This chapter is dedicated to the amazing VeniLegiAmavi for making the awesome moodboard above for Travis! <3
Travis.
I felt like a million bucks except lighter.
She'd said it again, earlier, when I was dancing with her. I love you.
Ben liked to joke because he thought he was funny and say I had nine lives like a cat. He wasn't ever funny but I was pretty sure Lacey just demolished one of my lives by saying that so effortlessly.
I started pointing out places we could see from the rooftop. Places I had been while sneaking around or places that used to be fun before they turned to rubble. It was my poor attempt to share more with her because I couldn't say it back. This was a suitable compromise to me.
If I said it back and my lives ran out, as Ben would say, I didn't want her to deal with the aftermath of that. I knew I'd be a goner if something happened to her and she died. I'd be wasting away the rest of my probably short life replaying her "I love you" in my head again and again. Until I couldn't remember the sound of her voice and I'd be just making it up in my head. Like sometimes I forgot what my mom's voice sounded like if it'd been a long time since I spoke with her and the sound I had in my head was always different than the sound on the phone.
And I didn't want Lacey to live with that because the chances of something happening to me were much higher than something happening to her right now.
She'd be stuck with knowing I loved her and lost and I wasn't good enough to survive to live out our lives together. I didn't want to give her that hope only to crush it.
After some time, we were on our way out with Lacey walking ahead of me down the stairs. She stopped at the bottom of one of the flights and looked back at me, waiting. I wanted to stop everything and pull her closer to me, kissing her for hours. I looked down at the landing we were on. It was small but enough to get tangled up in each other on.
I stepped off the last stair, walking to her.
"Whose shipment was that?"
"What?" I asked, running a hand along her jacket sleeve until I reached her neck where my hand rested.
"Don't you think the Dacostas are going to be even angrier when they notice you ruined their stuff?"
I ran the palms of my fingers along the base of her neck and over her collarbone.
"Travis," she persisted.
"Hmm?"
"Focus," she said.
I narrowed my eyes a bit as I watched my hand on her.
"I am," I argued lightly.
Lacey sighed and pushed my arm away. I wanted to pout and whine but kept my face neutral solely because when I looked up at her finally, she didn't look happy.
She crossed her arms over her chest, "I don't want anything to happen to you."
"It's not theirs. It was our shipment," I explained quietly.
"You shot your own shipment of stuff?" she asked like she didn't believe me, yet again not saying drugs which I thought was cute. "Isn't that how you make money?"
I nodded. "Some of it. But it was coming in from the supplier and they're probably really upset right now that someone ruined it."
Lacey smacked my shoulder and I retreated slightly, holding onto it. It didn't hurt but still.
"Why would you do that?" she hissed.
"Would you relax? They're not going to think we did it. We're the ones waiting for it. Carlos is probably with the truck right now asking what the fuck happened. Why would we shoot our own supply?" I asked her the last part slowly.
"That's an excellent question. Maybe because you don't have enough people trying to kill you?"
I smiled. "They're going to think it's the Dacostas, who not only just burned our house but I imagine are also very angry that I'm still alive."
"You're framing the Dacostas?" I asked.
I tapped her on the nose and motioned for her to keep walking.
She began going down the rest of the stairs, and I was more than happy to resume watching her walk. Maybe we could stop at one of the empty fields on our way home. That was definitely bigger than the space in the stairs and we'd be alone.
We exited the stairs on the ground floor. This was also a big space. But one look at the ground had me leaning towards the field again. The floor here was disgusting, it was like a collection agency for dust.
The field would be better, yeah. I could have her screaming my name again and again until it was the only thing she remembered.
"Travis?" she asked in a low whisper.
Yeah, like that.
Wait.
Had I said that out loud?
My eyes snapped up from the floor to see she wasn't even looking at me, which was probably a good thing. She was peeking out of the main doors we came in earlier.
Lacey glanced back at me over her shoulder, worry etched into her face. It was there too much for my liking whenever she looked at me, if I was being honest.
I walked up behind her, my fingers crawling up the middle of her back as I thought more about undressing her.
"Look," she said nodded her head.
I poked my head around her to see what she was talking about and my fingers stilled on her back.
Out in the street, two guys were eyeing my motorcycle like hungry shark. I didn't know them and all of Lacey's cop friend's dressed too nice to be these guys. Probably Dacostas.
"Finders keepers," one said, looking around. Lacey and I ducked back to stay out of sight.
I took a few steps back from the door to contemplate my options. However, I had a blonde haired beauty shoving my side roughly.
