"License, please."
Travis reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. I froze.
We were currently in a hotel lobby in Lake Grove. After a heavy make out session on the ground near the lake, Travis suggested we go to a hotel to spend the night instead of driving all the way back home.
I was in too much of a haze, wrapped up in the feel of his lips to do anything other than nod.
And then he smiled a boyish grin and I would've followed him anywhere.
But now my senses had returned to me as we stood in front of the receptionist, a duffle bag over one of Travis' shoulders as he pulled out his ID.
I grabbed the back of his shirt, fearful that as soon as he handed it over to him, cops would swarm us.
I knew it didn't work like that. I knew that the chances of this woman knowing there was a warrant out were practically non-existent. And I knew that we were in a different town and the chances the cops were even looking for things here were also slim. And even if they were, it would take more than a millisecond for them to get all the way out here from Melkin but as she grabbed the license from his hand to enter his information, my grip on his shirt tightened, not willing to let him go.
She was typing the information and it seemed to stretch on forever. I could hear her long nails clacking on the keyboard, echoing in my head. I should have given her my information but Travis had started speaking to the receptionist before I even had the chance.
"Alrighty, Mr. Harrison. Two keys for room 211. Check out is at three p.m. If you can just sign this receipt..."
I let go of his shirt as Travis signed and slipped his ID back in his wallet.
"Thanks," he said to the clerk as he grabbed the keys and pulled me down the hall.
My gaze stuck to him as he pressed the elevator door. He didn't look at me, he just glanced around at the rest of the lobby, to the elevator light, and then back to the lobby.
The ding of the elevator filled the silence.
As soon as we stepped on and the doors closed I turned to him.
"You have a fake ID?" I whispered harshly.
Travis shrugged.
"You could have told me that, I nearly had a heart attack at the counter."
To this, he only rolled his eyes. "There wasn't time."
The doors opened on the second floor and I followed him out. There was plenty of time in the car ride over here to let me know but I kept my mouth shut.
"What's in the bag?" I asked instead.
Travis phone was vibrating in his pocket, the noise barely audible but the hallway was quiet. It rang a few times on the way over here but he ignored it.
"Clothes."
"For us? You packed?" I asked, distinctly remembering he said he had no plan for what we were going to do earlier but this definitely looked like he did.
He opened the door to the room. "Yeah," he started as he walked over to the bed and dropped the duffle bag onto it. "When you were in the shower. Annabeth helped because I don't know what you wear but good god, you take a long ass shower. What do you even do in there?"
Offended because it wasn't even a long shower, I ignored him and unzipped the bag. It had a bunch of random clothes and makeup thrown into it, along with his stuff.
"Or don't answer," Travis said. "I'm perfectly fine letting my imagination run wild. Are you busy thinking of me in there?" he asked and wiggled his eyebrows.
"Thinking of how stupid you are," I answered.
Travis let out a single, short laugh. "That would take much longer."
"Why didn't you tell me you wanted to come here? I could've helped pack," I offered.
He didn't answer but took a few steps to close the distance between us. His hands were cold as he lightly cupped my face in them, it took me back to the cold night outside, laying out by the lake. His lips pressed against mine and it was all I could think about.
My hands went to his chest and I stood on my toes, trying to get closer to him. His own hands pressed harder on my cheeks, like he didn't want me to disappear.
As soon as I slipped my hands under his shirt and made contact with his skin, he let out a small moan. At the same time, he leaned forward slightly like he was melting into my me. I pushed against his chest to support him but I doubted he would actually fall. If anything, I liked the pressure.
I backed up a few steps and he came with me until my leg hit the hotel bed.
He made another noise in the back of his throat as we kissed but this time, it sounded like a groan and then his lips were gone and he was looking at me with frustration.
"Don't move," he said. "Stay right here, two seconds."
He let go of my face, wiggled my hands out of his shirt, and half jogged over to the bathroom where he shut the door behind him. My cheeks tingled as they tried to warm up without his fingertips pressed against them.
I blew out a breath and ran a hand through my hair. In the pocket of my jacket, my phone started ringing. It rang once while we were at the lake, causing us to stop making out. Travis told me to ignore it and that was when he suggested we go to the hotel.
