Chapter 40: Chapter 39

...Ambushing...

Four riders on their horses rode back towards the gates of Shiganshina.

Sasha clutched her hastily bandaged shoulder, poorly reducing her tears to controlled sniffles. Connie was gripping his reins so hard that his palm was burning, his other hand restlessly fidgeted with his collar like he couldn't breathe. Floch had his head dipped in shame. At the front, Jean led the remaining scouts of the Secondary Squad. He, out of them all, was trying his hardest to maintain his rational facade. Yet he couldn't deny with each breath, he could break down like the others in any moment.

"This is wrong," gritted Connie. "We have to turn back."

"Keep your eyes on the road," forced out Jean.

"We can't leave her like this," cried Sasha, failing to suppress the tears pouring anymore. "This isn't fair!"

"She told us to go," said Floch. "We're only obeying orders."

Connie tugged his reins and his horse halted. "To hell with her orders–"

"Connie, we are not leaving her!" Jean stopped as well, and so did the rest. "But we have to face it! How will the four of us ever beat that Beast and his army? We need reinforcements! We need Captain Levi—we need Eren!" He gasped, dread sinking in.

"Fuck, I didn't even think about that yet," said Connie, his hands going to his head. "Forget the rest of them—how the fuck are we going to tell him? He might just kill us first!"

Jean took a deep breath in to calm himself. "We've got two choices here. We pursue the Beast and most definitely get eaten before even getting to her, or we continue back to HQ and return with stronger forces and a better chance."

"Would we even have enough time? They could be long gone by then!"

"You'd rather we die uselessly trying and the rest of them never find out about all this? The longer we argue, the more time we waste!"

Connie let out a frustrated groan. "Ah, fuck it!" He flicked his reins and continued the way to the gates. The rest followed. "Why did she have to be born so special? She would've been just as awesome if she were ordinary!"

Back in HQ, the sun was just setting.

Eren opened the doors to your room. "Does it look decent? Is it okay? Is it special enough?"

"Woah..." Armin had to crane his neck to take in the swarm of bluebell bouquets peeking out from every corner. It was damn near a garden. "Well, it's definitely 'special,'" he said, the abundant scent almost dizzying him.

"Here's the plan: I'm going to bring her in, tell her this sort of ridiculous speech I spent the entire day writing," he waved a folded piece of paper in the air and shoved it back in his pocket, "and then I'll drop those three big words." He sent them a grin, positive he had everything figured out.

"How did you get so much in such a short time?" asked Mikasa, softly kicking a bouquet, rolling it out of the way.

"Had to buy out the entire flower shop's storage for bluebells. Might've overspent a little. But if it's her favorite, then there's nothing I wouldn't buy for her."

"You mean with her money?"

"Mikasa, do you feel joy when you call people out and deflate their excitement?"

"Um, has that always been there?" asked Armin, uncomfortably eyeing the ragged cat against the headboard. "Please don't tell me she got creative enough to take a real cat's skin and stuff cotton inside."

"Come on, she's not that insane. Yet," he said, adding the last bit quieter. "No, she won it at the festival that day."

"The day you got back together?" asked Mikasa. "As in the day you both decided avoiding all problems was the 'perfect solution'?"

"Yes, and it's working perfectly great, so any problem with it?"

Armin shrugged, turning to Mikasa. "Whatever floats their boat, I guess."

As she was about to remark, footsteps trampled down the hallway and figures poured into the room.

At first, Eren wasn't even comprehending what was going on. Jean and Connie rattled over each other, Sasha had a wound, Floch cowered in the corner, and not one failed to look miserable. But then Mikasa and Armin barged in, talking over each other, demanding answers with horrified expressions. Then he scanned over the heads. She's not that short, and usually she's the first one here to see me. Where is she? Then finally, it snapped to him.

Next thing he knew, he had Jean's collar in his fists. "What are you talking about?! What do you mean she's been taken?!" His rage reached the pinnacle easily. "Tell me now! Where is she?! With who?!"

"The Beast Titan! He took her!"