"What the hell?" I asked.
Lacey looked pissed. "Why did you have to go and write that?" she pointed to another side of the building.
I think she meant the message I left with Finn but she was pointing in the wrong direction. I didn't make any moves to correct her.
"Congratulations, they found you," she hissed.
"No, they didn't. They found my bike."
"A bike that was our ride home and says you're probably in the area," she argued.
"Relax," I said calmly. "They don't know it's mine. I know what I'm doing." I didn't.
She muttered worries under her breath as I walked back over to the door, nudging it open slightly.
One guy was looking it over while the other had his stupid hands on Lacey's helmet.
"Yo, I think this is Miller's old bike," the one inspecting it said.
"Yeah, and I shit money. A lot of people have bikes."
"Didn't you hear he's back?"
I knew I only showed the cops my face yesterday which meant the cops squealed to the Dacostas, which Cameron figured they would during our meeting with him last night.
The one inspecting my bike got to the one part of it I was dreading. I just hoped he was partially blind.
"It says T.M. right here. It's etched in. I told you."
Dammit.
I glanced to Lacey to see her fidgeting. I clenched my hands at my side.
The second guy dropped the helmet on the ground and went to look. They were touching my stuff and I didn't like to share.
I could feel the anger rearing up inside of me, trying desperately to push its way to the surface. I tried to keep it locked down for the most part lately but for three years before Lacey came back, I was nothing but angry. It wasn't taking well to being held back. I could practically feel it protesting, pulling and clawing against all of the self control I had that was holding it back.
The first one stand up next to the bike, "Dude, I'm gonna piss on it."
My eyes widened and without thinking, I pushed the door fully opened and stormed toward them.
"Oh, fuck." The guy turned, hands still on his zipper.
I swung my arm back and hit him in the jaw. He stumbled away from my bike, hands finally leaving his pants because like hell was I going to let him ruin my baby.
Lacey ran out after me and the guy that had been holding her helmet grinned.
"You've gotta be kidding me," he said happily, like this was an early Christmas present.
Before I could advance on him, the one I'd hit came back at me from behind. He kicked the back of my knee, causing me to fall over.
I used my feet to kick him away from me when he tried to start punching me. A glare stuck on my face and as my anger slowly started taking over. Peeking a glance at the other guy, I saw him throw a punch at Lacey but she dodged it. Panic enveloped me before my stare hardened.
What cockblocks.
"You should be dead," the guy said to me like he had a death wish himself.
I started fighting him, punching back and forth with him. He could've run away and left but he kept coming back, and I was on the defense trying to play as nice as I could. Anger sat on my shoulders, practically whispering in my ears to get rid of him up but I held back.
"Fuck off," I urged the guy as I shoved him away from me.
But he didn't leave. He just tried to hit me again, like a moron.
"Ouch!"
My eyes snapped over to Lacey at her cry and I saw her holding her side, right where her tattoo was. She had a knife in her other hand as she gritted her teeth and sucked in a breath.
What little self control I had left lost the battle as I pulled out my gun, immediately shooting at the leg of the guy I was fighting and then again at the other's leg.
Lacey's eyes widened and she looked at me as the guys fell to the ground. I stood over one.
"Don't kill him," Lacey urged, still holding her side.
I glared at her. They weren't allowed to touch my bike and my girlfriend. I aimed at the guy.
"Don't," she stressed, voice sharp and clipped.
I clenched my jaw and looked down at the guy under me throwing a tantrum about his stupid leg. I met Lacey's eyes to see her staring hard at me. The guy was lucky it was only his leg, as I lowered my gun.
Walking to my bike, I grabbed my helmet and picked hers up off the ground. "Get on."
If we weren't going to kill them, there was no point in us hanging around. She walked to me but didn't grab the helmet. Instead, she narrowed her eyes at me.
"Let's go," I said. My voice was low and harsh, I could hear it so I knew she could too, but it was a lot nicer than me yelling or shooting again.
With a glare, she swiped the helmet from my hands and put it on before getting on. I sped away from the scene, leaving the two clutching their legs. Whether or not they bled out or called for help wasn't my concern. I knew it should've been, but that wasn't what I was used to doing. Usually when I left, people weren't breathing and I would be placing a call to Tom to clean everything up.
I didn't drive too fast through the city so the noise of my bike wasn't too loud but I wanted to. I wanted to whiz by each and everyone one of these buildings until they were all a blur and I could get my anger back in check. I shouldn't have been playing around on the roof with her. We should've left at the same time as Ben.
