Chapter Twelve

ALIANA

It’s been a week since Danny got lost and ended up in the basement.

He told me he was just exploring, but when the basement light blew out, he got scared. All he could do was curl up and cry.

Axyl has barely spoken to me since, unless it was about emergency plans. I learned that the safe room is in the basement, and that’s where the boys and I are supposed to go if anything happens.

Every night that Axyl doesn’t talk to me, I cry myself to sleep. He’s angry, and I wish he would just yell at me or something. Anything is better than this silence.

I feel like we’re over before we even had a chance to start. I promised myself last week that if things didn’t get better, I’d end it myself. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

But first, I need to take care of something. I can’t leave Axyl while we’re still fighting.

I go to check on the boys and see Axyl putting them to bed. That used to be my job, but Axyl doesn’t seem to want me near them right now.

So, I sneak into their room after they’re asleep and sit at the foot of their bed, watching them sleep like some kind of stalker. Axyl turns around and sees me in the doorway.

“What are you doing here, Aliana?” he asks, his voice cold. I fight back the tears that threaten to fall. I can’t cry now. I came here to say goodbye, then leave.

“I came to see the boys. I miss tucking them in at night,” I tell him.

“At least this way, they won’t end up missing,” he snaps back. His words sting, but they’re true. If it weren’t for me, the boys would be safe. They wouldn’t be stuck in this safehouse.

They’d be at home, where they belong. They wouldn’t be in danger, and most importantly, Danny wouldn’t have gotten lost.

Tears prick my eyes again, and I feel one slide down my cheek. It’s all true.

“I thought we could talk and work this out, but you just want to keep blaming me for Danny ending up in the basement. I’ll be in my room if you decide to pull your head out of your ass long enough to talk.”

With that, I turn and go to my room. I lay on my bed, crying, while I rub my belly.

“Mommy’s going to fix this, babies. I’ll make sure no one hurts you. You might not have a daddy, but you’ll always have a mommy.” My silent tears turn into sobs. Everything that’s happening is my fault.

I got involved with Alexander. I came back home looking for help. I should have just left town and never looked back. I could have changed my identity and started fresh. No one would have had to know.

Alex would have thought I was dead, and my brother and dad would have thought I kept my promise to leave the biker life. They never knew I planned to come back.

Now look at me, back in it and in love with a man who doesn’t want me anymore.

Once I calm down, I start planning when to leave. I know we’re a few hours away from our clubhouse, and Alex’s clubhouse is three hours from ours. I’ll leave when everyone’s asleep.

I can’t let the boys stay in a safehouse. They need to go back to school, be around their friends and family. I can’t let anyone get hurt because of me. My thoughts are interrupted when my door opens.

I turn to see Axyl standing in the doorway. “Did you finally decide to pull your head out of your ass? Might be a little too late for that now.

“Or did you come here to say more things to make me feel even worse than I already do?”

“Look, I’m sorry. My son disappeared when you were supposed to be watching him. There’s a huge threat out there and my mind went to the worst-case scenario,” he begins.

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, Axyl. You didn’t have to treat me like shit this whole week. I’ve apologized so many times. I just took my eye off him long enough to check on Murdock.

“How was I supposed to know he’d wander into a room I didn’t even know existed? You isolated me. You made me feel alone. You made me feel like shit.

“You wouldn’t let me near the boys except at dinner. Even then, you three sat at the opposite end of the table. How do you think that made me feel?

“I cried myself to sleep every night because I know this is all my fault! I brought Alex to the clubhouse. He wants ~my~ babies. But don’t worry, it will be over soon.

“At least I knew what it was like to love you, even if it was for a short time,” I rant.

“What do you mean it will be over soon? Aliana, don’t do anything stupid. I’m sorry, okay? I’m an ass! I shouldn’t have kept the boys from you. I shouldn’t have given you the cold shoulder.

“None of this is your fault. I love you, baby,” he says. “I didn’t mean to make you feel alone, like you had no one. You’ll always have me, Ali baby.”

“It’s too late, Axyl. You made your true feelings clear when you acted the way you did. I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble. Don’t worry about me or my babies. You worry about yourself and your boys.

“This will be over soon, and you can get back to your life without being tied down. Isn’t that what you want? You got divorced and then started a relationship with me shortly after. You made me believe that I had a shot with you.

