Chapter 20: Chapter Nineteen

Thanks to ameticia for the banner!

--------------------------------------

Have you ever noticed in cliché romance novels the main character always magically knows how to kiss like an expert, even if they’ve never done it before?

From this I draw two conclusions. One: I need to stop reading so many of those novels. Two: I should stop expecting my life to be anything remotely like a book or a movie, because it’s definitely not. Oh, no. In case you haven’t noticed, Georgie, this is reality.

And, to put it plainly, reality sucks.

If you haven’t caught on yet, I’ll spell it out for you: I can’t kiss.

I’m not even entirely sure it counts. I mean, in the heat of the moment (and by that, I mean the small window of opportunity when Connor happened to be looking in our direction), I just kind of grabbed Nathan and forced our lips together.

Not the most romantic of moments, but I suppose it got the job done.

What are you even supposed to do, anyway? They should teach this type of thing in high school, instead of all the math-related and useless crap they junk up our heads with. I swear, knowing how to kiss would be a lot more useful than knowing how to find the square root of y when x is indirectly proportional to another random letter of the alphabet.

After a few seconds of extremely awkward lip contact, I pull away. I’m kind of afraid to see Nathan’s expression, actually. What if he’s been mentally assessing my lip-locking ability and holding back a laugh at how inexperienced I obviously am? Nathan’s a nice guy, but...

Well, even I know that attempt was shameful.

However, much to my relief, Nathan doesn’t look like he’s about to burst out laughing. In fact, he looks a little flustered when I finally bring myself to look at him.

“Um...” I begin.

“Whoa,” Nathan breathes, as he runs a hand through his blonde hair. “Did that really just happen?”

“Oh God, I’m sorry,” I blurt out. “I didn’t mean to do that so quickly, but... I don’t know, it just happened. If you want we can just forget about it and–”

“Georgie,” he says, cutting me off with a laugh, “shh. It’s fine. We don’t have to forget about it.”

The Ferris wheel suddenly whirs to life, taking us upwards with short juddering movements. We reach about halfway between our original position and the top before it comes to a halt, presumably to let the people in the bottom compartment off. At our elevated height, the whole carnival is visible. Huddles of people by various stalls, in queue for some of the more gut-wrenching rides, merely walking around to sustain body heat. It’s a kaleidoscope in itself, which I would probably pay more attention to if I wasn’t stuck in this very awkward situation right now.

“We don’t?”

“No,” he answers. “I’ve... well, I’ve been waiting for that for a long time.”

“You have?”

I seem to have lost the ability to do anything but repeat after him.

“Yeah,” he admits sheepishly. “I’ve always had a bit of a crush on you, actually. When Mr. Moore asked if I’d be up for tutoring, I couldn’t believe my luck. We could actually start hanging out, and that only made me like you more.”

“That’s so sweet,” I say quietly.

It might be sweet, but it’s making my mood dampen rapidly. The words sound so sincere, and by the looks of the expression on Nathan’s face, what he’s telling me is difficult to admit. Does he have to be this honest? Oh God, I should’ve picked a jerkier guy to ask out. At least then I’d be able to do this whole jealousy thing without being crippled by guilt.

“Of course, I was way too much of a coward to ask you out myself. Maybe I’d have got the courage to do it eventually, but... well, it definitely wasn’t happening any time soon. I couldn’t believe it when you invited me here.”

I sigh deeply, but put on a brave face. “You’re so sweet,” I repeat honestly. “I would’ve totally said yes if you’d asked. Seriously, you’re like the nicest guy I know.”

I take his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers despite both of them being covered in the thick fabric of our gloves. It doesn’t look like we’re going to be removing them any time soon either – unless we have a change of heart and decide we actually enjoy the sensation of glaciated fingers.

“Really?”

“Yeah.” It’s true, after all. The only other guy I’m more than acquaintances with happens to be sat two seats behind us, and the only reason I’m on this date. Obviously, he’s not exactly a contender in any “nicest guy” competition, especially when pitted against Nathan, who’s got a heart of gold.

