Chapter 75: CHAPTER - 74

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Woh hospital se gyarah baje ghar pohnchi thin aur tab se apne kamre mein band thin. Khamosh aur veeran aankhein surkh aur mutwaram, chehra udaas tha. Ang ang mein karb tehra tha. Manzar aik hi tha aur woh aankho mein tha.

Unhone Faris ka bejaan sa haath pakra tha, uske zakhmo ko dekha tha, uski band aankho ko chhua tha. Baalo mein haath phera tha. Use larazti kapkapati awaaz mein pukara bhi tha. Woh to yeh tawaqqo kiye hue thi ke woh unse naraz hoga magar uski narazgi kuch aisi hogi iska to unhone gumaan bhi nahi kiya tha. Halaat aise ho jaayege. Zindagi aisa kar jaayegi. Saanse yun tang hongi. Dard aise bhi milega. Unka dil gham se phat raha tha, be-basi par ro raha tha. Lab dua go the. Uski zindagi ke liye sehatyabi ke liye aasaoniyo ke liye dua go the. Darwaza khol kar Haroon andar dakhil hua to unka irtikaaz khaali deewar par hi thehra raha. Hamesha ki tarah woh uth kar unke paas nahi gayi thin. Coat nahi liya tha. Kapde nahi nikale the.

Woh dosto se milne gaya tha tabhi takheer se wapsi hui thi. Dressing room se kapde badal kar bahar aaya to unki jaanib se apni kisi bhi baat ka koi jawab na paa kar ruk gaya.

“Khairiyat hai?” Barabar mein baithte, comforter lete, sake ko durust karte bilkul normal lehje mein poocha tha.

Unki bheegi hui aankhein apne shauhar ke chehre phir gayi. Taasuraat batlate the uska apne dosto ke saath acha waqt guzra tha.

Woh laa-aabali sa Haroon Shirazi ab apni zindagi mein mukammal sanjeeda tha. Business society mein ab uski ek position thi. Asar tha, naam tha, pehchaan thi. Uske baare mein articles chhapte the. Uske interviews liye jaate the. Woh apne khandani business ko mazeed wst dene wala tha. Mazeed aage badhane wala tha.

“Kya hua? Tabiyat to theek hai?”

Uski awaaz par zehan bhatka tha. Soch muntashir hui thi. Woh abhi bhi ussi ko dekh rahi thi. Haroon Shirazi apne bete ke maamlaat se guzashta nau saalo se la-ilm tha. Guzashta nau saalo se woh uski rozmarrah routine, uske masail, uski pareshaniyo aur uske aziyato se be-khabar tha. Us haadse se bhi jisne use maut ke mooh mein la khada kiya tha. Un zakhmo se bhi jo rooh se ab jism par aa gaye the. Ghaliban woh yeh soch kar mutma’in tha ke uska beta naye mahol mein adjust ho gaya hoga. Nayi zindagi ka aadat ho chuka hoga. Woh apni tarjihaat se apni aulaad ko kab ka kharij kar chuka tha, do apni zindagi mein kab ka aage badh chuka tha.

Hawala dene, zikr karne, ehsaas dilane ka na pehle koi faida tha, na ab koi faida hone wala tha. Unki har daleel budi, unka har jawaz adhoora tha. Unka har khayal naaqis, unki har wazahat masnoi thi.

Magar phir bhi Us haadse ke baad woh khamosh nahi reh sakti thin. Himmat mujmaa karte seedhi ho baithi thi.

"Aap ne ek baar mujhe kaha tha ke aap yeh sab Faris ke liye kar rahe hain." Haroon chonk kar unhein dekhne laga tha. Guzishta do saalo mein unhone ek baar bhi Faris se mutaliq usse koi baat nahi ki thi magar ab achanak woh kar rahi thi, Woh ek baar phir Faris Wajdan ko apne aur Haroon ke beech le aayi thi.

