...Finding...
Surgery was a pain in the ass.
Not because getting your abdomen stitched up hurted a whole lot, in fact it only stung a little, but because you had to lie still on the bed for half an hour as the doctor did her job. You couldn't do anything. Couldn't talk, couldn't eat, couldn't even move. Like a corpse.
After she was done, she left you a book on your bedside table. You tried reaching for it a couple times but it was too far away and you were too lazy to get up. So you were forced to drift off to sleep.
When you woke up, sunlight was peeking through the sheer curtains. Most likely the day after that mission. You propped yourself up against the headboard and finally reached the book. You read the cover: The Secrets of Becoming a Saint.
Opening it to the first page, you read, The first step is to purge out all violent desires from your heartâyou chucked the book across the room. Like I would ever need that shit in my life.
The door creaked open and Sasha's head poked out. "Oh, good she's awake!" she whisper-shouted. She, Connie, Jean, and Historia all tiptoed into your room, carefully clicking the door shut behind them. Jean pulled open the curtains, letting the sun brighten up the room entirely. Connie almost tripped over the book.
"We know visiting hours don't start until noon, but we got worried that you wouldn't get any breakfast so we brought it to you," she said, placing a tray on your lap with a roll of bread, some cookies, some eggs, and a cup of milk.
"Stop this shit. You guys didn't have to," you said, unable to hold back a smile. You were indeed starving though.
"Are you feeling okay?" asked Historia, sitting down on the bench next to Sasha. Connie laid down at the foot of your bed and Jean was leaned up against the wall, arms crossed, like his usual pretentious ass.
"Now I am. You guys seriously have no idea how boring surgery was." You took a bite into your bread. "Where's the rest of you? How are they?"
"Do you actually mean the rest of them or just Eren?" asked Jean.
You sent him an unamused look. "Fine, Jean, have it your way." You cleared your throat and clasped your hands together against your chest. "Oh, dear God! How is Eren? Is he well? I do hope he's alright without a scratch! It's not like I was with him yesterday and made sure he was alright! Can't believe I only care about him and nobody else!"
The others giggled and he rolled his eyes. "They're good. Mikasa got treated for some bruised ribs. She, Armin, and Eren are being questioned by the MPs right now. So they'll be here probably within no time."
"Did you end up being her knight-in-shining-armor?"
"Yeah. And then she went back to killing titans like it was nothing and forgot about me. But whatever, at least she's alright," he said with a slight smile. At least now you were sure that he had some genuine feelings for her.
"So what actually happened to you?" asked Connie, his head resting on his arms as a pillow. "You and Mikasa probably would've killed all those titans by yourselves if you two didn't get hurt."
"I got a dumb stab from a dumb guy," you mumbled, still irked about it. "Speaking of Reiner and Mr. Bitch, how's Ymir doing?"
"She left with them," said Historia, her gaze drifting down to her lap. "But if she didn't, then they would've stayed and fought until everyone was gone. So she made a choice. She said it was for the better."
You frowned. "That's sad, losing your girlfriend just like that."
"She wasn't my girlfriend!" she exclaimed. "We were justâwe were onlyâwe were really close friends. Who just did some things together. That was really all."
The rest of them bursted out laughing. "Historia, you sound like Y/n talking about Eren," joked Connie. "Who knows if they 'did some things together' too."
You chucked your pillow at his face. "Keep your bald head and your big bug eyes out of our business." He smiled smugly and stuffed the pillow beneath his head.
"Hey, wait a minute. You didn't get defensive about that just now," pointed out Sasha.
"Yeah," said Jean, realizing it too. "And you said 'our business.'"
"So? It is ours, as in mine and Eren's, isn't it? Whose else would it be?"
"Still..."
Connie narrowed his eyes. "Mmm, something's fishy."
"Something happened that you'd like to share with us?" asked Sasha with hopeful eyes. "Something new, maybe?"
"New? No?" As you drank out of your cup, the gloriful, pinnacle, cherry-on-top of yesterday dropped right into your mind with a plop. You choked on the milk and fell into fits of coughs. They gasped and lurched forward.
"What?!?!" "What happened between the two of you?!" "Did he finally confess his feelings?!" "Did you finally confess your feelings?!" "Are you two secretly together?!" "Tell us please!"
As you kept coughing and waving your hands at them to stop, the door opened. "Why is it so loud in here?" asked Mikasa, popping in with Armin.