I’m not sure Connor even has an inch of kindness inside him. Well, not towards me, anyway.

Our hands don’t leave each other’s grasp until the Ferris wheel has completed an entire rotation. It’s only when our compartment judders to a halt at the bottom – and I breathe a sigh of intense relief at finally feeling the ground beneath my feet again – and we have to climb out that we let go.

“So… what now?” Nathan asks as we begin to walk away from the Ferris wheel.

“You pick,” I say. “I chose the last one, anyway.”

“Hmm…” His eyes scan over the various other attractions dotted around the place. It doesn’t occur to me then that maybe I should be a little wary. They focus on something behind me before glimmering mischievously. “The Orbiter.”

I’m not sure if it’s the word or the way his face is twisted into a smirk that makes my stomach sink. Biting my lip, I turn around slowly to catch a glimpse at the ride behind me. That’s when my suspicions are confirmed.

It makes an appearance at the carnival every year. From the outside, it doesn’t look much, but it’s kind of an unspoken fact that once you’re on the ride, you’ll eat your words. To put it simply, it has a number of huge metal arms coming from the center, each holding a cluster of paired seats. Once you’re pinned down by the seats’ shoulder bars, all hell breaks loose. Not only are you lifted into the air and spun from the center, the arms rotate as well. All this happens at a dangerously high speed, too. Just looking at the spinning spectacle is enough to make me nauseous.

I turn back to him, shaking my head profusely. “Uh uh. No way.”

“Aw, come on, Georgie,” Nathan says, “you told me I could pick.”

“I’m not going on Orbiter!”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want to die!” I respond, crossing my arms and pouting. I’m going for the innocent puppy dog look that I hope will give Nathan second thoughts, but I’m not sure it’s too effective. “There’s no way you can drag me on that thing.”

“You still want me to tutor you in algebra?”

I blink. “Yeah...”

“I can easily stop,” he says tauntingly. “Then you’ll have to cope all by yourself. How does that sound?”

“You can’t do that!” I protest, wondering if he’s serious. “Mr. Moore paired us together. He’s counting on you to make me pass this class.”

“So you’ll go on Orbiter?”

“No!”

“Come on, Georgie. It’s not that bad. It’s perfectly safe,” he assures me. “And if you get scared, I’ll even hold your hand. Just... think of it as a faster Ferris wheel.”

I shoot him a flat look. “You did not just say that,” I say. “Did you see me freaking out on that thing?”

Nathan’s unable to stop a laugh from escaping his lips at the memory of ten minutes ago. I suppose, from another person’s perspective, seeing me dangerously close to hyperventilating only halfway up the wheel would be kind of funny. God, I’m such a loser. “It’ll be over before you know it. Come on, we can’t visit the carnival without going on Orbiter. It’d be a crime.”

“Do we have to?” I plead, but even I can feel my stubbornness wearing away.

“Yes,” he answers, taking my hand. “It’ll be fun.”

“If I die, I’m suing you,” I warn in a low tone as Nathan begins to lead us in the direction of the wildly spinning ride. It makes my heart leap just looking at it, but I force myself to keep my cool. Not that I ever had it in the first place.

“I think you’ll find it pretty hard to sue from the afterlife,” he points out, chuckling.

It doesn’t take long for us to trudge across the field, even with me trailing reluctantly behind. As we enter the queue line, Nathan gives my hand a comforting squeeze. This, in turn, only makes my stomach clench harder. I’m not sure whether it’s from the prospect of boarding the ride, or whether it’s the guilt making an unwelcome reappearance.

Before I even have a chance to consider it, he’s handed two tokens to another tattooed attendant and we’re already climbing onto the metal platform of the ride.

Which is when I start freaking out.

“Come on,” Nathan says encouragingly, leading me over to an empty pair of seats with shoulder bars raised high in the air. “Hop on.”

