I swallowed back a scream that would have been loud enough to shred eardrums as I stomped my foot in irritation. Drat! So much for me acting like an adult which lasted maybe a total of 15 minutes. Oh well...being an adult was highly overrated anyway. Sighing, I closed my eyes and tried to erase the vision of all that male provocativeness leaning so causally against the wall. He might as well had worn a "Come and Get It" sign around his neck.
Fang was making the whole...let's not sleep with the sexy vampire...thing harder to do by the minute and knowing him, he was probably doing it on purpose. Okay...technically I can't blame him, but since I have decided to forget the whole grownup thing...I totally was. A soft knock sounded on the door and I growled at it like a pissed off badger.
"Is there a problem, Red?" he asked, playing all sweet and innocent.
My heart skipped a few beats at the sound of his voice and I stuck my tongue out at him. Which, in hindsight was pretty silly, considering he couldn't see it. I couldn't very well sit in the bathroom all dang day making faces at the door. Although, it was pretty tempting to try. But, alas, if I was going to use him to stay alive, I needed to learn to deal with temptation. No matter how gorgeous it was. Biting my lower lip hoping pain would distract me...I reopened the door.
"Sorry about that...um...my hand slipped. You know...lotion." I shrugged, avoiding his gaze. I had no idea if my eyes were still doing the come hither glimmer, so I figured it would be best if I found my toenails to be the most fascinating thing on the planet.
"Right," he drawled out sarcastically. "Anyway...It's been a long night. I think it's best if we call it an evening and hit the hay."
"Vampires sleep?" I stuttered.
It had never occurred to me creatures of the night would need their beauty sleep. Oh my God! What if there were coffins involved? Gross! I shivered at the thought of snuggling down into a cozy pine box filled with the dirt of my homeland.
I peeked up under my lashes at Fang, who was standing with his arms crossed against his chest and was giving me one of those...be patient, she's special...kind of smiles. Condescending cave dwelled that he was, he still made me drool. I totally blame his perfectly sculpted body for my inability to focus on what was important. Which I couldn't remember at the moment because I was suddenly absorbed with his feet.
Dammit! Why couldn't he have those fungus infested, callous encrusted, crooked and hairy toes most men had? Why did they have to be pink, perfect and provoking? I was just wondering if the skin of his feet was as smooth to the touch as they appeared, when I yawned. And not one of those cutesy ones either. But, a long...drawn out, jaw cracking one which sounded like a lion roaring out a call of the wild...kind.
He chuckled softly. "I guess that answers your question of whether or not vampires sleep." He grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the bathroom. "Come on, let's get you to bed Sleeping Beauty."
"I'm not tired," I whined, dragging my feet behind him like a disgruntled toddler. I wanted to jerk my hand away, but right now...it just seemed like way too much effort. It was taking every ounce of energy I possessed just to put one foot in front of the other. My eyelids grew heavier and heavier with each step we took.
Rounding a corner, we shuffled down a long hallway. Fang entered a room at the end of it and flicked on the lights. My eyes took one look and I turned on my heel to make my escape, but he took my arm in a sure grip and gave me a little shove inside. Closing the door firmly behind us, he passed a hand over the knob and a little snick sound could be heard as it locked. Suddenly...I was wide ass awake.
Turning, I grabbed the door handle and twisted the sucker like it owed me money, but it wouldn't budge. "You open this door right now!" I hissed over my shoulder, still trying to pry it open.
"No can do, Red." He shook his head, pulling back the covers of a bed that was bigger than my house. Or...the pile of rubble which use to be my house. "That door remains closed until sundown."
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what would happen behind this closed door now that I was in his private liar. My inner slut smiled wide and did a hoochie-coochie dance in eager anticipation. Screw that! I mean...NO...no screwing of any kind. Reaching deep, I decided to bond with my inner Hulk and do what Hulk did best. Smash the sucker down!