"Wh–" Eren was suddenly yanked out of the way, caught by Mikasa and Armin. A firm hand set on Jean's shoulder, and he slowly and fearfully glanced back.

Levi, who appeared without warning, had his eyes bloodshot. "Who did you say he took?"

"Y/n," choked out Sasha. "The Beast Titan and his army ambushed us, and then—and then he forced her into a deal and—and she chose us over herself!"

Eren was a few steps out the room when Levi took ahold of his arm. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To find her—where the fuck else would I go?!"

"Without knowing what happened first?" Levi threw him back in and shut the doors. "Calm yourself. We need to know the whole story before taking action. You four have one damn minute to explain what the fuck happened out there."

* . * .

If Levi was ever right about anything, it was that you were the best at staying calm under pressure.

You could've given in to your instincts and blindly attacked the Beast Titan or the pure titans, but you held yourself back. This hairy bitch came with an army and was holding your friends hostage. He came prepared. You weren't that much of a fool to know it wasn't the time to be impulsive.

"Y/n, correct? Nice to meet you." Your only reaction was the glare you enforced. "Not very friendly. That's fine," he said. "First things first, blades down, please. It'll be difficult to converse with someone who looks so threatening."

You snorted. "Okay," you said. "I'll drop them. But you tell your titans to drop my friends, too. And then we can talk about whatever this 'deal' is."

"Unfortunately, you don't get to negotiate here. My apologies for not making that clear from the start."

Though you loosened your grip, you didn't let go. You contemplated your next move. If I move fast enough, I can cut his head clean off before he says his next word.

Then Zeke raised a finger. And Sasha released a shrill scream—the titan grasping her had bitten into her shoulder. You cast your blades across the ground and stuck your hands up immediately. "My blades are down! They're down!" The titan pried its teeth away from Sasha's shoulder. She bit her lip, trying to cage in her sobs. You sent her an apologizing look, but she didn't see. Shit, shouldn't have tested the waters.

"That wasn't too difficult, was it?" The Beast dipped his head, and steam exited his nape. Out came a blond man, wiping his glasses before putting them on.

"Oh, I was hoping my brother Eren would've been here," said Zeke, glancing around. "But I guess we can't always get what we want. I should count myself lucky enough that I didn't bump into Levi Ackerman either."

You'd never wished more for Levi to show up and steal your show, but that was impossible. Now, there was no way to avoid reality anymore. "What the fuck could you possibly want from us, you hairy bastard?"

He opened his palms up to the sky as if he were to start preaching. "I come here today not to be a usurper but a liberator. And I am here to liberate you, the Fritz-Ackerman. You see, though you were born Eldian, you are a fated outcast of their own home. However, you were made for a different purpose—to share the glory of your blood with the rest of the world. And that is why I'm here today." He held out a hand, like offering a path to paradise. "Come with me back to Marley to fulfill what you were meant to do: become our hero and restore peace in the world, just like your predecessor had done one century ago."

You blinked a couple of times, mouth parted. Under different circumstances, you probably would've broken out laughing. When he'd said Marley would come for you, this was not what you'd imagined. "Anyway." You waved your hands welcomingly. "You and me? Let's go. I'll fight you barehanded, while you can bring any weapon you think necessary to kill me. That's what Marley actually wants, hm? Big deal—everybody wants that. Come on now, get down here."

Zeke looked at you with an irritable amount of genuine pity. "Oh, dear. You seem to be projecting your mistreatment from Paradis onto Marley. But don't worry, this offer is only but a life of glory and valor."

The fuck? "So here's how it'll go," you said, ignoring what he said with his unbearably relaxed voice. "I fight you for as long as you like on my own soil, and you let my friends go. If I win, I might spare you." 'Cause he's still Eren's brother, you kept in mind. "If you win, go ahead and bring my head back to Marley for all I care. Never happening anyway."

"Again, a polite reminder, you don't have the privilege to negotiate against me," he said. "How it'll actually go is you will willingly come with me back to Marley. If you refuse, I will kill your comrades, and you'll be free to live as long as you can. But if I were you, I'd prefer the more peaceful way. It'll save me and my titans a trip to your precious walls."

