Chapter 19: 19: The Weight of Guilt

MAX

We reach out to the council, and they’re not exactly overjoyed about our predicament. But they don’t halt our plans.

They do, however, remind me that regardless of what transpires, I need to be prepared for my alpha training come September. If all goes as planned, there shouldn’t be any hitches.

The Black Moon Pack is more than happy to lend us some warriors. We’ve assisted them numerous times in the past when they had rogue issues.

We’re the largest pack in the Pacific Northwest and the strongest in the country. They plan to send us about thirty warriors, including their lead warrior who was trained by Uncle Milo.

This means he’s one of the best. Even though Grandpa has been retired for over twenty-five years, he still has connections.

He contacts the Texas pack where his mate hails from. They agree to send us twenty warriors.

They’ll fly in, and we’ll provide them with temporary housing. We have a bunkhouse near the training grounds.

We immediately get to work preparing it so they’ll be comfortable. I’m tasked with picking them up from the airport in two days, along with the Delta.

We’ll use two twelve-passenger vans to transport them. We hope that this sudden influx of wolves won’t alert Canyon Ridge.

We try to keep everything as low-key as possible. Things are moving quickly, which is exactly what we need.

Melanie comes home today. Seeing her is a stark reminder of why we’re doing all this.

She looks much better, but her mind still seems a bit foggy compared to before the accident. The doctor says it’s due to the medications, but the fog should lift before she returns to school on Monday.

We talk for about five minutes when she first gets home, then she goes to lie down. She mentions she wants to talk to me after dinner.

I’m worried about what she might want to discuss. I hope she’s not mad at me for not getting to them sooner.

I feel incredibly guilty that she’s hurt. Between Beck and me, I think we bear the brunt of the guilt.

I keep telling him he couldn’t have done more than he did. He just raises an eyebrow at me and says, “You should listen to yourself when you say you’re guilty too.”

He’s right, I guess. We really did get there as fast as we could.

I have to keep reminding myself that it could have been so much worse. Beck is leaving for his scouting mission in the morning.

I’m set to leave the day after. This will allow us to complete the scouting without both of us being away from pack land for too long.

We can’t be sure what’s happening since we won’t have any inside information. It’s clear that Jason has figured out that he won’t be getting any more information from Patrice.

She’s as good as dead. We keep her in the dungeon in case we need to question her further.

Once this is all over, we’ll end her.

BECK

I’m leaving in the morning with two warriors and a scout. It’ll be less than a day’s journey on foot, then we’ll rush back here.

We have to be stealthy. We don’t want to be seen.

This is just a scouting mission for intel. We’re to do our best to avoid contact with the Canyon Ranch wolves.

I want to talk to Melanie before I leave. I need to make sure she’s okay before I leave in the morning.

I make my way to the alpha floor, quietly walking down the hall to her door. I press my ear against the door to listen if she’s asleep.

It sounds like she’s awake, so I knock lightly on the door. I hear the rustling of book pages before Melanie says, “Come in, Beck.”

She must have caught my scent. I gently open the door and peek in.

Melanie is sitting up in bed, propped up by pillows. There are a few books scattered around the bed, along with a notebook she must have been writing in.

“Can I come in?” I ask. “Of course,” she pats the edge of the bed and gestures for me to sit.

She looks tired, but definitely better. She’s clearly showered and changed into comfortable clothes, her homework spread out around her.

“Catching up?” I ask, pointing to the books. “Yes,” she sighs.

“I have a week’s worth of work to cram in before Monday. I have a test in chemistry on Monday.”

I cringe. I hated that class in high school.

But considering she wants to be a doctor, it’s probably a class she enjoys. “Chemistry, huh? Can’t help you there, not my forte.”

She laughs at my response. “What can I do for you, Beck?” she asks, suddenly serious.

I shrug. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. I felt terrible that I didn’t get to you sooner.”

I take her hand that’s resting on the comforter next to me, rubbing my thumb across her palm. I look up and make eye contact, seeing a look of interest in her eyes, but beyond that, I can’t tell what she’s thinking.

“You know, Beck, it’s not your job to look after me. I’m a capable fighter. I’ve been training for years.

What happened isn’t anyone’s fault, especially not yours. I’m the one who jumped out of the SUV.

But honestly, I’m not sure I had a choice if I wanted to live. That rogue was going to take me out in the front seat, without a chance to fight back.

Please don’t beat yourself up over this. You and my brother are both trying to take some kind of responsibility for this, and there’s no way either of you are at fault.”

She gives me a half-smile. I nod at her before continuing.

“I just care about you, Melanie, and it would kill me if something happened to you. I’m not sure I could bear it if you…,” I trail off.

Swallowing, I continue, “If you were to die, everyone here would be devastated.”

“I understand, Beck. I feel the same way about all of you.”