Curious, I pulled it out of my pocket to see Ben was calling. Without hesitating, I swiped to answer it. He was supposed to be checking out my old phone for any contact with Josh. If Josh had managed to blow the whole thing up, I didn't want to ignore that call.
"Hello?"
"Where the heck have you been?" Ben snapped. Hello to you, too.
"Uh, the lake?" I answered, not sure if there was more than one lake.
"We've been calling you like crazy. Is Travis okay? Is he dead?" Ben rushed out.
"No...Why?"
Ben let out a sigh like he was relieved. "You aren't allowed to ignore my calls."
At first, I'd thought he was just being dramatic and joking around about Travis being dead but I realized he was probably being serious. Ben was the one who'd told me about Travis having multiple near-death experiences, after all.
He didn't give me a chance to answer or apologize before he started talking again, "When are you coming home?"
"We're staying at a hotel."
"I thought you guys were going to help with Elle. We're working out plans and it would be a lot easier if you two were actually here..."
"What-" I began but then stopped when Travis came out of the bathroom, wiping his freshly washed hands dry on his pant legs instead of a towel.
He studied me for a second. "Who are you talking to?"
"Is that Travis?" Ben said eagerly in my ear.
Suddenly, Travis previously ignoring all of the phone calls was flashing like a red light in the room.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, not answering him.
Travis came over to me quickly and before I realized what he was doing, he'd hit the bottom of my phone, causing it to pop out of my hand where he caught it.
"What?" he snapped into the phone at Ben.
I glared at him as he walked to the other side of the room with his back to me.
"If I'm fucking Lacey, you can bet I'm gonna ignore you," he said and paused. "You don't know that I wasn't."
I tried to grab my phone back but he just used his free arm to push me away and kept me at a distance.
"No," he argued to Ben. "I told Annabeth...I don't know...No, we're not."
He ended the call and tossed my phone over to the bed, where it bounced lightly.
"What are we doing here, Travis?" I asked again, slowly.
He took a few steps towards me with a smile suddenly planted back on his face. "We're enjoying a night out away from everyone," he said.
I stepped back before he could get too close. He'd had a bag packed for me and Ben, who knew practically everything about Travis, didn't know where he had gone off to. Ben was expecting us back by now.
"Ben said they're going to get Elle," I stated.
He just stared at me.
"They're going to get my friend. I should help them out," I said.
"She's not your friend, she tried to arrest you."
I clenched my jaw because there was a fair chance he was right but I didn't know what Elle was doing when I was running from them. I didn't exactly have a chance to stop and take inventory.
"Still. If a bunch of random people show up, she's probably going to freak out more than she already has. A familiar face would probably do her some good right about now," I said.
Travis grimaced like my words were poison.
When he didn't say anything, I continued, "You even said helping her was so other cops wouldn't come down and investigate. If anything goes wrong, it'll make leaving Melkin harder."
"Drop it, Lacey," he said and clenched his jaw.
I looked over at the duffle bag on the bed. "Why are we here?"
He didn't answer at first. I'd had time to pocket my phone, a hotel key, and look through the bag again which had a few day's worth of clothes in it.
"I didn't want you involved," Travis said.
My head snapped up to him. "You didn't want me involved? Because it's not like you didn't have me go into the Melkin Police Station today or anything."
"That's different," he argued flippantly. "No one's going to do anything to you in there."
"Are you serious? Is this why we're here on a date? Because you didn't want me involved?"
He looked down at the ground for a second like he was debating his answer and it'd better be a good one.
"It wasn't the entire reason. I did want to take you on a date. It was convenient timing," he confessed.
I wanted to scream at him as the entire night went into question in my head.
"I want to go back to Melkin," I said.
Travis narrowed his eyes at me, "No."
"Why not?" My voice came out strained as I tried to keep my anger at him in check.
"It's not safe."
Once again, I was getting babysat and practically on house arrest again only this time it was the entire city of Melkin that I wasn't allowed to go in.
"I can make my own decisions! You told me you were going to start telling me things," I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air to try to gesture at this situation that he told me zero percent about.
"I didn't want to tell you this," he stated as casually as one would state the weather.
I pulled up the edge of my shirt to show him the tattoo, "I'm a part of the Casey gang. Me. This doesn't say 'if approved by Travis' anywhere on it," I pointed to the Casey mark.
