Chapter 18: chapter 18

Sanyogita got comfortable in the peaceful library. She breathed a quiet sigh of relief, glad to ind herself alone . The librarian's absence was a blessing in disguise, for she could spill her heart out without being interrupted.She held her eyes closed, followed by folding her hands together and , her fingers interlocking like the strands of a soft prayer. Her voice barely breathed, yet resonated in the silence. "I know you're hearing me. I don't want any more hide-and-seek, come out, please, come out. I want to see you.”My legs rooted to the floor,  remained frozen , my heart thudding in reaction. I longed to make myself known, to emerge from the darkness and into her world.It was the my friend's frantic call broke the moment . I was torn, caught between exposure and taking the call, leaving Sanyogita's words hanging in the air like an unkept promise.Radhika's excitement was contagious as she pleaded with her best friend to accompany her to Goa. "It's Siddharth's birthday, and he badly needs me to be there. Please go with me, Sanyo . It'll be more fun . Please Sanyo say yes …please..please..please.."Sanyogita couldn't shake off the request of her friend's pleading eyes, so she consented to accompany her. Radhika skillfully took care of Sanyogita's mother with a plausible alibi, and before long they were basking in the sun-kissed beaches of Goa.When they arrived, Radhika invited Sanyogita to be part of their party, but she refused with a soft smile. "I don't feel like being the third wheel in your love nest. I'll just find something to do for myself."With that, Sanyogita left to see the town, looking for a quaint bookstore to get lost in. Wandering along the streets, she came across a touching sight. A young man was breaking bread with an old beggar and a procession of children, his generosity spreading like a hug.Sanyogita's face broke into a gentle smile as she observed the tender scene take place. She felt peace and happiness envelop her, moved by the sympathy of the stranger.While I was walking on the beach where sunbeams caressed my face, I found myself standing near Sanyogita unexpectedly, her glowing smile lighting the seashore. My heartbeat jumped as I moved towards her fast, unwilling to let the moment slip this time. I hurried on with soft sand spreading its velvet sheet below my footsteps.As I reached, I saw a few pervet boys taunting her. Their obscenities and mocking laughter burned my skin . I quickly stepped in, my commanding tone leaving them fleeing. Weh Sanyogita turned to face me, her eyes meeting mine , and we stood there staring at each other for a second. "Thank you very much," she whispered softly, her eyes shining with appreciation.I smiled, with a sense of pride and satisfaction. "It's all right," I said, my voice low and soothing.As we exchanged introductions, I felt a shiver run down my spine. "I am Sanyogita Sharma ," she said, her smile enchanting."I know, I am Raj.. Raj Desai ," I said, adopting my nickname, being careful not to tell her my real name. I did not lie to her; I simply told her my half name.Sanyogita was intrigued. "But how do you know my name?" she asked, frowning slightly. I made a quick shot in the dark, coming up with a satisfactory reason. "I met you at the college function," I replied, my lips curving into a mock smile.“Oh ,okay,How strange, even though we are in the same college, why didn't we meet before?” she asked “Maybe because we are in different years ”I remarked"Alright,"she smiled slightlyThe more we kept met , our friendship grew and flourished, stronger every day. But I couldn't bear to tell her my secret, not knowing how to share my real self with the girl who had stolen my heart.One day, I gathered my strength and asked Sanyogita to accompany me to a special event - my birthday party. I teased her jokingly, saying, "If you don't come, I'll believe that you don't regard me as a close friend." She smiled and accepted my invitation.As out path collided, we started to spend more time together . I took her to meet my close friends, and we had a great time together, which was filled with laughter and in-jokes. Then, I stepped out for a moment to take an important call from home.I went back to the group, hoping to rejoin the celebration, but instead, I was confronted with an unexpected event that would turn everything around.One of my friends, clearly inebriated, slurred his words,“Bro, I'm amazed you scored this girl! She's hotter than the scorching Goa beach sunlight! Girls patta na toh koi tujhse sikhe,pehle ladki ko bancho jhutt mutt ka natak kar ke,phir use apne jaal mein Phasaoo,Bro,bro,after you,meri bari hai, After you're done, it's my turn! She's perfect for a one-night stand, but I'll make sure to spend more nights with her!"His words oozed with crudeness, leaving Sanyogita's face red with anger. I bristled in anger and humiliation, realizing that I had to step in before matters worsened.I moved quickly to intercede, my face red with embarrassment and concern. "Sanyogita, please, all of this is a fabrication! He is drunk and has no idea what he is talking about!" I begged, in an attempt to salvage the situation.But it was already too late. Sanyogita's red-rimmed eyes, filled with unshed tears, burst with anger and pain. She spun on me, her hand flashing through the air to land a smart slap. The blow did not sting as much as the confusion that had precipitated it."How could you?" she cried, her rage shaking her voice. "How have you dared to take away my dignity? Rich folks like you are all the same! You're that same boy who attempted to harass me on the bus, you.you." She spat the words out, her voice shaking with emotion."Sanyogita, you are getting me wrong " pleaded, attempting to reason with her, but words were lost in the void. The harm had been done, and I recognized that I must somehow mend the trust that was broken.She turned around to me,her eyes were bloodshot, She slapped me so tightly on my face, that didn't hurt me but the thing which hurt me most was she misunderstood me.