thin, but secure enough not to not reveal any spot of flesh.
"You son of a bitch, Zeke."
You tossed the gloves at the wall.
Of course you didn't lose your memories "again."
It was a judgment call and it turned out it was the correct choice. The first two faces you were met with were the doctor who harvested blood from your veins and the man who attempted to murder you. In that split second, you let your mind succumb to an impulsive instinct. You've played the memory loss girl once before, surely you could play her again.
Had you exposed Zeke, you didn't expect them to believe you. He was their War Chief. You were just their lousy blood machine. They'd probably take his word over yoursâbecause he wouldn't admit shitâand label you mentally unstable. If that had played out, it'd open a chance for Zeke to come back a second time to finish the job possibly.
You slid on your shoes, hugged the fruit bowl, and left the room.
The only truth of your performance was that you genuinely did not know how you were still alive, still walking, still breathing. The memory of that pain still lingered in your muscles as you moved. The lack of feeling in your legs, the ribs that tore into your organs, the burn wounds.
Maybe you had regenerating abilities that came last minute. Maybe some saint or angel found you on the battlefield and stitched you up themselves. Maybe you made a deal with the actual devil. Or maybe that night, along with the past half of the year, was just one big nightmare you were yet to wake up from. Wouldn't that just be amazing?
As you headed for the entrance, somebody had just been heading in. Porco smiled upon seeing you. "Got the word that you didn't get blown to bits. I'm glad."
"Sorry?"
"Uh, you know, 'cause you fell? I don't want to laugh, but that sounds like something you'd do." Then he noticed the lack of recognition in your face. "Don't you remember falling?"
"I actually...don't remember anything." You watched his face blank out. "Um, excuse me." You left him ogling at the back of your head. He'd find out from his mother sooner or later anyway.
You strolled in the garden grounds of the hospital, munching on the fruit bowl.
Something felt different. You didn't know if it was the air or just you. You were so much more aware of your surroundings, so much sharper in mind. Your heart quickened as you walked past any stranger, and your ears easily picked up on any noises in your vicinity.
And then you understood that it was just simply fear. Which was strange because that feeling had always been so foreign to you. But that was before you trusted the enemy and nearly cost you your life. It was before you realized that anybody in this place could very well be capable of doing what Zeke had done to you. If he didn't finish the job, somebody else here might.
You had to get yourself out of this place. It was no longer safe to stay. This was no vacation getaway, the excuse you deluded yourself in when you first got here. This had always been an imprisonment, and you finally wanted free.
You were starting once again with a blank slate, and this time, you would not play into their hands anymore. You were playing to win. You would play yourself off this board. Nothing was stopping you, even if you were to tear out Zeke's heart with your bare hands.
. * . *
For the first time in Paradis' history, the island was clear of titans.
The scouts rode past the greenlands, past the forests, towards the sands. The most recent Training Corps had just produced brand new soldiers, and a couple chose the Survey Corps.
When asked for their reasons, a few of them claimed they wanted in on recovering you. Eren knew he was being too sensitive, but he could not help but think annoyedly She's already got our friends and me to care about her. She won't need anybody else.
He suddenly called for a halt. He hopped off, reaching for something shiny that had caught his eye, picking up a knife buried in the sand.
"Eren, what'd you find?" asked Hange. "Reminder: you're holding all of us up."
"This was hers." He helld the knife up. "She called it 'Bolt.'"
"Bolt?" repeated Hange.
"After Bertholdt."
Connie snorted and shook his head. "God, I miss her."
"Sorry about the hold up." Eren stuffed the knife into the bag of his horse and joined the others as they continued.
They rode past the platforms where the Marleyans used to turn Eldians into titans and send them off into the wild like setting pigs free. "If we're already here, that means just up there is what you've been waiting for, Armin."
Armin smiled. He wanted to reply, "what you've been waiting for, too," but he knew better.
Their shared dream hadn't been equally prioritized for a while now. The more their perception of the world grew, the more their ideas and dreams changed. The sea still remained at Armin's top of the list. He wanted to believe that Eren's priority was to get the girl he loved back, but on some days, he wasn't very sure.
Eren started becoming more interested in world affairs. In the government. Morals and liberty. He had never been so fond of them before, and though Armin deemed it strange, it wasn't alarming enough to be called out on. Maybe he just hneeded a distraction from the pain.
Up at the cliffside, the Scouts were gifted with the astonishing view of the cerulean sea. A vast, gorgeous, glittering ocean.
When they got down there, Armin picked up a shell as he allowed the water to wash up onto his ankles. The rest of his friends were playing around, throwing things from the water at each other. All besides Levi, who strictly stayed out of the water. Even Mikasa mustered up a brighter smile for the first time in months.
"You see, Eren? It's just like I told you," said Armin with his childlike wonder. "A body of water so big that merchants could spend their whole lives and still not get all the salt out! It's been true all along!"
"Yeah. the sea," muttered Eren, not even trying to match Armin's excitement. "It's just...so damn big." And I have never hated it more.
"Right! And just like you said, on the other side of the wall, free-"
"Freedom's waiting," Eren finished for him. He snorted. "That's what we once believed, right? But we were wrong. It's not 'freedom' waiting across this sea. It's our enemies. It's exactly as it was in my father's memories."
The others had stopped messing around to listen. Connie was almost tempted to call him out for his depressive episode, but Jean and Sasha shook their heads.
Eren pointed a finger to the horizon and his heart ached like bread dough being kneaded. "If we cross the sea and we kill our enemies...will all of this end? Will we be free?" In a quieter, softer voice, he added, "And will she?"
Nobody wanted to answer him at first. Usually, they'd just let him be depressed in the corner, but Armin mustered up the courage. "Of course, Eren, we'll bring her back with all we've got."
"Armin, it's been over half a year," he said just above a whisper, only for the two of them to hear. "You can't keep telling me the same thing over and over again."
"Well, what else do you want me to say? That no, she won't be coming back? I can't do that, can I?"
Before Eren could answer, Connie asked aloud, "What's that over there?" Everybody turned to something green floating on the water.
Eren treaded forward through the water until it was up at his neck. He grasped the flowy piece of green rag and brought it back to the shore.
"Is that her cape?" asked Sasha. "How come it's so..."
"It's the water," said Hange. "It must've been in the sea ever since she left. It's been decomposing for over six months."
Half a year. Eren knew that because he had been counting the time passed day by day. He was already 16. She should be 17.
He gently clutched the cape close to his chest, careful not to disintegrate the damaged fabric. Soon, Y/n, I promise. He was well aware it was an open-ended promise. He had neither a way nor the power. But that didn't change just how goddamn much he wanted you back at his side.
Whether he had to count on pure idealistic faith or foolish sheer luck, as long as in the end he'd get you back, he was willing to become the most gullible fool there would ever be.
*
The crackfic hashtag is still catfishing new readers i see
and again stoppp trying to cancel me for the cat stuff in the earlier chaps ði promise i dont support animal violenceððð
(im not madð, just startled)