Chapter 13: Chapter 13

LANCE

I want to ask Wren if she wants to go somewhere quieter. I’m trying to work up the nerve to ask her out on a date, but I think I need some more liquid courage.

Before the words come out, we’re interrupted. I look over and see Emma standing next to us.

I shove my hands in my pockets like I’ve been caught doing something wrong. Then I get mad for reacting this way, take them out and cross them across my chest. Wren shifts uncomfortably.

“Please, Lance, I really need to talk to you.” Emma looks at Wren then back at me.

“I have to ask Grant something, I’ll catch up with you later,” Wren says to me. I nod back to her.

Emma smiles politely at Wren and then gives me her best, sweet smile. It’s the same smile I saw when she was trying to convince me to take a tropical vacation with her friends or to buy her the luxury car she wanted.

My face is still. I can’t even muster a smile as my anger returns in full force.

She follows me up the steps to my parents’ patio, where we take a seat at the table. I fold my hands in front of me and wait for her to speak. She sits down and fluffs her hair, then looks at me.

“How are you, Lance?”

“Fine,” I say. She flinches at my short, vague reply.

She looks down at her hands then up at me again.

“That’s good, I’m glad. You look great,” she says with a sparkling smile. “So, um, who were you dancing with? Are you two, like, dating?”

I sigh. “What do you want, Emma?”

“I…” She starts twirling a small strand of her hair, a nervous habit I used to find endearing. “I don’t know, I just...miss you a lot. This is so much harder than I expected.”

I chuckle sarcastically. “Yeah? This been a hard year for you, Emma? Jesus, it’s still all about you, isn’t it?”

Her eyes well with tears. My heart softens even though I desperately don’t want it to.

“I deserve that. I know what I did was so hurtful. I just knew I couldn’t be who you needed me to be, Lance.” She sniffles.

“I truly thought I was doing what was best for you even though it was incredibly painful for both of us.” She pauses. When I don’t respond, she continues.

“Think about it. You almost died and we weren’t sure if you were going to make it. Then you did and you needed so much care, and I realized how ill-equipped I was for that.

“I left my job, moved out of my house—our house—my whole life changed too.”

I try to remain cold but my shoulders relax. I never thought about how much she was giving up by ending our relationship.

“I...hadn’t thought about all that. I’m sorry.”

She smiles again and suddenly it feels like old times, though I’m not sure how I feel about that. I’d thought I had it all back then but now I’m not sure I did.

“I have a new place. It’s a condo in Whitefish, close to the resort that I’m working for, but it doesn’t feel very...homey.”

I chuckle. “I thought you hated living here, it was too ‘rustic farmhouse’ for you,” I say, repeating the words she used to say over and over.

“Yeah, well, I was wrong about a lot of stuff I think.”

My eyebrows go up. It’s the first time I can remember her admitting a shortcoming. Maybe I’m not the only one who’s been through some significant changes in the last year.

Emma reaches over and grabs my hand.

“I miss you, Lance. I miss our home, I miss our life. I even miss your family. Do you...miss me?” She flutters her lashes. “I mean, would you...consider giving us another chance?”

I pause as the last year, then the five years before that flash through my mind. I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to stifle the painful emotions.

“Emma, I just—”

“Wait, before you answer, can you please just think about it?”

“Em...”

“I just think you owe it to yourself not to make a rash decision. If you still feel the same in a week, then you can tell me and I promise I’ll leave you alone.” She squeezes my hand.

“Fine.”

She jumps up excitedly and wraps her arms around my neck. I hug her back out of instinct.

It’s been so long since I’ve held her tiny frame, but the muscle memory is there—the small of her back, the curve of her clavicle, the smell of her hair…

I snap out of it and pull back, annoyed that I allowed myself to indulge in a past that I don’t want to return to. I shove my hands in my pocket again.

In the distance I see Wren’s tall, slender frame meandering toward the barn with Puck by her side. Disappointment that she’s leaving settles in my chest.

“Lance?”

I snap back to the present and look at Emma.

“I asked if you wanted to get dinner on Saturday, next weekend? You know, so we can talk? You can come to Whitefish so we can go to one of the fancy restaurants!”

“Uh, I don’t think—”

“Okay, okay, sorry for rushing you. It’s just so nice to see you. I’ll just give you a call then, okay?” Emma’s eyes sparkle with hope and I avoid looking at them.

“Do you mind if I go back to the party for a bit? Just to say hi to some people?” she asks.

I nod and follow her back to the pavilion where I get a stiff whiskey sour and post up at the quieter end of the pavilion.

I see or hear Emma saying hello to my brothers and several of the crew members she interacted with when she lived and worked here. Every drink I take deepens my annoyance.

Why did she have to come? Why did she have to stay? Things would be much easier if she had left me to hate her in peace. But hate is far easier than forgiveness.

“Lance,” my dad approaches and claps me on the back, “you okay?”

My dad is much more introverted than my mom. While my mom could talk to a person in a coma for hours, my dad usually only speaks when there is something important to say.

They are yin and yang, perfect complements of each other. I thought that’s what Emma and I were.

“Yeah, I think so.” I finish the first sip of my drink.

“Good thing you didn’t become a lawyer. You’re a terrible liar.”

I laugh.

“So...Emma,” he says.

I look at him and he raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah...”

“You getting back together?”

I shake my head. “I...don’t know. She wants to. By all the stats, I should. We have history, we know what we’re getting with each other. But I’m just not sure.”

Dad nods. “I mean, if you are anything except over the goddamn moon about it, then maybe it’s not the right thing for you.”

I turn to him. “But what if I don’t make the right decision?”

“What’s right?”

I sigh. “What if she’s who I’m supposed to be with and I say no 'cause I’m still angry?”

“Soul mates aren’t a thing, son. I love your Mom, more than anything, but I don’t believe the universe brought us together.

“I believe we fell in love and we both worked hard to build our relationship up. Then we decided to test it by having four tiny tornadoes we call sons.”

I laugh.

“Point is, whichever path you choose to invest yourself in will be the right one.”

I nod and smile. ~Fuck if he doesn’t make sense.~

“Hi, Leonard.” Emma is suddenly standing beside us.

Dad tips his hat to her. “Emma, how ya been?”

She sighs dramatically. “I’m okay. It’s good to be back. Lance, would you mind walking me to my car?”

“Sure,” I say.

As we approach her car, Emma turns to me and puts her arms around my neck. “So, I’ll call you next weekend.”

Then, before I can respond, she gives me a gentle kiss on the lips.

It all happens so fast, I don’t even know how to respond. But as she drives away I only feel relief and guilt. And I know, then and there, we are not meant to be together.