Nicholas was thoughtful as he dressed himself while Sophia disappeared behind her dressing screen.
Buttoning his shirt, he studied her silhouette with a slight frown.
He was certain that she was not a virgin when he took her, but her reaction had surprised him.
"Why did you freeze?" he heard himself ask without thinking. He silently cursed himself for it.
To his surprise, she did not react to his question in a violent manner. "Whatever do you mean, my lord?" she softly asked, her silhouette freezing in the act of dressing.
"Earlier, you froze."
A short silence followed and Nicholas thought that perhaps it was at that point where she would fold her dressing screen and haul it across the room with intent to murder.
But she did not do that either. "I was... I never enjoyed sexual encounters before."
She said it so casually that Nicholas' jaw dropped as he gaped at her silhouette with surprise. "Even with Durley?" he could not help but ask.
She chuckled but instead of answering she uttered, "As I have said, my lord, I reserve the right not to talk about other men or how I interact or serve them."
His jaw tightened. He stood up and approached the dressing screen and discovered that she was buttoning her dress with ease. "Sophie, have you been abused?"
This time he saw the anger flash across her features before she shrugged. "It is not of your concern, my lord."
"Did it happen in the brothelâ"
"The brothels have many secrets. Not one of them is worthy of recollection," she snapped, stiffly turning to walk back to the chaise. "I would appreciate it if you do not resort to talking about the past. Yours may be marvelous, mine is highly unmentionable."
If her past lovers treated with naught but roughness to a point that she had developed an innate defensive reaction during the act, then why did she allow him to make love to her tonight?
Was it because she wanted to? Or was it because it had become easier for her?
"Then do answer one question for me," he said, walking over to the winged chair.
"So long as it is not about other men, what is your question?"
"How much can you truly see?"
She smiled. "You are curious, are you not?"
"Very."
She shrugged, absently playing with her long curly hair. "I merely see light and shadows. I cannot see anything with a mere small amount of light. It has to be very bright."
Ah, so that explained why she did not discover his cheating when he turned on the bedside lamp. His eyes narrowed at her as she gazed at him as though she could truly see him. "What do you see when you look at my face?"
Her white teeth glowed in contrast to her skin as when she smiled. It was the first she saw her smile that way and his breath was trapped in his lungs. "Shadows," she uttered with a chuckle.
Nicholas scoffed, shaking his head. "A pity then for I promise you, darling, I am beautiful."
She laughed and it was impeccably sweet that Nicholas had the urge to come up with a rather witty remark to hear it again.
"And I suppose that you have never seen your face either?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Then you are even more so unlucky, Sophie, because you are beautiful."
"I believe you," she said, squaring her shoulders with pride. He was not certain if she was mocking him or not.
"You truly are, Sophie. You are beautiful. You do not have to think that just because you are a woman of color that you are beneath a fair woman's beauty. You truly are beautiful."
"Calm down. You need not explain for I do believe you," she laughingly uttered. "I am partially blind, my lord. I only see shadows and light. In my eyes, everyone has none but one color."
"Can I ask how you are in this condition?"
"No, because it entails that I will have to talk about my past and I have made it clear that I don't like talking about it."
He sighed. "Very well, then why do you not mingle with the other ladies in Rock'oles? Or do you? Privately?"
With a shake of her head, she uttered, "They have not seen me nor have I seen them. I do not wish to bother myself with prejudices, my lord. I am rather fond being alone."
"You speak like my sister."
"Which one?"
"The youngest, Emma. She does claim to be fond of being alone as well."
"Then she must be very wise," she uttered, standing to her feet. "I believe it is time you leave, my lord."
Nicholas gaped at her for the second time. "I am barely dressed, Sophie. Perhaps you can ring for tea?"
She turned to him and although he now knew the scope of her sight, he still felt unnerved whenever her gaze landed on him. He had always reveled on the attention women gave him, yet it seemed that with this woman he felt uncomfortable, even more so now that he knew she could not clearly see him but still pretended that she could.
There was so much in her he needed to know, so much to discover.
He heard a warning in his head, one that told him to not bother. For why would he? He did not truly intend to rescue her from here. Good God, he would be a laughingstock amongst his friends if he as much as take a woman from Rock'oles and place her under his care. And to know that he would be taking with him a woman of color would even be far worse.