“I fell for you, hard. Harder than I ever fell when I was just a kid. And what do I get in return? A shattered heart and soul. You ended us before we even had a chance to start. I’m exhausted. The girls kept me awake all night.”

With that, I flip over, bury my face in my pillow, and let the tears flow.

“Aliana, it’s not too late. I love you so damn much. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting this week. Please, don’t do what I think you’re about to do. Don’t go to Alexander.

“Let the club handle it. Please, baby. Please.” He pleads, climbing into bed behind me and wrapping his arm around my waist. His plea only makes me cry harder. He’s not making this easy. “We’re a family and we always will be.

“You, the boys, the twins, and me. I can’t lose you. The boys can’t lose you. They’ve already lost one mother. Don’t make them lose another.”

As if what he’s done this week isn’t enough, he throws that low blow at me.

“This is all my fault. I should’ve just stayed away and never come back here. I should’ve skipped town and started over. I should’ve never gotten involved with Alex. I should’ve done so many things differently.

“The club wouldn’t have my problems to deal with. I wouldn’t have gotten attached to you or the boys just to have it all ripped away from me. I have to do something, and this is the only way for this to end.

“He wants me and the babies and he won’t stop until he gets us. He won’t hurt me because of the girls.

“Well, he won’t kill me, at least not until they’re old enough to take care of themselves.” I say, sobbing harder into the pillow.

“This isn’t your fault, baby girl. I’m glad you came back. There are plenty of people who are glad you came back. Whether you came back or not, the club would’ve found out something was going on and we would’ve handled it either way.

“I would’ve personally come and dragged your ass back home. This war would’ve happened even if you weren’t involved. I’m sorry for how I acted with the boys.

“When I heard that Danny was missing, I lost it. I could only think about what would happen if he was taken by them. I know you sit in their room every night. I would watch you, watching them.

“I just freaked out. I’m sorry. I was just handling things the way I thought was right. Apparently, it wasn’t the right way.

Reaper and Trigger were giving me hell every night about how I was acting, and I guess it took you giving me a reality check for me to realize my mistake. This will end and not by you giving yourself up to that jerk.

“Talk like that again and I will bend you over my knee and spank that ass until it’s as red as a tomato. Those girls are not his. They are ours and that’s how it will be. This, us, isn’t over. It will never be over.

“I may act like a total jerk, but that’s just how I am. We work through shit.” Axyl says, wrapping his arm around my waist and rubbing soothing circles on my back.

“I love you so damn much, Axyl. You can’t do that to me. I’m a hormonal mess and you took those boys away from me and for what? It’s not like I deliberately lost him. He went exploring around the house!

“You isolated me, made me feel like crap. You made me feel rejected and unwanted. I can’t go through that again. What happens the next time you’re mad at me? I can’t take this each time you get angry.

“I need you on my side right now. Shit’s about to hit the fan and it’s going to happen faster than you realize. I know how he works. He’s going to attack soon. I can feel it in my gut.

“We’re not safe here. I know we’re not. I can just feel it. Something is going to happen, and soon. I just don’t know what.” I tell him.

“It’s going to work out. I know you feel that way. I’m sorry.

“I won’t put you through that again. I’m a jerk and I’m not going to say that I won’t get angry again, but I can promise you that I’ll work on not shutting you out again. I love you too, baby girl.

“More than anything. I talked to Westyn earlier today. He gave me hell for upsetting you, by the way, before telling me that they’ve been keeping an eye on Alexander and he hasn’t made a move yet.

“If you truly feel that way in your gut, I’m going to take it seriously. Your gut has never been wrong before, so why would it be now?” He says.

I turn around in his hold and bury my face in his chest, taking in his scent of leather and citrus.

“Exactly and I’m going to hold you to that promise, by the way, and what did you expect? You hurt his baby sister. You’re just lucky I didn’t call my mom or dad.

“Now shut up and kiss me.” I say, tilting my face up to look him in the eyes.

He doesn’t waste any time, his lips crashing into mine. This kiss is passionate yet filled with need. It starts slow and gradually picks up pace. He swipes his tongue on my bottom lip, asking for entrance, which I deny.

He tries again and I deny him once more. He groans and squeezes my ass, making me gasp in surprise. He uses my surprise to his advantage and plunges his tongue into my mouth.

Our tongues battle for dominance and I’m slowly losing, not that I’m putting up much of a fight. He soon wins the battle and explores my mouth with fervor.

