I paced back and forth in my room, my mind swirling with thoughts I couldnât shake. Why does he look at me like that?
Earlier today, in the Lunaâs office, when I was discussing the perfume, he had that same look in his eyes.
Trajan⦠What is it about him that sets him apart from every other man Iâve encountered?
I sighed and sank onto my bed, my gaze drifting to the mirror. My reflection stared backâa woman in her late forties, wearing a short, strappy nightdress that clung to her figure. Despite my age, I still looked as though two decades hadnât touched me.
The beautiful Joclyn. The woman cursed by her own beauty. Every man who looked at me wanted me for one thing, and I hated it.
From a young age, men had seen me as nothing more than a tool for their pleasure. Iâd escaped countless attempts at molestation, each incident solidifying my distrust and disdain for them. When I was offered the chance to become an Elder at just twentyâtwo, I accepted it eagerly..
Being an Elder meant freedomâno man could disrespect me, and while they might lust after me, none dared approach. Elders
Chapter 334
were required to remain unmarried, childless, and wholly dedicated to the pack. It was a life of solitude, but it was safe.
I ran my fingers through my silverâblonde hair, which shimmered in the dim light of my room. How could I, a sheâwolf who had never known the touch of a man, now find myself yearning?
Yearning for a man ten years younger than me.
I swallowed hard, running a hand over my neck as I threw my head back. Trajan. The way he looks at meâdifferent, not like those who saw me as an object. There was something deeper in his gaze.
âGet a grip, Joclyn,â I growled at myself, collapsing onto the bed. My knees bent, and my hands traveled over my thighs, my mind betraying me with thoughts I tried to suppress.
Trajanâ¦
I squeezed my eyes shut, clenching the sheets as my thoughts spiraled. The urge to close the distance between us, to feel his touch, was unbearable.
Knock, knock.
My eyes flew open, my body freezing in place. Who could that be at this hour? It was past seven in the evening.
I quickly adjusted my dress, pulling it down, though its transparency left little to the imagination. My room was dimly
lit, and I assumed it was one of the maids bringing dinner.
Sitting at my vanity, I began tying my hair back into a ponytail. âCome in,â I called.
The door creaked open, and through the mirror, I saw a figure enter with a tray in hand.
âJust leave it on the table,â I said absentmindedly, humming softly to myself.
A moment later, I stood to turn aroundâand bumped into a solid chest. I stumbled back in shock, but strong hands caught me before I could fall.
I gasped, my eyes shutting instinctively as my heart raced.
âJoclyn?â
My breath hitched at the sound of his voice. Slowly, I opened my eyes, and as the moonlight filtered through the window, I saw him.
âTra⦠Trajan?â I whispered, staring up at him. My hands had instinctively wrapped around his neck, and his arms were firmly around my waist, steadying me.
His gaze traveled down my body, and I followed his eyes. My dress had ridden up, revealing far more than Iâd intended. My cheeks burned as his eyes lingered, his jaw tightening.
Trajanâs gaze snapped back to mine, and guilt flashed across his
face. He released me immediately, stepping back as if heâd committed a grave sin.
âIâm so⦠so sorry,â he stammered, his words tumbling out as he turned away.
I sank onto the bed, still stunned, unable to process what had just happened.
He glanced back at me, hesitated, and then approached again. My dress had bunched up, exposing my legs. With a nervous expression, he gently pulled it down, covering me up.
âIâll leave now,â he muttered, turning toward the door.
âTrajan,â I called, finding my voice. âDonât leave.â
He paused, his shoulders stiffening. Turning back to me, hist eyes met mine, though they briefly dipped to my dress before he shook his head.
âWhy have you come?â I asked softly, stepping closer to him.
He hesitated, then picked up something he had placed on the table. As he handed it to me, I realized it wasnât a trayâit was a portrait.
I gasped, holding it up to the moonlight. It was a beautifully drawn image of me picking flowers in the garden, every detail captured with care.
âDid you make this?â I asked in awe.
Trajan didnât respond. Instead, he walked further into my room, stopping near the wardrobe where my robe hung. Taking it, he returned to me and draped it over my shoulders.
âYou should wear this,â he said, his voice low. âI canât⦠I canât concentrate with you dressed like that.â
I stared at him, stunned by his thoughtfulness. I donât want you to concentrate, Trajan. I want you to lose control.
Shaking off the intrusive thought, I chastised myself silently. Get a grip, Joclyn. This is not who you are.
Trajan helped me into the robe, buttoning it carefully before stepping back.
âI made the portrait for you,â he said finally. âI planned to leave it at the door like I usually do, but⦠you asked me to come in.â
I swallowed hard, guilt washing over me. I had mistaken him for
a servant.
âThank you, Trajan,â I said quietly, clutching the portrait to my chest.
He nodded, his expression unreadable. For a moment, he seemed to debate something, but then he stepped back toward the door.
âGoodnight, Joclyn,â he said, his voice soft yet firm.
I stood frozen as he left, the door clicking shut behind him. My gaze drifted back to the portrait in my hands, my heart pounding in my chest.
Trajan⦠why do you make me feel this way?