Do you think Kiaton/Kashton is going to sink? ð¤ð¤ð¤ð¤
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Despite the fact I feel like a mess and my heart is thumping like a maniac, for the sake of my empty stomach, I make myself go downstairs the next morning. I find my family in the kitchen. Dad is making breakfast for us.
While walking down the stairs, I glance at my reflection in the hall mirror and almost catch a heart attack. I look like a hobo right now. My hair is tangled all the way and the shirt I'm wearing is three times larger than me. I'm even surprised where I'm getting the energy of walking from. I haven't eaten anything other than since I got home yesterday.
"Mom look, a zombie!" Kat fake screams when she sees me. Both mom and I smack her on the head. Kat winces and sticks her tongue out. She's clearly still mad at me for standing her up yesterday, even though Grace drove her home. Not that I care what she thinks.
I still haven't talked to Ashton. He didn't try to reach me. As for my friends, I had over 70 missed calls with over 100 messages.
They were getting so annoying that I had to turn the phone off. I don't want to deal with anyone right now.
"Pancakes okay?" Dad asks me.
I'm not hungry, but I don't wanna disappoint him either, especially when he's making breakfast for us after ages, so I nod.
It's good to have him around. With all the insurance paid and having enough savings for our college tuition, dad decided to spend more time at home than work, especially when I'm leaving for college next year. I missed having him around. We all did.
"So I got a call from your school. They told me about the scandal and that you helped to find the culprits," dad says as he sets up our breakfast. "Why didn't you tell us about him before?"
I panic and look over to mom. She nods and turns to dad. "Actually Kiara told me about this a few days ago," she says. "We didn't want you to worry about such silly matters, so we didn't tell you."
"I'm sorry dad," I apologize.
Dad smiles and pats my head. "It's fine sweetie, just tell us next time. Maybe we can help."
I nod and we start our breakfast.
"Miles called," Mom tells me after a while. "He and Grace will come to check up on you later."
"Why? Did something happen to Kiara?" Dad asks.
"No," mom says almost immediately, which makes dad more suspicious. "You know the usual things of this age," she adds.
"More specifically boy trouble," Kat snickers. I glare at her.
"Boy? I thought you already broke up with Derek," Dad says and freezes. "Don't tell me it's that Andrew boy."
"His name is Ashton," I say. That doesn't assure dad even the smallest bit. Thankfully mom takes off the charge and changes the topic.
Later around noon, Miles and Grace come to visit me.
"You literally blocked us all out," Grace pouts.
"Sorry guys, I wasn't feeling myself."
"It's okay Kia, we're here now," Miles says and hugs me. Grace joins us from my other side. "Yeah, else friends are for?" I try my best to hold back the tears at it.
"You two really should've gone to that beach party," I tell them as I pull back.
"You want us to go out and get our asses drunk while you're here like this?" Miles shakes his head. "No way."
"Yeah, no offense Kiara but look like shit," Grace adds.
"I feel like one too," I tell her honestly. "I can't believe I've been betrayed the whole time."
"I'm sure Ashton has a good explanation," she tells me. "Maybe you should've let him explain first."
"What is there to explain?" My voice raises. "Partying without telling me? Fine, but faking the whole time? Not so cool."
Miles nods. "I never liked Derek anyway."
"Me neither," Grace says and looks at me. "No offense."
"No taken. But Ashton knew about it the whole time. But his highness didn't feel it necessary to inform it to his little subjects." I sigh. "But it's not like Ashton cares anymore. He has probably moved on already. He didn't even try to reach me after I left school."
No matter what Ashton said to me the other day, or how real it felt, I don't think he really meant them. It's not like he's my soulmate. He's free to fuck and leave whoever he wants, whenever he wants. Nothing can hold him back.
"If it makes you feel better," Miles starts. "Luca told me Ashton didn't go to the party either. In fact, Owen said no one has seen or heard from him after he went after you yesterday."
My memory flashes back to the parking lot yesterday when our eyes met in the rearview. He looked so helpless.
But that's maybe because he got stood up by a girl like me.
Me! A nobody.
I shake my head. Even thinking about him hurts now. I wipe the lonely tear off my face and smile. "So tell me something good."
Miles looks a bit startled but fills me up with everything that had happened after I left yesterday. Jason is elected as the student council president again. Asher has asked Cora to be his girlfriend and she said yes. Also, he is back in the baseball team and Cora was offered to cheer again but she didn't accept the offer.
I was shocked to hear that. "Really?"
"Yes, she said something about pompoms won't get her anywhere, she wants to focus on school," Grace rolls her eyes. Pompoms won't take her anywhere, that's what I told her once. I feel guilty for being the one to ruin her dream if it was really her dream in the first place.
