Chapter Thirty-Nine
That was very mean of her. Very mean.
x SAHIL x
"What the hell should I do to make it up now?" I asked Abhinav in frustration. He is the fourth person to come and tell me that yesterday I was very wrong and I should have supported Ananya because what she did was very right and I am a brainless moron from my birth. At this point, it is very frustrating because everyone kept telling me I am wrong but no one thought to give this moron a piece of advice.
The first person to come and tell me, or curse me to the hell was Vivian. Next was my father, I kind of understood it because he told me in a very convincing manner. He made me realize my mistake and passed me a handful of taunts.
Then it was Preet. She said the same thing that the above people told me, the only thing she added was,
When you can't stand for her when Nirmal Bua comments on her then don't even dare to blame her for doing the needful. She quietly listens to whatever bullshit Bua says about her, she spoke because it was about you. Take that.
And Preet stormed out of the room. Now, not only one but three people were very angry with me. Vivian, Preet, and Ananya. I guess the list will increase.
I am dumb, for real. Yesterday, whatever I told her was in the heat of the moment. I didn't want her to get in trouble and neither did I want Abhinav's wedding to get ruined. And I can't go and tell Bua that she is wrong neither can I explain to her, so I did whatever I thought was correct.
"That seems like a you problem. You make up for the mess you created. " He shrugged, his voice wasn't even loud, it was very calm. As if, he was enjoying seeing me in this position.
"At least give me a suggestion, man. I am aware that I ruined things but she isn't even looking at me, she gives very dry replies-" My sentence was cut by one more taunt from Abhinav.
"Honestly, you don't even deserve a reply. Be thankful she gives you those." I narrowed my eyes at him and tapped my foot on the floor continuously. Putting my hand on my forehead in frustration, I thought of something.
"I'm helping you this time seeing you so depressed. Next time, you sort it out by yourself." I nodded and looked at him with hopeful eyes.
"First, cut the crap and tell me if you like her? As in, like her and not this fake dating shit" I made a face at his question.
"How did this come in between? Give me a suggestion and leave."
"Ache se baat kar varna mad at nahi karni maine teri"
[Talking nicely or else I'm not helping you]
"Sorry," I muttered.
"And it came in between because making up in a friendly way is different and romantically is very different. And the way you guys behave, you both are already in love" He added further while playing with a pen kept there.
"It's not love yet. Love takes time." I mumbled.
"So you accept that you like her?" He asked.
"No.."
"So you don't like her?"
"No, like..."
"Be clear man! What are these double standards? Either you like her or not. And well, you do, it's visible. You are dumb." His voice clearly showed irritation.
"I'm unsure"
"About her?" He asked. I can't express my feelings easily, and this time it's harder to get words that explain what I'm feeling.
"No. About my feelings. I like her, deep down even I know that."
"So what is the exact problem?" He asked, leaning towards me his elbows placed on his thighs. His tone was serious and thankfully he understood the situation.
"What if things ended like last time? I won't be able to handle it again, Abhinav." I licked my dry lips and waited for a response.
The last time I managed to pick myself up and move on. But if history repeats itself then I don't want to fall in love again. Ever. Because once I love someone, I give my everything to them, and then removing them from my heart is not easy. I can love someone easily, but unloving them is not what I can do.
"Sahil if you keep comparing the past with your present then how are you going to live your life? Every second you'd be scared. And last time was different, wasn't it? It was Natasha, this is Ananya. Both are different. And honestly, if It's written in your fate then it is going to happen."
"I know that, but I'm just a bit scared"
"Sacred of what?" He raised a question.
"Falling in love again, I guess?"
"All I can say is, accept your feelings, Sahil, before it's too late." He said and then further added, "History doesn't always repeat itself. But the fear of it repeating can ruin things."
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"I'm sorry if I went overboard yesterday, Aunty" I heard Ananya say to my Mom when I was passing by the room. I waited there, wanting to hear their conversation and listen to her side of the story, because she wasn't going to tell me that.
"You didn't, bacha. You were respectful to her, it's just the truth that hurt her. If you crossed a line then I would have stopped you, right? No one told you anything except for my dumb son." Ma said and I scrunched my nose.
How many people are calling me dumb?
"Yesterday, he might have told you that you were wrong and you should have been respectful and everything, right?" Ananya nodded at her statement.
"He was right, I guess. It was not my place to tell anyone, anything."