“Stay away from me, I don't want any explanation, but I wanted to say a few things Don't think of every silent girl as weak, if she decides to hit back, you will realise that guys cry louder than women. Maybe for you rich people girls are like the dust of your hand but how can you forget the same girl can be your sister, can be your mother but unfortunately Your mother did not give birth to a human she gives birth to you goth, you pervert,” she yelled all of them and started to come out from there.I tried to stop her, but she shook me off, her voice cold and detached. "Don't call my name, I don't want to see your face." The finality in her tone was like a slap, leaving me stunned and helpless..My frustration and anger boiled over, and I attacked the guy who had brought the turmoil. I battered him brutally, but nothings could bring down my fury burning in my chest . As teh night wore on I turned to drink in a futile bid to kill the hurt.I don't know how much I consumed, but before I knew it, I was in a state of darkness. The world around me disappeared, and I was filled with an emptiness that lasted for 24 torturous hours. When I came out of the haze, I had a throbbing head and a heart full of regret.Three weeks had lapsed since that fateful evening, and my best friend's words were still resonating in my mind. "Go to her, apologize, and make amends." I eventually mustered enough courage to take the first step towards redemption. I went to Sanyogita's residence, my heart weighed down with emotions.As I reached her house, I was impressed by its beauty. The house was lit with bright lights and flowers, spreading the atmosphere of happiness and celebration. My eyes went to the window of her room, and my heart skipped a beat. Sanyogita was standing there, looking gorgeous in a red saree, her body dressed with fine jewelry. It was evident - today was her wedding day.My world crumpled around me. The earth under my feet creaked and groaned, and my breathing almost come to a pasue but in reality it was pounding faster as I witnessedthe view in front of me . I couldn't stand it, and I turned instantly and ran. Streams of tears blinded my vision as I stumbled from the scene. I felt I was sinking in my grief, and escape was only through the pain-numbing numbness. I drank until I was lose my sense, hoping that I could somehow delete the day from my reality. When I regained my consciousness, a fresh determination smoldered inside me. I would forsake all and begin again in Australia, following my studies and business interests, as my dad had always hoped. I would leave the heartache behind and make a fresh start.The next day, I was back home, thanks to my friend's consideration. But the comfort of being with my family was not there - my dad was not home, and my grandfather's stern expression was what greeted me instead. The consequence of my actions had finally reached me.Initially, my grandfather was shocked at my sudden move, but eventually, he was glad to see me taking a step towards a fresh start. Having finished my college season, I was now free to go on a trip to Australia, away from the memories that tormented me.Remaining in the same city had become intolerable, as Sanyogita's presence was felt in every nook and corner. I attempted to immerse myself in work, loading each waking hour with distractions, but the nights were another matter. Left to my own devices, I could not shake the memories of her smile, her tears, and that first sighting of her on the road, followed by the temple. The pain of her absence was always there, reminding me of something that could never be.I wished I could hate her, accuse her of causing the hurt, but I could not. In my heart, I knew that it was not her responsibility. My errors, my aspirations, my emotions, my love, and my suffering belonged to me. I had to accept the reality - I was the creator of my own suffering.Even in dreams, Sanyogita was there, a poignant reminder of something that would never be mine . I woke up to the reverberations of my own cries, the stillness of my empty room a contrast to the tumult within. The bottle was my comfort, a temporary refuge from the anguish.I left the party scene, unable to pretend to be interested in the lively world around me. The idea of relating to others, particularly women, seemed like a betrayal. Dharam's words echoed within me: "I couldn't have the one I loved, even with the whole world at my feet."(" Meine jise Pyaar kiya use hi nahi pasaka, puri Duniya milgayeii bas ek wohi hi nahi mili")Sanyogita's hands shook while she shut the diary, and tears flowed like a river of remorse down her cheeks. She carefully removed the sketch of herself from the torn page, looking at the ceiling as if for guidance. Her swolled the lump in her throat, a bitter-sweet reminder as she approached Prithvi , he was still laying unconscious on his bed.With a mixture of grief and nostalgia, she sat on the floor nearby him, tears kept falling like raindrops on his quilt. "Tum mere itne kareeb the, aur mein tumhe pechan bhi nahi paye" (You were so close to me, yet I couldn't even identify you), she spoke softly, her voice shaking with emotion.Her fingers stroked his head in pity and kindness, as though attempting to calm the agony of the past. Her cries rang out within the room, a gut-wrenching lament for what might have been. She wanted to embrace him closely, to kiss his forehead, but she stopped herself, afraid to breach the fences of their twisted history.Instead, she pressed his hand against her cheek, holding onto it, and let out an anguished wail. The heat of his skin, the comfort of his touch, it all flooded back memories of their secret lover story. Flashback:-"Sir, how did you know I love pani puri from this vendor?" Sanyogita asked, her confusion evident on her face.Prithvi smiled mischievously. "Just a hunch."Sanyogita's eyes narrowed playfully. "Sir, how did you know I love animals?"Prithvi's face became reflective. "Perhaps it's because they're innocent, and I thought you'd value that innocence as well."He spoke while offering her a small gift box. "Happy birthday, Sanyogita."Her eyes widened in surprise, and she opened the box to find a lovely silver pendant in the form of a bird. "It's lovely!" she said.Prithvi's smile wavered for a second, and he turned his head away, his voice a mere whisper. "I thought you'd like it."The next morning, Prithvi woke up with a heaviness in his head . He couldn't recall anything about last night after his drinking. All that remained was very much hurt by Her words. The manager had come and asked about his health. The manager told him that madam [Sanyogita] was very much tensed about him, the whole night she had taken care of him. He wanted to stay here about Sanyogita and told him she could manage to take care of Prithvi.Prithvi was somewhat surprised. Besides, he was also delighted from his heart. He asked for Sanyogita, so he moved in her direction. Prithvi did not find her in her room which was surprisingly open. He was searching for her left and right but could not see her. He went out of the hotel and began to search for her on the streets.