...Standing...
Grandma Jaeger was a fairly lovely lady.
When you weren't on military grounds, you were stuck in the house, either jotting down anything useful in the journal or rolling in the sheets in boredom. So she'd started inviting you out with her into town.
You'd accompany her to the grocery store, observing fruits and vegetables you never knew existed before. She'd even bring you to the park to meet her elderly friends, to which they'd all first softly pinch your cheeks and comment on how cute you were but immediately school themselves into forced respect when Grandma Jaeger would introduce who you were.
The way people treated you was so different than what they used to. At least in your orphanage years, people viewed you for who your reputation showed you to be. It was your call, even if the majority feared or disliked you. Now, you could earn respect just by sharing your surname. It all just felt so fake.
Pretty soon, word spread around Liberio about their new "savior, " the girl who would liberate them from their oppression by saving the world, or so the rumors went.
The only place you were complacent with going was the local pharmacy, where Grandpa Jaeger needed his medications weekly. The clerk at the counter was a grouchy old man with tan skin and a dull, red cap. He never initiated conversation, never seemed to care who you were, and that made you appreciate him.
After going the first time with Grandma Jaeger, you were allowed to go every weekend alone. Especially without another elderly person, there wasn't much similar ground for conversation with the old clerk anyway.
But one weekend, Grandma Jaeger came along to pick up something new from Grandpa Jaeger's new prescriptions. As she discussed the meds with the old clerk, you finally had time to wander into the aisles.
There were meds for every sickness possible, yet back home, there were still people who'd die from the flu. You wondered if you could sneak some back home for them to study but realized the flaw in that they might not even have the right resources in the first place.
Then, your eyes came across a tiny jar of fiery-hued powder. On the label, an illustration of a pretty orange flower with white frilled edges read "Peacock flower powder." You caught a whiff of a delicate and sweet scent.
"Do not touch that!"
You backed up so fast that it made you a bit light-beaded. "I didn't touch itâ"
"Oh, dear," she rushed over, "you didn't consume it, did you?"
"As in eat? No, I just smelled it a little."
She threw a worried look at the clerk, but he shook his head uncaringly. "Smelling it won't cause any effects."
She let out a relieved sigh. "Dear, you should never concern yourself with that. Ever, do you hear?"
"Why, what is it?"
"Peacock flower powder," said the clerk. "Used to cause miscarriages on purpose. And if consumed in whole amounts, can very possibly cause infertility for life."
Your eyebrows flew up. "Oh."
Grandma Jaeger gathered up her things. "I shouldn't be surprised of the youth's curiosity. But please, Y/n, be careful. If you intake that, there's no going back."
"Yeah, got it," you quickly assured, eyes flickering back to the tiny jar. It made you feel eerie how such a little thing could cause humongous consequences.
"Sorry for any inconvenience caused," she told the clerk, shaking his hand. "Thank you for your help today, Mr. Leonhart."
Your eyes grew wide.
"No inconveniences, Mrs. Jaeger."
You stuck your hand out, too, eyes stuck on him. "Yeah, thank you, Mr. Leonhart. Just realized we've never actually properly met. I'm Y/n."
"I know who you are." He shook your hand loosely. "The Fritz-Ackerman from Paradis who has no memories of her past. Not of anything, nor anyone."
There was suddenly a mouthful of things you wanted to tell and ask of him. That was the father of someone you used to know well. But you had a feeling he wanted nothing to do with you. Because he was under the impression that you had the possibility of knowing his daughter, but wouldn't remember a single thing. In other words, you were useless to him. And that, though you wished for something different, was the best outcome in your favor.
* . * .
"Falco, don't show your discouragement on your face. Gabi can see it clear as day. That's how she defeats you. And Gabi, that's just Falco. Lay off a bit."
"It's not my fault there's a huge gap of a difference between our strengths!"
"I said to lay off. I didn't say talk back."
Gabi muttered something under her breath before getting back into her stance. You were the spectator for their sparring, and so far, Falco hadn't won a single match yet. Though he never backed down nor gave up, she always won.
Once again, she flipped him over to the ground with a thud. "This is so unfair! Ms. Y/n, I want to fight someone stronger!"
"Maybe if you were more likeable. The other candidates don't even want to step an inch near you."
"No, I meant someone like you!"
You yawned and massaged the bridge of your nose, soothing out the surprising ache behind your eyes. "You think you could stand a chance?"
"I'd at least learn a little something. I can't learn anything with him."
