Fangs? How the hell did I get fangs? I pulled my lips back and opened my mouth wide, knocking my head against the mirror in my attempt to get a closer look at my pointy pearly whites. This can't be real. It must still be the after effects of the drugs giving me hallucinations. Reaching up, I carefully poked my index finger against the tip of one of them.
"Ouch!" I pulled back my injured digit, shocked to see a bead of blood form from the perfect round little hole.
My throat tightened uncomfortably. This can't be. If these teeth were real, that would mean I was...I gulped hard...a vampire. Suddenly, I remembered my dream and jerked my hands up to the top of my head searching for rabbit ears, while I spun in a tight circle looking for a fluffy tail. I sighed, leaning against the sink in relief when I came up earless and found no cotton tail sticking out of my butt. At least I wasn't turning into a rabid rabbit.
As happy as I was about that and the fact I wouldn't be developing a desire to munch through my closet of shoes anytime soon, it still didn't make me feel better. Okay, maybe a little better. I had some really awesome shoes.
Maybe I should CSI this situation or better yet, use my inner Mulder and Scully since this would be right up an episode of X-Files alley and this shit could definitely be classified as some bizarre paranormal phenomena.
Okay...so Mulder would automatically believe in the existence of vampires, so I will have to channel Scully's skeptic attitude and scientifically debunk why this just wasn't possible. That didn't sound too hard.
I focused on the mirror searching for any visual evidence. My green eyes seemed to be greener than normal. I blinked. The eyes in the mirror blinked back. Yup, they were my eyes. The exaggerated color could be a residual effect of whatever concoction creepy science-man pumped me full of.
I crossed it off my list, impressed with my scientifical skills. Narrowing my eyes, I looked at myself critically. My skin was pale, but then again...my skin was always pale, so that too got checked off as any indication. Time ticked by as I tried to think of anything else to investigate, but no other light bulbs ignited in my brain. I sucked my cheeks together and made a fish face. I bet Scully couldn't pull that off with a mouth full of fangs.
Sighing, I turned away from the mirror and plunked my butt down on the toilet seat. Usually, it's where I did my best thinking, but even it seemed to abandon me. I dug my toes into the red shag and fought back a sniffle. Tears wouldn't help. All they would do is make my face blotchy and cause my nose to glow like Rudolph. I already had fangs, I didn't need to look like a beloved Christmas reindeer too.
Resting my elbows on my knees, I cradled my chin in my hands. Maybe instead of looking at this scientifically which was harder than I thought, I should go with what I knew about vampires. Which sadly, wasn't much. I was never a Dungeon and Dragons kind of gal, but I did love Halloween.
Screwing up my face, I fired up my brainwaves. Vampires were members of the undead. I looked down at myself, I was pretty lively for being undead. But, if those were the rules, I suppose I could live with that...or...not live with them whichever the case may be. Vampires had fangs, check. They're scared of the sun. I popped my head up and looked out the window into darkness. Can't be checking that one off quite yet. Turning back around, I tried to come up with more facts, when it hit me. Reflections! Vampires don't have a reflection!
Jumping up, I turned back to the mirror. I jiggled, jumped, waved, hooted and hollered in front of the glass and a perfectly synchronized version of me repeated every move I made. I had a reflection! I dodged in and out of the frame a few times just to make scientifically sure I was accurate. Stick that in your pipe Scully and smoke it.
But the smile quickly vanished when the fangs appeared and I flopped back on the throne. Yes, I had a reflection, but I also still had a dental job from hell. I needed help, but from who? I hated to say it, but I really didn't have any friends and there was no way I was calling Baboon Brion.
Growing up in the foster system, you learned early on not to get close to anyone. An unexpected pregnancy on the foster mothers end or an accidental bad judgement of putting together a rocket and firing it off in the kitchen putting a hole through three levels, could send you on your way to the next foster family in a hurry.
Needless to say, I moved around...a lot. So developing a close friendship with anyone was out of the question. But I never felt sorry for myself. It's not like I'm scarred for life or anything. I had my books, movies, video games and was always proficient at entertaining myself, even if that meant causing whatever family I was with a little extra excitement.
Well...I sighed...whatever I planned to do, I couldn't do it parading around in just my towel. Although old Mr. Reynold from across the street's pacemaker would get a happy workout. I got off the toilet and shuffled off to my bedroom. Clicking on the light, I walked towards my closet and wondered what a female member of the undead would wear.
I'm thinking sundresses where out of the question. Shoving those to the side, I dove into the fall apparel and pulled out a black turtle neck sweater and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans, my favorite pair. You know those ones that fit so perfectly, you feel like you are wearing nothing at all? These were that pair and had the extra benefit of making my butt look smoking hot. Reaching into the bottom, I pulled out a pair of knee-high black leather books with enough of a heel capable of boosting me up to reach things on the top shelf.