There was a buzzing against my chest, more than usual when I was riding my bike. Someone was calling me but I figured it was just Carlos filling me in on everything that happened. He knew we were going to shoot up the truck and it was his job to act like he had no idea. I wasn't worried about whether or not he could pull of the surprised act, he could talk his way out of anything and everything.
After a few rings, it stopped only to start back up again.
I groaned. After the third call, it stopped and I continued to drive until we got to the edge of Melkin. It was a bit safer than in the middle of the city. I pulled over to the side of the road and put my feet on the ground to balance us.
I pulled my phone out of the pocket on the inside of my jacket. Someone had definitely called me three times but it wasn't Carlos. I didn't have the number programmed into my phone but it was a number I would never forget.
Putting my phone back, I sighed and sat back a bit on the bike to try to relax. Lacey let go of me for a second.
It was rare that my dad ever called me. Usually when he needed something. I wanted to ignore him but after everything that happened the last few days, I figured it wasn't smart.
"We're making a pit stop," I told Lacey and she wrapped her hands back around my waist before I drove off in the direction of my dad's house.
I knew we had to ruin the shipment today, it was best to get the ball rolling as soon as possible. Cameron stressed that a lot last night but I didn't want to do anything today. I didn't want to have a phone. I would've been perfectly content staying by the house for most of the day and then maybe taking her out on a date, a real one, in one of the other towns near the house. It might have been a bit of a drive to get there, but that just meant further away from the shithole that was Melkin and I was okay with that.
I wanted to go on a date with her and spend time with her without getting interrupted.
We pulled up to a stop outside a random person's house a street away from my dad's. Whenever I visited, I made sure to go in through the back door. I didn't think anyone was ever watching his house but it wasn't something I wanted to risk. I didn't want any Dacostas having a reason to come after my dad, despite how much of a fuckup he had turned into.
Before walking, I grabbed my gloves from the small storage compartment I had put on my bike. I always brought them to see my dad in the off chance someone was watching his place, I didn't want them to find any recent fingerprints. I was going to be so happy when this whole thing was over and I didn't have to worry about who knew I was alive or where I was constantly.
Lacey was quiet on our walk, her gaze forward and a crease on her forehead. She wasn't happy.
"So you're not talking?" I asked eventually, my dad's backyard in view. Usually she was brimming with questions or worries and now, not even a peep. Not even to answer me as she just stared ahead.
In her defense, my voice was still rougher than I intended it to be.
We were walking through the neighbor's backyard, an old woman who barely moved from her rocking chair at least as far as I knew, when Lacey finally spoke.
"I don't like when you talk to me like that."
This wasn't the first time she'd brought this up to me but it wasn't like I was trying to talk to her like an asshole. I was just surrounded by a lot of assholes. Usually ones who wanted me dead. I clenched my jaw and reached into my pocket to pull out my gloves.
"You can't just kill everyone you see," she continued.
I narrowed my eyes and flexed my right hand a bit before slipping a thin, black glove on. It was sore from the fight.
"He hurt you," I said flatly as I slipped the other glove on. I knew what the guys looked like. Maybe I could find them later, without Lacey nearby.
"And that automatically means shoot him?" she asked like it was a crazy thought.
"Yes." My voice was louder than I expected it to be but it was a stupid question. What did she want me to say?
She crossed her arms over her chest.
"So you're just going to shoot everyone that touches me? What if I accidentally trip over someone's foot?"
"Yes," I said stubbornly, even though I didn't mean it. But I think we both knew she was a bit too graceful to just trip over someone's foot randomly so since we were both lying...
"Travis." She grabbed my arm and pulled me to face her as we stopped.
I glanced down at her hand on my arm, waiting for her to let go so we could keep going. I wasn't going to apologize for shooting them. But instead of asking that, her arms wrapped around my torso and she buried her face into my jacket, hugging me tightly. My arms went around her, pulling her closer and my shoulders started to relax. I closed my eyes, focusing on how it felt to have her in my arms and I felt more of the tension in my chest ease.
Before it got to be too much, I let go of her. I didn't want to waltz into my dad's house relaxed, that wasn't smart.
I grabbed her hand before she had the chance to cross her arms again, just in case she was still angry, and led her the rest of the way.
Standing outside the back door, I rocked on my feet a few times and looked at her.
"Maybe you should wait out here," I suggested.
She looked at me like I was crazy and I sighed, figuring that was going to be the case.
