Chapter 54: 52

Chapter Fifty-Two

"And stretchmarks are sexy."

Six months later.

× ANANYA ×

"What happened, chamatkar? Why are you crying?" Sahil asked me and I just shook my head wiping my tears. Why did he have to come exactly at the time I was having my breakdown?

"I'm not," I whispered, my voice still heavy. He stepped inside the new house that Kirti and I rented and closed the door.

It's been two months since we moved here, the house is very small like every other house in Mumbai but we decided to compromise a little. And most of the time, Kirti isn't even here. God knows what is going on with her, she's been very hideous and doesn't share stuff now. I need to communicate it out with her but I just don't know how to tell her that this is also hurting me.

"The red nose is telling me otherwise," Sahil replied after facing me and kept his hand on my cheeks, caressing them with his thumb. I just made a face while looking into his eyes and hugged him tightly without waiting for a second...

"Ananya, meri jaan, what happened?" He asked in a soft voice while caressing my head and laying a kiss on it and I started sobbing.

[Ananya, my love, what happened?]

"Bol toh sahi?"  He asked again when I just kept on sobbing without replying to him.

[At least tell me?]

"Why do I look like this?" I asked him and suddenly he froze and broke the hug, making me look at him, his hands were still on my cheeks.

"What?" He murmured and I wiped my fresh tears.

"Nothing. Forget it."

"What happened, Ananya? Someone said something to you?" I shook my head and took a step behind trying to walk away but he didn't leave his hold on my hand. When I didn't turn around, he came and stood in front of me.

"What happened? Can you please tell me?" He asked in a very soft voice and I shook my head again.

"It's nothing. I'm just in a bad mood." I gulped nervously trying to stop my tears from falling.

Why did he have to come exactly at the time I was busy bawling my eyes out over every harsh word someone had said to me. Now I cannot answer him, if I try to give him an explanation I would rather look like an insecure person who just wants attention and reassurance.

"Tell me why is your mood bad? I'll fix it real quick." I wiped my eyes and mentally decided to not start the river again.

"You can't do anything about it." My voice was very heavy but low.

"Let me decide. I'll do everything to solve your problem."

"Can you change the way I look? No, so please let's end this here." I shouted in frustration as a reaction to his constant statements.

"And why do you want to change the way you look?" He asked me.

"Because I don't like the way I look," I muttered irritatedly. He did not pass any reaction for now but the way he was looking at me was very different. He took a deep breath and asked me, politely.

"And why is that so?"

"I'm not perfect, I am not that beautiful," I told him.

"Who told you that you are not beautiful?" He questioned.

"The mirror," I stated and his eyebrows narrowed with a worried expression on his face. "So that's it? Let's end the discussion."

He held my wrist and started taking me towards the room. He halted in his tracks when I was standing right in front of the mirror. I glanced everywhere but at the mirror.

"What do you not like about her?" He asked while pointing towards my reflection in the mirror.

"Everything," I replied sparing a small glance towards the mirror.

"Look into the mirror and list out everything you don't like." His tone was very demanding and strict. I kept staring at myself in black and white pyjamas and a blue oversized t-shirt, my hair tied up in a bun, a few strands frizzly falling out, and my eyes were all red and the same with my nose.

"I'll sound like a very insecure person. I don't want to do this." I confessed and he leaned against my cupboard with his hands folded, shaking his head.

"Let it be, we are doing this."

"Leave it, Sahil."

"No, because I do not see anything not beautiful in her. You were very confident so prove yourself. What do you dislike?" He repeated his question.

"You won't understand-"

"Make me. I'm ready to wait here for the whole night but I am going to make you call out everything you don't like." I licked my dry lips at this adamant behaviour.

"No, this is very awkward." I was immediately cut off by him.

"I don't care." While I kept staring at him with pleading eyes, he stood there with a firm look and not even once did his gaze flicker to something that was not me.

I waited for another minute in the hope that he would stop this but he just stood there patiently.

"Face your fears, and insecurities this one time, Ananya, I promise you won't have to fight with them again." I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath in.

It's Sahil anyway, he is going to do anything but judge me.

But what if he noticed them too and didn't like it? If I can't like myself, how does he do that?

"Ananya, look you can't point out anything which is not good or beautiful in yourself-" he started but I cut him mid-sentence and did what he asked me to.