"Oh, and Owen said the football coach has offered Ashton his old position in the team again," Miles says. "He apologized for mistrusting him last time. I think Ashton accepted the position again."
"Good to hear," I force a smile, avoiding the sharp pain in the stomach.
Grace notices the look on my face and rushes to change the topic.
"So," she says. "There's a party out tonight. And before you say know-"
"I'll love to go," I cut in.
"- and we don't get to live twice-" Grace pauses and looks at me. "You'll go?"
I nod.
"But what about your survival theory?" Miles asks. "No partying blah blah blah."
I chuckle. "Actually I was thinking about it lately. The whole theory feels like bullshit now. As Grace said, we don't get to live twice. I won't be a high school senior again. So why not?"
Grace squeals and engulfs us in a group hug. "We're going to have so much fun tonight!" Miles laughs at her reaction.
I laugh with him. For a moment I forget about everything else. No high school survival theory, no scam, no boys. And no Ashton Fellan.
After Miles and Grace left, I went inside my closet to change. The survival theory on the floor catches my eyes. I pick it up.
"What a stupid idea," I mumble. I know I shouldn't think like that. I owe it a lot. This theory was my only hope of survival. Who knows what would've happened if I don't come up with it.
But it's also true that this survival theory is only the thought of a high school freshman. A very lost high school freshman's.
What it said might not always be the truth but it was a hope. A string to attach the lost girl with her mortality.
"What shall I do with your survival theory?" I mutter as I gaze down at it. Suddenly, an idea pops in my head.
I bite my lips as a smile makes its way on my face. I walk to my desk to get some sharpies and glitter pens.
* * * *
The party is great, it's been two hours since we arrived and I don't feel like leaving yet. Miles and Grace, as promised, stayed by my side the whole time. Though she leaves us when Owen enters the living room.
He grins when he sees her walking towards him and whispers something in her ears. We don't know what it was, but it was enough to make her blush.
"They look so cute together," Miles coos. I can't agree more.
Our other friends came to check up on me. Nyako too. He tells me Ashton didn't come tonight. He's not even picking up his phone.
Anxiety takes over me. I feel like it's my fault that Ashton is MIA again.
I excuse myself to get a drink. I don't wait for their reply as I walk through the crowded hallway, which is the reason why I bump into someone.
"I'm so so-" I pause when I see Cora standing in front of me. "Oh it's you," She gives me a lip tight smile.
"It's alright," she says.
Then I remember I owe her an apology. So before she can walk away, I call her name.
"What is it?" She asks.
"I want to apologize for that day. It was rude of me to accuse you when it wasn't even your fault. That was so wrong of me."
Cora waves a hand. "It's okay I don't mind," she says. "At least you had an excuse to say what you said."
"But-" Cora cuts me by taking my hands in hers.
"Really it's cool, I forgave you," she smiles, though it lasted only for a few seconds. "But this doesn't mean we're friends again."
"I'll keep that in mind." I smile.
Cora takes a step back and turns around. Before leaving, she tilts her head towards me and says, "Just so you know I'm really sorry for what I did to you all those years ago," she says. "It was so childish and stupid of me. I guess I was just a bit jealous that my crush gave you more damn than me."
"Then you should know that Eric and I were nothing like that," I tell her, she deserves to know the truth. "We were like brothers and sisters. Though it was till you spread that rumor."
Cora presses her lips together. "I realized that too a little too late," she says. "As I already said, I'm sorry for making you go through all that shit. You and everyone else in this school who went through my wraths."
I don't know what has changed but I tell her, "I can't tell about others but I can assure you I forgave you already. If it wasn't for you I never would've met my friends. Moreover, I can't hold a grudge against someone who meant so much to me once."
Corner of her lips turns up. "Guess we're equal now."
I nod. "Yes, we are."
Cora says nothing more as she walks over to Asher who was waiting for her in the corner.
Natasha holds my gaze across the hallway and she nods at me with a smile when our eyes meet.
'I forgave you too,' I mouth, like our old habit.
She smirks. 'I know,' she mouths and walks away.
A smile makes its way on my face again. Guess that ends a huge chapter of my life. I found the kitchen soon. It's less crowded than the rest of the house. I take a soda can from the counter and drink it.
Almost everyone from school came tonight, Kat and her friends are also around somewhere. The party is open to everyone. Some notice me and congratulate me on the act we put up yesterday to catch Emery and his partners. They look relieved to be free from the scam at last.
Everyone is happy and relaxing. Everyone but me.
"Why did you have to do this to me, Ashton?" I mutter and lean against the counter.
"Screaming my name already?" Someone whispers in my ears, knocking the air off my lungs.
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