I WAS AT my locker when I noticed Holden walk inside. He was with his friends, a smile on his face as he talked. They all laughed at whatever he was saying but I could see right through that smile. There was sadness in his eyes that none of his friends could detect and it royally sucked that the sadness was because of me.
"Hey," I said once he was within earshot. "Can we talk?"
He left his friends and came over to me. He shuffled his feet nervously. "About yesterday..."
"I'm sorry," we both said simultaneously.
A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Dani. I'm sorry for putting you in that situation. A part of me knew you didn't like me like that, but I guess I got hopeful."
"Can we go back to normal?" I pleaded, realizing how much I missed his annoying yet joyous personality.
He nodded. "I'd like that."
"Good because I don't like being on weird terms with you." I pulled Holden in for a hug. "You know you mean a lot to me, right?"
"Wish I could say the same."
"Your confession last night said otherwise," I teased.
He laughed, his cheeks turning pink. "You got me there."
I smiled, glad he wasn't so down anymore. "I'll see you around, Rollins."
"I'll be sure to keep an eye out."
The bell rang and I walked to my biology class. I took my seat and waited for James to come. Ever since my epiphany last night I had d been itching to see him. I wasn't even completely sure if I actually liked him or not. My mind told me I didn't, but every other part of me screamed that I liked him. Mrs. Frazer entered the classroom and took attendance. James still wasn't here and I soon realized he wasn't coming. I could tell he was avoiding me and I was pretty sure it was because of the confrontation with Brenton.
"Today I will be giving back your unit tests," Mrs. Frazer announced. "For some of you I was very impressed, and for others I highly recommend getting a tutor." She was looking directly at me when she spoke and I felt myself shrink. If I didn't ace this test then my dreams of university were gone. She walked down the rows of desks handing students their test marks. I held my breath when she stopped in front of my desk. "Ms. Parker," she said in that snotty voice of hers. "I was quite surprised."
I felt my heart drop to my feet. "How badly did I do?"
She handed me my test. "See for yourself." Written on the top of my test in red ink was 87/100.
"Holy shit!"
"Language, Ms. Parker," Mrs. Frazer said sternly.
"Sorry." I glanced back at my test, unable to believe I scored as high as I did. I turned around to show James, but then I remembered he wasn't there.
Mrs. Frazer handed me another test. "I presume you and Mr. Hastings will be meeting up to work on your project so please give him his test."
"Sure." I put the test in my binder, but not before looking at it.
I cursed under my breath when I saw the massive 98/100 written on his test. I had never worked so hard in my life to get that grade, yet James scored highly with ease. I just wanted the school day to be over so I could go see him already.
~*~
"You shouldn't be here."
Holden placed his tray on the table and sat down. "And why not?"
I grabbed a French fry from his plate and nibbled on it. "Brenton will question your loyalties to him."
"I decided to sit with the sadder Parker."
I glared at him. "I'm not sad."
"Brent told me what happened."
I stole another few fries. "Interesting."
"I think what he did was a jackass move."
"Did you tell him that?" I asked.
Holden snorted. "No."
Wuss.
"Is he a good guy?" Holden spoke.
"What?"
"James. Is he a good guy?"
I nodded. "I think so."
"I shouldn't have judged him so quick, huh," he said in a shameful voice.
I rolled my eyes. "No, you should not have."
"Brent will come around."
"Doesn't matter. I want nothing to do with him."
"Really?"
I put down the leftover fries, losing any appetite I had left. "He knew the severity of his actions but he still went through with it. He's dead to me."
~*~
I sprinted to my car when school was over. I didn't bother to wait for Brenton and I drove straight home. I flicked on the heat and sped the entire drive until I turned into my street. I parked my car on the driveway and went over next door. I was about to knock on the front door but I stopped when I heard music coming from the garage. I slowly walked toward the garage, whose door was open. Inside the garage was James. He was dressed in a tank top and had sweat dripping down his face despite the cold weather outside. He had tools in his hands as he worked on the motorcycle I tarnished. "Knock knock," I said.
James jumped before shooting me an annoyed look. He lowered his music and folded his arms across his chest. "What are you doing here?"
"You've been avoiding me," I said, trying my hardest to not stare at his bare muscled arms.
"Doesn't seem like I'm too welcomed in your life."