I swallow before mimicking his actions and climbing awkwardly into the adjacent seat. The cold plastic is only marginally more comfortable than if I happened to be sitting on a pile of iron nails. As the shoulder bar clicks into position, I grip onto it tightly. How safe is this thing? It seems to be rattling a bit... is that supposed to happen? Oh God, I can’t believe I’ve been talked into this.

Next to me, Nathan sends me what is supposed to be an encouraging smile.

Unfortunately for him, probably the only thing that calm me down right now is a sleeping tablet.

Suddenly, there’s a loud clunk and we’re being lifted up into the air. The slow movement is just to get us out the way of the metal floor, but it still freaks me out. We’re barely two seconds into the ride and already I feel like I’m about to start hyperventilating.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” I squeak at Nathan.

“You don’t need to look so worried,” he says, as I wonder at how calm he appears. As if he’s doing nothing more daring than lying on the couch at home. “It’ll be fun. I promise.”

He reaches over and pulls my hand from its clenched state, taking it in his own. I’m about to tell him that I’d feel a lot safer if I could cling for dear life onto something more stable, but I don’t get the chance. Before I can even force the first word out my mouth, there’s a sudden whoosh of air and we’re lurched forward.

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

Within seconds I completely lose all sense of direction. It’s impossible to tell whether we’re even the right way up when we’re constantly being spun every which way. My head slams into the back of the seat and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, hoping that this will somehow detract from the horror of it all.

It doesn’t.

A high-pitched scream escapes me, drowning out the sound of Nathan’s mild chuckling to my right. I grip his hand tighter, not even thinking about the blood circulation I’m probably cutting off by doing so.

“I… hate… you!” I force out through gritted teeth, before I get a mouthful of my own hair.

Nathan just laughs heartily in response, obviously enjoying himself. If I wasn’t pinned to my seat under the intense G-force, I’d probably be staring incredulously at him. How can anyone possibly enjoy this hellish experience?

Another strangled scream escapes me as the ride lurches to a stop, leaving our seats hanging upside down in mid-air. My hair dangles below me and I try as hard as I can not to think of the possibility of getting stuck in this position.

This is hell. This is hell. This is hell.

I chant the words repeatedly in my head until I feel the ride’s speed beginning to decrease. We begin the descent towards the ground and when the click of the released shoulder bars greets my ears, I breathe a huge sigh of relief.

In all honesty, I’m amazed I even made it through without dying.

Or puking.

My stomach’s tied in knots and still churning, though, so I’m not going to place any bets on that one.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Nathan says, as he hops down from the seat. He looks completely calm, and I wonder if he’s actually been on the same ride as me.

“Are you kidding me?” I retort, as he holds out a hand to help me down. “It was very bad. You promised me it would be fun.”

When I regain a standing position, it’s a miracle that I don’t fall flat on my face. My legs feel like Jell-O, completely incapable of even holding me up. The only thing stopping me from collapsing in a pathetic heap is Nathan leading me towards the ride’s exit.

“Don’t you feel so much better now that you’ve done it?”

“No,” I respond, “in fact, I feel like I’m going to throw up.”

“You do?” His expression is genuinely concerned. It’s true, though; I don’t think I can stomach anymore rides tonight. And there is no way I’m risking another “Connor’s party” episode. Those things will never end well.

Suddenly, my gaze catches on a sight that doesn’t help my uneasy stomach. Striding across the field towards the exit is none other than the enemy, his arm draped cockily over his girlfriend’s shoulder. Although it might be a little easier to see his girlfriend if she wasn’t obscured by the oversized pink fluffy bear she’s carrying.

Ugh… can you get any tackier?

“Um, yeah,” I say, turning back to Nathan. “Do you think it’d be okay if we just went home? I’m not really feeling up to the rides at the moment. Sorry.”

His face softens. “It’s fine. It’s my fault, anyway. I shouldn’t have made you go on Orbiter.”