"That's not a bad idea," said Falco, rubbing the back of his head that he had fallen on. "I could use a little break."
"Fine." When you stood up, a wave of dizziness struck your mind. You blinked a few more times, ridding the blackness that clouded your vision.
"Ms. Y/n, did you get enough sleep last night?" asked Falco.
"Yeah." You rubbed your eyes as you made your way onto the field. "More than usual."
Something that never used to happen was starting to interfere with your everyday life. You started sleeping more. It wasn't a new choiceâyou'd randomly get more sleepier during the day, end up going to bed early, and waking up later than usual. Oftentimes, when you'd stand up after sitting down for too long, it'd take a few seconds for you to truly wake up.
"I won't hold back, so don't hold back either!" she warned.
You snorted. "If I don't hold back, I might kill you."
She charged at you first with a war cry. You held your fists up, but before you could think of a move, your mind suddenly went blank. Your fists loosened u,p and your arms fell limp to your sides. Then your world turned sideways, followed by darkness.
Gabi stopped in her tracks, staring down at your collapsed body. "Ms. Y/n?"
"Woah, you took her down with one hit!"
"I didn't even hit her yet!" She crouched down and poked your shoulder. "Uh, hello? You sure you didn't pull an all-nighter?"
"What happened to her?" Falco kneeled down and flipped you onto your back. You were unconscious, paling quickly, and your lips were turning a deep, cold shade.
Gabi gasped in horror. "I think she just died!"
Falco threw her a baffled look. "No, Gabi, she just fainted. Quick, get Porco. I think something's wrong with her."
She sprinted back into the building and, after a few minutes, returned with Porco. "There she is! She just fainted out of nowhere!"
"Y/n, can you hear me?" He gently shook your shoulders, but you were out cold. He clicked his tongue. "I'm taking her to my mom."
"All the way in Liberio?" asked Falco. "Why not the medics we have here?"
"They won't know what they're doing. Magath assigned her as the only doctor with the authority to treat her." He slid his arms beneath your back and legs and picked you up. "I'm off. Let Pieck and the others know."
In the hospital, Porco waited outside room 139.
The door clicked open, and Dr. Galliard came out. "She's all good. Nothing wrong."
He looked at her in disbelief. "Mom, she fainted without warning. That's not nothing."
"Well, son, that just means the Fritz-Ackerman isn't as strong and durable as we thought she'd be. Seems like the side-effects are finally hitting her system."
Porco furrowed his eyebrows. "Not 'strong and durable'? Mom, are you hearing yourself? She didn't have any side effects for two monthsâany ordinary person would've fainted after their second blood draw after a week."
"But she isn't just an ordinary person. She's the Fritz-Ackerman. There are different standards for her than there are for us."
"Yeah, but she's still just a girl. Special or not, that's still a human being in there."
She smiled softly. "Aww Porco, you've got a crush, don't you?"
"I-" He blinked. "No, Iâthat's not the point."
She chuckled. "It's good that you care for her. She's a fun one. Just don't distract her too much. War Chief Jaeger has big plans for her. She's to serve in the next battle of the Mid-East."
"You mean the one next week? In her condition? You've got to tell him what happened todayâ"
"Porco." Her face melted into strictness. "Don't tell me you've forgotten. She is not just an Eldian, not just one of us. She is the one who is going to save us. The day she destroys the Founding Titan and the Island of Paradis, the world will finally learn to respect us all."
"I know that part. But even then...it's not very fair."
"The world isn't fair. Thought you'd know by now with how many wars you've been in."
"Butâ"
"Porco, don't let the fact slip your mind that she's the Fritz-Ackerman. On the outside, she's just any other teenage girl, yes. Except she is anything but. For as long as she lives, her duty is to serve the world just like her predecessor had and win her subjects our freedom. There's nothing fair or unfair about it. That's just how the world works."
. * . *
"Drink more water and get more hours of sleep."
That was all Dr. Galliard had told you before sending you off to the military base to meet Zeke. You would've argued with her that it couldn't possibly be all you needed since you've literally never fainted in your life. But now, you started to believe in her expertise, as you were starting to believe you actually were indispensable to them.
"Glad you're well," said Zeke when he picked you up at the entrance of the ammunition plant. Maybe you were just imagining it, but he didn't look pleased at all. "I thought that it's about time to show you the progress they've been making with your blood samples. The results will be officially applied into use in the next Mid-East battle, which you will join in." He started leading you through the facility.
"Magath trusts me enough to put me on the actual battlefield?"
