Chapter 25 â Under the Stars
"Mr. Stone will be needing your services again," his words keep replaying in my mind. I feel light-headedness creeping through the holes in my skull. I wish I hadn't left the utility room. "He's going to a family reunion this weekend, and his family and friends are expecting to see you."
It's Angel Grant they want to see, not me, I thought.
Paul can always find a better actress than me. Look for someone who looks like me, and pay her more than how much I got. My business with Hunter Stone was long finished, and I promised to never do something like that again.
I turned down Paul's offer and told him he can find Angel Grant elsewhere. He just has to open his eyes and be observant. Some girl out there might be the perfect actress he's looking for. I just can't do it again. Once is enough.
Besides, I got my pay. That was what I needed, and I am not greedy enough to take more than I need.
As usual, Paul, with his typical business-minded nature, gave me an irresistible counter offer but there's no way I'd accept it.
My legs stop when my gaze falls upon the space just outside our wooden gate. Damien is there, leaning against the backside of his car, his eyes focused on the ground, shaking like he is in some dilemma. For a moment, I thought of running back to the bus stop and returning to Max's.
What is he doing outside my house?
I hear my inner voice screaming inside my head, its intensity getting painstakingly stronger the more I try to make myself believe that his presence is merely a product of my surprised state of mind.
My cheeks glow red when he finally feels my presence, his gaze fixed on me. He straightens himself up, slips both his hands into his pockets after brushing his hair to his back. I can see hesitation surfacing from the look on his face. His only way to overpower it is to bite his lower lip.
Slowly, he walks toward me. I feel my legs glued to the ground, numb, cold and shaking.
"Won't you mind if I ask a little of your time?" he asks. He's only a meter away from me. "I promise it won't take long."
I nod stiffly.
"I have good news for you. I feel that it is best you hear it straight from me. Hayne's been sacked."
And I know it's his doing.
He continues, "Terminated for obvious reasons, but I promise you won't be dragged into this. I made sure nobody gets to know the real story. The administrators decided to let us march next week. They should, or they would have to put up with me for another year." He lets out a small laugh that eventually dies after he sees me glaring at him.
I couldn't help but marvel at how he can turn events so easily.
"I'm sorry for what had happened. Haynes deserves more than termination, but he's old, and he has no family. I could have sent him to jail, but the school interfered. They fear for our school's reputation so they just let Haynes off the hook. I'm really sorry, Angel." He sighs. His eyes look so sincere. "And I have to tell you that it wasn't me."
"I know." My mouth quickly opens without even knowing what I am supposed to say. "I mean..." I stammer as my face flushes, "I know you will never do such a thing to me."
"Listen, I know who did it, and I swear he got what he deserved."
"Who told Haynes, Damien?"
He shakes his head.
"Mike."
So it's clear. The rumors are true about Damien calling off his friendship with Mike.
"I did not expect he'd tell Haynes about us, about that thing."
"You told Mike?"
"I was an idiot. I'm sorry."
Deep inside me, I have already forgiven him. I have forgiven him the moment I heard the truth from Ray. It is a little upsetting to realize that doubt still clouds my opinion of him, that every time misfortune comes, it is him I easily blame... that I used to be so foolish to get easily swayed by my hasty judgment.
"You didn't have to call your friendship," I say, taking my eyes away from him. I feel my cheeks growing ablaze as the glimmer in his eyes screams more than forgiveness. I don't think it is necessary to put more weight on me than a friend who's been with him since childhood.
The edge of his mouth forms a slight curve, his head shaking as though in complete disagreement.
"I appreciate what you did, and I must admit that you made me feel so unbelievably important after you did all you can to terminate Haynes and to even punch Mike in the face. I just don't think I'm worth the effort, though, Damien." The butterflies in my stomach have gone berserk and the growing warmth on my cheeks is giving me all the reasons to just run straight into the house and find something to douse the fire. And yet, my legs are glued on the ground, immobilized by Damien's mere presence. If I were the Angel Mohr who used to completely hate Damien Etheridge today, I would have probably hit him square on the face out of contempt. "I mean, Mike's your friend."
"I just did what was right."
"And I thank you for that, but Damienâ"
"Why is it that everything I do for you is always wrong in your eyes? When will I hear something nice from you, Angel?"
What he just said sends bullets through my heart. I literally feel my saliva trapped my throat, blocking my airway.
"Damien.."
He steps a foot away from me, his head down.
"Maybe what I'm doing isn't enough... or maybe too much that you don't see the truth behind it anymore."
"I..."
He grins, a mixture of disappointment and pretense.
"What am I doing?" Damien looks like a man who's never won a battle his entire life, his face a picture of a wounded soldier who's lost his mother's keepsake in the middle of the field. "Maybe I just expected too much from this. Seeing you always disagree with everything I do just stings like freshly wounded flesh. Maybe I shouldn't have expected much. You will never change your opinion about me. What got into me to even think you'd like me? You hated me! You abhor me!"