"Nau saal pehle tak aap Baba par dependent the, aapke haath mein kuch nahi tha. Lekin ab…" aansuon ka phanda halaq mein atak gaya. Unho ne surkh hontho ko tar karte hue apni awaaz ko mazboot kar liya. "Ab aapki ek haisiyat hai, naam hai, aap Shirazi Enterprise ki America branch ke CEO hain. Kamyaab hain. Pehle ki tarah na kamzor hain aur na hi be-bas. Ab toh aap..." unki awaaz se bhar ke liye bheegi.

"Aap apne bete ko qubool kar sakte hain." Haroon Shirazi par lamhe bhar ke liye sakta sa taari ho gaya tha. Aankhe muthammil si ho gayi thin. Un mein ek be-naam sa taasur tehra gaya tha. Woh taasur Jameela Shirazi ki samajh se baahir tha. Usse sambhalne mein chand lamhe lage, taasuraat badal kar be-sakhta muskara diya.

"Tum achanak kya baate le kar baith gayi ho." Halke phulke se andaaz mein kaha.

"Main aapko aapki baat yaad dila rahi hoon. Aapne kaha tha aap Faris ke liye..." unho ne kehna chaha.

"Woh sab mera maazi hai, Jameela." Haroon ne unki baat kaat di. "Main apne maazi ka ab koi bhi asar apne mustaqbil par nahi chahta." Lehja teh tha. Awaaz mazboot irado ki aakasi kar rahi thi.

Jameela saakht ho gayi thi, Faris ke zikr par Haroon hamesha khamosh aur lajawab ho jata tha. Har baat par apne baap ka hawala diya karta tha. Har situation mein apni kamzori ka izhaar karta tha. Pashemani aur dukh ankhon se nazar aate the. Ab ke jab woh mazboot tha toh uska andaaz, uske alfaaz yak-sar badal chuke the.

"Mujhe ab andaaza hota hai ke Baba ne jo kiya theek kiya." Woh sanjeedgi se keh raha tha. Jameela Daud aziyat ki gehraiyo mein utarti ja rahi thin.

"Unka faisla durust tha. Aarzoo se meri shaadi ek ghalti thi. Main mohabbat mein andha ho gaya tha. I really don't want to talk about this but let me tell you one thing I do care about my reputation now"

Jameela Daud ne gal par behte aansu saaf kiye. Chaaro shaane chit ho kar ek baar phir himmat pakdi. Ek baar phir sar uthaya. "Aapne Aarzoo se nikah kiya tha. Yeh ek jaaiz rishta tha. Aapka us se ek bacha hai. Aapne us bache ko sawaliya nishaan bana diya hai. Sirf itna qubool kar lene mein ke woh aapki aulaad hai. Usse uska jaaiz haq dilane mein kya ho jayega? Log chaar din baate karenge aur sab bhool jayenge."

"Koi kuch nahi bhoolta. Kam az kam main apni kaamyabi ki peak par aisa koi scandal afford nahi kar sakta jise log hamesha yaad rakhe"

Woh andar tak tham gayi thin.

"And I know her very well, woh iss situation ka faida uthayegi."

Jameela Daud phati phati aankho se usse dekh rahi thin. Woh aaj shaam Azam Shirazi ke mana karne ke bawajood Haroon ko Faris ke haadse ke baare mein batane wali thi. Uska beta paanch din tak agwa reh chuka hai. Usse goliyan lagi hain, uski surgery hui hai. Woh shadeed takleef mein, zindagi aur maut ke darmiyan hai. Haan, woh usse sab kuch batane wali thi.

Ta-ham ab lab sil gaye the. Awaaz gum ho gayi thi.

Haroon Shirazi ne khud ko apne baap ke rang aur faislon mein dhal liya tha. Woh waisa ho gaya tha jaisa Azam Shirazi chahte the. Woh use nahi badal sakti thin. Woh kisi ko nahi badal sakti thin. Haroon unse mukhatib tha. Unke taasuraat se kuch pareshan ho raha tha. Unhe kya hua tha, woh jaan'na chahta tha magar woh dam sadhe chup chaap nam aankho se usse dekh rahi thin. Ek baar phir usmein Faris ka baap dhoond rahi thin aur woh unhe mil nahi raha tha. Faris ka baap ab unhe kabhi mil nahi sakta tha. “Kya sab theek hai?”

