Chapter Thirty-Seven

Daniel POV

The dinner went by and soon we were ordering dessert. "I'll get your order." The waiter says. I glance at the menu, desert.

I can't help to think back to when she told me.

"Lollipop, be a dear and grab the pudding." Mom asks in a way only she can. Lindsey gets up and heads to the kitchen. I push back my chair and follow her. Something's wrong. I just know it. I stuff my hands into my pockets, "Lindsey," she turns around and looks at me, the way she always does and I have no idea how to feel about it. "Are you alright?" I ask, frowning down at her. Her eyes have a soft glaze across it and the way she's looking at me makes me unsure.

"No, I, gosh, how do I say this?" She asks, and I frown even more. I can't remember a time I saw her this uncertain. Then she smiles at me, "She's lovely." I assume she's talking about Abby. She looks at the door, everyone still chatting behind it. Good Taylor hasn't attacked Abby yet. I smile, "She is."

"You never mentioned her before." She says, sounding slightly broken. I want to wrap her up in my arms and make her feel better. But I can't, I was horrible. She was drunk. I was drunk. And in 6 weeks I haven't had the nerve to call her. Even though I wanted to so many times. Just to talk. To explain.

But then Abby came along. And when she didn't call, I assumed she's moved on. I shrug, "You weren't here." Lean against the wall. She doesn't respond but I see her watching me very carefully. I push off the wall and walk to her, "Why are you here?" It takes her a moment, but she settles on a lie, "I wanted to see William, tell him something." She walks to me, meeting me halfway.

"No, you didn't even know he was going to be here. Why are you here?" I ask again. She doesn't respond, "What is it, Linds?" She looks over her shoulder when we hear Abby laugh. She looks back up at me, "Are you happy?" I suck in my lip and cast my eyes up to the ceiling. Am I happy with a girl I met four weeks ago after wishing I had Lindsey in my arms? Am I happy with the red-haired girl who is taking my mind off of the beautiful blond standing in front of me? Maybe she can be more than that one day.

"Yes, I think so." I say looking down at her. "That's good." She smiles. I watch as she bites her lip, and I want to kiss her, she looks down for a moment then she looks up at me and takes my hands. "Would you pass on the message to Will?" I nod, "Sure, Linds, but why don't you tell him yourself, he's just in the other room."

She bites her lip again, and I just wish I could grab her and kiss her, but I don't. She's nervous. And Abby, of course. She lets go of my hands and walks to the door, she's planning her escape. This must be huge. Is she engaged to that guy again?

"How do I say this? This is so bloody hard." She mumbles, running a hand through her hair. My heart pounds as I think of her on the night of Taylor's part. Besides the desire for her irritation is building up inside me. "Spit it out, Linds, you're scaring me." I snapped, walking to her. It's true. Is she dying? Is she in trouble? What did she do that would freak her out like this?

She steps away from me like she's avoiding me? What did I do? "If you get the chance, tell Will he's going to be an uncle." I'm stunned for a moment, shock running through my whole body. She hurries out the door and calls out something about being tired. I reach out and grab for her hand, "Lindsey, wait." She pulls free and heads to her house.

She's pregnant? What did she do? Anger runs through me. But then. She's pregnant. I count back to Taylor's party. Around 5 weeks. It was me. I recall hesitating that night. I forgot something. I knew I did. But she was there. I run a hand through my hair. I slam the counter before bolting out the door and across the street.

I grab the hidden key and unlock the door. "What the hell?" I ask, standing in front of her. She looks so small. I need to close my eyes for a second to think of something else before my mind wanders. Her eyes snap open, "Daniel, how did you get in here?" I roll my eyes, "This is my second home, I know where the hidden key is outside." She glares at me, "Get out." I shake my head, "You can't drop a bombshell like that and just leave."

She gets up from the couch, "Well, I did." She pushes past me and heads to the kitchen. I follow her, irritation building up. "Why did you leave?" I grumble. She stops. "I saw you with Abigail, happy and... and I realised I couldn't ask you to be with me. I already tried to forget us. I can't be so selfish. I left you so you could be with her." Do I really look that happy with Abby? Maybe there is more to us than I thought.

Then something else registers. "You knew? You knew we were together that night and didn't say anything?" I ask. She did remember? Then why did she leave? My heart aches at the thought. She turns to face me, "You knew we were together?" I feel the pain and guilt I felt that morning come back, "I thought I took advantage of you while you were drunk." "I thought you were too drunk to remember." She says softly.

I look into her eyes, "I could never forget that." I reach out and cup her cheek in my palm. She leans into my touch and closes her eyes. I was about to lean down and kiss her when I remember Abby. She's a nice girl and deserves better. Then another thing. How long has she been keeping this from me?

I drop my hand and her eyes open, "How long have you known about my baby? How long were you going to keep it to yourself? You must be what? 5 weeks? And you didn't tell me?" I feel the hurt and anger rushing through me.

"I'm six weeks along." She says calmly. "I found out earlier today, Daniel." She adds. I shake my head, "No, I don't believe you. If you could keep quiet about remembering our night together then you can keep the news to yourself as well." I know I did too, but I didn't wait weeks before telling her about Abby or anything as big as a baby.

She shakes her head, "I didn't know. The test is still in the bathroom if you'd like to see." She says, anger clear on her face. "Why don't you go back to your date? They're all probably wondering where the pudding is anyway." I shake my head, "I'm not leaving." She rolls her eyes, "You don't have to be here. If you want to be the kid's father, fine, but don't expect me to explain myself to you. Like I said I found out today and told you. Believe me or don't, I don't care."