"Damien..."
He shakes his head then looks up to me, his eyes devoid of the excitement and joy I just saw earlier.
"Am I expecting too much, Angel?" he asks. "You tell me, should I stop this? Because no matter how I try to think positively about this, you always gear towards the opposite direction. You make me think twice."
"Damien..." I look up the sky, focusing my attention on the stars that spread glow all over the sky. In all truth, I just want to conceal my tears. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"I should be the one asking you that," he counters.
"If this is one of your antics, then forget it. I won't fall for it. I've been through that."
He grins.
"You think I'm joking?" he utters in an offended tone.
"You always do," I answer. "You love to play jokes on me. I am clueless as to when you're genuine or not."
"Angel..." He steps forward, his arm about to grasp mine, but I quickly step back.
He goes on, his voice with a tinge of frustration. "I've always been true to what I feel for you. I know I've been a jerk in the beginning, but I only did that because I like you so much. I like how you blush every time you see me. I even love the way you insinuate fights with me. I don't know how it happened, but it's just like waking up one morning wanting to see you and knowing that not doing so would make me incomplete. It was when I realized what it was... I like you. What else do I have to do for you to believe me, Angel?"
I feel my entire body shaking, and tears fall unknowingly. His words pulled the trigger, and it hurt so much.
Why does it hurt? Is it because I know that what he says is true and that I'm guilty of not believing him?
"It's not about sex. I'm not after that," he adds. "You're not the type of girl who'd I'd just play around for fun. You're the serious one. It's you I need in a real relationship."
My airway starts to open up and release all the trapped air inside.
"I really have to say this, or this might kill me in my bed tonight," he says.
In all honesty, I can only see genuineness in his eyes. Am I being misled by my surging emotions into believing him? A huge part of me is screaming to believe every word he says, and I don't know why. Usually, I find that little voice that keeps me firmly glued to my indifferent opinion about him. Unfortunately, it isn't the case now. That little voice of sanity seems to have drowned in everything about him.
With the way he steps closer to me, his fingers gently touching the side of my cheeks, the uncanny warmth spreading all over my face, and the strong pounding inside my chest, I think I know where this is heading.
"I like you not the way a friend sees a friend, not the way an older brother cares for his sister, and most definitely not the way you think it is." His touch slides down to the back of my neck. "I am not used to doing this because I've never been serious with girls all my life. You're the first to make me feel like this." His voice tones down following the cold breeze brushing the sycamore leaves off its branches. The cold can't disturb my already freezing extremities, though. I am literally petrified by his warm touch.
"Quite shocking, right?"
He pulls me close to him. I lose all the power to shut myself away from him. I like the warmth his skin brings to me. The brush of his voice near my ear makes me shiver from unknown feelings. Both his hands land on the back of my neck, cupping it as if he can break me anytime. He tilts my head up so he can clearly see my puffed up and reddened face.
"You've got a lot of my firsts too, Angel," he whispers as he leans his forehead against mine, and his thumbs sweep the tears off my cheeks.
"Damien, I don't know anything about being with a man." I hear my voice cracking. With my eyes closed, I can only hear him breathing with his lips so near to me.
"I don't know how I should feel about this. I don't knowâ"
My speech is broken by the sudden and thrilling sensation of his lips on my warm skin. He gently brushes his lips to my cheeks until I am out of words. His slow kisses cause my heart to skip a beat. I couldn't keep up with the surge of battling emotions within me.
"One word from you will silence me, Angel. Just one word."
"I don't know, Damien..."
"Do you want me, Angel?"
His lips finally reach the edge of my mouth. Wanting so much to have his lips on mine, I feel so brazen for wanting something too big. I don't want him to think that I am expecting it.
"One word, Angel. One word."
I can hear my heart shouting the answer. My mind, too, sing it in both my ears. The tip of my tongue is already raring to slip it out, but I wonder what's keeping me from saying it.
Damien closes his lips to my mouth until I find myself drowning in the ecstasy that is Damien Etheridge. His kiss is slow, gentle, and unassuming. It's like the soft music of a guitar being played on a windy afternoon, like the serene waters flowing in a stream, like everything I feel inside me.
It isn't until he stops and I feel like wanting more when I know I have to say it.
My eyes are fixed on him.
"So, what now?" he asks.
"Okay," I finally answer. My thumb traces the outline of his lips when I find myself smiling. "I lose, Damien. You win."
He smirks as his face goes pink.
"I can't stop it anymore, and I blame you."
"That's more than one word, Angel."
I just know that it's the start of things with the Damien Etheridge, and the stars above us were the witnesses of that beginning.