Hafsa ka sar dukh aur sharmindagi se jhuka hua tha. Un ki aankhe gham mein doobi hui thin. Un ka chehra aansuon se tar ho raha tha. Saira khala ab bol rahi thin. Bohut aahista aur shikastagi se Maheen Abdul Kareem ka zikr ho raha tha, jis ki haqeeqat poore khandan par aiyan ho chuki thi. Ab kuch bhi chhupa nahi raha tha.
Jannat Kamal zakhmi rooh aur nidhal wujood ke saath sakit si khadi thi. Roti sukti nigahen Hafsa Kamal par jami hui thi.
Us ki be-gunahi sabit ho chuki thi. Qatal ka ilzam hat gaya tha. Kirdar ki gawahi mil gayi thi. Magar use khusi nahi hui thi, us ka dard kam nahi hua tha. Rawaiye ki aziyat khatam nahi hui thi.
Hafsa ki nazar us par pari toh apni jagah tham si gayi. Jannat ki aankho se jhalakta huzn ka samandar unhe andar tak fana kar gaya.
"Janna.." unke lab hile. Unho ne usay pukarna chaha.
Jannat ki larzti palko se aansu gaal par larkhakh gaye. Labo par kapkapi si theher gayi. Sun hote wujood ke saath us ne be-ikhtiyar deewar ka sahara liya. Is se pehle ke woh himmat kar ke us se kuch kehti, woh bhari saanson ke sath nafi mein sar hilati wapas palat gayi thi.
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Us ne sar utha kar neem tareeki mein apne aas paas har taraf dekhne ki koshish ki thi, magar usay kuch bhi nazar nahi aaya tha. Darwaza ek hi tha jo band tha, jis par musalsal dastak di ja rahi thi. Hafsa ki awaaz samato mein par rahi thi. Un ke alfaaz, un ki minnat aur lijajat bhar lehja sab samajh mein aa raha tha, magar woh uth nahi rahi thi.
Woh band darwaze se qadray door, siskio ke saath khadi thi. Us ka chehra bheega hua tha. Jin ki aas thi, jin ka intezar kiya, woh us ke liye nahi aaye the, Unhein us ki tanhai ka ehsaas kabhi nahi hua tha. Woh us ke gham ka andaza kabhi nahi laga sakay the,
"Main nahi maaf kar sakti. Mujh se koi maafi na mange. Yeh mere paas nahi hai." Woh phoot phoot kar rone lagi.
"Mere paas kisi ke liye koi maafi nahi hai." Woh hichkiyon ke saath takleef ki shiddat se cheekhi thi. Hafsa Api darwaze ke us paar khadi reh gayi thi.
Waqt beet chuka tha. Talaq ke saath ghar mein dakhil hoti Jannat Kamal ko sab ne radd kar diya tha. Us waqt us ki minnatain, us ki pukar aur aansuon ka un par koi asar nahi hua tha. Us waqt unhe us ki bebasi ko nazar andaz kar diya tha. Us waqt unhone maa ke gham mein nidhal, khud ko pathar kar liya tha.
"Jayein yahan se." Usne bed par baithte hue apne kaano par haath rakh liye thay. Aansoo gir rahe the aur dil dhadak raha tha.
Darwaze par phir se dastak hui thi. Ab ke us ne Faris ki awaaz suni thi. Aansoo saaf karte hue uth kar darwaza khol diya.
Faris usay dekh kar apni jagah ruk sa gaya. Us ki aankhe suji hui thin. Rangat zard pad rahi thi. Baal bikhre hue se lag rahe thay. Usay nahi pata tha, apne kisi rishte ki wapsi Jannat ki yeh halat kar degi.
"Tum Rayyan ko nahi laye?" Bheegi hui awaaz mein yun poocha jaise is ghar mein Hafsa Kamal na aayi ho.
