The morning after was something of a dream. I'm still a bit sore but nothing a couple of paracetamols from the front desk couldn't fix. I wake up not really believing what had happened. Not too long after having my first kiss I've gone and lost my virginity too.
Did I really do that with Parker last night?
Did I actually let another person see me in such a vulnerable state?
Not just any person.
My person.
I've read about girls feeling lost or incomplete after having sex for the first time but I didn't feel that way at all. My soul felt warm at the very thought of touching Parker.
I thanked God that I feel okay about it all because the endless spiral of self-doubt would have absolutely swallowed me whole.
It is finally morning time and I can hear the birds chirping outside of the window. I must've drifted off in Parker's arms. He was still asleep, his brown hair was long overgrown and was laying at odd angles around his head. He looks so peaceful and angelic. His eyelashes long and silky. Lips lush and full.
I give him a light kiss and watch as his eyes flutter open a little bit. His lips upturn into a smile and his cheeks tinge red once he sees me.
"Hello, you." He gushes.
"Hi." I smile back, weirdly shy. I still can't believe this boy is mine and that he's just seen my lady parts. This human boy that loves me for me. "You clench your fists when you sleep, did you know?"
"That tends to happen when you're anxious... even in your dreams." He sighs, rubbing his temples with the tips of his fingers.
"Are you worried about seeing your dad?" I rub circles on his palms and trace a little heart on them.
He shakes his head like he can't believe that he's still doing this. "Terrified."
"It'll be fine." I couldn't make that promise but I crossed my fingers and hoped it would be.
"Course it will. I've got my lucky charm with me, ain't I?" He pulls me in for a tickle and I squeal uncontrollably as his fast fingers work their way around my ribs.
"You know what? We should do something fun today." He props himself up on one arm and faces me. He was bare-chested and I could see the little mole that laid on his right pec. I had to sit on my hands to stop myself from reaching over and tracing it with my fingers.
I look at him, wondering what he was thinking about. "More fun than what we did, last night?" I immediately cringe at the words that just left my mouth. "Oh my goodness, forget I said that." I clasp my hands across my face.
He throws his head back laughing and removes my hands, holding them in his own and kissing my fingertips. "Haha, you nutter, I'm never going to let you live that down."
I stick my tongue out at him "Okay, so what do you want to do?"
"I don't know, I've never run away on Christmas before." He chuckles again.
I shrug, not really sure what to suggest. "Me neither."
He snaps his fingers like he just got a brilliant idea. "I know! Breakfast."
Almost on cue, my stomach made a loud rumbling sound. "Yeah, I think you've got the right idea."
We quickly get ready and check out. Rushing to his car in our wet trainers as fresh snow begins to fall.
"Hurry up!" I urge him to open the car as soon as possible. My legs were practically becoming icicles and the hoodie he gave me earlier wasn't doing enough justice. I need to feel the warmth of his cars heating.
"It's open, miss bossy." He opens my door for me and then hops in on the other side, the driver's seat. His cheeks were flushed red from the cold and his lips were chapped and dry.
"To food, we go!" He jingles his keys excitedly. I'm happy he has momentarily forgotten about the ordeal that was bound to ensue later.
We decide on the only small café open at this time on Christmas. The entire place is decorated with holiday decorations that looked like they'd been taken out of a box labelled '1984' and the sound of Michael Bublé was playing in the speakers.
"What can I get for you two?" A middle-aged lady who resembles a human teddy bear asks us. "Seeing as it's Christmas and you're the only ones in here, I'll do it for you free of charge."
Before we could even get a word out she interrupts us saying, "Ah-ah, I know just the thing." and scurries away to the small kitchen in the back.
We sit across from each other in a booth next to the frosted over window, just silently laughing.
"What just happened?" I giggle. She didn't even take our order.
He shrugs his shoulders and plays with the plastic straws in front of him. "I don't know but it's free! I hope she gives us hot chocolate, I'm proper craving it right now."
"Me too...mmm with the whipped cream on top..." I lick my lips at the thought.
"And the marshmallows ugh.." He completes, his eyes rolling to the back of his, delirious from the thought of it.
The lady comes round with a tray filled with gingerbread cookies, hot chocolate (with whipped cream and marshmallows, yum!) and cinnamon French toasts. Parker tried to pay but she refused to accept the money. "Merry Christmas, you two."