"Mikasa! Armin!" Sasha jumped to her feet. "Do you know what happened between Y/n and Eren?!"
She raised an eyebrow. "No? Ask them. How would I know?"
"I made a joke about the two of them and she didn't get defensive like she usually does," said Connie. "So there has to be something that's going on!"
"Well," Armin started, "yesterday on the walls, she finally admitted to us her feelings for him, so-"
"Armin, shut up!" You threw your bread roll at him. It bounced off his shirt. He dusted off the crumbs.
Sasha and Historia squealed like schoolgirls but Jean scoffed. "Please, we already know about her feelings even if she never admits them herself. Is that all? Nothing else? Nothing weird?"
Armin tapped a finger on his chin. "Actually, Eren was acting a bit weird this morning. And last night. He's almost done with his questioning so we can ask him later."
Just as he finished, the door busted open. "Y/n! Are you okay?!" Eren was panting, out of breath, like he had just run over an entire mountain to get to your room. His eyes panned to the rest of the room. "Um, why are you guys all staring at-" They combusted into questions that piled over and on top of each other. "Slow down, guys, slow down!"
Sasha pointed a finger right at his face. "Did something we don't know happen between you and Y/n?! Yes or no?!"
Eren's eyes bulged and his breath hitched. He didn't attempt to hide that there, in fact, had been something that happened. They pounced back on him, demanding answers, especially Mikasa who was surprisingly louder than everyone else and using a bit of physical violence.
"Guys, is this necessary?" You couldn't even hear your own voice over their messy shouts. The only person seemed to notice was Armin.
"Guys, guys! Let's save the questions for later when she gets better. We've all had our turns visiting her. Since Eren just arrived, why don't we give them some space? You know, alone?"
They eventually did end up leaving the room, one by one patting Eren on the back, saying things like, "Congrats!" "Don't screw this up." "Give me advice sometime." "I knew you could do it, Eren!"
The door clicked shut. He silently shuffled over to the bench. You were noticing for the first time how detailedly crafted the plain, white linens actually were.
"So, uh, you're doing better?" he asked.
"Yeah. And you?"
"Yeah." A moment passed. "I'm sorry, again. For almost giving up yesterday."
"Cup's not empty yet. You apologize one more time and I'll pour the milk on you." He didn't respond. "Forget it. It's in the past. We're alive, so get over it."
He parted his mouth, looking like he had something else to say, but all he ended up letting out was a sigh. "Did the surgery hurt?"
"No. Got some stitches sewn into me. That's it, really."
"That's not too bad."
The silence in the room might as well have been louder than your friends had been. It felt like if you made even one noise, it would trigger what you knew was inevitably coming up. Please don't bring it up, please don't bring it up, please don't bring-
"So, um, about yesterday-"
"You want one?" You held out a cookie.
"...Sure." He took it.
"They're pretty good, aren't they?"
"Yeah." He hadn't even tasted it yet. And neither have you. Please don't talk anymore, please don't- "So...should we talk about what happened yesterday?"
"Well." You cleared your throat. "There were a lot of things happening yesterday. So...be a bit more clear. Please."
His hands were fidgeting in his lap. "You know. When uh, when the titan was about to eat us. And we were talking. And then you-"
The door opened. Levi glanced at you, then at Eren. "Visiting hours aren't until noon. Whose idea was this?"
"Levi!" You sat up straight, plastering on a cheery smile that was borderline unnatural. "How're you doing? How's that leg? Man, did I miss having some clean freak bossing me around!"
His eyebrows twisted in slight confusion. "Anyway." He opened the door wide and a nurse pushed in a wheelchair. "I know you just got out of surgery and that you're not allowed to move too much. But Erwin asks to see you. So get on here."
Your smile dropped. "I'm not sitting on a damn wheelchair."
"Y/n, you're still recovering," reminded Eren. "Here, I'll push you on the wheelchair to his room-"
"Hell no! I'm not getting on some wheelchair like a grandma who just broke her back. I'll walk by myself." You lifted your covers and slid into your shoes, noticing that you were in a long, white hospital gown that reached to your knees. The moment you balanced on your feet, Eren reached out to support your arms, but you were perfectly fine. "Hey, check this out. I don't need no goddamn wheelchair." You took a few steps forward as Eren still held your arm. "Good as new, see?"
"Tch. Why'd I even bother." Levi waved his hand and the nurse backed out of the room with the wheelchair. "Come on. Erwin might be a patient man. But I'm not."