You didn't have anything else to say. Though it all sounded ridiculous, your guts were telling you that he in fact was telling the truth. But even on that off chance it was real, you couldn't accept it. You couldn't just leave everything behind. Not your home, not your friends, and not possibly Eren.

"Y/n, don't listen to him!" shouted Jean, disregarding the mouth of the titan just inches below his feet.

"Fucking kill us or take us with her!" yelled Connie. "'Cause she ain't fucking going alone, you mutated bear!"

"Please tell me this is a nightmare," cried Sasha.

"Guys, are you serious?!" intervened Floch. "We can't trade four lives for one!"

"Whose fucking side are you on, you dick?!" yelled Connie. "You're naïve enough to believe that deformed piece of hairy turd?! You want her dead that bad?!"

"But she won't die! He said it himself that Marley wants her as their hero! If he wanted her dead, he'd have killed her already! It makes no sense for him to lie!"

"Seems like at least one of you has common sense," said Zeke. "Well, Yn? Difficult decision, I understand. Unfortunately, though I have the patience, I don't have the time. So who will it be? You or your friends?"

You desperately wished this bastard was just a masterful expert at lying who was fooling you by the second. You'd take humiliating your ego over accepting his "truth." It didn't help not having a clearer base of judgment since your knowledge of your predecessor was nearly nonexistent.

But real or not, the fate of your friends' lives was hanging by a thread, and you were the only one who could change that. So you asked yourself: Them or me?

Though your heart was rattling, blood running cold, you managed a tiny smile. Why bother asking? The people I care for or myself? It wasn't even a competition. It never was.

Zeke raised a hand again. The titan above Sasha cracked its jaw wide open, and she couldn't help but scream out as she was slowly lowered down. "Fuck, fuck, fuck—its tongue is fucking gross!" she screeched, desperately clinging to the titan's fingers.

"Deal," you said. "You win, Zeke. I will go with you."

Instantly, your friends broke out in protest, but you didn't acknowledge them.

Zeke hummed. "I'm impressed. You're quite selfless. Wouldn't have expected it with that blood flowing in your veins."

"But you hold your end too," you demanded, pointing a finger. "Let them go back safe and sound, and don't fucking dare make the titans go after them. If you can do that, then," you took in a breath, "then we're done here."

Zeke loosely waved his hand. Your friends all landed on the ground with a thud. Jean and Connie were the first ones up, immediately sprinting your way.

"What're you doing?!" you shouted. "Go! Run away!"

A titan swiped its arm low on the ground, knocking them back. You glanced back at Zeke, who was merging back into the nape of his titan. "I said run! Go back to HQ! Don't come back for me! I'll find a way!" Swarms of thoughts raced through your mind, fighting to be at the tip of your tongue, to become what could possibly be your last words to them. Finally, you realized there was one loose end you wanted to tie more than anything. "Fuck it—just tell Eren for me! Tell him that I lo–"

The Beast Titan's hands pounded on the ground, enclosed around you.

. * . *

"So just because she said run, you actually did?! You left her?!"

"We had no choice! It was either that or fight a dozen titans ourselves—and we have to face it! The four of us were nothing without her! We didn't stand a chance!"

"So you left her?!" Eren repeated himself, unable to fathom it "With that Beast?! To be taken to god fucking knows where?!" Mikasa grabbed his arm but he thrashed it off. "Take me there, right now! They can't have been gone for long!"

"But it's already past sunset," said Floch. "You won't be able to see anything outside the gates!"

"Then you stay here, fucking coward! I don't need useless shits like you! I'll go alone!"

Floch took a step back, eyes wide. "Damn," he muttered.

"No, you won't!" Mikasa clutched his arm again, tighter and unable to be thrashed off. "Without us? Don't forget you're not the only one who cares about her!"

"Jean, do you think you can take us back to where it all happened?" asked Armin, acting the calmest and most collected of them, though he was feeling anything but. It wasn't about being comrades or friends anymore—it was about family.