"Thank you so much!" Parker beams giving her one of his famous charming smiles. The smitten old woman fell for it and reassured him that it was her treat and to just call if he wanted anything more.
As we stuff the food into our mouths, I finally get the courage to ask Parker something I'd been meaning to ask him since we got into the car.
"So, this is nice..." I begin. Playing around with the gingerbread men.
He chews thoughtfully and peers at me with his piercing grey eyes. "I know that face. You want to ask me something, don't you? Go ahead."
I sigh, it's like he read my mind. "Okay, what exactly is your plan for today?" He stops chewing and watches me quietly. He was searching for an answer he knew he wouldn't be able to find.
Eventually, he shrugs and continues cutting up his french toast. "I'll be honest, Harley. I don't know,"
"That's okay." He looks like a lost child as soon as I ask him. The syrup from the pancake was on his chin now and his hands were all sticky and messy. I use my thumb to remove the syrup and lick it afterwards. "Can I at least ask when the last time you spoke to him was? I'm being nosey, yes."
"My father?" I notice his constant use of 'father' rather than dad, a sense of detachment.
I nod at him.
"Probably when I was a toddler but I don't remember." He puts a piece of toast in his mouth and chews quickly.
"Wow," My eyes go wide. "I had no idea."
"You wouldn't." He shrugs. "It's not as if I go around talking about how I don't have a dad." He pauses and looks at the hurt expression on my face. That was a bit harsh. "Harley, I'm so sorry, that came across really insensitive."
"It's fine." I sniff.
"It's not; I should have chosen my words carefully." He picks up his gingerbread man who was missing half a leg and uses it as a puppet. "Please, forgive my idiot of a master, Miss Pencils." He mimics in a weird little voice.
I roll my eyes at him and chuckle. "Only if he lets me eat your other leg."
Parker breaks the other leg in half and throws it at me. I catch it in my mouth. "Deal."
I lick my lips and lean forward. "Do you ever wonder what it would've been like if he stayed?"
"Sometimes." He shakes his head, his hair bouncing about similar to Zacchias'. "But I'm happy I've got my mum. She's the best. If he was here he'd only make her sad, I'm sure."
I nod and eat the gingerbread. No wonder I never saw any pictures of his father in his house. This whole time I just assumed that Parker had this perfect nuclear family like everyone else. But, in reality, we had more in common than we thought.
"You're okay, Parker," I say, downing the last of my hot chocolate.
"You're okay too, Pencils." He smiles.
Once we've finish eating, the old teddy bear-like lady comes back to clear our plates away.
"If you're not planning on doing anything today, you can go up to the hills. I know there's a great sledging place round there, I used to take the kids when they were little." She informs us, juggling the plates in her surprisingly strong hands. "It's up near Freyton burrows."
She took one glance at our blank faces and said, "You have no clue where the Freyton burrows are, do you?" We simultaneously shake our heads 'no'. "You're not from around here?"
"We're from Beaumont, we're only visiting for the day." Parker pipes up, looking at me with childish excitement in his eyes.
"Ahhh I see," She winks at him. "Visiting the family, eh?"
Parker coughs awkwardly. "Something like that." He mutters.
"Hold on, I'll get Mike to take you in his truck." She hobbles to the back with all her plates, frantically calling Mikes name. "I'm sure he won't mind."
Out comes a large heavyset man with greying hair and a long grey beard.
"Santa?" Parker whispers, eyes wide. I kick him under the chair. "I mean, hello."
"Hi." He says, gruffly. He has a scratchy deep voice. "Susan here tells me you're looking for the burrows over in Freyton?"
"Yes, my girlfriend and I here are interested in sledging." He says, gesturing over at me. He blushes realising what he had just said. He leans in closer to me quickly, making sure only I could hear what he was about to ask. "That's okay if I call you that, right?"
I nod at him, speechless. Girlfriend... I guess I'm Parker Sorrisi's girlfriend now.
"Ah, young love, Susan and I used to have that." He grins nostalgically.
Parker raises his eyebrows thoughtfully. "What do you have now?"
"Old love." He jangles his keys in front of us and begins to head out. "You coming?"
Authors note- thank you so much to those who have commented, I've been smiling all day! I really appreciate it and I'm glad you guys are enjoying the book <3