...Staying...
You walked around the refugee camp in search of more food than the rations that were given to you and your friends.
Food was scarce and people were hungry. When people were hungry, they became like animals. Violent and impulsive. Though, some were kind enough to take into consideration that you were children. Others refused to help and would rather have you all dead.
Then you spotted some familiar faces that stopped you in your tracks. The stupid bullies were hanging near the stone wall of the building, their backs faced towards you, hiding something from everyone else to see.
"The bad ones always live forever," you said as you walked up to them.
One of them stood up, scowling. "Yeah, that's why you're still alive."
You resisted the urge to smile. Fine, he got me good there. "Say, I never got the chance for a payback when you bothered Armin again, did I?"
"Drop it! It was weeks ago! It wasn't like we bothered you. Just leave us alone."
"Oh no, that's not how it works over here," you said, shaking your head. "You cross my friend? You cross me. Plain as day. Simple enough for your peabrains to understand." You glanced down at the thing they were hiding behind their legs. A sack of food. Fruits. "Stole that, didn't you?"
The other one covered it with his arms. "Shut up. You're not the only ones hungry."
"Glad we're on the same page. So you know we need some of that too," you said, eyeing the sack. The gleaming red apple peeking out from under the boy's sleeve could make you drool at any second.
The one standing looked conflicted, weighing his options. But there wasn't much with you anyway. "...You can have one."
"One? That's not enough. I need at least five," you said, counting in Grandpa Arlert.
"Five?! We need these too!"
You ignored him and crouched down, grabbing the other end of the sack. "Give it," you told the other boy who was holding it hostage. He reluctantly loosened his grip and you reached in to pick out the fresher ones.
"You witch, you can't just take whatever you want!" The boy behind you grabbed your arm and the apples you were carrying rolled across the floor. "We've already said we'd give you one, Y/n. We'll give you another one for Mikasa if we have to. But those two idiots? The pipsqueak can't even talk back without stuttering like a fool and the other one is all bark and no bite! Face it, they're better off dead-"
Smack.
The boy fell to the ground by just one back-handed slap from you. His other friends who stayed silent hesitated before rushing to his side. Blood trickled down his nose as he met your eyes. Your infamous deathglare. The one that made a quarter of the children in Shiganshina call you a ghost. A witch. The one that even scared Armin when you would use it to defend him.
"Watch what you say," you said, venom lacing your tone. "You don't want to end up like your cat, do you?" Hearing your words, his mouth clamped shut.
A while back before Mikasa came, the bullies had their cat scratch up Armin's face until it was a bloody mess. Eren tried to defend him but only received a huge, bloody claw mark from his cheekbone down to his jaw. You still remembered Armin's agonizing face when they told you, and Eren hissing in pain when you tried cleaning the blood off his face with the hems of your skirt.
On the same night, not even a day later, you knocked on one of their doors as they all hung out there nightly. Then you waited in the bushes. They came out with a lantern, glancing around. Didn't take them a couple seconds to look down. They screamed. On the ground in the middle of the street, was the dead cat. Its body was cut up and reassembled into different parts, sewn together by blue thread. Thread that you borrowed to fix up your cardigan the other day. Tied on its ear that was newly attached to its tailbone was a bluebell. Your favorite flower, your signature.
"This is just the beginning," you had spoke behind them. They turned around with traumatized expressions as they held the lantern near your face, illuminating your death-threatening eyes. "You hurt them again, and I'll dig it up from its grave and feed its flesh to each of you."
Needless to say, they never hurt the two of them like that ever again. They'd exchange insults and throw a few hits, but nothing that caused blood to leak. And ever since Mikasa arrived, who could pack a punch as strong, if not stronger than yours, they took less risks.
You dusted off the part on your sleeve that he touched. "Just for the fact that you put your filthy hand on me, I'm taking the rest of it." You grabbed the sack and counted the apples inside. Five, which was what you wanted. The other apples that once fell out of your hold stayed on the ground, as you now considered them dirty. You turned over your shoulder once more. "I dare you all to try me again. To try us," you warned. Then you left.
When you came back to the three of them under the shades of the courtyard, Eren was on the ground with a loaf of bread in his mouth. You noticed tears streaked down his cheeks. "Now what the hell happened while I was gone?"
"Nothing," said Armin, quick to talk.
"Eren got himself into trouble again," said Mikasa.
You sighed. "Eren, you've got to..." You trailed off when you saw him quietly nibbling on the bread, tears still brimming his eyes as he stared down at his lap. He didn't argue back, wasn't defensive. So you dropped the topic. He was still grieving the loss of somebody important to him. Not that you would know how it felt. "Here, have one," you said, handing him an apple.
"Where'd you get these?" He asked.
You handed one to Mikasa and two to Armin, who nodded, immediately understanding that the other one was for his grandpa. He handed you another loaf of bread. "Turns out, those brainless guys we hate survived. They stole a bag of fresh fruits from the Garrison. So I took it as payback for what they did to Armin."
"It wasn't that big of a deal," said Armin, looking down at the apple a little guilty.