Without breaking the kiss, I roll him onto his back and straddle his waist.

We break away from the kiss to catch our breath, and I kiss down Axyl’s jaw, to his earlobe, and nip it, causing him to groan out and thrust his hips upward.

A soft moan escapes my lips as I feel the pressure of his denim-covered hardness against me. “If we don’t stop now, I won’t be able to stop, sweetheart.”

“Then don’t stop,” I reply, pressing my lips back onto his. He takes hold of my hips and flips us over, so he’s on top, always mindful of my baby bump.

He tugs at the hem of my t-shirt, breaking our kiss just long enough to pull it over my head and toss it aside. Now, I’m left in only my panties and shorts. His eyes roam over my body, filled with desire. I instinctively try to cover myself, but he stops me.

“Never hide from me. You’re beautiful, and I love the way you look,” he says, his voice husky with desire, sending a shiver of anticipation down my spine.

I reach for the hem of his shirt, and he helps me pull it off, discarding it on the floor with mine. He leans down and takes one of my breasts into his mouth.

He alternates between sucking, biting, and licking, while his hand teases the other, causing my back to arch off the bed as I moan his name. The sensation of his skin against mine is one of the most incredible feelings I’ve ever experienced.

His hardness contrasts with my softness, and I moan in pleasure at the simple contact of our skin. This feels even better than it did when I turned sixteen.

“Axyl. Please,” I whimper.

“What do you want, sweetheart?” he asks, knowing exactly what I want but wanting to hear me say it.

“I need you. I want you to make love to me. Please,” I whisper, my voice barely audible.

“All in due time. I need to get you ready for me.” He hooks his fingers in the waistband of my shorts and pulls them off in one swift movement, taking my panties with them.

He brings his lips back to mine, his tongue exploring my mouth before he moves down my jaw, to my neck, kissing each of my nipples before moving further down my belly.

He makes his way down to my core. He positions my legs over his shoulders and showers my inner thighs with soft kisses, making me want to close my thighs, but he holds them apart.

He moves toward my core, looking at me through half-closed eyes as he licks me from my entrance to my clit.

He continues his assault on my clit, alternating between plunging his thick tongue into me and sucking and nibbling my sensitive spot. I can feel my climax building, and it’s coming fast.

“Axyl... I’m gonna cum.” He quickens his pace and inserts two fingers into me.

“Come for me, sweetheart.” That’s all it takes for me to let go. I see stars as I climax, and he laps up my juices like a man starved.

He continues until my body relaxes and I come down from my high.

He lays my legs down on the bed and stands up to remove his pants and socks before climbing back between my legs.

“You ready for me, sweetheart? I’ve been waiting a long time to bury myself deep inside you again.” I can only nod, my voice still shaky.

That’s all the confirmation he needs before he plunges into me until he’s fully inside. Pelvis against pelvis. He drops his head into the crook of my neck, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

“So, fucking tight Aliana. God, you feel so fucking good. I almost came like a teenage boy then.”

“So big, so full. You feel so good baby, but I need you to move now.” I tell him. He starts off with slow thrusts, pulling out until only his tip is inside before plunging back in. “Yes! Axyl!” I moan out.

“Shh sweetheart. You’ll wake the house up. I’m not going to last much longer. I swear you bring out the teenage boy in me. Making me want to finish in a matter of seconds.” He rasps out.

His movements start to get faster and more erratic. I know he’s getting close and so am I. He brings his hand between us and uses his thumb to strum over my clit, sending me over the edge in a mind-blowing orgasm.

Three more thrusts and he’s following me as my walls clench around him and milk him for everything he has. He roars out my name as he releases. “I love you.”

He rolls over and drops onto the bed next to me. Both of us are breathing heavily after the intense workout we shared.

“I love you too. Now, I’m tired.” I tell him, snuggling into his side.

“Get some sleep sweetheart. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.” He says, kissing the top of my head as he pulls the blankets over our bodies. I’m almost asleep when the sound of gunshots startle me awake.

I jerk fully awake and throw on my clothes as Axyl does the same before grabbing his gun and cut from the dresser. “Go get the boys and go to the panic room.

“DO NOT come out until one of us comes to get you. I’m going to make sure the coast is clear.” With that, he leaves, and I follow to get the boys and rush toward the panic room. I just hope we get there in time.