"Where's my girl?" my dad says, his voice cracking as he speaks. "Where's your smile gone? How did this happen?"
There are lots of tears as we all sit in the living room, Geoffrey and me on the couch, Neea and my mother in the two big armchairs. Dad and I are crying and Neea is too. My mother isn't much of a crier. She's just sitting there with a look on her face like she's just been served undercooked chicken.
Finally she says, "Are you anorexic too?"
"No, Mom," I say, flatly, wiping my eyes. "I'm not anorexic. Side effect of meth use. You tend to not have much of an appetite."
She just shakes her head. The woman finds out I've been living on the street, addicted to a dangerous drug, and she just wants to criticize my appearance. Whatever. I won't let her get to me.
It actually feels good to cry in a way. Besides extreme irritability, I've been pretty low on emotions, both good and bad, so it seems like a kind of progress just to feel something. Maybe once I get good at sadness I can work on joy. But yeah, just seeing my dad cry is going to bring on the tears every time.
My parents are dressed in their church-worthy best. My dad often wears this grey-green tweed jacket to work, not just church, alternating it with the brown corduroy one and the darker grey one with the the leather elbow patches, but Pat has gone full-church mode in her purpleâsorry, "shiraz"âblazer and slacks set, matched up with a satiny beige blouse and the pearls Granny Guerin gave her. It's a look that says she's here to do God's work and this time, I guess, I'm the charitable cause.
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Teddy had barely recovered from the excruciating dinner at his dad's and now he had to deal with Darwin's parents coming over. From up in his room he heard them come in, the loud pleasantries impossible to miss even over the sound of an online game and Byron's voice coming through the computer's speaker. While he and Byron mindlessly slashed their way through hordes of lizard men they talked about Byron's cousin Shane. Shane Lin was six years older than Byron and was starting to make a name for himself as an artistic photographer, having graduated at the top of his class in art school. Byron grew up idolizing Shane, following him around town, learning which comics were cool, what music to listen to, what books to read. When Shane came out as gay a few years ago, nothing changed between them. Teddy didn't know if Byron had even suspected, but he certainly didn't seem to care.
Apparently, Shane was working hard putting together a show of his work for a gallery in town. He'd had his stuff in galleries before but this would be his first solo show. He was nervous, Byron said, but excited about showing the new work.
"Switch to glacial blades," said Byron. "Flammarions."
"Yup," said Teddy.
"So we should go," said Byron.
"No, we got this."
"No, I mean Shane's thing. We should all go. He'd appreciate it."
"Oh, yeah. We totally should," said Teddy.
Teddy wondered if C. J. would be into going to Shane's show with him. She looked like she might have an artsy streak, with her cool clothes and the buttons on her jacket. He was imagining walking around a gallery with her, maybe arm in arm, saying smart things about the art and making her laugh... Now Byron was talking about how Katie's dad gets him to help with projects around the house.
"Even if Katie's brother James is just lounging in front of the TV, he'll ask me. I think it's a Japanese thing. He's testing me. He wants to see if I'll make a good son-in-law."
"Watch out!" said Teddy.
"I know! It's starting, right?" said Byron.
"No, Hell-hounds on the left!" said Teddy, then continued, "But isn't that kinda like your parents? Don't they pretty much consider you two married already?"
"Yeah, I guess. What is it with parents?"
"Well you guys are eighteen. If you were in rural China wouldn't you have four kids by now?"
"Nope," said Byron. "Three-child limit."
As they chatted, Teddy got an alert on his phone, an email from C. J.
Mr. Aiken,
Your presence is requested, and highly anticipated, at the next meeting of the Songhees Robotics Club, to be held at Room 254 in the Stanton Building at Songhees College on the 21st day of October.
Sound official enough? I hope you'll show up. We need more cool people!
How was Vancouver? Did it suck as much you thought it would? My Thanksgiving was low-key. Chicken and a movie. My mom isn't one to go all out on the holiday rituals. The chicken was from that machine at the grocery store that slowly turns so you can see the little chicken bodies roasting. She got a container of coleslaw and a box of potato wedges. We're such hobos, but we were thankful for our roasty chicken body.
Your dinner was probably fancier. Anyway... Robotics Club. I'm serious.
All hail our robotic overlords!
(We really need to start saying that at the end of our meetings.)
CJ
Teddy thought to himself, I'm a cool person? When he finished reading it, another message came in.
Mr. A,
OK, here's another option for you to consider. I'll quit bugging you about the Robotics Club forever if you come out to a movie with me.
I'm not usually this forward but I like you and I happen to know that the robots will be taking over soon and, well, you gotta live while you can.
So there's that new movie with that guy and that girl about that thing. We should definitely see that one.
CJ
Huh, thought Teddy. That's interesting.
"You still there, bro?" said Byron.
"Yeah, just reading an email. Kind of uh... unexpected."
"From who?" asked Byron.