She pauses for a moment, searching my eyes before asking, “I’m curious, though, why the sudden interest in me? I feel like you’ve been somewhat ignoring me for the past couple of years, then all of a sudden, we’re back to being the friends we were before you graduated high school.”

The thought of her bringing it up makes me anxious. The truth is, I’ve always had a soft spot for her.

Maybe more than a friend should. I couldn’t make sense of it, so when I started college, I tried to put some distance between us.

I was gearing up to take on my beta responsibilities, and that was my focus. I remember the timeline, and even though I’d never really stopped having feelings for her, they seemed to intensify over the past few months.

I found myself watching her during training, gazing at her during meals, sometimes even waiting for her to enter a room just to catch a glimpse of her. I felt like a creep.

I recently turned twenty-one, and the feelings only grew stronger. I can’t quite put it into words, but I have this overwhelming urge to protect her.

I want to be around her more than ever before. I can’t shake the thought that she could be my mate.

If she isn’t, my wolf sure wishes she was. If she is, it’s too early for her to realize it.

My wolf seems to enjoy her company as well, his tail wagging in the back of my mind whenever we’re near her. I’m at a loss for words when it comes to answering her question.

“I know it seems strange, Melanie. We’ve always been friends. Maybe I was too wrapped up in my college courses and preparing to take over from my father.

I see now that I have plenty of time for all of that. I miss our friendship.

I genuinely enjoy your company, and I don’t want to risk losing that. I know you’ll be off to medical school next year, so I want to keep our bond strong.

I want us to still know each other.” This was the best I could offer her without completely exposing myself.

I didn’t want her to reject me before she even knew if we were mates. Melanie nodded.

“Okay. I get that. Thank you, Beck, I’ve missed our friendship too.

I think I’ve missed your goofy sense of humor the most,” she said with a smile. “You were always good for a laugh.”

“Oh, thanks,” I feigned offense. “You think I’m a joke?”

“Of course not,” She playfully hit my arm. “I just think you’re a cheerful guy who’s always cracking jokes and spreading joy.”

I returned her smile, “Just kidding. Are you coming to dinner?”

“Yes, I was planning to. Why? Should I not?” she asked.

“You should just be aware that we’ll likely be discussing our plans for the next few days. We know who attacked us and we plan to retaliate.”

I informed her. “Retaliate? Are you saying we’re going to war over this? I’m confused,” Melanie’s face was a picture of confusion.

“We’re dealing with a planned attack, Melanie. The alpha of Canyon Ranch used those rogues to hit us, without making it obvious it was him.

But he made a mistake, and we managed to get information from the traitor in our pack and the captured rogues.”

“Canyon Ranch? That’s Alpha Jason, right?

The one who killed his own father. He’s a monster. What does he want with us?” she asked.

“It’s not so much us he’s after, but you,” I admitted, holding her hand a little tighter. “What could he possibly want with me?” she wondered.

I looked into her eyes, wanting her to understand the seriousness of the situation. I need her to know that I’ll fight tooth and nail to keep her safe.

“He wants to claim you as his mate, even if you’re unwilling.” The shock on her face was clear.

“But don’t worry, Melanie. I’ll do everything in my power to protect you. Your father and Max have been strategizing for days.

They’ve contacted the council and we have backup arriving tonight and tomorrow. We’ll handle Jason, I have no doubt about that.”

“What’s the plan?” she asked. “Max and I are leaving on reconnaissance missions to check for breaches in the borders.

I leave tomorrow, Max the day after. Once we’re back, we’ll finalize our attack plan.

I’ll be back in a day or two. I wanted to talk to you before I left, which is why I’m here now,” I explained.

To my surprise, Melanie threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around me in a tight hug. I quickly recovered, returning her embrace.

She smelled divine. I could stay like this forever, just holding her, my face buried in her hair.

She pulled away sooner than I’d like, a curious look on her face. “Wait, you mentioned a traitor in the pack. Who is it?”

“Can you believe it’s Patrice?” Melanie shook her head slightly, “I should’ve known. She’s been acting strange.

She deliberately injured Madison during sparring not long ago. Max mentioned she’s been following him too.

She’s always had a bit of a crush on him, but she’s been unusually forward lately. Maybe she was trying to get close to him, to gather more information.”

I nodded, “That’s likely. Anyway, I’ll let you get back to your studies. I’ll see you at dinner.”

As I stood to leave, she grabbed my hand. “Thank you, Beck. For everything. Please be safe tomorrow,” she smiled at me and my heart felt like it was about to burst.

“Of course,” I replied. Before I said something I might regret, I left her room, gently closing the door behind me.

My feelings for her are overwhelming. I’d be devastated if she isn’t my mate.

I find myself wondering, should I distance myself? I shake off the thought.

I need to find Max so we can discuss our plans further. The alpha will want to meet after dinner to ensure we’re all on the same page.

I need to stay focused.