Chapter 23: Chapter 22

We just stared at the last photo for a while.

The long series is the centrepiece of Shane's show and I can see why. It's really powerful, even if I'm not exactly sure what it means. I ask Teddy what he thinks.

"Oh man," says Teddy. "I dunno. Something about how people are so voyeuristic maybe? I know she's supposed to be hitting the photographer with the bat, but it's like she's hitting us, the viewers, you know? Like we're the ones she's mad at."

"Yeah, I think so too," I say. "She's like 'you think I only exist for you to get off on? Well get off on this, bitches!'"

Teddy smiles. "Exactly," he says, then pauses for a sec and I start to wonder if we're done with the topic before he goes on.

"Shane's drawing the audience, or viewer I guess, into the equation, but maybe the point is that the viewer's always part of the equation, you know? It's human beings on both sides—the one looking and the one being looked at—with the photographer as the middle-man, directing things maybe, but really just being sort of a lens."

"What do you think pissed her off in the middle there?" I ask.

"Yeah, good question," Ted says. "I was thinking maybe the pretend photographer asked her to do something she really didn't want to do, you know?"

"Yeah," I say. "Or she just woke up to how degrading it all is. You think he's also making a comment about violence? Like, her reaction is pretty over-the-top!"

"Maybe," says Teddy. "Like not just sex-porn, but violence-porn as well? I don't know. I wonder if it's cheating to ask Shane what it means."

I'm really enjoying our conversation about Shane's crazy photos, but now Jello comes over and sort of tugs Teddy aside. I can hear him clearly and he pretty obviously asks for Ted's permission to hit on C. J. without actually saying it like that, cuz that isn't the guy way of doing things. Instead he says that C. J. is hungry and they were thinking of going, just the two of them, over to Safi's for pizza and would that be cool with Teddy?

I feel a little flutter, hoping Teddy will indeed be cool with it because, really, he officially came to this thing with C. J. and I'm just tagging along, but he and I have had such an awesome time together I really want it to continue.

"It's fine Jell, really," says Teddy, and being Good Guy Ted, he looks over to where C. J. is somewhat awkwardly maintaining a strategic distance from the conversation and gives her a smile and a wave. She smiles back and shrugs pretty damn cutely, I must say. Can't believe Teddy has, for the moment at least, chosen me over her. She's so cool and I think, if I were him I'd probably like C. J. way more than me, but then, I'm not going to start playing that game. For one thing, I'm having too much fun, and for another, C. J. has clearly fallen under Jello's magic spell just like, apparently, a billion other girls.

Teddy turns back to me and I play it cool. No biggie, Ted. I don't want to bear-hug you or anything right now. Byron and Katie are still here. They've found a couple of chairs and are sitting close together drinking sodas. Byron's talking while looking at some of the other guests in the gallery and Katie is giggling.

There's one last series of photos that we haven't looked at yet. This is the set with the penis shots that Jello very maturely commented on as soon as we stepped inside the door. The title is "AdamEveAdamEveAdamAdamEveEve" and there are eight big black-and-white portraits, each of a different man or women, all completely naked, with a very long snake, maybe a boa constrictor, stretching from tail to head across all of their shoulders. The tail of the snake is on the first portrait, the first of the four Adams, and the head, eyes glistening, tongue flitting out, is above the left breast of the fourth Eve in the last portrait. In between, Shane has cleverly positioned the snake so it looks like it continues all the way across all eight portraits. Pretty cool, Shane.

As cool as the snake is, the point of this series is that there are four different combinations of Adams and Eves. The first Adam is maybe half-white, half-Chinese, and the first Eve is white. We know they're a pair because they're obviously holding hands even though their portraits are a few feet apart on the wall—you can see a bit of her hand in his picture and a bit of his in hers. Adam has a bunch of tattoos and a fairly substantial, uh, package. There's no fig leaves on any of them, so there isn't much left to the imagination. I like the fact that he doesn't look like a model, and neither does Eve. None of them do, in fact. Just regular people. Maybe friends of Shane's?

Second Adam is black and second Eve is blonde and very pale. They're holding hands too, but this Eve, naughty girl, is also holding hands with the third Adam in the series as well. That Adam is followed by another Adam. They're a two-Adam couple, ya know? They're followed by a two-Eve couple and that's where the series ends. Diversity is what we humans are. Lots of different ways to be and to love, says Shane. Don't hate. Be nice.

