No one knows.
I've haven't told anyone, and it's eating me alive. Austin and I made a promise to never lie to each other, and I feel like I'm breaking that promise. I keep telling myself that I'm not lying, I'm just not exactly telling the truth. Let's be real, I'm not the best liar in the world. I'm actually probably the worst, so I know everyone knows something is going on.
~Andrew P.O.V~
If there was an award for the worst liar in the world, Denver would win. Every year. Something is eating the kid alive. He is worse now then he was when the bullying was at its worst. I'm about to just let Jack have a couple hours with him since that worked last time. I guess I'll take a stab at it first, though.
If I'm guessing he's in his room watching tv surrounded by many blankets and pillows. Opening the door, I see that my guess is right. Except, he's not watching tv, he's asleep with it on. I almost hate to wake him up. He's so cute when he's sleeping. Deciding I want to have this conversation now, I walk further into the room. I sit by him on the bed, start playing with his hair, and push his bangs off his forehead. He's a pretty light sleeper, but I guess he subconsciously knows it's me because he doesn't wake up. I start scratching his back, and this time he wakes up in a daze, obviously confused.
"Please tell me it's not Monday," He says in a groggy voice.
I laugh at him and shake my head. Now I think he's even more confused because his eyebrows furrowed together.
"I just want to talk, baby," I say to him to ease his confusion.
"Talk? About what?" he says, cutely wiping his eyes with his hands.
"What's got you so worked up babe," I say as he sits up.
"What do you mean?" He asks, not making eye contact.
"Really, Denver, really? You have been acting strange, and I just want to make it better." I say, rubbing his knee.
He doesn't reply.
"Is it Finn again? I will tell someone this time, I won't just sit around while someone hurts my kid." I say in a serious tone.
"No, it's not Finn. He's actually gotten better," he says, and honestly, for once in my life, I can't tell if he's lying.
And that scares the shit out of me.
~Denver P.O.V~
I hate lying to him, but what else can I do? I can't just tell him Finn's secret, It's not my secret to tell. Even if I did tell him, I'm sure he would take it very well. He's right about one thing though, I have been a little off. I can't help but feel terrible because of me and Austin's promise. I don't break promises, and it's driving me insane. I can't decide if telling him is a good idea or not. Sure it will help me feel better, but Finn told me to specify not tell Austin, and I have no idea why. Either way, I' breaking a promise. Austin is my best friend, I never want to hurt him. Ever.
Speaking of Austin, his face flashes on my phone screen, telling me he wants to FaceTime. I hit the green button, obviously.
"Hey," I say before he can, but honestly, that's not what he looked like he was about to say.
"That's all you got? "Hey," he asks, looking hurt.
"What do you mean," I say even though I know exactly what he means.
"Oh you know damn well what I mean," he says
"What happened, and why are you keeping it from me? Does our promise me nothing to you?" He asks, and tears automatically wheal up in my eyes.
He doesn't realize how much it means to me, and I feel like I'm about to blow our friendship. He's so important to me, I can't lose him.
"I'm so sorry," I say, sobbing at this point.
"About what, Den?" His tone softens.
"For not telling you. It's been eating me alive because our promise means so much to me," I say quickly, trying to get it out in between breaths.
"Well, you haven't told me anything yet," he jokes, and just like that, we are back to normal. He knows I don't cry over nothing, so he knows something much bigger is going on.
"Well, umm, fuck janitor's closets," I start off.
I see all the humor drain from his face. He's livid, and I don't think it's at me anymore.
"What did that son of a bitch do?" Austin asks, knowing immediately who we are talking about.
"Nothing," I start, but he raises his eyebrows at me. "Well, nothing really," I say, trying to take up for Finn.
"So that's why you have been avoiding me? For nothing?" He deadpans, anger still lacing through his voice.
"No! He didn't hurt me, nothing like last time," I say trying, and failing, to calm him down.
"Then what did he do, Denver? Drag you into a closet just to have a conversation?" Austin asks, annoyed, and I think he's starting to get annoyed at me.
"Uhh, yeah. He actually did. He told me not to tell anyone, and it's not my secret to tell, but you are so important to me. I can't lose you, Austin," I say, spilling my heart to him.