"Uh, no one. This girl. Gotta go. Tell you about it later."
⢠⢠⢠â¢
The ultimate test of my new, slightly improved mood will be the dinner with Neea, Teddy and my parents. This collision of my worlds is kind of the perfect scenario to potentially smart-bomb the psychological side of my recovery, but it's better than what Neea was originally planning, which was a big Thanksgiving dinner like the one she'd promised Teddy but including Geoffrey and Pat. I nixed that and said let's keep it simpleâsimple meal, a little chit-chat, and done. It's enough that we'll have to talk about me and my issues without the added weight of expectations and disappointment that go with family holiday gatherings. She eventually agreed.
"Neea, this is a charming old house you have," Geoffrey is saying as we're seated at the dining table. He's employing the standard English strategy of small-talk under any circumstance, so at least the chit-chat part is on track. Neea proceeds to tell Geoffrey about Grimston House's history and then the two of them are jabbering away about how Victoria is the most Britishy city in all of Canada, with its high tea at the Empress Hotel, the tartan and tweed shops downtown, and the flower baskets hanging from all the lampposts in the summer.
In general, Neea and Geoffrey seem to be getting along like best buds as I expected, while Pat is staying mostly quiet. When Neea starts talking about  growing up in Finland, the cultural differences and similarities with Canada, etc., Geoffrey chimes in that Finland is a place he's always wanted to go.
"Oh you should!" says Neea. "It's very beautiful."
My mother lets out a grunt and turns to Geoffrey. "Really? In twenty-four years of marriage I've never even heard you say the word 'Finland'."
"Well..." Geoffrey is muttering, clearly embarrassed, "I may not have mentioned it much but it would be wonderful to visit, I'm sure."
Teddy comes down from his room and joins us. I'm hoping that'll ease the tension. We do the introductions and I notice that he doesn't look as agonized by all of this as I thought he would.
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They sat around around the big dining room table and Neea was ladling Finnish beef and potato stew from a large tureen into wide, flat soup bowls. "We call it merimiespata, but in English it's called 'sailor's stew'. I don't know why. You'd think it should have fish in it, but it's beef. And it has beer. Lots of beer!"
Geoffrey laughed loudly. "Well, sailors like beer, I guess! Smells wonderful, Neea, and so does the bread!"
There was a loaf of Finnish dark rye bread, still warm from the oven, to go with the stew. "Darwin helped make the bread," said Neea. "She's very good in the kitchen."
"She is?" said Pat, sounding unconvinced.
"Oh yes!" said Neea. "It's been a good way for you to keep yourself occupied, hasn't it, Darwin?"
"Yeah, it's been good," said Darwin. "Hopefully I didn't wreck the bread."
"Don't worry, the bread looks delicious, lovey," said Geoffrey, plastering a thick layer of butter onto his slice.
"She never wanted to help in the kitchen at home but she'll do it for a total stranger." said Pat.
Neea couldn't ignore the comment. "But I'm not a stranger! Darwin knows me very well now!"
Pat changed the subject. "How old is Ted?" she asked, directing her question at Neea as if Teddy were the family dog.
"Eighteen," said Neea, "and starting his first year at college."
Darwin's mother seemed to consider this information but said nothing more. "Is it a bit strange for you, Ted," asked Geoffrey, "suddenly having a young woman in the house?"
"Yes!" said Darwin, smiling at Teddy.
"Not really," said Teddy.
"He's just being nice. He's totally freaked by it, understandably," said Darwin.
"I'm not freaked!" said Teddy. "OK, I was a little at first, I admit. But I'm kind of fine with it now."
"Kind of," said Darwin with a smile.
Pat was looking at some framed drawings on the wall. "Neea, you seem to like naked women," she said.
"Darling!" said Geoffrey. "That's a bit rude, don't you think?"
Neaa laughed. "It's all right," she said. "Yes, I suppose I do. I love to do life drawing, and yes, the models are often women."
"Life drawing," repeated Pat, disdainfully.
"What do you love about it?" asked Geoffrey.
"At first," Neea said, "the life drawing was just another part of learning to draw for meâtraining myself to see form and capture it on paperâbut then, I started finding interesting abstractions within the details of the figures and I started to love it on its own."
Darwin listened, fascinated. "It's cool that you can get deep into something and have it become something else that you didn't expect."
"Yes!" said Neea. "That's exactly right. And that's when it gets really interesting. That's when you really start exploring. Then you know you've found your passion."
"Hmm," said Darwin. "I think I need to find my passion."
"Well, you could come to a class if you wanted!" said Neea.
"Life drawing class? Oh, no. I'm just a doodler. I could never draw actual people. Stick people are my thing."
"Have you ever tried? You don't really know until you try. And then it's something you practice at to get better."
"No way. I'd totally embarrass myself! I'd rather pose for the class than draw in front of everyone!"
"Really?" said Neea.
"Oh yeah. No problem. I'm a pro at sitting still!"