"You are his girlfriend, you have every right to tell anyone, anything if it's related to him"
But she is not even my girlfriend. Why did she do that then?
She further added. "And let him fight as much as he wants with you, I'm sure he will come back after he realizes the truth, and if he doesn't then don't talk to him. Let him sulk alone."
"Yes yes, I'm not forgiving him anytime soon." Looks like I've to work hard on this.
"That's my girl" My mother and Ananya shared a hi-fi where Ma had a proud look while Ananya chuckled.
"I wished to tell you something for so long" Ananya hummed as a response eager to listen. Even I was curious.
"You're making his life so beautiful by existing in it. There was a time when he was so gloomy like a dried rose, now with you, he shines like a sunflower in daylight. Magnificent and Golden. I can feel it."
"Aunty, where do you get this metaphorical art from?" Ananya gasped right when my mother completed speaking and then asked this question in appreciation.
"I bet, Sahil does not use this art" A shake of my head was enough for my mother to face-palm herself.
"I need to teach him. He needs to learn how to flirt"
"No, He flirts nicely-" Ananya stopped in mid-track and my mother smirked.
Wow, finally an appreciation for Sahil.
Varna saari galti humesha Sahil ki hi toh hoti hai.
[Or else every mistake is only of Sahil.]
I started walking when I found the rest conversation useless.
Ma's words to Ananya went deep into my heart. I like to spend time with her. I like being around her. I like to flirt with her and to see her blush. I like when she comes to comfort me. I like it when I am the one who makes her smile when she is sad. I like the way she stopped her bad habit because of the stupid bet. I like silence when she's with me, the other times it haunts me with numerous thoughts. I can be myself around her. I like the way she makes me feel included.
The only thing I dislike is, someone else getting her complete attention.
And that Dinesh. I dislike him, a lot. A lot. Period.
But the main question is, Am I falling for her?
ð¦
My words halted in mid tracks when I saw Ananya in a light green colored lehenga paired with the same colored blouse and a transitional shrug on top of that. Her outfit was perfect for the Mehendi function, it was pretty stylish but simple enough to not drag the limelight. Although she was the one who
already stole the limelight for me.
I cannot look at anyone else except her. I don't want to.
She was looking drop-dead gorgeous in traditional. I do not mean that she doesn't look good in Western, she rocks that too. But seeing her in traditional hits is different.
Because she loves wearing it. And she shines after doing something she loves.
"Thodi sharam karlo aur band karo khule mei tadna,"Â Rahul told me when he noticed me getting distracted in the middle of the conversation.
[Get a little coy and stop staring at her openly.]
"Bhaiya ka tadne ke alava aur bhi bohat kuch karne ka man toh hoga" I furrowed at Nakul's statement and glared at him when I understood that.
[He wishes to do something more than just staring, I'm sure]
"What nonsense?"
"Ananya thakti nahi aapke 'what nonsense' se?"Â Rahul asked me while raising his brows. I looked back at Ananya at her mention, because it clicked me how I was adoring her before these idiots distracted me.
[Ananya doesn't get tired of your 'what nonsense'?]
Just after a second, she glanced at me and our eyes met. When she noticed that I was already staring at her, she looked away and shook her head muttering something.
Right beside Ananya, I noticed Dinesh, he was smiling and laughing with Ananya. Making jokes while they shared a clap, she was clicking random pictures with him, taking videos and everything.  I inhaled a deep breath and left it out while tightening the grip around my phone which was in my left hand.
Ananya being Ananya, stumbled while walking, and that dang Dinesh, held her hand to save her from falling on her face. My intense gaze did not move away for a second from them, no, from Dinesh and Ananya.
"Aashiq thode jealous ho rahe hai"Â Rahul felt the need to comment on this.
[Loverboy is feeling a little jealous]
"Thode? Clearly bohat! Jao Bhai, etne jealous ho toh bhaga ke aao Deven ko!" I looked at Nakul in confusion.
[Little? A lot! Go Bhai, if you're this jealous then shoo away Deven]
"Who is Deven?" I asked him.
"The same guy at whom you were throwing literal daggers a moment before."Â He replied while pointing towards Deven. I pushed his hand down to avoid the embarrassment if he noticed us.
"His name is Dinesh,"Â I told him confidently.
"It's Deven, bhai. I clearly remember because it's not a very common name. I like unique names because I'm unique." Nakul added the extra piece of information and shrugged later.
