I was hungry, but I couldn't shake the weight of everything that had just happened. While everyone began to prepare to leave for the dining room, my mind was still stuck on what I'd just learned. "Am I still dead?" I blurted out, my voice quieter than I expected, but the question rang clear in the silence. I felt aliveâI had a beating heart and a warm bodyâbut the weight of Luis' revelation gnawed at me.
Luis knelt before me, his face serious, and carefully placed a hand on my knee. When I didn't push it away, he finally spoke, his voice low and gentle. "No. When we were dying, the same thing that happened in the dungeon happened that day. Roots shot out and anchored my soul into my body... and you took a sliver of my soul in exchange for yours."
The words hung heavy in the air, my mind spinning as I tried to grasp their meaning. "I took a piece of your soul?"
Luis nodded, his gaze steady on mine. "The roots buried us, and when I woke up, you were gone, but you'd left that part of your soul within me. I tried to find you, but spells blocked me. Your mother's protections, most likely."
I stared at him in disbelief. This new revelation seemed to twist everything I thought I knew about my past. "My mother's spells..." I murmured, trying to process it. "I hope they didn't hurt you."
Luis shrugged. "She could've done worse. Instead, I ended up in San Francisco. I was still a child, no memories of what happened. But I was lucky. There were a few Phoukas in the area that helped me."
I touched my chest, my mind swirling. Part of Luis' soul was inside me. It felt like too much to comprehend. I looked up at him, feeling a sudden sharp ache of sadness. "Why didn't you tell me this the moment you met me again, Luis? Why wait until now?"
He pushed off the floor and shoved his hands into his pockets, leaning against the wall. "Because I knew you'd make that face."
"What face?"
"The one where you look at me like I'm a monster."
I stifled a laugh, despite the tension. "Luis, I can pull souls from people like I'm a succubus, I talk to ghosts, and... well, other stuff." I winced as I realized I was outing all my undead skills. "I wouldn't have thought you were a monster. We could've worked through this together."
Luis gave a crooked smile, though there was pain behind it. "Or maybe you would've told me to never see you again. It's easier when my prey stays still."
The implication struck me hard, and I felt a flicker of guilt. Maybe I would've been scared back then. Fourteen-year-old me, still reeling from trauma, might have rejected him. "Tell me one thing, Luis."
"What?"
"Were you involved with the men who chased my mother and me into that alley?"
Luis's gaze locked onto mine, his voice steady. "No. I sensed you once you were in my territory."
I exhaled, relieved. Fae couldn't lie. That much I knew for sure.
"I'm angry," I admitted, my voice shaking. "You've known this all along and didn't tell me. But you're still my best friend, Luis, and that's the only reason I'm letting it goâfor now."
He dropped to his knees and pulled me into his arms. For a moment, I stiffened, unsure how to react to the surge of warmth that passed between us. Then came that familiar feeling of affection, comforting like a blanket. But beneath it, something new stirredâpossessiveness, longing. It was startling. I pulled away quickly, my heart racing.
Luis's gaze was intense. "You're more than a friend to me," he said, his voice rough. The possessiveness in his tone sent another wave of surprise through me. What was happening? Had he truly desired me all this time?
Adrian's voice cut through the tension, saving me from drowning in the confusion. "It didn't happen like that for me," he said, his tone a little flat, like he was forcing himself to break the moment.
I pulled back from Luis, grateful for the distraction. "What happened?" I asked Adrian, still trying to settle the pounding in my chest.
Adrian leaned back, arms crossed, and flashed a half-smile. "I'll tell you later, Ace. There's too much going on right now." His nickname for me brought a small smile to my lips. Adrian had always had that effect.
"Promise?"
"Yeah. I promise." He hesitated, and then in a rare moment of openness, added, "I wanted to see you again after all these years. That whole attitude when we met again? It was just a smokescreen. The guys I brought with me thought you'd join our band."
"Band?" I raised an eyebrow, confused.
Adrian pulled a crumpled flyer from his pocket, offering it to me. It was an ad from a Korean entertainment company, looking for foreign musicians for an idol group.
I blinked, then laughter burst out of me, full and uncontrollable. "Oh, no!" I wheezed, doubling over. "I thought you guys were a gang! I thought you were gonna beat me up, and you wanted me to join a boy band?"
Adrian's face flushed with embarrassment. "Shut up. I thought you needed money. I figured if you owed me, you'd have to stick around."
I wiped away the tears of laughter. "Adrian, I swear, you're something else."
Adrian rubbed the back of his neck, looking down. "I missed you, that's all. Yeah, I've been doing fine, but I wondered about you. I wasn't close to Luis, but you wereâwell, special. When that van went after you, I couldn't let you disappear again."
I punched him lightly on the arm. "What you did was reckless, Adrian. I thought you were dead when you hit the pavement!"
Adrian winced. "Ow!" But then he stroked my hair. "I don't really want to get married, Ace," he murmured. "I'm nineteen. It feels... wrong."