"Cool," says Teddy. And, yeah, it is cool.

We look around the room. We've seen all the photos and, by now, Jello and C. J. are gone. "Should we see what Byron and Katie want to do?" I ask.

"I think they're all going over to Byron's uncle's house. Byron says he can drive us home if we want, but it's kind of out of his way."

"Should we just take the bus home?"

"I guess," says Teddy, "unless you..."

Teddy doesn't finish what he's saying because there are some noises over by the door. I can't really see what's going on, but people are moving toward the commotion or craning their necks to get a better look. Some guy is talking pretty loudly, sounding equal parts pissed off and drunk.

• • • •

Teddy spotted the guy with the loud voice. He was wearing a suit and dress shirt, but the shirt was untucked and he looked like he was drunk. There was some awkward jostling going on between him and some of the gallery patrons. Shane's father was there, standing right behind the man, apparently ready to put him in a headlock if necessary.

The drunk man still spoke loudly, slurring his words. "Izzokay... Izzfine... Hey! Don't you... Ina!... Iiiiina!!... This guy... Get yer filth... No!... No you don't!... Whose house izziss anyway?"

"Oh shit!" said Teddy. "I know that guy. That's Peter Cavil, the lawyer. That's my Mom's boss!"

"Really?" said Darwin. "That's Peter?"

"Yeah, it's definitely him."

Ina Loach was walking toward him and as she approached, Peter saw her coming and his demeanour changed completely. He smiled and said, "Ina, darling."

He said it so clearly that for a moment it seemed like he'd just been pretending to be drunk. Then he fell down.

Teddy and Darwin found themselves moving closer, getting carried along with everyone else crowding in to watch the scene. Peter was struggling to get up as Ina looked on, unimpressed. When he finally stood, she spoke.

"Shame on you Peter! What a way to carry on. Do you think this will make me regret firing you?" she said.

"I'm here for the arse... the arts!" said Peter loudly, then noticed one of the photos on the back wall. "Whoa, that guy's got a big dangle!"

"Stop it!" Ina said. "Pull yourself together."

"What I shooze to do on my own time..." Peter muttered indignantly.

"Yes, you're right." Ina said. "Since you can't even behave professionally when you're working, I shouldn't expect any better of you when you're on your own time. Now get out of here before Claire calls the police to have you removed."

Ina Loach turned and walked away. "I can remove myself!" Peter said loudly, then again shouted "The arts!" before turning and walking into the glass door. Finally, with some difficulty he figured out how to open it and went out.

• • • •

Peter finally left, or at least went outside to wait for a cab. The gallery owner called for the cab, possibly thinking about a lawsuit if the guy drove and got himself killed after attending her event. I can't believe that was Neea's boss.

"Wow," I say to Teddy. "What the hell was that? Not surprised that Neea didn't want to date that guy."

"Uh, yeah," said Teddy, sounding a little stunned.

"But if he got fired by his big client," I said, "isn't that bad for Neea's job?"

"Yeah. She was pretty much Peter's entire business from what Mom told me," said Teddy.

"Damn," I say.

I don't want to be selfish, but if Neea doesn't have a job what does that mean for my current living arrangements? Maybe my parents can chip in more? Maybe I need to get a job soon?

Seems like the party's over so we say goodnight to Zoë and to Shane and his parents. There's no sign of Peter as we leave so his cab must have come. The night is cold and crisp and I'm grateful it isn't raining. We stuff our hands into our coat pockets and breathe out white clouds as we walk. After a while I notice that we've walked right past the bus stop but we keep walking. I can't decide if this is one of the comfortable silences or an awkward one so I blurt out a question about when Neea was dating Peter.

"Yeah, that was a weird time," says Teddy. "It was in the summer when all that was happening. I was, like, fourteen, I think? He took us out on his boat a couple of times. I don't think he knew that much about sailing. Twice we almost hit other boats. Anyway, Mom said Peter only joined the yacht club cuz he hated golf and thought this would be the next best way to advance his career. The yacht club crowd wasn't too impressed though. His boat was called 'Passing Wind' which he thought was super-witty but some of the other yacht people thought was kind of disrespectful to their club and to the, you know, grand tradition of yachting or whatever."