"Yes it was," said Eren, chomping down on his own. "They got what they deserved. Y/n made sure of it."
"Damn right, Eren," you said and joined him on the ground. "I'll always be here to make sure the bad seeds of the world get what they deserve."
Mikasa and Armin sat down as well, chatting away as you all ate your apples sitting in a circle.
* . * .
You guys didn't end up staying at the camp for long. In big groups, the refugees were sent to till the wastelands and farm your own food. It was one way to keep your bodies in shape and build some slight muscles. But even then, there was never enough to eat.
A year later, the government drafted many refugees into an operation to retrieve Wall Maria. The newspapers said that only about a hundred people out of hundreds of thousands survived. Roughly twenty percent of the population was dead.
On the plus side, that meant more food for the rest of you. But on the downside, Grandpa Arlert never made it back. After the disappearance of Dr. Jaeger, somebody you cared about has lost someone again.
The three of you found Armin weeping silently in the back of an alley, hugging his grandpa's hat, the last remnant of him.
"It's all because of the titans," said Eren, sitting down next to him. "If we destroy them, we can retake our home. Y/n," he looked up at you, "tomorrow's enlisting day."
"Okay?"
"And you're already twelve. Are you going?"
"What? Oh." All three of them were looking at you but with different meanings behind their eyes. Armin looked at you, teary and curious. Mikasa looked at you pointedly, hoping you would say no. However, Eren looked at you with determination shining in his eyes.
"Because I turn twelve after the deadline. So I'm enlisting next year," he said. "But if you want to go early without me, I'd understand." He dipped his head at those last words, a faint blush coating his cheeks.
You glanced at the three of them. Are they going to survive without me? You weighed your options. You could stay with them for another year and enlist with Eren together. Or you could leave the three of them off to themselves as you strengthened yourself up early. "I think I'm enlisting tomorrow," you said.
Mikasa huffed out in frustration. Armin buried his face in his hands. Eren looked struck for a moment but he nodded. "Okay," he said. "Then it's decided."
The next morning, you were in line for the enlistment. There were kids your age too, mixed in line with adults. One by one, the signed-up headed off to the wagons, and the line was getting shorter and shorter. You found yourself thinking about the three of them again. Stupid things like: What are they going to eat? What if the bullies bothered them once I'm gone? What if they get too bored without me?
But you knew that they were smart. They'd figure it out. And besides, they were just a few months younger and you were worrying about them as if you were years older. I have to trust them, you told yourself.
Then you found yourself at the front of the line. The Garrison asked for your name. "I'm-" Finally, your mind provided you the clear answer. "...Not going."
The Garrison nodded and scribbled down on the paper. "Okay, welcome, Not Goingâwait. What?"
You ran off before he said anything else, back to the camp, back to your friends. One more year wouldn't hurt.
You spotted them sitting on a bench with their backs faced towards you. You walked up to them silently and put your arms around their shoulders, making Eren and Armin scream, and Mikasa looking stunned. "I lied. I'm not going."
Eren looked at you with wide eyes and a big grin. "Really?!"
You stepped over the bench in-between the space that Eren and Mikasa made for you and sat down. "I'll go with you next year. How can I trust that you'd get your name on that list after pissing off nearly all the Garrison here?"
His smile dropped and he grumbled. "Not this again."
"I'm joining too," said Mikasa, which took you by surprise.
"So am I," said Armin on the other side of Eren.
"What? But I thought you two were more about survival."
"Nothing's more important than staying together," said Armin.
"He's right," said Mikasa. "Together, we'll help each other survive."
You threw your arm around Mikasa's shoulder. "Hell yeah!" you cheered. "One more year of bullshitting around until we can actually do something useful with our lives!"
Eren reached an arm around your shoulder to Mikasa and put his other arm around Armin. "One more year until all of us can gain the power to end all titans!"
. * . *
A year flew by quickly like the snap of fingers. When you were having fun, time passed by fast. After a year of laughing, consoling, and surviving, all four of you stood in line for enlisting day.
Seemed like more kids around your age were signing up this year as well. Some of them weren't even from the refugee camp. Like the brunette girl ferociously chomping on a carrot in the line next to yours.
When you reached the front of the line, the Garrison asked for your name and hometown. "Y/n L/n, from Shiganshina."
His eyebrows jumped up slightly. "Alright, thanks. Next."
You headed over the wagons to wait for your friends. The horses started moving once it was full. Most of the ride there, everyone else was quiet. Solemn, even. As if they were signing away their lives the moment they signed their name down. Pathetic.
Not Eren, though. He had a smile that somehow mixed excitement with anger. Some of the others even gave him weird looks. So you stared at those strangers until they were embarrassed and looked away. His excitement may be a little exaggerated, but at least he didn't look depressed like the rest of them. And neither did you.
You've spent eleven years caged in that uneventful orphanage. Two years with your friends at the camp. Now, the next three years would completely be of your choice. It was your future now. And you had a lot of things you wanted to do, wanted to accomplish.