In no time flat, I was back in my bathroom, fluffing out my coppery locks which cascaded in a riot of curls down my back, for once behaving itself. Maybe it sensed I was a tick away from going Edward Scissorhands. Twisting and turning, I gave myself a fangy smile. I looked like a total badass and just to prove it, I hissed loudly at the mirror. Oh yeah...Halloween was going to be freaking awesome this year.
The sound of a rooster crowing caught my attention. Nobody in the neighborhood knew where the damn bird came from, but every morning, just before dawn, it would start with the cock-a-doodle-doing. If I had my way about it, he would have been deep fried extra crispy served with a side of coleslaw and mashed potatoes. Especially when he did the good-morning wakeup call on my days off.
I was strutting my stuff into the living room when Foghorn Leghorn sounded off again. Dawn! I scampered to the window and pulled back the heavy floral drapes. The clouds where backlit in a glorious blushing pink as the sun began to break over the tops of the houses and trees. The birds sang and the Earth was stretching its arms to welcome another beautiful day...it was the most horrific sight.
I quickly closed the curtains as tight as I could get them before I ran around the house pulling every shade and throwing up towels and blankets over the ones that didn't have any kind of protection. But nothing could stop the relentless rays of sunshine from destroying the wonderful darkness as it marched its way past my flimsy barriers.
I ran into the living room to grab my purse before heading to my windowless bedroom, but a streak of dastardly daylight snuck through and separated me from my sanctuary. Drat! I clutched my bag to my chest, stepping back as the beam of golden light grew wider. Panic set in when I discovered my back was up against the door. I had nowhere to go. I scanned the room for a possible escape and in a last ditch effort to save my undead butt, I ran, vaulting behind the couch in a move that would make Jason Bourne proud.
Quickly I grabbed the knitted afghan off the back of it and built myself a makeshift fort. Fortunately for me, whoever made the blanket was talented with the needles and none of the beams made it into my little safety zone.
Digging through my purse, I pulled out my cell phone. My only source of entertainment for the next...I glanced at the time...eight hours. I sighed and leaned my head against the wall. At least I had a half of a battery left and I went to the one source on the planet who could possibly help me. Google.
Vampires, werewolves and zombies...oh my! I was a long way from Kansas baby. Not that I actually ever lived anywhere near Kansas, but you get my point. Holy Moses on a pogo stick, there was a lot of material out there on the information super highway when it came to vampires and the undead.
I read things from Vlad the Impaler...not a very nice fellow, to Bela Lugosi...creepy guy, finally ending with Edward Cullen...the shiny vampire. I spent a good thirty minutes of my phone battery trying to figure out whether I glittered or not and came to the conclusion that I got short changed in that department. If I was going to be a stupid vampire at the very least I should be all sparkly like diamonds. What a rip!
Of course, there were also a plethora of information based on how to kill a vampire. For the undead, we were rather easily disposable. Apparently I could live for thousands of years, but by George, don't come near me with a toothpick, garlic or holy water. There went my love for Tony's Genuine Italian Pizza, which is covered in delicious garlic and actually made in Pittsburg. Not a whole lot of people know that.
Three hours later, my phone finally gave up the ghost, unlike me, it was officially dead. With nothing to do, I sat behind the couch, scrunched in a fetal position, hiding from the sliver of sun that managed to squeeze its way through my defenses. My tormentor. Once a beloved friend, now held me captive behind this couch with nothing to keep me company but some cobwebs and fuzzy dust bunnies. At least these ones were friendly...gross...but friendly.
Another hour or so crawled by. I really had no idea, it's not like I had a sundial back here, although, I had to admit I could see everything perfectly. Every speck, spot and stain stood out in all its glory and made me realize my housekeeping skills could use some improvement.
Letting my newly improved eyes wander, I spotted a small, dark colored disk amongst the shag carpet. Slowly, I eased my way over to it. Score! A brown M&M. My stomach rumbled loudly. I was starving. Food was the one thing I ran into conflicting information on. Some said, yes, vampires could consume food...others rebutted that with an all liquid diet. A red liquid diet. A blood diet...I moaned. I never was one for smoothies.
Staring at the spot of chocolate in my palm, I debated what to do. What's the worst that could happen? I mean...I was already dead, right? Shrugging, I popped the tiny sweet treat into my mouth. I carefully chewed, trying not to puncture my lips with my newly acquired fangs. Within seconds it was gone and I licked my lips nervously waiting to see what would happen. When nothing did, I smiled. Today was looking up.
Ah...Google. A vampires best friend. Will Mel ever get out from behind the couch? Stay tuned for the next installment of FANGED to find out.
Hey everyone! I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. If you liked it please give it a vote and comments are always appreciated. If you don't see any updates here...check out my other two stories Bending Steele or When Roses Collide.