Jaise us par gham ka koi pahaad na toot raha ho. Jaise woh reza reza na ho rahi ho. Chehre ke ird gird bikhari laton ko kaan ke peeche karte hue palat gayi. Lehaaf durust karte hue phailaya. Rayyan ka takiya aur us ka nanha sa mubl rakhte hue us ki jagah banayi. Ab woh dressing table ki daraz khol rahi thi. Daraz ki cheezon ko ulat pulat karte phir se tarteeb de rahi thi. Kai baar usne wardrobe slide kar ke apne kapdon ko idhar udhar kiya. Uska zehan muntashir tha. Woh apne dard se nikal nahi paa rahi thi.
"Jannat..." Faris ne use haath se pakad kar rok liya.
Us ne lab kaat kar aansuo ko zabt karte hue us ki taraf dekha.
"Kis se chhup rahi ho?" Faris ke dono haatho ki giraft us ke baazuon par theher gayi. Jannat ke andar ek dum se sannata cha gaya. Bhari hui aankho se usay dekhte hue apni jagah jamad ho gayi. Woh bhool gayi thi ke yeh Burhan Wasif ka ghar tha, na Safdar chacha ka aur na Saira khala ka. Woh bhool gayi thi ke na woh waqt thehra raha tha na haalat baqi rahe the. Ab zakhm chhupane ki zarurat nahi rahi thi. Aansoo galo par larkhakh gaye.
"Maine unki minnat ki thi. Maine kaha tha, mujhe Ammi ko dekhne dein. Maine kaha tha, mujhe...mujhe Ammi ka chehra aakhri baar dekhne dein. Unhone mujhe nikaal diya. Faris... unhone mujhe kamre se nikal diya."
Sadma liya huye cheekhti, woh manzar aankho mein ghoom raha tha. Wohi waqt... wohi dard...
"Unhone mujhe Ammi ke ghar se nikaal diya. Main kehti rahi, main ghalat larki nahi hoon, badkar nahi hoon. Main... maine kuch nahi kiya." Woh Faris Wajdan ke seene se lagi, bohot shiddat se ro rahi thi.
"Main kehti rahi. Main baar baar kehti rahi. Lekin un sab ne... unho ne mujhe chhod diya, Faris! Unhone..."
Faris ki giraft mazboot hoti gayi. Jannat Kamal rote hue bolti ja rahi thi.
"Sab ne mil kar... un sab ne mil kar..." Woh hichkiyo ki zadd mein rote sulagte ab baat nahi kar paa rahi thi. Woh gham se nidhal ek baar phir toot-ti bikharti ja rahi thi.
"Main ne kai baar socha, main mar jaati. Main khudkushi kar leti. Lekin... main ne... main ne nahi ki. Mujhe Nana ne roka tha. Lekin un sab ne, Faris! Un sab ne mil kar mujhe maar diya."
"Janna.." Faris ne ruk kar uska chehra haatho mein lete uska sar uthaya. Woh hichkiyo ke saath rote hue chand lamho ke liye chup ho gayi thi.
Woh is haalat mein nahi thi ke koi stress bardasht kar paati. Ab woh bed par baithi thi. Faris ka haath mazbooti se pakde, gehri saans lete hue ab khud ko sambhalne ki koshish kar rahi thi. Us ke zehan se na is waqt ka maazi nikal raha tha, na is pehar milne wali aziyat khatam ho sakti thi.
Pani ke chand ghoont liye, aankhe ragad kar saaf ki. Faris uske paas hi baitha hua tha. Darwaze ke us paar raahdari mein khadi Hafsa Kamal be-had khamoshi se palat gayi thi.
Shirazi Mansion ki wasee o areez khidkiyo ke us paar thitharti hui sarsarawat be-had tareek hone lagi.
Raat ke aakhri pehar, kuch iztirabi kefiyat mein uski aankh khul gayi thi. Surkh aur mutwaram aankho ke saath woh uth kar baith gayi. Apne barabar mein letay Rayyan ko dekha. Phir us par lehaaf durust karte ek nazar Faris par daalti, raahdaari mein aa gayi.
Samne hi Mrs. Shirazi ka kamra tha. Lights roshan thi. Woh tahajjud ke liye uthti thin. Mulazima ki awaaz bhi aa rahi thi. Dastak de kar andar dakhil hui toh woh nawafil ki ibtida kar chuki thin.