"Passing Wind," I say, smiling. "That's kinda funny."

"Heh, yeah, I guess it is. And you know those little rowboats they sometimes have on sailboats? His was called 'Little Fart'."

"Nice."

We turn off of Oak Bay Avenue onto Fort Street. "Cold?" Teddy asks. "Maybe we should have gotten the bus."

"No, I'm good. We can walk."

Sweet of him to ask, but it wasn't very long ago that I would have been sleeping outside on a night like this.

• • • •

They passed a coffee shop that was open late and Teddy said he was kind of cold and asked Darwin if she minded going in for a hot chocolate to warm up.

There was no one in the place except the man behind the counter. Teddy and Darwin chose a table by the window and sat with their steaming cups of hot chocolate. Darwin blew on hers and took a cautious sip. "C. J. seems really nice," she said.

"Yeah," said Teddy, "she's great."

He looked out the window at the dark street, a car passing, slowing down and then doing a U-turn.

"I don't think I really like her in that way, you know?" he said. "I think C. J. and Jell might be a better match... as long as he doesn't screw it up."

"Why do you say that? Is that what he usually does?"

"Well... he probably wouldn't see it that way, but yeah. It's like he's totally in love or whatever at first, but then he gets bored or something. He can never be with the same girl for more than a month or so."

"You think he gets bored with a girl after he has sex with her?"

"Maybe," said Teddy. "I honestly don't know."

"And you don't ask him," said Darwin with a smile, knowing that's not something guys tend to do.

"Of course not," said Teddy, smiling back.

The door to the coffee shop opened with a tinkling bell and a man came in. Teddy didn't look up so he didn't realize who it was until he heard the familiar deep voice order a dark roast drip coffee.

"Uncle Joe!" Teddy called out.

"Oh hey, what are you guys doing here?" said Uncle Joe. "Did you get tired of the photo thing?"

Uncle Joe stirred an unhealthy amount of sugar into his coffee then pressed a plastic lid onto the cup.

"No, it was good!" said Teddy.

"I just saw Angelo and his new girlfriend at Safi's," said Joe. "I'm delivering tonight. Stopped for a little rocket fuel."

He turned to Darwin. "I'm Joseph Muscat, but you might as well call me Uncle Joe. All these guys do. You're Darwin, right?"

Darwin nodded and Uncle Joe went on. "Angelo told me about you. You're just as pretty as he said you were."

Darwin smiled. "Aw thanks. You're pretty dashing yourself."

Joe laughed loudly. "Haha! She's a keeper! Hey, you guys want a ride to Safi's?"

As they got up to go, Teddy was ruminating on C. J. being Jello's "girlfriend" and Darwin being a "keeper" like she might somehow be his to keep.

"You two sit in the back," said Joe as they walked out to his Tercel. A stack of empty red thermal pizza delivery bags was on the front passenger seat and a large assortment of paper cups and fast food boxes, bags and wrappers was on the back seat.

"Sorry about all the crap. Just shove it onto the floor. Keep meaning to clean that up."

Teddy and Darwin slid things off the seat then got in and buckled up.

"Thanks so much for the ride, Joe," said Teddy. "Is it possible to drop us off near my place? I don't think Jello would want us crashing his little party, you know?"

"No problemo," said Joe. As he started the car there was a terrible noise like someone shaking a can full of rocks.

"Don't worry about that." said Joe. "It's nothing."

As Joe drove down Fort Street towards James Bay, Teddy pointed out a huge old stone house off to the left that looked more like a castle, its towers and turrets floodlit against the night sky. "That's Carradale," he said to Darwin. "That's the Loach family house. It's, like, more than a hundred years old."

Darwin leaned across to Teddy's side to look at the house as they passed, casually resting her hand on his arm a moment before sliding back to her side of the car.

"So that woman Ina, she grew up in that house?" Darwin asked.

"No, she married into it," said Teddy. "Gordon Loach, right Joe?"

"Yup, Gordon," said Uncle Joe.

"Ina was some rich South American woman who married one of the Loach sons and got even richer," said Teddy.

"Second marriages for both of 'em," Joe added.

"So what's this whole big court case?" Darwin asked. "Hasn't it been going on for, like, years?"