Woh chup rahi. Ek lafz bhi ada na kiya. Tabiyat kharabi ka bahaana kar diya. Haqeeqat chhupane ko ab sirf bahaane hi reh gaye the. Warna aankhein jo raaz ayan karti thin, unhe samajhne ki nazar kahin kho gayi thi.

•••

Woh pichhle do hafton se ek hi jaise aur anjaan chehre dekhta aa raha tha. Kitni der hosh mein rehta tha to wohi chehre hi nazar aate the. Aisi awaaz mein jinhe woh mafhoom pehnane se qasir rehta tha. Baate woh jo samajh mein nahi aati thin. Zehn jo dhund mein lipta har khayal ko tareek sa karta rehta tha. Dard ka ehsas ek ek se uthta hua mehsoos hota tha aur phir wohi tareeki aur adam ka ehsas use chahar soo apni lapait mein le leta. Kayi baar deh band tareek kothari mein doobti ubharti saanson ke tasavvur se cheekha tha. Kayi baar usne ghabra kar aur kuch bokhla kar wujood ko harkat dene ki sa’i ki thi. Uthne ki koshish ki thi aur phir apne zakhmo se uthti dard ki teeson ko bhi saha tha. Woh mathosh ho jaya karta tha. Dehshat aur khauf se kapkapane lagta tha. Ajnabi chehre, ajnabi log, safed jagah, safed ehsas, munjamid, barf ka sa magar ab ki baar jo chehra usne dekha woh jaana pehchaana tha. Mabham, dhundla magar roshan.

Pehchaan ki manazil tay hui toh andar tak sab darham barham ho gaya. Woh dawon ke zair e asar ubharnay wala waqti sukoon aur dard ko daba naamahlool... sab be-asar ho gaya. Uska haath unke haath mein tha. Unka haath uske gaal par tha. Unka chehra aansuo se tar tha. Woh ro rahi thi. Jameela Daud ro rahi thi.

Usne ek dum se labo ko junbish dete, aankhein bechain kar kholte, apne haath ko harkat di thi. Haath bhaari tha. Jaane woh kya keh rahi thin, woh samajh nahi paa raha tha. Usne kisi qadar koshish se apna haath unki giraft se nikaalne ki koshish ki thi. Kyun ki thi, woh nahi jaanta tha.

“Chhorhe!” Woh kehna chahta tha magar keh nahi paa raha tha. Awaaz halaq mein ghat kar reh gayi thi.

“Chhorhe mujhe,” usne kaha tha. Usne ek dum se bharayi hui awaaz mein zor laga kar kaha tha.

Jameela Daud ki giraft ek dum se dheeli par gayi thi.

“Jaye!” Apna rukh doosri taraf karte, woh rote hue cheekha tha.

Woh chehra, woh usse yahan kyun nazar aaya tha?

Ab kyun nazar aaya tha?

Woh awaaz kyun sunayi de rahi thi?

Nurse ne Jameela ko wahan se hata diya tha. Unki minnat aur israar ke bawajood unhe room se bahar le gayi thi.

Unhein yahan nahi hona chahiye tha.

Unhein yahan nahi hona chahiye tha.

Woh aankhe monde roye ja raha tha. Zehn par dhund chhayi hui thi. Use dard ho raha tha. Seene mein, haazwo mein, sar ke pichle hissay aur pait ki baayi taraf dard ho raha tha."

Usne guzishta raat bhi uthne ki, yahaan se farar ki koshish ki thi. Yeh koshish woh ek baar phir kar raha tha. Apne mushkil hote hoshon ke saath, woh apne zakmon ki parwa kiye baghair phir se uthne laga tha.