"I don't want to get married either," I admitted, shaking my head. "But we'll figure it out. Maybe we can annul everything after the trials."
Dominic, always steady, kissed the back of my head. "We'll get through this together."
I found myself trapped, surrounded on all sides by my companions, and while it felt strange, it also brought me comfort. "Why are we huddled like this?" I asked, feeling a little overwhelmed by the closeness.
I realized then that we were all standing unusually close, almost huddled together. "Is it just me, or are we all getting a bit... crowded?" I asked, half-joking.
Erick, who had been quiet until now, spoke up. "I think the rootsâthe bondâare drawing us together. It feels more... stable when we're close."
I glanced at him, noting the regret etched on his face. The betrayal was still fresh, but there was a sincerity in his eyes that made the bond tug less painfully.
I looked around at the others. Luis gave a slight nod, Adrian shrugged, and Dominic smiled reassuringly.
"Maybe," I conceded. The idea of finding comfort in their presence was strange, especially considering the turmoil between us, but I couldn't deny the calming effect.
Taking a deep breath, I made a decision. "We should all eat together. Beth and Erick included." I glanced at Erick, noting his surprise. "I can't remove Beth as my banmuinen right now, and with everything happening, we need to at least appear united."
Luke, who had been observing silently, gave a curt nod. "I'll arrange it."
I escaped the friend cage I was in and headed out the door.
Just a day ago, I was living in a treehouse and eating convenience store hotdogs. I just had Luis, pretty much. Dominic was a friend, but I didn't see him except for work and an occasional lunch or play date. Adrian had been a blip in time. I was more involved with learning how to live on my own while also trying to remember that I had to pee standing up.
It had been a nice and simple life, even if it was a strange one. When we arrived at the dining room, and I sat down, I mulled over this. Was it a good thing that I'd been so isolated?
Yes, It made sense to keep my friend list short. After all, I was a magical being, and I had been due to change genders on my birthday. If I'd let too many people close to me, they would have found out. Plus, I was dangerous.
Dominic leaned in as we walked. "Penny for your thoughts?"
I offered a small smile. "Just trying to wrap my head around all of this."
"You're handling it better than most would," he said kindly.
"Thanks, Dom." I appreciated his support more than he knew.
At the dining table, I took a seat between Dominic and Luis. The atmosphere was awkward, but the aroma of the food reminded me of how hungry I was.
"Here," Dominic said, passing me a platter of roasted meat.
"Thanks." I filled my plate, determined to at least enjoy the meal. Let it be said that dire circumstances couldn't quell my appetite.
Luis was uncharacteristically quiet, his gaze focused on his plate. I wondered what was going through his mind but decided not to press him.
To our surprise, Regina and my aunt were seated at the far end of the table. They acknowledged us with polite nods. I returned the gesture, curious but too drained to inquire further.
Guards led Beth into the dining room and sat her down in front of me. Beth looked bedraggled. Her bun was loosened and messy and she looked like she'd been crying. I didn't feel sorry about that. She hadn't held the knife that had killed my mother - none of her clan had, but they were responsibleâall of them. Erick wiped a tear track from Beth's cheek, and my attention centered on him. Then he met my eyes.
I remembered how he'd been with me on the airplane. He'd bedecked me with a jeweled comb and had me cradled on his lap. That he was being so gentle to someone that caused the loss of my mother curdled my blood. I could hurt her by telling her all about how flirtatious he'd been on the plane with me. I could scour the idea that he professed to love me into her skin. She deserved it.
But Mother had always told me that ugliness stems from the heart. I had always been disappointing to her - the pinecone birthed from an orchid, so I could at least try to uphold her memory by not being ugly.
I could try.
"I've decided that I won't execute you, Beth." I put down my fork and sat back.
Luis pounded his knife against the table, and I put my hand over his hand in a warning. Hatred spooled from him through our link, and I pulled my hand away. I didn't want it to color me. Beth was grimacing at me as though I pronounced her doom.
"You probably want to know what I am going to do with you. I haven't thought it all through yet. For now, you'll continue in my court for appearance's sake. I agree with Luke on that." I nodded to Luke as he sat down at the table. With a grim look, he gave me a slight bow.
"As for later? Banishment maybe? I don't know. That seems like a great idea. I got along fine without seeing you for four years." I was talking to Beth, but looking at Erick.
I felt a twinging in the link as the peace I felt became unbalanced. The imbalance felt like the worst sort of vertigo, and my knife clattered onto my plate. Next, I saw that the branch that tied me to Erick grew spikier as though thorns were sprouting from it. I frowned at it and wondered what it meant.
Dom put his arm around me and whispered, "Are you okay? Something feels wrong..."
Just as I was going to tell him I was fine, Erick rose from his spot next to Beth. "No."
I widened my eyes with surprise. "No, what?"
The expression he gave me was hard and stubborn, and Beth's eyes filled with tears as she stared at him.
"I won't leave your side," Erick said.
Dominic's laughter filled the dining room.