" Denver, I'm not going anywhere. I just wish you would tell me, you can trust me with anything," he says, his tone softening. His eyes hold the same anger, though.
"I know. It's just for once in my life I feel bad for Finn," I say, looking at the ground.
"What? Why the hell do you feel bad for that fucker? After everything he has done to you?" Austin asks, outraged again.
"He was manipulated into trying to kill me. Andrew and Ryan's ex's threatened him with a secret. They told him that if he didn't get rid of me, they would tell everyone," I explain.
"Manipulated or not, he still tried to kill you. I don't want him anywhere near you. I shouldn't have missed. This is my fault. Oh, the next time I see him, I'm going to take my foot and shove it so far up hi-" Austin rambles, but I cut him off.
"Austin, I'm fine. He didn't hurt me. You haven't done anything wrong, you are sick." I say
"I don't give a rats ass if he hurt you or not. He shoved you in a fucking closet again, probably scared the shit out of you again. I won't stand for it Den, he will be sorry." Austin says, still outraged.
"He did scare me at first, he will probably always scare me. This time was different though, I have never seen him show emotion. He completely broke down. He went on about how he has never wanted to hurt me and how it kills him every time he does," I explain, leading up to the "wow factor" of the evening.
"Hurts him? I'll show him something that really hurts. Why the hell did he say all that?" Austin asks, not really catching on, but hell, neither did I.
"Well, uh, he just completely broke down crying in my arms. After he said all that, I had had enough. I wanted him to give me answers because I was confused as hell. So, I uh, asked him what he meant my secret, and he finally told me. Austin, he said he was in love with me." I say, Austin hanging onto my every word.
"He's fucking what?" He asks, eyes wide.
"I honestly don't know. He has never shown emotion like that." I answer,
"well..uhh, do you like him?" Austin asks, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"What? No, he's made my life a living hell. I can't see him without wanting to hide," I say, immediately shutting that thought down.
"So..you don't like him because he scares you? Not because he's a boy?" Austin asks, trailing his question off at the end.
That thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I have been thinking for a while now, and I really don't think I care that Finn is a boy. Sometimes I have these thoughts about Austin, I know I shouldn't, but I do. He's my best friend, and I'm so grateful for that. It's just sometimes, I find myself wanting more. Do I care that Finn is a boy? No, I really don't. In fact, I think that's the only thing I like about Finn.
Oh fuck. I like the idea of being with a boy. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to tell Austin that? What if I tell him, and he leaves. What is he's disgusted by me and no longer wants to cuddle and watch movies with me?
"Denver..?" Austin asks, interrupting my mental panic.
"Uhh, yeah," I try to answer with confidence, but my voice breaks at the end. Effectively bringing tears to my eyes.
"Do you uh, like the fact that he is a boy?" Austin questions further.
"Yeah," I say softly before I lose the nerve and just hang up on his questioning ass.
I've never admitted that out loud before. He hasn't said anything back; oh shit, he hates me now. I've ruined it, he's going to leave me. With that thought, I start crying again.
"Hey, hey, what's the matter, pretty boy?" Austin asks in a comforting voice.
"You're g-going to l-le-leave me," I say in between sobs.
"Why the hell would I do that?" Austin asks like his mind can't comprehend what I said.
"Because you are probably grossed out by me now and probably never want to be around me anymore," I say silent tears still streaming down my face.
"Pretty boy, I would never leave you, especially because of that. I don't care who you love Den, I just want you happy," Austin says with his goofy grin plastered on his face.
I just start crying harder. That is the sweetest fucking thing I have ever heard in my entire life. I don't deserve someone like Austin, he is so good.
"Why are you still crying?" Austin says panicking again
I can't help but laugh at him. I probably look crazy. I have tears running down my face. While laughing hysterically.
"That was just the sweetest fucking thing," I say, smiling at him after I get done laughing.
"Oh shut up," He says, covering his face in his hands.
I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Not only because of the Finn thing but because now there is nothing he doesn't know about me. It's incredible to have someone complete you. I don't want to spend my days with anyone else.
Edited A/N~ I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It's almost completely rewritten, so sorry for that. Until next time ð