The door was unlocked so I let us in. Lacey's eyes wandered all around the kitchen. The light was off but the hallway and living room lights were on, illuminating the kitchen slightly. The trash can was overflowing with liquor bottles and the counter top near the trashcan had even more littering it because he couldn't be bothered to take out the trash.
Lacey crinkled her nose. I knew it was the smell of alcohol causing it because when I first came over when he started drinking heavily, I had the same reaction. Now, it was just how my dad's place smelled and I was used to it.
He was probably in the living room, judging by the light but instead, I went into the kitchen and grabbed an empty trash bag from under the sink. I started throwing all of the empty bottles and trash into it. I didn't know if my dad was passed out or not but by the clinking of the bottles, he'd know I was here if he was awake. He could come to me, he was the one that called me. In the meantime, I just wanted to clean up as much as I could before he pissed me off to the point I wanted to leave.
Lacey went to pick up a bottle to help but I grabbed her hand quickly.
"No," I said, staring hard at her. "Don't touch anything."
"I can help," she suggested softly and my heart panged. She didn't need to be cleaning up after my alcoholic father but I could tell she was willing to. That wasn't why I didn't want her helping though.
"Trust me," I said sternly. "Don't touch."
Again, I highly doubted anyone would be checking his trash for fingerprints but living as a dead man for the past few months had me aware of things like that.
She obliged for once in her life, stuffing her hands in her pockets.
I started grabbing some of the bottles on top of the trash can that didn't actually fit in there and threw them in the one I was holding. Lacey wandered quietly around me.
Eventually, the father of the year walked in, leaning on the wall as he stood at the edge of the living room and dining room.
"You got my message," he said.
I rolled my eyes. He never left a message. I specifically told him not to, ever.
"What do you need?" I asked, my voice colder than when I had been talking to Lacey earlier.
He scratched his stomach, moving up to his abdomen and just stood there as he looked at the two of us. I know Lacey's cheek was slightly red and puffy from fighting and I'm sure it was obvious I was in a scuffle. I doubted he noticed. He was drunk but he always was now.
"What the fuck do you want?" I repeated. "You called me three times."
My dad grunted and stopped scratching to hold up one finger at me, not bothering to tell me 'one second', and left the room.
I held in a groan. The sooner we were out of here, the better. I felt Lacey come up beside me as I tied the bag I had been working on but I didn't look at her. I didn't want to right now.
He came back shortly after with a piece of paper in his hand and put it down on the counter I'd just cleared.
"You got a warrant," he said, pushing the paper nearer to me. "I thought you said that police shit was all taken care of."
Ben and I had to fabricate a few lies to explain why he was getting notice I was dead when I clearly wasn't. We blamed the police.
I looked down at the paper, setting the trash bag down on the ground and the only noise that could be heard was the bottles rattling together. They could issue as many warrants for my arrest as they wanted but they'd have to find me first.
"Some special police came here, said you're wanted cause you shot one of them," my dad explained.
I shrugged. Technically, they weren't wrong.
"Did ya?" he asked.
"No," I lied.
Lacey brushed against me as she leaned closer, reading over the paperwork. Her eyes found mine and the worry in them killed me.
"Dylan," I said quietly while my dad mumbled about the men that came to the door.
It was when we were picking her up and they were chasing her. I don't know why they thought shooting at her would cause her to stop what she was doing and go toward them with open arms. Or why they thought a dead Casey was good - they wouldn't be able to try to get information out of a dead gang member or add it to their count of cleaning up the city by putting another behind bars. So I was a little angry after she called.
And I only got him in the arm.
And it caused everyone to stop shooting at her so we could get to my bike so I wasn't going to apologize for that one, either.
We were over here just trying to get by and live and everyone's either trying to pee on my bike or shoot my girlfriend.
"One was wearing a sling?" Lacey asked my dad, his words catching her attention.
He nodded before grinning at her. Dylan was apparently fine.
"I remember you," he said, pointing at her.
I shook my head. "Don't talk to her."
My dad looked at me like a toddler in trouble. "She talked to me, first."
"I don't care."
"Hard to forget the only girl you've ever brought home to meet me," my dad said and grinned at her again as he rested his elbows on the counter top.
I snapped my fingers in front of his face to get his attention back to me. "What did you tell them?"
My dad just shrugged, eyes drifting between Lacey and I.
"Nothing, boy. Stop making me clean up your messes."
"He just -" Lacey started to snap, her hand already pointing at the bag at my feet. However, before she could get any of it out, I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back slightly.
"Don't," I warned. It would just set my dad off and he was right, in a way. There had been multiple times the police had shown up here, but lately and when I was a teenager and each time he would play dumb.