Eren stuck along, helping you when you'd sometimes stumble a little. Your stubbornness was nothing compared to your determination and he knew that, because he was the exact same. Levi led you into the biggest hospital room at the end of the hall. Eren stayed outside.
"Y/n, how are you doing?" asked Erwin who was still in bed.
"I'm good. You look..." you glanced at his lost arm, "...like you have seen better days, but still good! Like you've had a great night's sleep. Can't say the same for myself."
Levi scoffed but Erwin looked amused, like he always was with you. "I wanted to apologize to you for stepping in when you almost had Bertholdt. You retracted your blade because I was in the way, receiving your wound. It would have cost your life."
You were dumbfounded. Why is the Commander apologizing to me? Matter of fact, why is everyone left and right apologizing to me? "Erwin, I should be the one apologizing. If you hadn't pushed me, some random soldier out of the way, then that titan would've eaten me. So, uh, we can cancel it out? You risked your life then almost indirectly risked mine, so we're fair now?"
"The fuck is wrong with you," muttered Levi, glancing at you from the side of his eyes.
Erwin chuckled. "Yes, I suppose we can cancel it out, according to your terms. But make no mistake, you are not just some 'random soldier.' I chose to block all obstacles from your way because I knew you were the only one capable of getting Eren back. Personal feelings mixed in there or not, your skills are not to be doubted. I did what I had to do to ensure Eren's safety, to ensure mankind's future."
"Right," you said, nodding. Now even the Commander can see through me to my "feelings." "So, uh, are we done here? I don't mean to be rude, but is that all?"
"Not so fast, brat," said Levi, passing Erwin the papers from his nightstand.
"While we were on our mission, I had Levi and Hange look into your background in the orphanage. We know now that you are part Ackerman, but Paster Nick mentioned you had a second birthright that you share with Historia. They found the Mistress of the L/n Orphanage. She's currently working as a seamstress in the Stohess District."
You whistled. "That old hag's still around? Damn. It's always the ones you don't expect, huh?"
"If you are willing to visit her, I will order the MPs to send a carriage. Although my condition doesn't allow me to leave right now, Levi and Hange will accompany you to find out the truth of this 'birthright.'"
"Sure. Eren's name is cleared and so are the Scouts, right? We've got time."
Once everything was situated, you followed Levi out to get ready, briefly explaining to Eren where you were off to, leaving him hanging at the end of the hall.
Once you were out of sight, Eren walked straight into the wall and banged his forehead on it a couple of times.
"Hey! What's going on out there!" yelled an elderly man on the other side.
"Sorry," Eren called out and headed off.
. * . *
You sat with Hange across from Levi in the carriage. You were put in more presentable clothes that the hospital lended you: a simple f/c shirt, some pants, and a white blazer that was a size bigger.
"So have you two figured out how you're related yet?" asked Hange. The two of you shook your heads. "Really? Levi, did you have any relatives in your youth?"
"My mother was an Ackerman," he said. "I don't know anyone else."
"Your mother? Where is she now?" you asked.
"She died before you were born. So the math wouldn't add up."
"Oh. Were you raised in an orphanage too?"
"No. I was raised in the Underground. By Kenny the Ripper."
Your eyes bulged. "That guy actually exists? I used to be called by his name back in the orphanage. It began right after I tore the head and wings off of a pigeon in front of the other children. I don't think I've ever been that flattered besides being called a witch."
He snorted. "He probably would've liked you more than me." Then the both of you fell silent again.
"Come on guys, don't be so awkward and cold with each other. You're basically family at this point whether you like it or not. Wave at each other at least."
You bit back a smile. "Hange..." She took your hand and waved at him for you. Levi shook his head and glanced out the window, but the corners of his lips were slightly tugged upwards.
Once you arrived, the MP opened the door and you all got off. Down the street, you entered a women's clothing boutique where a bunch of wealthy-looking women were shopping around. A sales clerk spotted the three of you and gasped lightly. "My, Captain Levi! To what do we owe the pleasure of having you here today?"
The noblewomen turned their heads too, passing whispers to each other. A few of them eyed Levi up and down suggestively. Your face twisted in disgust. Gross.
He unfolded a piece of paper and showed it to the clerk. "We're looking for this woman."
"Right away, sir. Come with me," she said, leading the three of you up the staircase.
"You been here before?" you asked Levi.
"Tch. Hell no."
"You know anyone down there?"
"No."
"Really? 'Cause those ladies seem to know you."