Stepping back a half dozen steps, I charged the door at full speed and rammed my shoulder into it with the force of a Sherman Tank. The thing bowed a bit, shuddered and popped back out...sending me flying backwards on my butt. Holy Moses on a pogo stick! That hurt! My shoulder was doing the major ouchies and the door still stood...mocking me. Not to mention Fang was about to pop a hernia from laughing.
"That's a solid steel reinforced door, sweetheart. Not even you can bust it down," he snorted, doubling over and holding his stomach.
I glared at him, rubbing my sore shoulder. Great. Now he tells me. It wasn't like he led me into a torture chamber full of implements of agony. It actually was a very nice bedroom with moody blue paint on the walls, dimly lit and remarkably clean. Candles danced merrily as they flickered around the room which was rather sparsely decorated other than the bed the size of a small continent.
Part of me was relieved there were no coffins to be seen, but the other part was in defcon one over the thought of actually sleeping with him. Well...except for the slut in me. She had already thrown herself across the black satin sheets and was doing some moves which had absolutely nothing to do with yoga and everything to do with the Kama Sutra. Jumping back up on my feet, I rattled the knob as if my life depended on it.
I was so intent on trying to Chuck Norris the damn thing open, I hadn't noticed Fang's approach. A pig like squeal erupted out of my mouth when he put his hand over mine to stop my abusing of the doorknob.
"Only I can open it," he told me with a smirk.
I could have happily clawed his glowing orbs out of his head. "What? Are you so hard up for a date you've resorted to kidnapping?" I snapped, jerking my hand out of his. But not before a delightful prickle of electricity zipped up my arm making my heart start thumping with a boom box beat.
"Hardly," he scoffed. "I've had thousands of women throw themselves at me. Willingly, I might add," he bragged, arching his infuriating eyebrow. "Some of them in that very bed."
"Well...hoorah for you." I rolled my eyes with disgust. Okay...and maybe a little bit of jealousy. Not that I would ever admit it. "Since you have given the acre of bed over there a real work out playing Sodom and Gomorrah, I'm sure you'll survive sleeping with yourself just fine tonight."
"I can't have you taking off on your own."
"I wouldn't do that."
"Yes...you would."
Yeah...I totally would, but I wasn't about to admit that either. "So...you're a mind reader now?" I crossed my arms over my chest and sent him a scowl. You are an egotistical pig. I hope you go bald and get a bad case of something that oozes, I thought loudly in my head. Just in case he could actually read my mind.
He sighed and shook his head. "Don't be ridiculous. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what your plan was." Somehow, I think there was an insult hidden in that comment. He walked over to the bed of depravity and patted it gently. "Come on, beautiful. Let's get some sleep."
Being called beautiful temporarily sidetracked me and I fought the urge to preen. I mean sure...I was what most people would consider cute and, at times, I was downright adorable, but rarely did I ever get called beautiful. Okay...I've never been called beautiful and I have to admit...I liked it. It made me all warm and giggly in side.
Concentrate, Melanie!
Shaking my head, I flattened myself against the door. "If you are not my enemy as you claimed, then let me out."
He jerked his head up from fluffing the plethora of pillows. "I am not your enemy, but I am also not letting you out. Now, stop acting like a child and get in bed. It's been an," he looked at me reproachfully, "exhausting day."
"Don't you mean night?"
"Melanie, do not push me."
"Don't tempt me," I muttered under my breath.
Right now, pushing him in front of a speeding train sounded like one hell of an awesome plan. Or maybe sending him over the edge of No Chance Bridge with an anvil strapped to his glorious ass. Instantly, hundreds of Wile E. Coyote scenario's danced in my head. One ACME possibility after another...all involving the demise of Mr. Annoyingly Attractive over there.
Turning back to the door, I grabbed the knob and mumbled every Harry Potter incantation I could think of. "Alohomora, dammit!" I grumbled as a wave of exhaustion rolled over me. Leaning my head against the door, I closed my eyelids which seemed to have grown four time heavier in the last few seconds.