Zard roshni mein woh samne hi sofa par ja baithi. Aankho mein nami liye woh unhein sakoon aur tasalli se ibadat karte hue dekhti rahi. Unho ne farigh ho kar pani piya aur phir usay dekha. Wheelchair ka rukh modey kar us ke paas aagayin.
"Tabiyat kaisi hai ab?"
"Theek hoon!" Jhuke sar ke sath aahista se boli, magar Jamila Dawood jaanti thi, woh theek nahi thi.
"Itna stress le liya tumne?" Woh uske liye fikarmand hui thi. Haath tham liya. Uski aankhe phir se tar hone lagi. Aahistagi se sar uthaya.
"Agar main kisi ko maaf na kar paun toh kya main bohot buri ho jaugi? Allah ki nazar mein bhi?" Jamila Dawood ne kuch hairan ho kar usay dekha. Uske chehre par karb sa nazar aa raha tha.
"Maafi farz nahi hai, ek choice hai beta! Kar sako toh kar do. Na kar sako toh koi jabar nahi!" Unhone narami se samjhaya.
"Agar maafi yeh hai ke main sab bhula du, toh aisi maafi mere paas nahi hai." Uski awaaz had kamzor ho rahi thi.
"Mujhe abhi tak woh sab aise yaad hai jaise kal ki baat ho."
Mrs. Shirazi tarhim bhari nigahon se usay dekhte wheelchair mazeed qareeb le aayin. Darwaze ke aahista se andar dhakelte Hafsa Kamal wahin ruk gayi thi. Mulazima ne bataya tha, Jamila Dawood jaag rahi theen. Aur woh sari raat ki beqarari ke baad unse baat karne ayi theen.
"Main ne Allah se hamesha un logo se hisaab lene ka kaha jinhone mujhe takleef di, lekin behnon ka khayal na kabhi dil mein laya na zehan mein. Halanke takleef mujhe unse bhi pohanchi thi." Usne aankhein ragi.
"Pata nahi kyun, par main unse kabhi nafrat nahi kar pai. Lekin raat jab maine unhein dekha, is tarah apne samne, toh meri bardasht khatam ho gayi. Unhone toh chhod diya tha. Phir kyun aa gayi?"
Unki aankhon se dard jhalak raha tha. Awaaz kapkapa rahi thi.
"Unhein toh tab aana chahiye tha jab sab mujhe ghalat samajh kar chhod gaye the. Bhale se thappad martin, kamray mein qaid kar deti, koi haq toh jatati. Koi had toh rakhtin woh. Pure khandan ke samne sirf is liye dat jatin ke behan hoon main, toh saza bhi woh khud hi degi."
Hafsa ko laga, dil phat jaayega. Dard ki shiddat apne andar mehsoos karte, pachtawa ki zadd me surkh mutwarram aankho se apni jagah khadi reh gayi, woh usay dekh kar reh gayin. Unke liye apne qadam par khara rehna mushkil ho raha tha.
"Woh ek baar... woh ek baar meri sun letin. Aunty! Woh ek baar, main ghalat nahi thi. Phir bhi maafi mangti rahi ke shayad maaf karke mujhe na chhod dein. Meri shadi Zaman se na hone de, Aunty main..."
Jamila Dawood ne be-ikhtiyar uske gaal par naram se haath rakha. Uska chehra tar tha. Woh kapkapa rahi thi. Hafsa Kamal ki haalat bhi usse kuch mukhtalif na thi.
"Mujhe Ammi se bhi milne nahi diya." Woh ek baar phir ro rahi thi. Hatheli ki pusht se aansu saaf karte unhein dekha.
"Lekin maine kabhi bhi yeh nahi chaha unme se kisi ke sath kuch bura ho. Maine khud se kisi ko bhi baddua nahi di. Maheen ko bhi nahi. Lekin maine Allah se yeh zarur kaha ke Allah saza aur badla le. Kya aisi khwahish rakhna bhi aap ko bura bana deta hai?"
"Yeh kaisi baatein soch rahi ho, beta?"
"Kya main zalim hoon agar kisi ko maaf hi na kar paun?"