"I don't like my skin colour. I've always heard from everyone around me that I'm too dark, I'm not beautiful enough because I am not fair. Thousand different pastes and hundreds of remedies have been applied to my face to brighten the skin since my childhood. I have heard many racist insults in the name of jokes. My dad told me how hard it is for him to find a guy for me with a face like that. What else do you want to hear? Should I list out every insult? I remember each one of them word for word." I said in fury while looking at the mirror, each insult flashed through my mind.

"The next thing I don't like about myself is the rolls on my stomach. I also don't like the dark circles which are too dark to be seen. Make-up can cover it up but I wish to look good without make-up for once. I've pigmented lips, and I don't find them very attractive. I can't even find a perfect lipstick shade because of them. My teeth are not aligned. My arms are very fat, I dislike the thick thighs too. I dislike stretchmarks all over my arms and legs. And yes I don't like my nose either." I continued while carefully looking at each one of my features through the mirror.

"And yes I don't like my hair that much too. They are very frizzy and each time I have to style them to make them look good, but naturally it's all frizzy. That was it, Are you happy now?" I looked at him whose whole attention was towards me.

"Yes. Now it's my turn." He slowly took some steps closer to me and stood right in front of me. "Let me kiss each one of your insecurities so next time you think about you, you'll only remember how much I love every bit of you."

"First was what, your skin. You stupid human, have you seen the way your skin shines in the sun making you look so very angelic? Your skin turns into a pure colour of gold and you dislike that? You are indeed very stupid then.  I love your skin colour, no matter what. Even if a thousand people come at me and tell me that it looks bad, I'll fight each one of them because it looks magnificent. You look magnificent in that skin of yours." He said while caressing my whole face gently with his fingers and placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I'm sure you are insecure about it because you have heard many things from childhood but that is all bullshit, Ananya. I don't know how to explain it to you but beauty doesn't come with fairness, it's the features and it's the heart. Nobody is beautiful or ugly. I've seen you many times getting insecure over skin, I have noticed but please never be, especially for me, you look perfect in this skin tone and just like this." He was looking into my eyes while saying most of this and I felt shivers run through my body.

I try to like my skin tone and sometimes I do, but then someone comes and ruins it all by making a joke. I hate such jokes.

"Your dark circles, baby, everyone gets them. Your lack of sleep and messed up sleeping schedule will result in that only na. Even though I have dark circles and they are indeed dark, have you seen me complaining about it? You need to worry less and sleep more." He placed a kiss on my eyes simultaneously.

"Your lips, they aren't attractive? It's a joke. When we met the first thing that caught my attention was your pigmented lips and it's a lip type, not everyone will have pink and plain lips. And about lipstick shade, I'll find you a perfect lipstick shade, okay?" I felt a small peck on my lips right after he completed his statement.

I didn't interrupt but rather decided to hear him out once.

"Your teeth are not aligned but they are cute. You look very cute like this only. And if everything was perfectly aligned then what would make you a human?" I merely nodded at this.

"And your nose is exactly like how it should be. You tend to pay attention to it and find out faults or else it just goes well with your face so please." He kissed the top of my nose with that.

"And your arms and thighs are very good exactly the way they are, and Honestly, only you are noticing this stuff, kisika toh dhyan bhi nahi jata espe and jaata bhi hua toh bhi kuch bura nahi hai esme, buddhu." He said and ran his hand all over my arms till he reached the back of my hands. He brought my hands closer to his mouth and kissed both of them.

[Nobody would have noticed this and even if they did then there is nothing bad in this, idiot]

"And stretchmarks are sexy." He commented and winked making me chuckle a little.

Did I save the world in my past life to get him as a blessing in this one?

"And your hair, are you an idiot or what? How much do you overthink and why? You stupid woman, you look very beautiful like this only. Neither do you need to change yourself and not consider yourself beautiful. I love Ananya just like this." He said and once again my eyes turned glassy.

I threw my arms around his waist and engulfed him in a hug. He kissed the top of my head.

"What were you even thinking when you said that?" He asked me.

"I don't know. I was feeling very bad about myself for the past few days." Or maybe always.

"Now do you understand? My chamatkar is perfect the way she is. So no more crying about this."

"Maybe." I hesitantly replied.

"Shut up. Next time if you ever feel insecure just come to me I'll give you a thousand more reasons which will make you fall in love with you." I looked at him in between the hug with a pout on my face.

"Kuch zyada hi acha kiya hoga maine pichle janam mei tabhi tum mile mujhe." His lips broke into a smile and he kissed my pout.

[I would have done something very good in my past life, that is why I got you now.]

"Kadar karo meri fir." He replied and I nodded.