"You're wasting your energy, Red," he said carelessly behind me. "I've sealed it and only I can open it."
He wasn't kidding. I seriously felt like I could fall sound asleep standing up. I mean, I've been tired before, but this was a level of exhaustion unlike anything I had ever experienced. It was like I was developing narcolepsy and would soon need to start wearing a helmet. I yawned again. Maybe I could get a really cool helmet with shiny unicorn stickers and a headlamp.
"Come to bed before you fall down," he said, startling me back awake.
It wasn't what he said that surprised me, but the fact he once again had snuck up behind me and scooped me up into his arms.
"Stop ghosting everywhere," I argued, wiggling lamely.
He chuckled and I could feel the rumbling of it vibrate from his chest into me. "I didn't ghost anywhere. A herd of elephants could have walked up behind you and you wouldn't have noticed." He dropped me unceremoniously on the bed and I bounced a few times before landing in the middle of the darn thing. "Now, stay put or next time I will leave you sleeping where you are."
"I wasn't sleeping," I muttered, scrambling trying to get purchase on the silken sheets. Slippery suckers. "I am not sleeping with you," I tiredly argued. Finally managing to make it to my hands and knees, I slowly crawled towards the edge, dragging my body with me. It felt like miles away. Who the hell needs a bed this big? Seriously...was it really necessary to have a bed you needed GPS to traverse?"
"Red, you were snoring."
"I don't snore."
"Of course not. I guess it must have been a random moose passing through then," he snorted, grabbing my ankle and pulling me back across the bed just before I made it to the edge of Mount Mattress.
Not caring my nightshirt had ridden up exposing my boxer brief bottom to his glowing gaze, I once again started the long journey to the other side of the bed. At this rate, all I needed was a ring and some orks and I would have an epic tale on my hands.
"Women do not snore," I mumbled around another yawn. "It must have been Bullwinkle." I laid my head down somewhere along the way. It was just too heavy to hold up anymore. My one hand stretched out towards the brink I didn't have the energy to reach. I might have muttered something about the hazards of low flying squirrels, but I couldn't remember. My brain had turned into an incoherent jumble of mush.
"You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met," Fang said with a long drawn out frustrated sigh.
"It's a gift."
I felt my body being lifted and placed down once more. Soft covers floated over me as I sank into the comfy abyss of the mattress. A purr of satisfaction escaped my lips as I burrowed in.
A quiet chuckle reached my ears. "Goodnight, Red," Fang whispered before he brushed his lips against my forehead.
"Goodnight, Fang," I mumbled back sleepily, turning over and facing the door.
The bed dipped down as he eased himself in and for a moment, my heart seized up. My eyes snapped wide and my body tensed as I waited to see what would happen next. It was a bit like those horror films you watch where the bad guy is lurking in the house and the poor hapless victim wanders in. They know something is off and so they call out, "Is someone there?" Obviously, nobody answers. In fact...that's a pretty dumb thing to ask. It's not like the baddy is going to say "Yes, I'm in the bathroom. Would you mind making me a sandwich while you're in the kitchen?"
Fang snapped his fingers, jerking me out of my horror film reverie. I blinked in amazement as every candle in the room was instantly snuffed out. That was some serious Criss Angel voodoo right there and I have to say...I was impressed.
I laid in the dark for a while with the blankets pulled up to my chin and my body wound tighter than Joan River's facelift. Eventually, I relaxed when I heard nothing but deep even breathing coming from the other side. Closing my eyes, I snuggled in for the night or...umm...day...when a thought popped into my head.
"Fang?"
"Yes?"
"Where do vampire babies come from?"
I heard him scrub his hand across his face as he groaned. "Go to sleep, Melanie."
Do you know where vampire babies come from?? LOL
Stay tuned for the next installment of FANGED to find out. Are you curious to know what Drake looks like? Come join the fun on my Facebook page K. M. Halandras and find out!
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