Travis' eyes flitted to my skin for a moment before scoffing, "It should."
"Why are you being like this?" I yelled because I thought he knew how much I hated being told what to do or what I couldn't do. Or being babysat. Or stuck.
"We're already here, I already paid for the room, let's just make the most of it," he offered.
I took another step back.
"Did you mean what you said earlier at the lake?" I asked because as the night flew through my head, I couldn't tell what was real or what he was just doing to prolong the night and make sure we ended up back at the hotel. He said it would be too long of a drive home but that was only because we'd stayed out at the lake and the art fair for so long.
Half of me expected him to say no, that he didn't actually mean it when he said he loved me. I tried to brace myself for the blow, so that when he said it, I wouldn't look so affected.
"When?" he asked, his composure collected. But he didn't look confused at what I was talking about, just like he was playing dumb. I knew he knew exactly what I was talking about and the fact that he was doing that instead of just answering my question stung.
He'd played dumb when I asked him about it back at the lake and I thought it was cute but now I didn't know if he was just pulling me along for the ride.
"I'm leaving. Unless you want to fill me in on things or agree to stop treating me like a child or tell me if you meant it," I demanded.
He put his hands in his pockets and shook his head. "I don't."
I stared at his face and the more I felt my anger boiling, the harder I clenched my jaw. Eventually, it became too much to contain.
"You're being a jerk," I yelled, not knowing what was wrong with him or what caused this. The only thing I knew was that it wasn't how he usually acted and the fact that he wasn't telling me why he was being like this bothered me. "You don't get to do these things! You don't get to make decisions for me! I'm capable of handling myself. I've been training for the last three years to come back here and help you, not have you put me on a shelf with 'Do Not Touch' tape around me."
When he didn't do anything, I dug through the duffle bag until I found my wallet buried and took out my license and some money, stashing it in my back pocket. After previously running through the streets of Melkin with Dylan and Josh and the rest of the team chasing after me while I held my bulky purse, I soon realized it helped to have your hands free of purses, wallets, anything. Â I walked out of the room into the hall. I wasn't sure if he was going to follow me or not but I didn't want to stick around to find out. I made my way to the stairs, not willing to wait for the elevator to come.
I wanted to be angry. No, that wasn't quite right. I wanted to be allowed to be angry.
I wasn't allowed to be angry when Scully hinted to Dylan that Travis was still alive because it would have given up everything too soon.
My feet ran quickly down the stairs of the hotel until I pushed open the exit and the crisp night air blew against my face, sending my hair flying around in wild whips.
I wasn't allowed to yell at Dylan when I found out he was working with the Dacostas or when he put me on hotel arrest because I was too afraid to lose my job at the time.
My hands clenched at my sides as I marched down the street, in the direction of the faint neon lights in the distance.
I wasn't allowed to scold Josh for being a moron, for being dumb, for not listening to me because he thought he always knew better than I did.
The bracelet Travis had given me shortly before jangled against my wrist with each harsh movement I made. Each time my arm jerked a little too hard as I walked, it was like a small reminder of how sweet he'd been. But had he even been that sweet out of sincerity or just to keep the night going? A part of me knew he was honest when he gave me the bracelet, since he'd put thought into getting the ballet flats charm, but I wanted to be mad.
I wasn't allowed to hurt Sterling Dacosta the way I wanted to.
The lights were getting brighter as I walked closer to the flashy part of town where all the partying was going on when we'd driven by it earlier. A man was standing at the corner of a crosswalk, unmoving even though he could cross the street if he desired but his clothing made it look like he had nowhere to go. He saw me and his crackled face from being in the harsh sun for far too long each and every day smiled at me. He started to walk near to me and I wondered what he saw. An innocent girl? An easy target? A quick robbery? I reached into my pocket and pulled out my small knife, flicking it open and holding it in my hand as I continued on but my stare was trained on him. Do it, I dare you, I thought.
His eyes quickly zeroed in on the flash of the knife and he changed his path, walking back to the crosswalk with his back turned towards me.
I wasn't allowed to talk back to my dad when he told me anything outside of the city was dangerous and caged me in for years.
