I look back on that time and reexamine my feelings.
What was I thinking, what did I want to do?
And I came up with an answer.
âI think I hated itâ
âWhat did you not like?â
When I was getting ready to move in after pulling my belongings out of Himekawaâs house and carrying them here, I met Imai-san and he said, âFrom now on, Iâll be taking care of Himekawa-sanâ and it made me irrationally frustratedâ
âWhat does that mean?â
âPerhaps I thought that Imai-san had taken Himekawaâ
âMe, by Imai-san?â
âYes. Everything Iâve done has gone to waste, and Imai-san will take care of everything else. He does everything I canât do. In a sure way and without any problemsâ
âDid you really think of that?â
âI donât really understand it myself. I just felt like Imai-san told me that I shouldnât be there, that I was out of place, that I was useless. I felt that Himekawa also thought that I was not needed because the rest was left to Imai-san. Thatâs why I wanted to disappear right away from that placeâ¦. I think I wanted to be alone.â
For a while, only the ticking of the clock could be heard, and time passed without Himekawa and I speaking a single word.
Maybe itâs not a lie. Iâm not sure Iâve got it all figured out, but I think itâs true.
Himekawa will probably think Iâm a jerk. But I donât want to lie.
If this relationship breaks up, itâs my own fault.
Am I willing to be in the situation Iâm in now? A new question has arisen in my mind.
âTendo-kun, I admire you. You think about the future and take care of yourself. Moreover, you can cook.â
Himekawa stares at me and talks to me.
âYou know things I donât know, and you can do many things I canât do. Youâre a little blunt and unfriendly, and you are always alone at school listening to musicâ
Himekawaâs words donât stop. She opens her mouth while looking straight at me.
âBut you are a kind person. You called out to me and helped me. And now youâre eating dinner with me like this. Youâre letting me experience many things I never knew before. If I had stayed with my father, I think I would have stayed that way. I want to grow up, do more, and experience more things.
âHimekawaâ¦â
âTendo-kun, you are the person I need. Even Imai-san needs Tendo-kun. So please donât say such sad things. And please donât think that you can do it alone. There are many things you can do together that you cannot do aloneâ
Himekawa gets up from her chair and reaches for my cheek.
What is it? Whatâs she going to do to me? Is she going to give me a slap or something?
I waited for her hand to touch my cheek with my heart pounding.
Then, Himekawaâs hand touches my cheek a little and immediately moves away.
âLook, a grain of rice. If you were alone, you wouldnât notice it, would you?â
âIndeed, if I were alone, I wouldnât notice it.â
We both chuckled a little and proceeded to eat.
Was I thinking too much? Or was it that I couldnât even think?
Iâm sure Iâm still just a kid, just acting like an adult.
Himekawa is much more mature than me.
We talked a little about each other and finished dinner.
Tomorrow morning, I would prepare breakfast with Himekawaâs stir-fried shredded vegetables as the main dish.
I couldnât have done this menu if I was alone. This menu was made possible by Himekawaâs presence.
We finish dinner, take turns taking a bath, and prepare for tomorrow.
Day by day, the maximum mental capacity improves. It is a very wonderful thing.
Thanks to this, I can take a relaxing bath and be healed.
Then, right before I go to bed, my phone starts ringing.
âYes, this is Tsukasaâ
{Tsukasa, regarding yesterdayâs matter, I will be heading over there tomorrow with Imai-san. I think it will be in the evening, so please stay at home with Himekawa-san}
He told me what he wanted to talk about and quickly hung up the phone.
As usual, he was short on time. I told Himekawa about tomorrowâs meeting at the messenger and snuggled into the futon, and suddenly thought about it.
Itâs been a while since Iâve seen my father. I havenât done anything to make him angry, have I?
Thinking about that, I left for the dream world.
TLN: Double release to make up for yesterday.