"Okay, the three of us and Jean is enough. Let's go!"

"No," said Levi.

"Captain, you can't stop us–"

But Levi had already passed him. "Not without me." The rest followed him to get Hange, leaving only Floch and Sasha. But before Eren turned the corner, Sasha had caught up and stopped him, hanging him back.

Mid-blabbering about something, he cut her off. "Sasha, please, I don't have time–"

"No, you listen!" she yelled, shaking his shoulders, straining her own wound. "On our way out the gates, she finally realized it, and I think she was planning to tell you it when she'd come back!"

"What are you—what is this 'it'–"

"She loves you!" she exclaimed. "That's the 'it'! Right before she got taken, she told us to tell you 'cause she can't herself!"

Next thing he knew, he'd outrun everybody else, already in his gear, racing to the stables.

Once upon a time, he would've reveled in hearing those words. He'd have danced to it, praised it, probably wished he could tattoo it. But he'd never thought he'd feel such contempt. All he could think was, It can't be this way. Not after everything he'd been through with you, this was how he'd learn it.

By the others got to their horses, he was already on the road. Levi, the first to catch up, wordlessly tossed him a flashlight. Soon enough, the rest caught up, following Jean as the lead. Hange slipped in a quick comment wishing it wouldn't be another Utgard Castle situation. Even if it would be, that wasn't stopping Eren.

I'm coming, Y/n, I swear. His hand was trembling as he held the flashlight. But unlike that day at the Reclaim of Shiganshina, you weren't there to soothe him.

* . * .

"Just a suggestion, but shouldn't you do something about that scowl? Must be uncomfortable for your face to hold up."

You threw him a burning glare, your expression falling deeper in your scowl.

He'd been walking you across the "desert," as he called it, ever since his titan dropped you off. The fact that you'd never seen this place before meant you were already far from home. It's fine, you told yourself. I'll find my way back.

So as he mildly entertained you with his attempt at small talk, you didn't let your guard down once. Just waiting for that perfect moment.

"Why don't you tell me a little bit about your family?"

"Don't have one. Grew up in an orphanage."

"What about Levi? He's an Ackerman. What a miracle we didn't run into each other. So tell me, who is he to you? Brother? Father? What sort of relative?"

"A captain. That's it."

He raised an eyebrow, looking not too convinced. "I heard there's another one. A girl, I think. Your sister? Cousin?"

"Nope. I don't even know who you're talking about."

"Well, what about your other side? The Fritzs? Any other Fritz-Ackermans?"

"Even if there were, I wouldn't know. As I've said, I'm an orphan."

"So you were not raised royal, like me. And with those amateur soldiers back there, they clearly don't treat you as anyone important."

"Mhm, I'm nobody," you said, lazily agreeing. The lesser he knew, the less leverage he had over you.

"You won't be nobody in Marley. And you certainly won't be disregarded here with me. My mother was a Fritz. Which makes you and me family by blood."

You snorted. Oh, so now you play that card, bitch. "Wow, so happy I'm not alone in this world anymore." In your experience, finding relatives was either a blessing, like Mikasa, Levi, and History, or it was a total and complete disaster. Like Kenny and Rod Reiss. Something told you Zeke would be added to the list right after Rod.

"So what's Eren like?" he asked with much more interest in his tone. "My brother?"

You were quick to reply, "Don't know him."

"See, I don't think that's very true," he said. "My sources have told me you two were practically two peas in a pod. Absolutely inseparable. The best of friends, if not something more."

"Your sources are lies."

"Then why were you so quick to tell your friends to tell him something for you? My hearing may not be the greatest from inside my titan, but I'm positive you may have been trying to say that you lo–"

"Don't bother trying to crack information out of me. Especially about him. 'Cause I can guess what you're planning next. And I'd just like to tell you you'd have to get through me first before you can even touch him."

"Hm? I'm not planning anything. What made you ask that?" Then he parted his mouth, startled. "Oh, you think I want to eat him? Because he possesses the Founder and I'm a royal? No, no, I could never hurt my brother in any way. Though I wouldn't put it past you."