"You have gotten what you wanted in this visit, my lord," was her impassionate reply.
The words echoed in his mind, igniting a surge of anger within him. But he fought to control it as it would not do him good to even correct her. Yes, he was able to get what he wanted from this visit. He was able to read the letter and he now had something relevant to share to his brother.
And he was able to satisfy his personal needs.
Of course, he acquired more than he intended and that ought to be enough.
But it seemed that it wasn't.
There was something in this particular chamber, in this particular woman that Nicholas wanted to stay longer because he knew this was not for long. Once the Town Guards had enough to execute their plans, he would have to betray this woman and leave her here. Mayhap the Guards would be lenient and consider her help in the case, but she would have to also pay the price for her role in the slave trade.
And then he would continue to live his life as he always had. There would be more luxurious brothels like Rock'oles. And there would surely be more gorgeous women to satisfy him.
With that thought in mind, Nicholas stood and grabbed his coat. Along the way, he picked up the cravat and tucked it in his coat pocket.
"Good day, my lord," Sophia uttered with a formal smile as he approached.
"Call me Nick, Sophie," he said before planting a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Call me Nick."
She merely smiled in answer and opened the door for him.
*****
Sophia woke up in cold sweats again later that night.
But the dream was slightly different from the others.
It was Nicholas Everard, making love to her, caressing her in the gentle way he did earlier that day.
She did not want to wake up. She wanted to live in that dream forever and just feel everything he was making her feel.
But something changed. He bent his head to kiss her breast. His hands tightened on her hips in a crushing hold.
She tried to buck away as his pounding became rougher as his hold tightened even further, pushing her against the mattress, trapping her with his weight and brutal attack.
She groaned, demanding to be released, but he was not listening.
He continued to feast on her breast but this time it was as if he meant to punish her until she cried out in pain. She tried to push him away but she realized her hands were tied above her head.
She screamed in terror and finally Nicholas looked up.
But he was no longer Nicholas.
His face had morphed into one of the men who paid her uncle for a time with her. He had become like the men with their foul smell and broken teeth, eyes alight like the devil's.
And he was laughing and then he was grunting with release while she stared at him, eyes wide with horror, tears streaming down her face.
Sophia shot up in bed with a scream, breathing heavily, her heart pounding against her chest.
Aabha whined beside her and started to lick her chin. With shaky hands, she petted the dog.
The dreams would never go away, she thought.
They would not even allow her to have new ones.
*****
"How is the seduction going?" Ralph asked, pointing his riffle to the right.
Nicholas quietly followed his brother's movement, focused on following the movement of the hare. "Bloody bad."
"How so?"
"I told her the truth with the intent to use her and I do not see why we still call it spying."
Ralph rose to his elbows and glared at him. "It is spying when you lie. You gave her false promises, Nick. You promised her an impossible freedom." He dropped back on the ground. "That is still considered spying. We call it double spying if you should know. It is easier that way, see?"
The hare finally jumped out of the bush and Ralph fired the shot before Nicholas could. He sighed and cursed under his breath.
"Taking a fancy on the woman?" Levi asked from behind them. He glared at his brother over his shoulder as he straightened to full height while Ralph went off to gather his kill.
"I did not join you here in Standbury to bother with your mocking, gentlemen," he addressed both men. "I was given the impression that I will be spending a jolly time hunting in your very quaint forest, Levi, not talk about women."
His brother chuckled as he too, picked up two hares from the ground. "Well, if you say so. Come on then, Tori and Lindsay are waiting for our return."
Ralph ran after them and fell into pace with Nicholas with a mocking grin.
Nicholas glared at Ralph. "I admit the woman is beautiful and that she is differentâ"
"âAnd we agree that we are not implying anything," Levi said with a chuckle.
"âBut she is a woman like the others. She is replaceable," he continued, ignoring his brother's remark.
Ralph shot him a suspicious look before saying, "Then bloody make her believe you are the irreplaceable one to a point that she shall do anything you ask of her. One letter does not prove your success, brother."
Nicholas' jaw tightened. "I am currently working on that, believe me."