"Well, I'm sure you could model if you wanted," Neea said. "They're always looking for models. But really, you shouldn't give up on drawing so easily. No one cares if you're good or bad. We all encourage each other. It's fun! You might enjoy it."
"I dunno. Maybe," said Darwin. "But uh, do the models get paid?"
"Of course," said Neea.
"Seriously?" said Darwin. "They get paid to just sit?"
Pat laughed sarcastically. "It's called 'figure' drawing. I think that means models with figures, Dar honey."
"Oh, the models can be any shape and size!" said Neea, ignoring the insult. "But you don't just sit there. You have to get into different poses. Our instructor is Mr. Veringa, and he'll ask the model to pose in different ways. Some of them are a bit tiring, I suppose, but not that difficult. If you're really interested I can ask him."
"Awesome!"
"Really Darwin," said Pat, getting annoyed, "that's just about enough."
Darwin shrugged. "What? It's nudity. It's not a big deal."
Pat snapped at her, "I think you've done enough to embarrass our family without taking your clothes off in public!"
Darwin rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. Everyone else was quiet.
Teddy squirmed in his seat. Darwin's mother was making this uncomfortable for everyone, but so was Darwin. Was that talk about posing nude for the art class just to goad her mother, or would she really do it?
Teddy thought about Gabby. Darwin seemed way more reserved while Gabby was sort of an exhibitionist. Darwin was pretty in her own way, he thought, but she didn't seem the type to call attention to herself.
But, yeah, Darwin is pretty, he thought, looking across the table at her.
When did that happen?
⢠⢠⢠â¢
Things settle down after the whole nude modelling thing. Pat eventually cools off while we finish dinner and then Teddy sneaks away after quietly tidying up a bit. About now, the conversation turns to the matter of where I should live while I get myself off meth. My dad sits up straight and takes a deep breath.
"Neea, I cannot thank you enough for this dinner and, even more, for all you've done for our Darwin. The way you've opened up your home... and your heart, to care for her is astonishing, and we'll be forever grateful for that, won't we Pat?"
Pat nods with some reluctance.
"Darwin has made it quite clear that she wants to stay here with you," Geoffrey continues. "Patricia and I obviously would want her to be home with us through all of this, wouldn't we dear? But we're very grateful for all the help you've given Darwin, and, if you're willing, we'd like to honour her wishes and have her to stay here with you while she recovers."
My dad sounds so serious, like he's reading my will or something, but that's the way he is. All jokes and bad puns most of the time, but when it's important, he's as serious as brain surgery. Anyway, there it is: the official seal of approval from my parents. I can stay with Neea.
I'm actually sitting here kind of stunned. I had absolutely no intention of going back to Kamloops with them but I was expecting a fight over it. If I had to spend one day back in that house with my mother I'd be looking for something a lot stronger than crystal meth. Like maybe cyanide. I've been bracing myself for a big scene today, but there was no way I was going to go, so this harmonious agreement is a total bonus. I lean in for a Dad-hug, pressing my face into the familiar smell and tweedy texture of his jacket.
Geoffrey goes on to discuss financial arrangements, but being my oh-so-English dad, he does it in the most circular and subtle way imaginable.
"Now, we won't let this be a burden on you, Neea," he says. "You and Teddy, I mean. And of course, we won't pretend to know what you'll encounter or what, or how much, it might, as it were, impact your situation and, I'm sure, neither do you so early in the process, so we needn't settle on a particular sum or, or schedule or anything of that nature, but I must insist that you let us contribute from this point forward but, also, to compensate you retroactively, from your initial involvement... surely."
Neea stares across the table at my dad, clearly wanting to agree with him but just as clearly having no idea what he's talking about and, honestly, how could she?
"You mustn't be out-of-pocket through all of this," Geoffrey explains.
Neea is still confused. "Out of pocket?" she asks.
"We'll pay you," says Pat, loudly, as if Neea is deaf. "My husband's trying to say, in his unique way, that we'll give you money so it doesn't cost you anything to look after our daughter."
Geoffrey nods. "That is the gist of it, yes," he says. "I'll write you a cheque to get you started and then we'll send additional funds whenever they're needed. Would that be all right?"
Neea says that's very kind of them and then everyone is glad to move on from the awkward topic of money. I have to say that even the awkwardness wasn't that awkward and, really, the whole dinner has gone way better than expected. My mother was rude and bitchy, naturally, but not half as bad as I thought she'd be. I even found myself trying to wind her up, just for a giggle. I said that stuff about posing nude mostly to freak her out, but also to mess with Teddy's head a bit.
I'm so grateful to Neea for all she's done and continues to do for me. How could I have been so lucky to meet up with her? I'm grateful that my dad understands my situation and has agreed to let me stay here, and that my mother has gone along with it too. And I'm also grateful that Teddy no longer looks at me like I'm a monster.
I guess I actually have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
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â D.B.