I sighed, rubbing my temples with my fingers. "James, I don't care what anyone else has to say. I want you in my life."
He wrapped a towel around his neck. "You should go."
"No."
"That wasn't a question."
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me," I said in a firm voice.
"Too bad."
"James, I'm sorry about what happened with Brent, but I don't care what he has to say." I paused. "I want you in my life."
He took a step toward me. "I think it's in your best interest to leave."
Unable to contain myself, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips against his. This lasted for roughly half a second before I pulled away, mortified as the reality of the situation dawned upon me. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead of sticking around to see his reaction, I turned on my heel and sprinted back to my house. I didn't stop running until I was in the safety of my bedroom. I slammed the door shut and pressed my back against it, falling to my feet. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't make sense of the incident. I kissed him. I, Dani Parker, kissed James Hastings. I kissed him! Instead of feeling euphoric I was praying James would fall and hit his head hard enough to get long term amnesia. What the hell was I thinking? Was I even thinking? How could I do something so stupid like that? I knew I had a tendency to act on a whim, but this was some next level impulsiveness. We were hardly friends but I definitely ruined that now. God, I really was an idiot.
~*~
Hours had passed and I was still in the same position, hating myself for ruining the one good thing I had going for me. I probably would have spent all night there if someone didn't rudely open my door, smacking me in the process.
"You missed dinner."
"Go away."
"Are you mad at me too?"
Hearing the genuine sadness in my baby brother's voice made me feel even worse. I stood up and opened my door wider, letting him in. "I'm not mad at you."
"Pinky swear?"
I extended my pinky finger and locked it with his. "Of course."
He handed me a plate he was holding in his other hand. "I brought you dinner."
I accepted the plate from him, thankful he saved me from making an awkward trip downstairs. "This is why I love you."
He made a face, wrinkling his nose. "Don't thank me. It's meatloaf."
"Oh." Yup, there went my appetite.
Alex wrapped his little arms around my waist, taking me by surprise. "Please don't be mad anymore, Dani."
I ran my fingers through the top of his messy brown hair. "I'll try not to."
"Also." He looked over his shoulder to make sure Brenton or Mom weren't there. "I like James."
I forced a smile on my face, despite how sick I felt at the thought of James. "Good to know."
Alex gave me another hug and then scampered off to his room. Once he was gone I shut my door and began to eat. Mom definitely did not possess the God-given gift Niko had when it came to cooking, but I was starving so I couldn't complain.
I was preoccupied with poking and prodding the dinner with questionable edibleness when I heard something hit my window. I was far too embarrassed to see James after what had happened, but I didn't want him throwing another snow globe and shattering my window again. I took in a deep breath before opening my newly replaced window.
"That's some sturdy glass," he remarked. "Guess no more birds will be breaking your window anytime soon."
"Can I help you?"
He feigned a wince. "I think I got a frostbite from that coldness."
"Goodnight, James." I reached my arms up to pull my window down.
"Can we talk?"
"We are talking."
"Don't be a smart ass, Dani." He stared right into my eyes. "Can we talk about what happened?"
I felt myself melt under his powerful gaze. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me," I blathered. "I have no idea why I did that. I was just upset about my mom and brother and how we weren't talking andâ"
"Dani?"
"Yeah?"
"It's fine."
I let out a huge sigh of relief. "Really?"
"Don't worry about it," he assured me.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
I felt like I could finally breathe again. I was so scared James would never want to talk to me again after that incident. Unwilling to let the conversation die, I continued talking. "Why weren't you at school today?"
"I had some work that needed to be done."
"Were you avoiding me?" I blurted.
He shrugged. "Partially. But I was also meeting a mechanic for my bike."
"How'd that go?" I tried to keep my voice levelled but inside I felt a part of me sink knowing he skipped school to avoid me.
"Too expensive."
"Are you going to fix it yourself?"
"Guess I have to."
"How long will it take?"
"I'm hoping no more than a month."
"We got our tests back in biology," I said.
He rested his arms against his window frames so that they were dangling outside. "How'd you do?"
I swiped my test off my desk and held it up for him to see. "I got an eighty-seven!"
He smiled at me, making my heart melt. "That's incredible. Good job."
"I also have your test."
He arched an eyebrow. "How did I do?"
"Who knows?"