"Do not fall in love with the woman, Nick," Levi said, his tone serious. "We do not want to have anything to do with anyone connected to Osegod. God knows what Margaret will do this time."
He fell silent, reminded of Aurora and what Margaret did to her.
And then he thought of Sophia.
Sophia was beautiful. And she was a giving lover and he knew she could be better if he simply knew how to keep her calm and forget the other men before him. But he cannot fall in love with her.
Not when greater things were at stake.
*****
Sophia watched Nicholas undress while she waited in the middle of the bed, all the while calming herself.
She did not know why she felt tears coming. Mayhap because she knew she would allow herself to be vulnerable in his arms again and she wanted it.
For years, her body and mind had been naught but cautious. She had worked with men who came to her out of selfish reasons. And although the wall she had built around her was too strong for even a man like Nicholas Everard to ever break, Sophia felt uncomfortable that with him she could willingly allow herself to climb over that wall and be plain helpless.
Was this what they called seduction?
Was she falling victim to it?
Was this why men who had mindlessly taken her in the past did what they did? Did they also find the need to feed their lust as means to sanity?
It had nearly been a week since his last visit. She waited and wondered when he would return for they had not agreed on it the last time. The moment she was informed of his presence in Rock'oles, she called for him immediately.
And when he entered the room, it seemed that he had merely one thing in mind and that was to take her to bed.
He attacked her savagely against the door, stripping her of her dress and gave her a taste of pleasure with naught but his hands and mouth. Sophia found it unbelievable still that a man was willing to prolong the process when he could easily be done with it without care if she was pleasured in return.
She had a wistful smile on her lips, one she immediately tried to hide as his form turned toward her.
Her heart began to pound when he approached the bed.
"I need to have a letter from Osegod," he said as he joined her and covered her body with his.
Sophia let out a satisfied sigh when his hands began to roam over her, softly caressing and arousing her entire being, rekindling the fire he started earlier. "Well, hello, there, my lord," she teased, raking her fingers through his hair. "I was afraid you were not interested with letters."
"Of course, I am," he said, his lips smiling against her skin. "But I have missed you, see? I missed you when I was hunting with my brothers, I missed you while I was in the carriage, in my estate and even now."
"You flatter me so. Truly, you ought not. Not because I think I do not deserve it, of course, because I do, but because I simply find it a bother. I do not know how to respond."
"Simple. You tell me you missed me too."
"My lordâ"
"Nick."
She swallowed when his hand slipped between her legs. "Nick," she tried, smiling at the sound of his name in her voice, "He never comes."
"Are we talking about another lover?" he asked, voice filled with jesting mirth.
She was confused at first but when she realized what he meant, she gave his arm a slap. "I meant Osegod, you libertine!"
"And you consider yourself prude?"
She gasped as he teased her with his hand.
"He relays his messages through Lord Cigar."
"Baldwin?" he asked against her throat.
She nodded. "And I have not yet had a visit from him. Perhaps inâ"
"Sophie," he interjected, settling between her legs and circling an arm around her while the other brushed her hair off her forehead. He nuzzled his nose beside hers and his lips lightly touched hers as he continued, "Would you like to go out for a while?"
His question gave Sophia pause, lost at the sudden change of subject. "Go out?"
"Yes, sweet," he whispered, slowing entering her. Sophia let out a soft gasp with pleasure, reveling at the fact that her body did not freeze, nor had it had any desire to push him away. "Go out for a while. Out of this chamber."
"Nick," she whispered almost in pain as he tortured her with slow deliberate strokes. "Please..."
"Wickhurst enjoys humongous woods," he continued, his hand caressing her breast, her midriff, her back, her hips. "We will not be seen. You will not be seen. And I shall return you here before they find out."
Sophia swallowed, already whimpering with pleasure.
"Do you not trust me? Do you not trust that I will take you back?"
No, her mind answered. But she knew he would take her back. He did not get enough information from her. He needed more letters.
"Yes," she answered, panting with anticipation at what he was doing and what she wanted to do.
"Yes you trust me," he asked, keeping still inside her. "Or yes we shall go to the woods?"
Sophia slipped her hand down to the small of his back. "Both."