"It has nothing to do with trust. He knows that you're a strong soldier, so obviously, he wants to put you to use."
Put you to use. You were well aware the duty of a soldier was to devote your life and be ready to sacrifice at any moment, but the way he phrased it made it sound like sending pigs in a line for slaughter.
"When I was a child, my parents told me many stories about Old Eldia. One that stuck out to me was about the Prince Ackerman and his supernatural blood. The legend goes that Eldia used to infuse his blood into their arrows, spears, and swords to make their weaponry unstoppable. So I suggested we take this myth and try to see if it was real."
"You suggested?"
"I'm the War Chief. I still need to do my job."
In the warehouse, there was a mountain of stacked crates. He pulled out a small wooden box out of one and took out a single bullet. "One box of these contains a single drop of your blood in the gunpowder."
You looked at it skeptically. "What's the difference between this and a regular bullet?"
"Though the main use of your blood is to stop the power of the Founder, it also contains its own mutated science. See for yourself." He handed you a testing pistol and pointed to a target on the wall.
You pulled the trigger and hit Bullseye. The entire target board lit up in flames of a blue hue. "Woah!"
"Not bad, huh?"
You glanced at your veins peeking beneath the skin of your wrist. "This whole time it could do that? Why'd it never light up when I bleed?"
"Everything else is still a mystery. Keep in mind that this myth was a bedtime story for me before it was proven to be true. This new advancement will be employed in all guns, machines, bombs, and cannons."
"Bombs? You guys trying to blow up the whole world or something?" As you mentally noted to find out more about this later to document it, a question spiked you. "Zeke, what would happen if one of these hit the Founder?"
He simply shrugged. "I'd imagine it wouldn't go so well."
"I thought you cared about your brother."
"I do." He put the box back into the crate.
"Then why suggest all this if you knew it can harm him?"
"As I've said." He beckoned you to follow him out of the warehouse. "I have a job to do. A role to play. Things to report."
You narrowed your eyes at the back of his head. "Whose side are you on, Zeke?"
He stopped in his tracks and turned to you with a serious expression. "I do everything in my power for my family and my people. And so do you. So for both of our sakes in keeping peace between us, let us both control our curiosity about each other."
"I'm not able to trust you if I don't know what your angle is."
He continued his way. "My angle is that I do everything for the Eldians' best interest. That's the last time I'll answer you with patience."
.*
.*
The bullies had Armin curled up in a ball in the corner of an alley.
"What's wrong, you whiny shit? Cat got your tongue now that the witch isn't here to save you?"
Armin sniffed. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cryâhe squeaked when one of the bullies' cat jumped out of his arm. It hissed at him.
"Oh, you scared of cats now, too?" He picked it up and shoved it in front of Armin's face. He backed up into the wall. "Seriously? What does that yelling guy and the witch see in you anyway?"
"Hey, we should help him get over his fear!"
The other one pulled on the cat's tail, and it screeched, thrashing its limbs. Its claws dug into Armin's face, and the bullies laughed as he tried to pry it off.
"What's going on there!"
Armin peeked through the boys' legs. Eren landed a punch at one of the boys, who knocked back into another. But the one holding the cat threw it at him. It opened up its limbs and latched onto him.
"Ow! Get off of me, bitch!" He tore it off, leaving a fresh scratch on his cheek. It ran out of the alley.
"Damn it! My dad's going to kill me if it runs off!" A bully angrily pointed a finger at him. "This isn't over! You're lucky it ran off today!"
"And you're lucky Y/n isn't here today!"
"Even if she shows up, we'll just let the cat scratch her face up, too! I know girls hate it more when their looks get ruined! My dad says ugly girls can never get married off!"
"Like hell she's going to let it get an inch near her! And no matter what happens, she'll never be ugly anyway! Not like your mom!"
The bully gasped. "Why, youâ"
"Do you want to get the cat or not?" asked his friend.
As the bullies sashed down the street, Armin suddenly felt an eerie feeling of being watched.
He glanced around and caught sight of some girl watching from behind the corner of an alley. He squinted his eyes. Who is that? Other than her blonde hair, he couldn't see the rest of her face properly.
"Damn, Armin, that doesn't look too good," said Eren, grimacing.
Armin lightly brushed a finger over his stinging, burning face. His finger was wet with his blood. "Yeah, I know," he muttered. "It's over now. That's what matters."
"You just let them do that to you? At least I fought back. What were you doing? Just shutting up and taking it?"