Hafsa ke aansu behne lage. Darwaze par hath rakhe woh sar jhuka gayin.
"Itne saalo ki aziyat sirf mafi se kaise khatam kar di jaye?" Woh sisak padi.
"Yeh kya soch rahi ho?" Bohat pyar aur narami se unhon ne uska haath apni god mein rakha.
"Yahi toh sab sochte hain. Zulm ke baad maafi... har haal mein maafi, sab khatam ho jaye. Ek hi lamhe mein jaise kabhi kuch hua hi na ho."
"Meri taraf dekho," unhon ne usay kaha.
"Main ne abhi tak apne shohar aur bete ke qatil ko maaf nahi kiya hai. Apne khandan ko pehle maine chhoda, phir unhon ne. Zalim ko chhutt de do, maafi de do, azad kar do. Mera dil nahi mana, maine nahi kiya."
Woh aankho mein aansu liye unhe dekh kar reh gayi.
"Mere walid ne mujh se kaha, 'Mera ek hi beta hai.' Maine kaha, 'Mera bhi ek hi tha jise maine janam diya.'" Unki awaaz bhi bheegi thi. "Apne khandan mein ab main is liye buri hoon kyunke main apne qatil bhai ko maaf nahi kar saki. Jabke yeh mera haq hai. Tum batao, kya ek maa ka yeh faisla ghalat hai?"
Jannat ka sir be-ikhtiyar nafi mein hila.
"Surah Shura ki ek ayat hai."
Tarjuma:
"Aur jo koi zulm uthane ke baad badla le, to un par koi ilzaam nahi. Ilzaam to un par hai jo logo par zulm karte hain aur mulk mein na-haq sar-kashi karte hain. Yahi hain jin ke liye dardnak azaab hai. Aur albatta jis ne sabr kiya aur maaf kar diya, beshak yeh badi himmat ka kaam hai."
(Surah Shura 41 42 43)
Woh aankho mein aansu liye, dum sadhe unhein dekh rahi thi.
"Maafi ya apne zulm ka badla â yeh do raste hain jo dikha diye gaye hain. Yeh dono hal hain jo de diye hain. Mafi ka ajar is liye azeem hai kyunke woh bohot mushkil, bohot bhari aur bohot badi baat hai. Wo har kisi ke bas ki baat nahi hai. Har koi iska bojh nahi utha sakta. Sala ki takleef par yeh keh dena ke 'mujhe tum se koi badla nahi chahiye,' yeh chhoti baat nahi hai."
"Jab aap aisa chahte hain ya sochte hain, aapka dil us waqt bhi hazar tukro mein bat jata hai. Lekin kuch log hote hain, jin mein bohot jazba hota hai. Hum jo bhi takleef sehte hain, uska humein ajar milta hai. Aur jo ghalat karta hai, zulm karta hai, uska hisab lazmi deta hai. Chahe aap baddua de ya na de.."
Rawani se baat karte unho ne ek lamhe ka tauqaf kiya.
"Jab zulm karne wala toot jaaye, jhuk jaye aur jab woh apne hisse ki saza jhelte hue apne kiye par pachtaye aur maafi mange, toh maaf kar dena chahiye. Zabardasti ki maafi, maafi nahi hoti. Jo dil se di jaye, woh hoti hai."
Apne khushk labo ko tar karte, woh unhein khamoshi se sun rahi thi.
"Main janti hoon tumhari behnon ne jo kiya, woh bohot ghalat tha. Kyunke unki khamoshi se hi doosro ko apne zulm ka mauqa mila. Unse ek ghalti hui. Aur unhein us par bohot pachtawa hai," woh bohot narami se samjha rahi theen.
Hafsa gaal saaf karte peeche hui. Jitni aziyat woh apni chhoti behen ko de chuki thi, ab aur nahi dena chahti thi. Ab kuch bhi theek nahi ho sakta tha. Na waqt palat sakta tha, na faisle badle ja sakte thay. Woh apni behen ke zehan se apna zulm nahi nikal sakti thi.