"Yeah. She's suing the Loach family for a bigger cut of the inheritance," said Joe.

"What inheritance?" asked Darwin.

"The old man, Kenneth Loach. He died a few years ago," said Joe. "Her husband, Gordon, died a few years before that and before he did, there was some kind of falling out with his father. Because of that, his slice of the pie was less than the other siblings and that's what she's suing about."

"And Peter was her lawyer," said Darwin.

"'Was'?" asked Uncle Joe.

"Yeah," said Teddy. "Ina fired him, apparently. Peter showed up at Shane's thing tonight drunk out of his mind. I don't know if he was begging her to hire him back but, if so, it didn't go too well."

"Wow," said Joe.

Crossing Cook Street they passed a noisy group of kids spilling off the sidewalk onto the road. Teddy noticed Darwin looking closely at them as they went by. Maybe she knows them, he thought. It occurred to him that he'd almost forgotten about her strange past, the drugs and the sketchy friends. Was she really over all that, or did she miss it? Was this new life weird for her? He hadn't ever talked to her about that. He decided he'd ask her about it when the time was right.

Joe started telling them about his Private Investigator plans. He said he got the kit that he ordered and it was really cool but he found out that there's a lot more to it than that. He'll need to take an online course, which he's fine with, but even then he can only be a "private investigator under supervision" at first.

"It's kinda like an apprenticeship. You gotta to do the job alongside a pro for a year or more before you're allowed to go out on your own. Unless you're an ex-cop. Ex-cops get a pass and can become full private eyes right away. Everyone else has to do an 'under supervision'."

"Does that mean you won't get paid for a whole year's work?" Teddy asked.

"Oh no, you still get paid. You get paid by the investigator you're working with or by the agency he works for. You're a private eye, you're just not an unrestricted private eye. You can't run your own agency until you're unrestricted. That's what I wanna do, run my own agency, but I gotta learn the ropes first. That's how the system works."

"I guess it makes sense," said Teddy.

"Absolutely it makes sense. You wanna know what you're doing in that business. It's not pizza delivery. A mistake delivering pizza costs you maybe a tip. A mistake as a PI costs you your paycheque, or your license, or worse..."

"Uh, like your life?" asked Darwin.

"Well, Victoria isn't exactly Chicago or New York, but still, if you screw up with the wrong people, really bad things could happen."

Uncle Joe pulled up to their house on Rendall Street. "So what kind of work would you be doing?" asked Darwin.

"You mean as PI under supervision? Different things. The usual stuff mostly: fraud, missing persons, child custody, that kind of thing. Plus working with attorneys on court cases. That's big too. Anyway, have a good night you guys. I gotta bounce."

"Really great to meet you, Uncle Joe," said Darwin.

• • • •

Uncle Joe's a big cutie and he dropped us off right in front of the house even though he's working at his pizza delivery job. Neea's watching a movie when we come in. It's a Finnish movie that Teddy downloaded for her. I've watched a couple of those with her, struggling to keep up with the subtitles while she laughs or cries.

She pauses the movie and asks how our night was, seemingly eager for details. Teddy just shrugs, but I tell her it was really great.

"Shane's photos were really cool and the crowd was pretty interesting too, wasn't it?"

"Definitely," says Teddy. "Uh, Mom. Peter was there."

"He was?" says Neea.

"Yeah, and so was Ina Loach. Peter showed up totally drunk and caused a huge scene. Apparently Ina had fired him and I guess he's not taking it well."

"What? Oh no!" says Neea, looking quite concerned. "Poor Peter. Perhaps I should call him."

"You might want to wait until tomorrow," says Teddy.

"Yeah," I say, "and probably not too early. He'll be in rough shape."

Neea looks sad. I guess she cares about Peter. Or maybe she's worried about her job situation.

"I can't say I'm surprised," she says, then asks if we want to watch the movie with her.

"Uh, I'm a little tired," I say. "Maybe I'll just head downstairs."

Teddy's about to go up to his room for the night, but I stop him. I really want to ask him to come downstairs to my room so we can talk some more and maybe share some sweet, sweet kisses, but all I end up saying is, "Hey, thanks a lot for taking me with you. That was really great."

"Oh, uh, no problem," he says. "It was a good time."

And we go our separate ways.

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