I turned back to him, "Did they say anything? Anything about cameras? People watching the house?"
Instead of answering right away, he went to the cupboard and pulled out a bottle of whiskey that was half full. He poured some in a glass and dropped some ice cubes in it before walking over to the kitchen table and sitting down with a heavy sigh. He took a drink and rested his head in his hand, like he was running out of energy. More likely, he was losing his buzz.
"No," he finally answered.
"Are you sure?" Lacey asked urgently, pushing around me.
My dad looked at me, annoyance on his face. "Can I talk to her now?"
"No."
But he ignored me and spoke to her, "Do you not think I know what they said? I know what they fucking said."
"I'm just making sure," she defended.
I sucked in a deep breath, slowly letting it out. Today sucked.
"They gave me that card in case I remembered anything," my dad said, motioning to where the warrant was. He was probably drunk when they came over and judging by the state of the house, they probably thought he was wasted. He was, most of the time but his wasted was everyone else's tipsy. It wasn't until the nights that he got blackout drunk he couldn't remember things.
I glanced at the small business card. It was for some local Chinese restaurant. I flipped it over and saw Dylan's information scrawled on the back, including his phone number.
Maybe today wasn't so bad.
I pocketed the card.
"Let me know if they come back around," I said as I pulled the other trash bag that was in the can out and tied it.
"You mean if you assault another officer of the law?" he asked sarcastically.
"Yep." I pulled another bag out from the sink and put it in the trash can for him.
I grabbed both of the bags and nodded with my head towards the door for Lacey to know we were heading out. She started to walk but then hesitated, hovering by the kitchen table.
"I thought you were trying to get sober," she said as politely and quietly as she could but I knew it didn't matter how nice she was about it. Whiskey made my dad angry and now he wasn't focusing on the cops.
My dad didn't take too kindly to it. I watched as his grip tightened around his glass and I called her name once to get her to join me by the door.
"And I thought you were a whore," he retorted, eyes glancing down to her stomach for a moment before his glare found her face again. "Shouldn't you be knocked up by now?"
Fuck.
I waved the bag in one of my hands out, hitting her in the leg with it to get her attention and her wide eyes found mine.
"Go," I ordered right as my dad lost it, throwing his glass of whiskey at us. Lacey ducked, hands flying to her head. It shattered on the ground between us and liquid seeped over the kitchen tile.
Lacey didn't waste any time opening the door to the outside and bolting out of it. I followed, closing it on my way out.
We walked over to the neighbor's house quickly but I stopped near the driveway. Slowly, I opened her garbage bin and as cautiously as I could, I dropped the bags into the bin. My dad's was probably full and it was something I'd done countless times before when I was hiding from everyone. The first few times I came over, I didn't have gloves and didn't want anyone going through my dad's trash to find my fingerprints so I used our neighbor's. She was too old to notice.
"You shouldn't have said that," I said as we started our walk back to the bike.
"What?" she asked, looking up at me with innocence. "He shouldn't have been that drunk during the day, talking to the cops, and making you clean up his mess. He's your father, not the other way around. He should act like it."
My head snapped down to her, surprised by her words. I thought she was just asking him out of curiosity. But the small, mischievous grin that she sent me after that told me otherwise. She was trying to make him angry. For me?
Pride swelled in my chest at the fact that she was sticking up for me. I could handle myself when it came to my dad, but it was still refreshing to know she was willing to speak her mind to him.
I grabbed her hand, lacing our fingers together.
"You're the most important person to me, you know that. Right?" I asked quietly as we walked.
"Sometimes I'm not sure," she admitted sheepishly.
"What?" I slowed down, not sure if I was hearing her correctly. Was this because I didn't say I love you back? She hadn't brought it up at all so I figured she was okay with it.
Lacey grinned like she was trouble again and it made me want to kiss her. I would pay anything to have that look of hers replace every single worried face she made.
She leaned in closer to me like she was about to tell me a secret and I humored her, bending over slightly so our faces were closer.
"Sometimes I think it's Ben," she whispered.
I threw my head back as I laughed freely. The hand holding hers squeezed her hand and my other hand went to my stomach as I continued laughing, happy again and feeling myself after a few frustrating hours.
"Don't worry, I don't think he likes me like that," I smiled.
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CAN I JUST SAY I recently came across a soul and their legal birth middle name is l i t e r a l l y 'Danger'. What?? lol
I hope you liked this chapter! Have a great day and don't forget to smile <3