Pehle Azam Shirazi the. Ab siyaahi mael hua tha. Band kothari thi aur andhera tha. Baarish ki awaaz thi aur Abdul ka chehra tha. Gaadi ke sheeshe baar baar toot rahe the. Har baar woh ghoomti hui gaadi ke andar rafta ho raha tha. Woh baar baar lahoo luhan ho raha tha. Nurse usay zabardasti pakar kar bed par lita chuki thi. Woh usay kuch keh rahi thi. Woh apne haath kheench raha tha. Woh shiddat se ro raha tha. Woh tabdeel nahi tha. Woh is haadse ke baad normal ho bhi nahi sakta tha. Inteqami jazbaat, aziyat, apno ki berukhi sehne ke baad, be-khabari mein rehne ke baad, khauf mein utarne ke baad, woh kisi taur normal nahi ho sakta tha. Woh apne doctors aur nurses ke qaabu mein nahi aa raha tha. Usse yaqeen tha ke zindagi ke jhaanse mein woh ek baar phir marne wala tha. Baar baar marne wala tha. Uska aitmaad, bharosa khatam ho chuka tha. Usey har chehra apna dushman nazar aa raha tha. Band darwaaze ke us paar uski awaaz sunti Jameela Daud munh par haath rakhe apni siskiya ko dabaaye khadi reh gayi thi.

Woh dopehar mein ghar aayi thi aur kisi taur apne hosho hawaso mein nahi lag rahi thi. Khana unhone nahi khaya tha. Kamray mein band hokar aaram karne ki koshish ki thi magar neend aankhon se koson door thi. Kitni hi der tak woh kuch beqaraari se poore ghar mein chalti rahi, bar-baraati rahi. Sar thaam kar apne aansuon ko rokne ki koshish karti rahi. Ghar ke afraad ke saamne unhe hashaash-bashaash chehre ke saath aana tha. Dawat ka intezaam dekhna tha. Nabeela Shirazi ke saath shopping par jaana tha. Aaj ke din aur aane wale mukhtalif dino ke liye mukhtalif program the. Unka dimaag maauf tha. Woh Alizey ko sun rahi thi magar koi jawab nahi de rahi thi. Shaam tak unhone saare plans cancel kar diye. Jo dawat hafta ko rakhi gayi thi, usey multawi kar diya. Family gathering ke liye mazrat kar li. Unse koi bhi kaam theek se nahi ho raha tha. Haroon unke liye kuch pareshaan ho raha tha magar unhone tabiyat kharabi ka bahaana kar diya tha. Ghar mein sirf Azam Shirazi jaante the ke unki yeh haalat kisi wajah se thi. Hairat angez taur par unhone un par koi dabao nahi daala tha. Na hi unhe hospital jaane se roka tha. Woh jaise unhein waqt de rahe the. Samajhne ka waqt, palatne ka waqt!

“Doctors keh chuke hain ke woh ab khatre se bahar hai, is par itna stress lene ki kya zaroorat hai?” woh Azam Shirazi ko dekh kar reh gayi thi magar kuch nahi kaha. Kam az kam is haadse ke baad aise rawaiye ki tawaqo nahi thi. Unhein kuch na sahi, Faris ki aziyat par insani humdardi ke nate woh zara si narmi dikha sakte the, tasalli ke chand bol, dua, behtari ki umeed, kuch toh keh sakte the.

Unke liye bas yeh hi ahem tha ke larka zinda tha. Unke liye saanson ka chalna “zindagi” thi. Unki soch, shakhsiyat, aur iradon mein koi farq nahi aaya tha. Unhe apne kisi faisle par dukh tha, na hi pashimani ho rahi thi. Jo bhi hua tha, Hamad ki ghalti aur manmaani se hua tha. Larka zinda tha. Uski saansein chal rahi thi. Sirf yeh hi ek baat zindagi ki daud mein wapas lane ke liye kaafi thi.

'Agar Faris ki jagah Hammad hota to kya woh tab bhi yeh baat kehte?' Unhone sochte hue aansu apne andar utaar liye. Be-rehmi unki thi. Dil unka kata tha. Rawaiya unka tha, takleef unhe hoti thi.

Unhone kuch na kaha. Koi behas na ki, koi sawaal na rakha, koi ehsas na jagaya. In baato ka ab koi faida na tha. Woh unse ijazat lekar seedhiyo ki jaanib barh gayi thi.

Azam Shirazi coat ki jeebo mein haath daale unhe dekhte rahe the.

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