Chapter 151: not enough

Chaos In My MindWords: 810

I'm not fine.

I'm just not fine.

I feel so under pressure,

yet I feel nothing at all.

I look outside the window

but I don't recognize the world.

I look inside the mirror,

but I don't recognize my eyes.

They used to light up every room,

now sadness looks back at me,

my eyes look heavy,

my heart feels empty.

I have so much fire inside of me,

burning, raging,

but the world keeps pushing it down.

Still, I rise, again and again,

Only to fall, again and again.

This is all I ever wanted,

but am I ready for it?

Everyone else seems to be stronger,

everyone else seems to be faster,

While I ache to be the strongest,

just once.

And I enjoy my journey, I do

But it's not yet the way I dream it could be

Am I disciplined enough?

Do I fight hard enough?

I don’t know.

But what I do know

Is that I don’t feel fine.