[Value me then]

"Bohat hai. I'd leave a thousand weddings if I get you at the end."

[I do.]

"Aaisa hai kya? Fir bully kyu karti hai?" I gasped at the choice of words. Bully? Seriously?

[Oh is it? Then why do you bully me?]

"Maine kab kiya?" I asked him in a low voice.

[When did I do?]

"Kab nahi kiya?"

[When did you not?]

"Woh pyaar hai mera. Aur tum bhi toh karte ho bully mujhe." I complained.

[That is my way of love. And you bully me too.]

"Woh mera pyaar hai."  I rolled my eyes.

[That my love.]

"Okay." I cut it short.

"Okay." He repeated while scrunching his nose trying to mimic me.

"Okay."

"Okay." We slowly inclined towards each other and by now our foreheads were touching.

"Okay." I said and before he could reply I added, "Bus Abhi. Pakao mat"

[It's enough. Don't bore me.]

He passed me a dramatic hurt look and I chuckled, standing on my toe and kissing his lips lightly.

"Mere pair dukh gaye abh" I complained and he started laughing.

[My legs are hurting.]

"Chotu hi hai tu." He replied and I broke the hug and pulled him towards the bed. Both of us lay on our backs and looked at each other.

[You're still a kid.]

"What happened today? At least tell me that." He asked me again.

"Arey, everything happened together. My periods arrived so I was very emotional. Then I heard some Aunties talking about me and how I look, and an office worker made a joke. Kirti ditched me for a plan. I miss my mom. Everything." He did not reply for a while but just got lost in a deep thought.

"Let's video call my mom." He suggested and I got all excited. He took out his phone and called his mother, she picked up within a ring or two.

His mom is my favourite adult.

"Hey, Sah-Anuuu," She switched tracks of names in mid making me smile.

"That was mean, Mom," Sahil commented.

"Hi, my lovely dovey son." She said through the call and I laughed when she winked at me.

"How are you guys?" She asked.

"We are good. What about you and Dad? Where is Dad?" Sahil questioned back.

"Mujhe toh laga tha mujhe puchega hi nahi koi lekin Sahil hai na mera beta." Uncle made a cameo with his first-class energy.

[I thought no one would ask about me but Sahil, my son.]

We spoke a little about the whereabouts and got teased by them like always but the call ended shortly as they were outside for dinner. A date.

Was it that hard Mom and Dad?

Seeing his parents together, happy and still in love makes me believe in love stronger.

"What happened here?" Sahil suddenly asked me pointing towards my arms where there was a long mark and adjacent to it was a short one.

"The long one is because of a glass bottle. My drunk father broke a bottle at my arm when I was seven, I guess?" I said it casually as if it was no big deal. I mean it was, but it's been years so now I pretty much don't care.

"What? Why?" He asked pure in shock. I let out a chuckle before replying to him.

"I asked him to play with me." I still laugh remembering the moment.

"Every time you say something about your father my hate for him increases." I caressed his arm after he completed indicating to him that it was okay.

"And the short one?" He asked.

"Self-harm. After I ran away from the wedding, the first year tired me out like anything so I thought I couldn't take it. So I kind of practice it there before the performance. Thank god, I never performed." I said jokingly and he just kept staring at me. We both turned sideways so now we could completely face each other.

He showed me his hand and pushed the black holy thread down. There was a very light scar. I look at him horrified but he just bit his tongue.

"Post-breakup scene. Thank god, my performance failed." He joked out like mine.

"I have never been this happy in my entire life, Sahil. Thank you for giving me your room that day. God bless the receptionist I fought with." I murmured.

"I have never lived or loved my life so much. Thank you for being over-smart with that Aunty." I smacked his arm and he grinned in response.

"I thank the non-existent chamatkar baba too." He said and I made a poker face. Not again.

"I was nineteen, Sahil," I told in my defence.

"That story told me otherwise. Even a five-year-old would make a better story than that."

"Okay, Haan, okay." I decided to end the conversation.

"There was a baba in our village, his name was Chamatkar-" he started mimicking me and I picked up the nearest pillow and hit him on the face.

"I was named Chamatkar as a tribute to him..." He managed to continue in a broken voice and laughed.

"Shut up, Sahil."

🦋

One last part left :(((

Do vote and share your views on this chapter. It might have some filler but this chapter was one of my favourites. <3

Next chapter after 170 votes? (I just need some time to write it lol)

Any questions? Suggestions?

Cya 🤝🏻