Chapter 4: Chapter 4: Bursting Into the Otherworld Reincarnation (Physically)

“Sorry. You have died due to a mistake. As an apology, you have been granted the opportunity to reinc-”

The young man’s right straight smashes into the self-important old man’s face!

“Hidebu!!!”

(T/N: An expression of pain originating from Heart-sama from Fist of the North Star.)

“What the fuck do you mean by ‘a mistake’?! Before you go on harping about reincarnation, just bring me back to life, you somewhat god-like geezer!”

The young man mercilessly tsukkomis the elderly man suppressing his nosebleed.

Young people nowadays often lose their temper easily.

No, more like, young people nowadays are more cool and disengaged, while it’s the elderly who lose their temper easily. But well, every age has its own “young people nowadays,” so let’s not delve too deeply into that.

“Despite knowing I’m God you still hit me?! Don’t you know I can withhold your reincarnation cheat?!”

“Sure alright, I don’t want it, so let me punch you one more time.”

“Oh god, NO!”

God says something that very nearly borders on a threat, but it seems to have rubbed the young man the wrong way, triggering him to begin displaying his shadow boxing skills.

Apparently this young man was a boxer when he was alive.

If things continue this way, God’s life will be at risk.

“You look to me to be the type that seriously thinks about getting stronger, am I correct? You’d like it, the reincarnation cheat. Since you highly appreciate the importance of effort, it’s the kind that ensures that you get stronger the more you train.”

“Mu......”

God’s words causes the young man to stop shadow boxing and start mulling.

God laughs at how gullible he is.

God’s reaction totally merits another punch to the face.

“Waaiiitttt a second on that reincarnation!!”

“Eh?”

But the instant right before the young man is coaxed, a new voice reverberates in this pure white space where only the two of them are present.

“My name might make you think me the god of thunder, but I actually am the god of thunder! Nice to meet you, I’m Takemikazuchi!”

(T/N: Takemikazuchi is the god of thunder. The last character in his name is the kanji for ‘thunder.’)

“Wh-, who are yooouuu?!”

A male god wearing a white costume has suddenly barged in.

The first god tsukkomis this arrival, but since he had already named himself, Takemikazuchi-sama gracefully ignores it.

“Young man. You must not so easily agree to an otherworld reincarnation. If you do, the total number of souls on this side would decrease, Izanami-sama who rules over Yomi would get flipping pissed, and the stress of us other gods would go through the roof at mach speed!”

“Are you SURE you’re Takemikazuchi?!?!”

The young man couldn’t help himself from tsukkomi-ing at the all too pathetic train of reasoning detailed by Takemikazuchi-sama.

This, too, is perhaps one of the negative consequences of the spread of the internet into Takamagahara.

This is a good example of why Omoikane-sama is seriously considering installing a firewall.

“Nn? If you are Takemikazuchi, then who’s that over there?”

“!?”

The elderly god shivers as the young man points at him.

The reaction is almost already enough as confirmation of a guilty conscience. It’s only natural that the young man’s eyes have turned disparaging.

“Ahh, that’s a bottom rank god that doesn’t even have a name. More like, at that level, it is closer to a spirit than a god, really.”

“Hah? Even someone like that can facilitate an otherworld reincarnation?”

“Well, since you are only a soul without a body, it’s easy to send you through the barrier. It’s much easier than a transmigration.”

“Seriously, how do you even know that kind of word......”

As it turns out, it is open for debate whether the self-claimed god is even a god.

To my dear readers, please be careful too when you meet someone who claims to be a god.

“Well, that sort of existence pretending to be a big shot is something that happens all the time. That’s how they deceive humans in order to gain their faith and power up from it. If the reincarnated person’s soul gets stronger, the multiplier of their faith also increases.”

“But I don’t think I would have a shred of faith even if I successfully reincarnated.”

“I don’t think it’s thought that far ahead.”

The already exposed self-claimed god is shivering in a corner of the white space.

Apparently that is the result of being exposed to a real god’s divine aura.

It’s reaping its just desserts, so both the young man and Takemikazuchi-sama ignore it.

“Well then, it’s indeed a pity what happened to you, so how about I grant you a blessing in your next life. As you won’t be going to another world, the effects won’t be that big though.”

“I had no intention of going to another world in the first place, so that’s fine with me. What are my options?”

Thus the two continue their conversation by themselves, having totally forgotten about the self-claimed god.

If it had at least appeared in the form of a loli, then it might have garnered some support. But it’s a grandpa, so no one cares.

“Umu. If you accept my blessing, you——”

“Yes?”

“——can get really strong at sumo.”

“WHY?!”

The too specific blessing evokes the young man’s tsukkomi.

Even if he can get stronger at sumo, as someone who was a boxer, the wall that he’d have to overcome to make use of the blessing is just too thick.

“You didn’t know? I’m the one who came up with sumo. When I was comparing strength with Takeminakata, we did it with sumo. I put in too much strength and accidentally ripped both his arms off, though.” 1

“What the hell, that’s scary.”

Some tellings say that Takeminakata’s arms were frozen and then cut off, but either way it’s still scary so it doesn’t matter.

“You don’t like it? Hmm, then how about being able to release a faint electrical current from your body?”

“How would that blessing be of any use in the modern world?”

Emitting electricity might sound somewhat convenient, but it could all too easily cause the breakage of home appliances.

Voltage can be surprisingly difficult to control.

“Can’t it be something normal, like having better luck in matches?”

“Sure it can.”

“It can?!?!”

Due to his name, the first thing that comes to people’s minds when they think of Takemikazuchi-sama is him being the god of thunder, but he is actually also a god of war.

Upping someone’s luck in matches is as easy as downing a cup of tea.

“...... Then let me go with that.”

“Sure thing. Well then, be well, young man. You will lose all memories of your previous life, but I will not forget you.”

(...... More like, please do wipe my memory.)

So prays the young man at learning the shocking patheticness of his own country’s gods.

?

?

?

“Amaterasu-sama, I’ve successfully prevented that otherworld reincarnation...... what’s the matter?”

Upon returning to Takamagahara, Takemikazuchi-sama finds Amaterasu-sama rolling on the tatami floor and groaning.

“...... I was banned from the internet by Omoikane, so I have nothing to do.”

“That’s...... Omoikane, what an inhumane thing to do!”

Takemikazuchi is angry on her behalf, but it was because Amaterasu-sama was practically hosting a wikileaks party on the bulletin boards, so it can’t be helped.

Currently, net literacy is gradually increasing under the strict supervision of Omoikane-sama.

“...... Oh, apparently you’re also banned from the internet for the while, Takemikazuchi.”

“WHAT?!”

Takemikazuchi-sama howls in despair.

Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.

1 Takemikazuchi was one of the chief delegates tasked with subjugating the terrestrial deities in order to conquer the mortal realm. One of the gods that he came upon was Takeminakata, who requested a strength comparison. The hand-to-hand bout of these two is considered the mythical origin of sumo wrestling. Full story here.