Shikast khurdagi ke aalam mein qadam uthati neeche aa gayi. Kuch der kamre mein baithi rahin. Roti rahin. Fajr ki azaan hone lagi toh wuzu kar ke namaz ada ki. Taweel sajday mein ab Allah ke samne thin.
"Maafi us gunah ki, jo behan ke haq mein kar diya tha. Kya Khaliq maaf kar dega, agar uski makhlooq maaf na kare?"
Sajde se sar uthate, aansu saaf kar ke woh mazeed apni jagah tham gayi.
Jannat darwaze mein khadi thi.
Unka dil doob gaya. Aankhein bhar aayi.
"Bohat intezar kiya hai main ne aapka."
Hafsa aankhon mein nami liye khadi reh gayi.
"Aap aayengi aur poochhengi, 'Kya hua tha, Jannat?' Main sab kuch sach sach bata doongi. Aur aap... aap yaqeen kar legi!"
Unki siskiya bandh gayin.
"Chacha ke ghar aayegi. Khala ke ghar. Islamabad jayengi. Lekin aap nahi aayi."
Woh unki Jannat woh chhoti si, masoom si Jannat. Woh jo phoolo jaisi thi aur kanto se zakhmi phir rahi thi. Kitna tod diya unho ne use. Kitna zulm kar diya us par.
"Bohat intezar kiya maine."
Uski aankhein suni hui thi, Uski rangat zard pad rahi thi. Uske baal bikhre hue the. Unhein nahi pata tha ke unki wapsi Jannat ki yeh haalat kar degi. Uska dukh itna barh jayega ke woh toot kar bikharne lagegi.
"Jaanti hoon, beta! Main jaanti hoon. Bohat ghalat kiya maine. Bohat zulm kar diya tum par."
Aahistagi se qadam uthate uski taraf badhin. Dar sa tha, ke woh phir se tum na ho jaye. Aisa na ho haath jhatak de, door kar de. Kapkapate haatho se uska chehra apne haatho mein liya. Uske aansu saaf kiye, uski peshani par bikhare balo ko peeche kiya. Phir use bheench kar khud se laga liya. Bilkul waise hi jaise woh use bachpan mein lagaya karti thi.
Kitni hi der tak khud se lagaye roti rahi.
Faris unke kamre ke bahar khada tha. Woh adh-khule darwaze se unhein dekh sakta tha, unhe sun sakta tha. Woh khud ro rahi thin, magar Jannat ko chup karwa rahi thin. Phir use saath le kar bed par baith gayi. Ab woh bol rahi thin aur woh sun rahi thi.
Woh use Nafisa ke aakhri lamhon ke baare mein bata rahi thin.
Nafisa ne uska naam liya tha. Baar baar liya tha. Woh tumhe apne ghar bulane wali thi.
Aankho mein be-yaqeeni ka tassur liye, bohot tadap aur dukh se unhein dekh rahi thi.
"Ammi ne mera naam liya tha? Woh mujh se milna chahti thi? Meri maa... woh aakhri lamhe mere naam karna chahti thi?"
Woh harat aur jazbat se labraiz thi.
"Woh heart patient thi. Agar Maheen woh harkat na karti... agar tumhari talaaq aur ilzaam se unhein sadma na pahuncha hota... agar yeh sab na hota..."
Unhon ne baat adhoori chhod di. Woh bohot karb se unhein dekh rahi thi.
"Jannat! Ammi... woh bas normal nahi thin. Unhein Husnain ki wajah se zehni sadma hua tha."
Chehra haatho mein liye aahista se boli
"Tumse nafrat nahi karti thin. Woh ek maa thin. Bas tumhe dekh nahi sakti thi. Unhein Husnain yaad aa jata tha. Woh bas bhool gayi thin ke tum bachi ho. Woh bhool gayi thin ke tum unki aulaad ho. Nafsiati tor par theek nahi thi. Woh bardasht nahi kar paayin. Unke liye yeh gham bohut bara tha."
Woh sar jhukaye hue thi. Maa ki wafat ka gham woh jaise ab baat rahi thin.
"Maaf kar do Jannat! Mujhe maaf kar do beta!"
Unka chehra, unki awaaz, unmein Nafisa ki kitni shabahat nazar aa rahi thi.