Armin hugged his knees. "I don't know how to fight back..."
Eren sighed. "Well, that's why we have Y/n. Come on, let's get to dad. He'll fix us up."
On the way there, a figure jumped down from the branch right before them. "Boo!" And they screamed. You didn't even let out a laugh yet when your face fell. "What happened to you guys?"
"Nothi-"
"The bullies had their cats scratch Armin up! Thankfully, I fought them off, but that cat got the last winning hit on me," said Eren proudly.
"That looks like it hurts." You balled up the hem of your skirt and lifted up to his face, dabbing the blood.
He hissed and leaned back. Then he glanced down and gasped. He hurriedly pulled the hem of your skirt back down. "Don't do that! Mom says girls have to be extra careful about who they accidentally flash their legs to!"
"But it's just you and Armin. And besides, I don't really care."
"Well, I care!"
Armin's eyes darted back and forth between you and Eren. He gasped. How have I not realized this before? They've got feelings for each other!
"So their cat did this?" You nodded. "Okay. Give me a night. I know what I have to do."
"IâI don't think that's a good idea," said Armin. "They said they'd get their cat to scratch you up if you went to them again."
You shrugged. "Which is more the reason to do what I'll do."
The next day, the bullies didn't find him at all. And later that week, they threw a few insults, but they didn't lay a hand on him. He'd later found out from Eren what you had done to their cat.
Armin still didn't know how exactly feel about the way you protected them. Because it wasn't the most morally righteous angle. However, you produced results. And maybe the soldiers would come back sooner or later. But for now, it was all thanks to you.
*.
*.
Armin rubbed his eyes, walking down the hallway.
He never really dreamt about his own memories anymore, just Bertholdt's usually, or something about the sea. But it was very refreshing to see you again, even if you were eight in his dreams.
But he just couldn't shake out the image of the blonde girl watching. She didn't look one bit familiar. He had a fairly good memory, but he didn't remember anybody who looked like her back in Shiganshina.
Some Scouts passed by him. Floch's shoulder bumped into his. "Titan thief," someone else said.
Armin lowered his gaze to the ground. Just ignore them. He was used to it anyway.
"Why'd Her Highness even choose him?" whispered another. "He can't even speak to defend his own honor. How can he defend hers?"
"Think about it," said Floch. "If she can be friends with someone like him, maybe she's not even as impressive as she makes herself to be."
Armin stopped in his tracks. Floch's words just unlocked something he'd forgotten. He could hear your voice from the day at the honoring ceremony as clearly as if you were right by his ear.
When the hell will you learn to stand your ground? I don't care if you don't feel like you'll ever fit into Erwin's shoes or not. It wasn't your decision, and it's not your fault to feel. Pin the blame on me for all I care. But don't you shut up and take it ever again. You hear me?
He gritted his teeth. Damn it, if not for me, then for her.
"He's just pathetic and weakâ"
"The only person pathetic and weak here is you, Floch."
Floch spun around, eyes flaring. "What did you just say to me?"
Armin stood his ground. Don't you back down now. "You heard me. Pathetic and weak. Words straight out of your own mouth."
"Who the hell do you think you areâ"
"The Colossal Titan. And a member of the Levi Squad. And a frequent battle coordinator. Who do you think you are?"
A heated flush washed over his face. "I'm not the liability that cost Commander Erwin's life!"
"And I'm not a useless Scout whose only talent is running his mouth." God, that felt so good to finally say out loud. "But if you want to keep complaining," he pointed out the window, "the cemetery is that way. You can rant to the late Commander himself about how this choice was unfair. How her choice was unfair."
"How low can you go, bringing her up to defend yourselfâ"
"Floch, you can have as many problems with me as you want. I can stand it. But with this? That means you have a problem with her choice. With her. And I won't stand for that. So, IâI better not hear you complaining about things that can't be changed again. Got that?"
"And what're you gonna do? Punch me? Like you can even try."
"Oh, I'm not going to do anything. I'm just trying to help you. 'Cause the more you talk, the more you make yourself look like an unknowledgeable fool. I'm not even pissed, actually. I just feel a whole lot of pity."
Floch grumbled and stormed down the hall with his friends following.
Armin exhaled and bent over. Sweat dripped down his forehead. I finally did it, Y/n. I'm finally standing up now. Without even thinking, he glanced around with a big smile but forgot in the split moment that you weren't there to see him finally win.
*
Merry Christmas!
We're so back
im excited for next chap teehee
But if i dont update before the new years, happy new year yall!