You scoffed. "Whatever you say."

"Tell me, Y/n, have you ever forbidden Eren from transforming into a titan?"

You didn't let your facial expression give away your surprise.

"If you have, then you'd know by now it's because of your blood. The blood that can forbid not only the Founding Titan. You're hurting him, do you know that? With every touch, you're harming him. Destroying him. Stopping him from reaching his full potential–"

"So you have your own motive too, that's to remove me from him so he could fulfill his 'full potential,'" you said, rolling your eyes.

"I'm glad you can understand."

Because of your avoidance pact with Eren, you hadn't thought about this in a while. And clearly, Zeke was exaggerating it, but you couldn't deny he was good at it. It used to be your fear, the reason you had so many arguments, and this blond bastard was using it against you to affect you so well that you could applaud for him.

"Believe me when I say that you're doing him a favor. You're saving him. Trust me, if you truly cared about him, 'loved' him, you'd realize he's better off without you."

"You have no proof to convince me what you're saying is even true."

"I don't need to provide proof; history exists. You see, two people forming a connection is nothing new. But the Fritz-Ackerman and the Founding Titan? That is different. A century ago, a pair of brothers fell into these roles. History tells you what their endings were. Today, a girl and a boy embody the same roles. And god, I couldn't have dreamt of a worser tragedy. I feel for you; I truly do. Which is why I'm here to save you both before history can repeat itself."

You couldn't stop yourself from asking, "What happened to those brothers?"

"One of them died for the other. And that other lived out his life in guilt and agony."

"Who did? What led to that?"

"Let's save this conversation for another time. We'd have much more time anyway."

Your jaw dangled. "You can't just stop halfway and not tell me–"

"But I can, and I don't think you can do anything about it. Because Paradis is decades behind our knowledge, and I don't expect the people of the walls would let you in on their secrets. So have patience for now."

You reluctantly followed him up a hill, debating what to do. Since it was the evening, if you just took off and ran, maybe he wouldn't see you in time. Though that was just stupid. Or maybe at the top, you can push him off, and then run. Though he could get angry and go all titan on you. But also, you had Bolt. Your trusty little knife that you barely ever got the chance to use.

At the top of the hill, your eyes flashed in amazement. Below you was the sea. To call it mesmerizing would be an understatement—the night sky reflected off of the water, making the horizon line almost nonexistent. A ship in the distance and a boat on the shore. It was what you'd been waiting to see for the longest time. But it was not how you'd imagined it.

You wanted to see all of the special places outside the wall with your friends. With Armin, with Mikasa. With Eren. Instead, you were here. And it didn't feel real one bit. How could everything change so drastically within one day?

"Beautiful, right? Across this sea is Marley. The home where you will be accepted, just as your predecessor had been, the Prince Fritz-Ackerman. Where you will be made a hero. I'd say enjoy this view while it lasts. One day, it'll be Marley's too."

You glanced at him. "What?"

"That's just how it works. If people aren't enough, they'll turn to resources. So enjoy the view while it lasts. Come on, let's go." He neared the edge of the jagged mountain.

You stood in place, heart trembling. This was it. There was no other perfect moment, or else it would be a window of opportunity missed. You unclasped your cape and slid out Bolt.

Before he could even take a step down, you already had your cape wrapped over his head, suffocating him. As he clutched on the fabric choking him, you plunged Bolt into his throat. Then you pushed him off, tumbling him down the jagged hill. And you ran.

You knew it wouldn't kill him, but you thought it'd buy you enough time. You were already down the hill when he let out a howl. Then a burst of lightning from the sand. "There's more?!"

You circled around the red-eyed titan emerging from the sand, but it pounded its fist down, missing you by a foot or so. You went the other way, but its other hand came swinging, and you ducked. The next time you aimed to avoid it, it managed to grab onto your ODM gear, lifting you off the ground, but you tore your straps with your bare hands, freeing yourself. While it was distracted with your gear, you had two choices: kill it or run. But you were getting too panicked to think twice. So you ran.