"Aapi.."
"tum theek keh rahi thin. Agar tum ghalat hoti, toh mujhe tab bhi tumhein akela nahi karna chahiye tha. Mujhe is tarah be-rahm nahi hona chahiye tha. Mera gunaah chhota nahi hai."
"Main ne aap ko kabhi bad-dua nahi di. Main ne kabhi yeh nahi chaha ke aap ka kuch bura ho."
Hafsa ki aankhe phir se nam hone lagi. Woh pursukoon hona chahti thin, magar dil phir bhi bojhil ho raha tha. Unki chhoti behan, unki hi wajah se jo halaat se guzar rahi thi, uska tasavvur kar ke woh kisi tor khud ko maaf nahi kar pa rahi thin.
"Iman bohot dukhi hai. Sharminda hai. Ammi ki wafat par jo rawaiya tha us par..."
Unho ne baat adhoori chhod di.
Jannat ne kuch nahi kaha.
Woh jaanti thi, usse waqt chahiye tha. Toot kar phir se jurna aur rishtey itni takleefo ke baad banana ek muddat le sakti thi. Ye sab ek hi lamhe mein aur ek hi dam se theek nahi ho sakta tha.
Yehi ganimat tha ke woh unke paas baithi thi. Woh unhein pyaar karne de rahi thi. Bolne de rahi thi. Unhe toh lag raha tha ke yeh aakhri mulaqat hogi aur unki behan hamesha ke liye unse raabta khatam kar legi. Jo be-hisi unho ne dikhayi thi, wohi be-hisi Jannat Kamal unhe nahi dikhayi thi.
Adh khule darwaze mein khada Faris Jannat ko dekh sakta tha. Woh ab ro nahi rahi thi, aur bol bhi nahi rahi thi. Woh bas sun rahi thi. Wo pas sun rahi thi, Chehre par dukh tha, magar tehraav bhi nazar aa raha tha. Jise usne khud ko kisi had tak sambhal liya tha.
Uski taraf se kuch tasalli kar ke woh khamoshi se palat gaya tha.
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Agli subah nashtay ki mez par raunaq hi thi. Saira Khala, Ibrahim Uncle ke hamrah woh Jannat ke samne baithi thi. Mrs. Shirazi se baat karte, nigahe un dono ki taraf hi uthti rahi thi.
Faris Wajdan ko qareeb se dekhne ka moka jaise ab mila tha. Mosib aur sanjeeda sa jawan unhein chha laga. handsome aur sober.
Rayyan ka khayal karte Jannat apne shohar ki baat uski taraf jhuk kar sun rahi thi. Woh uski plate mein kuch rakh raha tha, nafi mein sar hilate usne haath se usay roka tha, jaise ab mazeed kuch bhi khane ki talab na rahi ho.
Rangat zard thi. Aankhein sooji hui thin, lekin apne shohar ke hamrah unhone usay bohot mazboot aur mutmayin dekha.
Dil hi dil mein Allah ka shukriya ada karte unho ne kai aansu apne andar samet liye the.
Jise beghar kar diya gaya tha, usay Allah ne kitna acha ghar ataa kar diya. Naye rishtey bana diye, nayi mohabbate dikhayi. Maa jaisi saas thi, mohabbat karne wala shohar tha, aur ek mukammal si zindagi thi, tehraav sa liye hue. Sukoon se bhari hui.
Yahan tak pohanchne ke liye usay kitni mushkilat se guzarna pada tha aur kitne talkh rawaiye aur nafrato ko sehna pada tha. Woh nam aankho ke saath sar jhuka gayi.
Nashte ke baad unhon ne kuch waqt Jameela Dawood ke saath guzaara.
Bahut mehrban aur nafees khatoon thin. Har sawal ka jawab bahut tadabbur se dene wali. Jannat Saira Khala ke saath thi. Phir woh unke paas bhi baith gayi thi. Unhon ne kai baar uska haath thama, kai baar matha choom kar khud se laga liya, lekin unka dard kam nahi hota tha. Jo bojh dil par tha, woh kisi soorat utarta nazar nahi aa raha tha.
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