“No, it’s not,” I insist as he slips a hand behind my waist. “I was the one who agreed to go on, anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

I am feeling nauseous, but not to the extent Nathan thinks. Although Orbiter has left my insides incredibly churned up and altogether Jell-O, I admit that the main reason I want to leave is to keep Connor in my sight. At least if we leave now, we might cross paths near our houses.

And that’s a sure-fire way of ensuring Connor witnesses a second kiss...

As we trudge out of the gate, I try to focus on something other than the reappearing guilt about what I’m doing to Nathan.

***

“I had a really good time tonight.”

I can’t help but smile at the sincerity in Nathan’s blue eyes, which almost appear luminous against the dark sky. “So did I.”

“Are you feeling any better now?” he asks.

“A little.”

“So...” The corners of Nathan’s lips tug upwards into a smirk that’s still tinged with his signature shyness. “Can I kiss you without the risk of you throwing up on me?”

I laugh, pretending to ponder on the thought. “I think you’re safe.”

He hesitates for a brief second before leaning downwards. Our lips meet gently, barely brushing over each other before I gain courage and press a bit harder. It’s a sweet second kiss – only lasting for a few seconds before we break away. And while it’s not such a pitiful attempt as the Ferris wheel incident, well...

I’m not going to be winning any Best Kisser awards anytime soon.

“So, I’ll see you Monday,” he says.

“Yeah,” I breathe. “See you then.”

He offers me a small smile before turning to head down my front path. Reaching his slightly worn-out truck, he hops in the driver’s side and turns the ignition. Even from some distance away, I catch a glimpse of his grimace when the vehicle doesn’t start properly on the first try. Thankfully, after a bit of encouragement, the engine roars to life and Nathan’s able to give one last wave before driving off down the street.

Standing on the porch alone, I sigh.

Am I a bad person for doing this? Nathan’s such a sweet guy; it’s impossible not to like him. But do I like him in that way? Sure, he’s becoming one of my closest friends (not to mention steering me away from the path of failure in algebra), but... well, I’m not sure I felt any fireworks in that kiss.

Does the whole fireworks thing even exist, anyway? It’s not like I’d know; I’m far from experienced in the dating department. Maybe it’s just something they talk about in movies, but doesn’t actually happen.

God, this whole thing is confusing.

I’m not sure if it’s even worth all the stress.

Retrieving the key from my pocket, I unlock the front door and head upstairs immediately, not bothering to check my mom’s whereabouts. She’s probably tied up marking third graders’ homework at the dining table. Anyway, I’m not exactly in the mood for one of her gossip-seeking interrogations at this moment.

Inside my bedroom, it’s much colder than I anticipated. After spending hours in the cold already, I can do without my room being like a freezer for the night. Sighing irritably, I realize I must have left the window open. I go over to it and pull away the blind so I’m able to yank it closed.

Just as I’m about to do so, I stop in my tracks. Connor’s bedroom is flooded with light, and the guy himself is in plain view. Looking right at me.

Actually, scratch that. Glaring right at me.

Oh, crap. Our eye contact lasts for a few seconds before I panic and yank the window shut as quickly as my co-ordination will allow me. The blind falls back into place and I collapse against the nearest wall, sliding downwards until my butt touches the soft carpet.

At least there’s one thing that’s clear now: Connor’s definitely jealous.

He doesn’t have any reason to be. He’s the one who started this whole jerk thing, not me. Still, I can’t turn back time and erase this evening’s events. It’s happened already. Even though the death glare of ten seconds ago was kind of scary, there’s no stopping the feeling of satisfaction that washes over me. That angry look means one thing, and one thing only.

My plan is working.

Phase One is complete; this is the start of our jealousy strategy. All we have to do now is up our game.

-------------------------------------

The upload's actually on time today! I bet that surprised you. I figured I owe it to you since you got me to 200,000 reads! Still kind of in shock, 'cause with less than 20 chapters that's amazing. I can't believe people like this story so much, BUT THANK YOU.

Also, this story now has a trailer! Thanks so much to Fallzswimmer for making it, it's amazing! I'll put it on the side so you should watch that :D Until next time guys <3