Its hand suddenly splatted you to the ground, and curled its fingers around you, raising you into the air upside-down. "You big bitch! I should've killed you when I had the chance! Let me go!" you screamed at it, kicking your legs in the air, your loose hair hanging down.

But the titan with its dumb, brainless smile trotted up the hill. You bared your teeth and bit down hard into its hand, but it didn't let go, and you ended up spitting out the revolting taste of titan skin. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Your mind was racing to find solutions.

Then, you recalled that day when you managed to stop that titan. Was it a fluke or was it truly your doing? Either way, wondering was useless because you could not remember how you did it. You thrashed your legs, letting out a frustrated groan. Out of any time, I forget it now?!

At the top of the hill, the titan dangled you over the jagged mountainside. "No—no—don't you d–" It let go of you.

By the time you collapsed on the sand, you were pretty sure you'd broken a bone or two. It was not an easy way down—your limbs ached, your skin stung, and you probably hit your head several times.

You lifted your head, prying an eye open. Zeke was sitting upright by the shore, dabbing his neck with his blood-stained shirt. Ah, fuck it. Maybe karma did exist. Since this was the exact way he came down after you pushed him.

"Can't say I didn't expect this," he said raspily, his throat still recovering. "But killing me would not make a difference in the future of this island. So why try anymore, Y/n? I know you're afraid, and I don't blame you. But just give up."

You patted down your thigh strap for Bolt, but it wasn't there. You remembered you'd cut your straps, and it probably fell back there. You glanced at your surroundings for any chance at escape—anything that can help you. But you couldn't think of one more solution.

In the next moment, everything became quiet. You laid your head down on the sand, facing the sea. Your muscles loosened, focusing only on breathing. It was when you realized: fuck, this is it for me.

If only you'd chosen to kill that titan. Or finished Zeke off. Or attacked him even sooner than that. Or maybe if you'd canceled the entire excursion, this all wouldn't have happened.

No, he was already here. He was ready to come to the walls. By falling into his trap, you lured him away.

At least your friends were safe. That was the most important thing to you. I did the right thing, you tried telling yourself.

Across the specks of moonlight on the waves, something green caught your eye. Probably tossed away by Zeke.

Your Wings of Freedom. Now look how free you were without them.

. * . *

An army of red-eyed titans, a horde larger than what they'd encountered in a while, impeded their path in the valley. Just as Hange'd dreaded, these titans were very much conscious even under the moonlight. But the scouts were in the battlefield nonetheless.

But they just kept coming one after the other. If Levi had come by himself, he probably could've single-handedly dealt with all of them. But he had a bigger responsibility: to make sure nobody would get killed or taken.

"This is out of our control!" called out Hange, firing a blue signal, barely visible. "Retreat! There are too many of them!"

Everyone turned their heads in disbelief of what they'd heard. "Commander!" shouted Armin. "But what about–"

"We're not getting her back today!" she replied heavy-heartedly. "It's impossible, and this will be a dead-end for all of us scouts if we don't leave now!"

But Eren kept on relentlessly punching through the titans leeching onto him, gnawing at his skin. I'm coming, Y/n. Wait for me. He ripped out another nape with his titan's teeth. He'd lost count of how many napes he'd bitten off. And it still wasn't enough.

Mikasa landed by his ear. "Eren! Get out! There are too many of them!"

No, there are not! Eren shook her off and hoisted titan over his head, throwing it at two others. Then he heard a slash. After his next blink, he was out of his titan, its nape cut wide open. Gradually, the titans were getting farther and farther right before his eyes.

He pitched himself off of Mikasa's horse and tumbled across the ground.

"Eren!" She pulled on the reins.

Armin stopped too. He got there just in time to wrench away Eren's hand that he was about to bite into. "Eren, stop!"

He turned to his other hand but Mikasa locked her hold on it. "Damn it! Why're you two trying to stop me?! You really want to leave her behind?!"

"We want to get her back as much as you do!" argued Mikasa. "But not like this! Hange's right—we can't get through them! Not this time!"