The first dance club that I passed as I walked, I went into. Darkness swam over everything, only illuminated by sporadic neon lights pointing in every direction.
Time after time, I was furious and wanted nothing more than to yell and speak my mind but instead I sat silently, pushing those emotions down inside of me until I learned to live with it. Now, there was no one stopping me. No reason I had to add this to my list of internal frustrations.
This time, I could be angry, act out, ignore Travis so he knew without a doubt how mad I was. I didn't need to play the obiendent part because it was just the two of us in this town, with no one to hide from. No one I had to put an act up for.
It was exhilarating and I focused as much as I could on that feeling. If I stopped, I could feel the pain start to ebb its way into my heart when I thought about how much it looked like he could care less.
Music pumped loudly through the club and I could feel the beat in my chest, calming me little by little.
Couples and friends were dancing around with each other. Some were drinking, others were spilling their drinks. Everyone was busy living their own, normal life and paid me no attention as I weaved deeper into the mass of bodies. Eventually, I found a spot on the dance floor that wasn't overly crowded with couples grinding on each other. It looked to be mostly groups of friends around each other where I stopped and let go.
I danced song after song, welcoming the music and letting it take over my mind. My worries and frustrations and anger washed away and all I could think about was the music, the beat of the drum, and the bodies around me.
At some point, one of the groups got close to me and sort of absorbed me into their dance circle. I didn't mind. Love you.
One of the girls pulled away from the guy she was dancing with and came up to me. She put her hands on my hips and started to dance with me. As long as she didn't make me stop, I didn't care. I was afraid if I stopped moving, I'd start crying.
Love you, he'd said.
"You're so good at dancing!" the girl screamed over the music.
I nodded and tried to smile to not seem rude.
"What's your name?" she asked.
I opened my mouth and hesitated. "Annie," I yelled back.
"I'm Tiffany!"
I nodded again. I didn't want to have a conversation, I wanted to dance but at the very least, she was being polite. She pulled away from me.
"Who wants some drinks?!" she asked the group. A few of them yelled yes and I shook my head, no. I wasn't going to let some random person get a drink for me.
Tiffany grabbed the arm of the guy she was dancing with and pulled him up to me.
"Teach him how to dance better!" she yelled and then she was off, ducking in between people to head over to the bar.
I started to dance, making no attempt to dance with the guy but instead just dance next to him. Eventually, he started to dance with me on his own and as long as he didn't stop to have a conversation with me and let me focus on the music, I didn't care who danced close to me.
Love you. It was convenient timing. Love you.
Every now and then, the guy's hands would stray to my hips and I would brush him off, not missing a beat. I didn't mind dancing with guys, I'd had plenty of guy dance partners in the past but each time this guy's hands would go to my hips, his body would press harder against my back and I didn't want to welcome any type of grinding.
He moved to dance in front of me.
"You're so pretty!" he yelled over the music.
I raised a hand to cover his mouth to shut him up. I didn't want to hear that.
Love you.
I wasn't sure how long had passed. I'd danced with a few people and alone multiple times. I wasn't sure if the pounding in my ears was my heart or the music. But I was sure when I went to turn at one point and my leg spiked with pain, that it was nothing to do with the music. I winced and tried to continue dancing, but the muscle that was hurt from Sterling had had enough. It didn't always hurt. I could run on it longer than I danced usually and I think it was the way my legs moved when I was dancing, the way pressure was put on it at different angles compared to running.
I untangled from the group around me and made my way out of the club, trying to ignore the slight ping in my thigh each time I stepped.
When I finally exited the club, I took a deep breath and pushed my hair back from my face. I was sweaty and clammy from the dancing and crowd. The air felt nice as I started to walk away from the club.
I felt his presence before I heard him. When he wanted to, he had a way about him that seemed to demand attention. Usually, it caused people to notice him to the point of leaving him alone, separating around him, walking out of his direction so he didn't have to move. People didn't have to look at him and see his face to know to move, they just did. And in front of me, I noticed someone walking towards me to the club stick suddenly to the edge of the sidewalk to go the rest of the way. I doubted he was moving out of the way for my sake.
Footsteps came from behind me.
"Tell me you at least brought the car," I said when he came up next to me.
I looked over to Travis to see him glaring down at me, not amused at my question.