"Can I have it?"
"On one condition."
"That doesn't sound too promising."
"I'll only give your test back if you stop avoiding me."
He pretended to contemplate my proposal. "Well, I guess I won't be needing that test back."
"James!"
"I'm kidding," he said with a laugh. I couldn't help but admire it. He had such a captivating laugh, I wished he'd do it more. "Stop staring at me like that," he snapped, breaking me out of my trance. "It's creeping me out."
"I'm glad we're talking again," I admitted.
"Me too," he agreed.
I was about to talk some more, but I was interrupted by my own yawn. "What time is it?"
"Time for you to sleep, piggy."
"How am I a piggy this time?"
He jutted his chin at something behind me. "Is that meatloaf just a late-night snack?"
"It's yours if you want it. My mother is an awful cook."
He grimaced in disgust. "No thanks, I'd rather starve myself."
"Are you coming to school tomorrow?" I asked.
"Only if you give me my test back."
"Sounds like a plan."
"Goodnight, neighbour," he said.
I smiled at him, feeling my heart soar at the thought of seeing him tomorrow. "Goodnight."
~*~
Spotting the auburn locks from down the hall, I walked and stopped in front of her locker. Amber was too busy taking out her notebook to notice me. "Hey," I said.
She looked at me with surprise, probably not expecting me to reach out to her first. "Haven't seen you in a while."
"Sorry, I've been so caught up with other things."
She gave me a concerned look. "How are things with Brenton?" When I raised my eyebrows she smiled sheepishly. "Holden told me what happened."
"Well I'm not speaking to him, nor do I plan on it anytime soon."
"You know Brent, he probably regrets it now," she defended him, as per always.
"Doesn't matter to me. What's done is done."
Amber sighed, but she didn't say anything. We walked to biology in silence. I felt butterflies in my stomach at the thought of seeing James today but I snapped out of it. He clearly wasn't interested in me, so I had to keep my feelings suppressed. "Dani?" I snapped out of my thoughts of James. Amber had her hands on her hips, annoyance all over her face. "Weren't you listening to a word I said?"
"Sorry."
"Sorry won't cut it."
"What if I told you I wasn't paying attention because I was thinking."
"About?" she huffed.
"A boy perhaps."
"Oh my God!" Amber squealed, uncaring of the looks other people were giving her. "You have to tell me! Who is it?"
I glanced around to make sure he wasn't here before confessing to Amber. "A certain biology partner of mine."
"Shut up! You like Jâ"
I clamped my hand over her mouth. "Could you be any louder?"
She let out another squeal and pulled me in for a bear hug. "This is so exciting! I'm so happy for you! You two are going to have the cutest babies!"
"That's enough, Amber."
"Have you told him yet? Have you two kissed? Did you go out on a first date?"
"No, no, and definitely no. No one knows except for you." I didn't feel the need to tell her about yesterday's fiasco mainly because I was far too embarrassed to relive that moment.
"This is so exciting!"
I rolled my eyes at her peppiness. "You said that already."
"Shut up and let me be happy for you."
I shook my head at her excitement, but deep down I was pleased someone else supported my feelings for James. We entered the classroom and I instantly lit up upon making eye contact with James, who was already seated. Amber smirked at me as she walked to her seat. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't get rid of the stupid grin plastered on my face.
"I believe you forgot to give back something that is mine," James said as I sat down.
"And what may that be?"
"I know you're dumb, but you're not that dumb."
I rolled my eyes and gave him his test. "Next time just switch brains with me prior to the test."
He frowned as he skimmed over the stapled sheets of paper. "Man, I really thought I got perfect."
"Okay show-off, that's enough."
"Sorry I don't aim for mediocrity like some people," he countered.
"Back off, it's the highest mark I've ever gotten in this class," I grumbled.
He flashed that heartwarming smile of his. "I'm proud of you."
"It's only because I had such a great tutor."
"Perhaps you should give this great tutor a gift."
I grinned. "Maybe I should."
"I heard this great tutor really liked the burger he tried last week," he continued.
I cocked an eyebrow. "Even with the tomatoes?"
"Treat him to another burger sans tomatoes and I'm sure that'll suffice."
I beamed at him. "How about today at lunch?"
"I'm sure he would be thrilled to go," James answered with a grin.