"If not tonight, then when?! Tell me! Or are we just going to give up?!"

"Do you realize we're entering uncharted territories?!" reasoned Armin. "We're way past where our usual excursions are! We don't know what else is waiting for us out there!"

"Can't you turn into the Colossal to see past them or something?!"

"I—I–"

"No, he can't," said Levi, arriving. "Because he can't control his titan powers yet. And you don't have enough control."

"What the fuck do you mean—I've had control over my powers for so long! I can go back and-"

"And what, die? Because that's all you're going to get yourself into. Face reality, Eren. You don't have full control. You have the power of two titans, yet you're still no match for the Armored."

"But I—I can—goddamn it!" He fell to his knees and pounded his fists into the ground. "Why is this still happening?! After all these years, after everything that's happened—nothing's still changed!" Finally, the tears came spilling down his face like a waterfall. "I promised her! And I'm still not strong enough to protect her! Why?! Why am I still so fucking weak?! Why does the world always get in our way?!"

As he kept screaming his lungs out, Mikasa's eyes started to sting. Soon, she was wiping away the few tears that were slipping out, feeling the same way the day her parents died. Armin, never one able to suppress his emotions, softly cried behind his hands.

"You're right, you are weak," said Levi, crouching down in front of Eren. "The longer you stay here complaining and doing nothing, the weaker you stay. You want to change? Get back home. And get yourself stronger for her."

"How can I leave her?! We don't even know where they're taking her! Or what they'll do with her!" He buried his head in his hands. "God—what if they hurt her? Or it was all a ruse just to kill her after all!"

"Even if it was, we can't do anything about it. Not now. But Y/n is strong, and she...she can be very smart when she wants to. More than we give her enough credit for. What we can do is to trust her. She will find a way to survive."

It was easier said than done. Because threw as nobody else who felt more guilty than Levi himself. That day, just a bit more pressure and Zeke would've died by his hand—why did he not kill him then? Why didn't he chase him down even after he escaped? He wished he'd just done the job. Because though he'd never articulated it, you'd grown on him more than he'd admit, like family.

Eventually, Eren got dragged back on the horse. Back to the gates. Back to Shiganshina. Back to HQ. Further and further away from you.

And then it all dawned on him. He should've never made that avoidance pact with you. Because of it, he'd let his guard down, and so did you. It was never a true solution—and he was finally seeing that now. It was an utter disaster that brought nothing but shortlived joy.

If he could go back in time, he would've shut his mouth and relentlessly pursue after you, no matter how many arguments it'd take to work everything out. Even if some things couldn't be worked out. But he'd choose anything over this outcome.

He also recalled your words from his youth. Something he'd brought up the night before the Retake of Shiganshina; something he'd always followed. Your four rules of revenge.

"If someone takes something from you, take it back, then take something of theirs, and destroy something else."

First time you said that was when the bullies took stole his scarf and hid it. He'd gone to the orphanage gates to rant you about it. Then he listened to your words. "Teach them a lesson they'll remember for the rest of their lives until they die," you'd added.

He sniffed and rubbed his eyes hard until they were dry, and leaving splotches in his vision. Before you were his girlfriend, you were his mentor for life. So he made himself a promise to never forget the way he was feeling right now, which was that his enemies had taken the most dearest thing to his heart. To him, that was a line crossed all the way to hell.

Suddenly, the future he dreamt of didn't seem so foreign anymore. He'd always wondered why he would do what he saw. Maybe this was why. And if it were the reason, then so be it. He'd trample any place, kill anyone, do anything to get you back. Back to the walls. Back to Shiganshina. Back to HQ. Back in his arms.

And when the day would come, he would never let you go again.

*

yeah yeah wrap it up eren we get it

woke up seeing past 10k reads one day. i'd like to thank all my wonderful silent and my few loud readers, but i'd really like to dedicate this achievement to my literary hero, beyonce

but real talk tho, cuz ik we startin to get a lil lengthy, i rly appreciate the ppl who r staying around.

and a life update that no one asked for: submitted my early decision application...now its up to the universe's good graces