I sighed and bit my lip as I worked to find the best way to step without hurting my thigh more.
I wasn't so angry anymore, having had a chance to calm down. That didn't mean I thought it was okay for him to hide things from me because I didn't think it would do well if our relationship was built on lies. Or at the very least, the belief that lies were excusable.
We walked in silence for awhile until the buzz of the club disappeared behind us and the walk back seemed to stretch on forever now now that anger wasn't driving me forward.
"That name you gave the cops," Travis eventually said and as he looked forward. He paused, thinking. "Annie Vanguard. Where'd you get it?"
"Melissa Vanguard was my mother's maiden name," I answered, knowing where he was going with this. I felt my stomach turn in on itself as I anticipated his next words.
"Annie's my mom's name," he stated. "Did you know that?"
He didn't seem offended even though I had stolen a bit of him, so I started to relax.
"Yes, it was in your file. And you told it to me once."
I had his file memorized but I didn't need to know most of it. At school during one of the first days after our deal, we had gotten on the topic of parents. It only seemed fitting we knew about each other's family to a degree, in case anyone asked.
"It was the first safe name I could think of," I explained.
To that, he sent a soft smile my direction for a second before his face went back to neutral.
"I'm sorry for calling you a jerk," I said because calling him names didn't get anything done.
Travis held his hand out towards me and I laced my fingers with his.
"I'll stop making decisions for you," he spoke softly. "It's just the last time you went in the Dacosta house, you got hurt and I lost you."
I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yeah, but that was years ago and I'm fine now. And I've learned more. And they don't scare me."
"It's not you I'm worried about," he said and gave me a pointed look.
"What?"
"What do you think half of my dreams are about? I'm back at the Dacosta house, only you get shot in the chest and not the leg. Or I'm outside the brick house and suddenly I see them hurting you even though I know you weren't there but in my dream, I see you clear as day and I can't get there in time to save you before they find me. Or I'm alone and I'm lying in the road again in my own blood trying so hard to move but I can't. Or I'm back at the building that collapsed but instead of Cam stuck under the debris, it's you and the fire's growing and there's too much smoke and I'm choking and can't breathe and you're not waking up. Or I'm in the alley,"
"Travis," I interrupted loudly, jerking on his hand to get his attention. He was rambling fast and I had a suspicion the events were some of the other times Ben said he'd almost died, mainly because he was squeezing my hand like his life depended on it as he spoke in a frantic tone.
His desperation didn't sound like it came from a vivid imagination, it sounded like it came from a memory. I didn't have the guts to ask about the brick house, road, or alley. I didn't want to know.
With difficulty, I pulled us to a stop and wrapped my arms around his chest. He held me close.
"I didn't want it to happen again," he said with a shaky whisper.
I rubbed my hand along his back.
His voice came out tense as he continued, "I didn't want you to go for me. I'm not sure I could handle it."
My chest ached and I felt selfish. I should have realized sooner. The second Ben told me how concerned he was for Travis, I should have started paying better attention. Travis wasn't an invincible superhero who could go and go, despite how much he tried. A place like Melkin and the things Travis had seen or done was bound to linger in his head. He could pretend to be carefree but that didn't mean he was able to wipe his memory and start each day with a clean slate.
I should have paid more attention when he had nightmares. A person could only be pushed so far before they cracked and I didn't want Travis to break.
"Come on," I suggested, slowly releasing him. He took a deep breath and pulled back.
His face was back to its neutral indifference, like he hadn't just went into a panic moments before.
I pulled him along, "We're almost back to the hotel and I saw a vending machine on my way out with some candy I wanted."
__________
Note:
Do you guys have any favorite parts or types of scenes? My sister said she likes action parts in general and I'm still undecided though I think some of my favorite parts to write might be the whole gang together. But I like knowing what people like or don't like :)
I mentioned on Twitter but I'll say it here as well so everyone knows-- when I was writing this, I basically didn't stop and realized this morning that I had more than one chapter so the next chapter is basically almost done already, yay! It should be up soon (:
Also, I'm on my phone posting this so if something looks weird or there's typos feel free to let me know!! I just really wanted to get this up for you guys and didn't want to wait until like 8pm tonight when I'd be home.