Everyone in my family shares the same brain cell as Ananya's.
All the crazy ones.
"It's Dinesh"
"Usko hi puch lete hai. Oye Dinesh! " Rahul shouted but Dinesh didn't even look at us. He didn't hear him probably.
[Let's ask him only. Hey, Dinesh!]
"Oye Deven!" Dinesh was still busy looking at Ananya, laughing, and smiling.
Do I not have the authority to throw someone out of the wedding?
No, might not be good for my reputation. Because my reputation's never been worse.
"Ananya!" I shouted her name because I did not want the great war to start again if I called her Chamatkar again. First of all, she's already very angry with me. I want her to accept my apology, I do not want her to slap me.
Ananya looked at me from the corner of her eyes but didn't even turn completely and ignored me as if she didn't hear me.
That was very mean of her. Very mean.
Very very mean.
"Ananya!" Rahul shouted and she turned at him and passed a smile.
That was meant to multiply by 100.
She did not smile at me. She did not even look at me.
What is this behavior?
"Send Deven here," Rahul said.
"Why? Can you guys not come here?" She asked him back with an irritated tone. Rahul and Nakul walked towards them and dragged me with them too.
Why did she speak when it was about Dinesh?
It's irritating me now.
Firstly, she's mad at me. That is irritating me. But I deserve it, I've heard that from 10 people so I will let it go and accept that it was my fault like a good child.
Good man. I'm not a child. Sorry.
And secondly, she is looking, talking, smiling, laughing, enjoying with him. While I'm dying here for her one look. That is irritating me.
And third, this Dinesh guy is irritating me, very much. I wish to kick him out of the house, but that would be very mean to me. And that would not be Sahil behavior, so I'm controlling myself.
"Yeah so, bro, what is your name?" Rahul asked Dinesh directly. Ananya narrowed her eyebrows and looked at the three of us weirdly.
"Deven" Dinesh replied.
Wait. His name was Dinesh.
"Take that, Bhai. I told you, it's Deven" Nakul shouted and I nodded while my eyes fixed on Ananya who was not being considerate enough to give this poor guy a look.
I want to talk to her and clear things out but everything will happen if she looks at me.
"Alright. I got it now" I muttered.
"You should eat almonds if you don't remember names" Ananya taunted me indirectly.
At least I'm getting an indirect response. Thank you for this chamatkar.
"Tell that to your boyfriend. He kept calling him something else"Â Rahul shrugged.
"I stopped telling anything to my boyfriend." She replied.
"Jagda hua kya aap dono ka?" Rahul asked, his tone was still full of mischief.
[Did you guys fight?]
"Nahi, nahi. Tumhare Bhai se thodi jagda sakti hu main, actually, kisi se nahi kar sakti. Disrespectful lagta hai, you know." She said with a tch sound.
[No, no. I cannot fight with you brother. I cannot fight with anyone. It looks disrespectful, you know]
Damn. The fire is still very hot.
Rahul, Nakul, Dinesh, and Ananya started talking about various random things while I stood there like a statue. I was least interested in any talks, I just wanted to talk to her alone. They were not letting the topic go away and kept talking, so I had to interrupt them.
"Ananya, come with me for a second." She looked at me as if I was asking her to pay off all my debts.
"Please. It's important"Â I added and eyed Nakul, Rahul, so that she would understand the hint and come with me.
"What happened?" She asked. I held her wrist and pulled her out between those three.
"It's personal, just come with me" We walked till we reached the kitchen where thankfully no one was present.
"I do not want to talk to you, Sahil," She said as soon as we entered the kitchen. I filled up a glass of water and held it in front of her.
"Drink water. You might be thirsty after ignoring me" She didn't take the glass but just gave me an irritated expression.
"I'm not." She ended the conversation. I thought she'd say something like 'I can fill up my own' and I'll flirt with her but, no.
"You might be, drink it. You've ignored me a lot today" I suggested. She took the glass in irritation only and drank the glass in one go.
"Thank you so much, for reminding me to stay hydrated. I cannot forget this act of kindness from your side anytime soon. And I would have died if I didn't drink this glass of water." She burst out and walked outside not before banging the glass on the kitchen slab.
You will have to work harder, Sahil. Very harder.
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Pen down your thoughts and goodnight. I was blackmailed to post this chapter today although I'm very sleepy so byeð
{I attended the Taylor Swift Ears tour movie today, never been so happy, best 3 hours of my life}