"He's just very famous," Hange told you with a smirk. He ignored the both of you and kept his eyes straight forward.
The clerk opened a door to a hall. "She is working in the room in the back. I will leave you to it."
Levi entered the room first. The Mistress glanced up. Once her eyes landed on you, she dropped her sewing needle and fabric and stood up. "Youâyou're alive," she breathed out, her facial expression dragging her wrinkles outwards in astonishment. She had clearly aged by a lot, white streaks increasing in her hair, skin crinkly and sun-beaten.
"Indeed I am," you said. "I wonder how many of the other orphans made it out alive. Do you even know? Or did you run for your life and leave the rest of them hanging?" She ducked her head. "Mhm. That's what I thought."
Hange held up the paper. "I am Section Commander Hange Zoë and this is my subordinate, Captain Levi Ackerman. We are here on official Scout Regiment business, regarding Y/n L/n and her history in the L/n Orphanage. You are Mistress Mildred, correct?"
She nodded nervously. You weren't sure if you had ever known her name before or if you had just forgotten it. "Please, take a seat." She gestured to the three other chairs around her round table.
You glanced at her unfinished work. "I remember you taught me how to sew. Very useful skill."
"Yes, and then you went ahead and sewed up different body parts of animals," she muttered under her breath. "Before we start, Section Commander and Captain, I want to let you know that I do not know much. And I choose not to know because getting involved with the Order of the Walls is very, very dangerous-"
Levi put up a hand and she stopped. Hange pulled out a paper and a pen. "So, Mildred, my first question here is simple: Do you know who Y/n's birth parents are?"
"I do not."
"No lies, old woman," said Levi, staring her down. "It won't do you any good."
She let out a sigh, almost looking heartbroken. "I had abandoned the children on the day of the Fall of Shiganshina. Just to save my lousy life. Some survived but that doesn't excuse my mistakes. I have been trying to make my peace since, but it has been hard. So I do not wish to tell any more lies."
Hange marked off the question. "Next. Do you know what became of Y/n's birth parents? If they had died or not?"
"I do not."
"At what age was Y/n given to the orphanage?"
"She was not even half a year old. Perhaps a few months. Possibly even a few weeks."
My parents must've really not wanted me or something.
"Did her name come with her or did you give her the name Y/n?"
"The name came with her."
"And how do you know that?"
"She...she was called that name by the man who gave her to the orphanage."
That piqued your interest. Levi slightly tilted his head. Hange leaned forward a little. "And who was this man?"
"He was a nobleman. A lord. I was quite shocked when someone of his status came to our little corner of the land."
What's a lord got to do with me?
Hange nodded, scribbling away. "Tell me more."
"I had a brief chat with him. I openly asked him if she were his illegitimate daughter or something. See, I needed the truth on her records for the orphanage to keep. He said that she was his niece."
Your eyebrows lifted up a little. I'm somebody's niece. Somebody's my uncle. Who's a lord. So what does that make me, a Lady?
"I see. What is this lord's name?"
"If I may remember it so clearly, his name is Lord Rod Reiss."
"Rod Reiss," you mumbled, letting the name settle in your mouth.
After a few more questions that received useless answers, Hange stood up. "Thank you for your cooperation, Mildred. We are done here for today."
As you turned to leave, the Mistress laid a wrinkly hand on your shoulder. Softer than she had ever done. "Child, I may not have been the most fair, nor the most compassionate Mistress, but I want you to know that I am proud you have made something out of yourself. I have seen the paths of many other orphans who survived. Some turned to the streets, begging for coins and kindness. A few left for the underground, immersing themselves in crime. The rest have disappeared, never to be heard of again. But you have made yourself a soldier, and an important one as it seems. Well done, Y/n."
As you stared at her, something you've never felt before bubbled up inside you. It felt good, similar to being validated by Erwin during that mission for not giving up. "Thank you, Mistress," you said, because that was all you could at the moment.
Levi called your name and nodded to the door. She waved goodbye to you as you followed him out the hall, down the staircase, out the boutique.
"How do you feel, Y/n?" asked Hange, back on the carriage. "Finally cracked something today."
"Good," you said. And you actually meant it for once. "Really good."
Although you didn't find out who your parents were, you felt quite at peace. The truth was finally revealing itself bit by bit, starting with your relations to Mikasa and Levi, then to Historia. And now to some uncle who left you in Shiganshina. And the Mistress who you once practically hated was now proud of you. And that all felt really, really good.