I don't move. Do I believe her? Has she ever lied to me before? Up until now, no. She pushes past me and heads to her room. I'm frozen. I'm having a kid.

As we drive home Abby is blabbering away next to me. For a moment I wish it was Lindsey sitting next to me. We can just drive. No talking. Just driving. Abby just never stops talking, like she's afraid of the silence.

We finally arrive at the house I hurry around and open Abby's door. As I open the door I spot the light in the nursery still on. I check my watch. It's probably time to put Aiden to bed. I look up and spot a figure moving in the window.

She pulls me up the steps to Levi's room. The room is bare when I step inside. He moved into the guest room over at my parent's place. "What am I looking at?" I ask, irritated, not at her but at everyone's lack of enthusiasm over our good news. "I thought we could turn this into the nursery." I watch as Lindsey's face lights up. My heart pounds against my chest. I have to remind myself that I have Abby. I like her a lot. And I'm not going to throw away what we have because I have a slight flutter in my chest every time Will's sister, who happens to be the mother of my child, opens her mouth and starts talking to me. "See, it has a nice large window looking out at the garden." She pulls the curtains open to reveal the neglected garden outside.

She points to the right wall, "And the crib can be set up here," she then points to the opposite wall, "And the changing table here." The irritation leaves me bit by bit as I watch her run around the room to show me what she's thought of. Maybe the other people don't matter? Maybe the fact that we are here, discussing the baby's room, and not other options, is all that matters. Just her and I. Us against the world.

She hurries to the closet and opens it up. She looks at it for a moment, then, "There's more than enough space in the closet for all the baby things we'll need." She comes back to face me, "What do you think." I take a second to look around the room and try and see what she's said. I then look down at her, "It's brilliant." Without thinking I pick her up off the ground and spin her around, happiness overflowing me at the moment. I set her down in front of the window and standing beside her, "And here we'll have an old rocking chair." She looks up at me, "It's going to be hard to find an old rocking chair." I shrug, "We'll settle for a new one then."

I take her hand in mine and feel completely happy. This isn't exactly how I pictured life at this point, but it is perfect. "It'll be perfect." She whispers. We watch as a few birds fly past the house.

I let go of her hand, "Let's order something. We can sit up here and plan the room some more." She nods, "Sure, I'll grab a blanket." We both leave the room. I go down and call the pizza place and order us each a pizza. I hear Lindsay dropping something and run upstairs. When I reach Levi's room I see her standing over broken glass. She looks up at me, "I just wanted to-" I don't let her finish, "Stay right there, I'll go get something to clean this up with." I run back down to grab a broom.

I start sweeping once I reach the room again. "I'm sorry." Lindsey says crying. I drop the broom and wrap my arms around her. "It was an accident." I kiss the top of her head. I feel her tightening her grip on my shirt. I pull her tighter to me and wait for her to calm down. I pull back slightly to see her eyes, "Are you alright?" She nods and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

My eyes flash to her pink-red lips. I quickly look at her eyes. It seems like everywhere I look I get into trouble. First I want to kiss her. And now I'm captured by her eyes. I wish I could look away. But I can't. for a moment I wonder if she knows what she does to me when she looks at me like that.

The doorbell rings. She's the first to pull away completely, "You should go get that. I'll clean up here." I almost stumble out the door when I look over my shoulder at her.

The rest of the night was an endless conversation. But there were times where we just sat. Silent. No need for talking. We planned the nursery and when everything needs to be done. Lindsey fell asleep in the early morning hours and I watched her for a while. Until I realised how weird I was being. Before I went to sleep myself, I moved a hair away from her face and looked at her one more time. I lean down and kiss her temple. She stirs slightly and I freeze, inches away from her face. She doesn't wake.

I catch myself looking at her lips again. Before I do something I might regret I move to the edge of the blanket she got off her bed and turned away from her. Before I go to sleep however I remember that my best friend is coming home and he's going to kill me.

Abby keeps talking and talking. We enter my room. I stay in the door, leaning against the frame. It drives Abby crazy, and not in a good way when I lean against things. But I didn't care. And it looks like tonight I'll get away with it. Finally, I scrape up the nerves to say something, "Abby." She stops and turns to me.

"I need to ask you something." She smiles. "I knew it. I knew it since we left the restaurant. You were so-" "You're kind of ruining it."

"Now, hold on mister." She crosses her arms across her chest and I can't help the slight lap in composure when my eyes slip to her breasts before back up at her eyes. It doesn't seem like she noticed. "You can't ask me to marry you. There's still a lot of things I don't know about you." I want to interrupt but she just keeps going. "Let's start with your closet. I haven't seen the inside. It says a lot about a person you know." Images of the half-naked woman plastered on my door flash in my mind. I rush over to the closet and lock it, putting the key in my pocket. "I'd rather you not." She smirks, "Being secretive are we?"

She moves to the drawers. "Abby, please." Her hand hovers over the top drawer. She smiles, "How about this one?" Her hand moves to the second one. I shake my head. She goes down to the third one. She doesn't ask, she just opens it. My heart hammers in my chest.

She starts digging around and I finally find my voice, "Abby-" I stop talking when she pulls out a pair of lace pink panties. She looks up at me, "What's this? Or should I ask who's it is?"

Lindsey's beautiful face comes to view the next morning. There's a slight pounding in my head. Just as I was about to push away the feeling a horrible thought came to mind. What if I took advantage? If my head was pounding hers must be too. What if she wasn't fully in control last night?

I sit up and turn away from her. "What are you doing here?" I wait for her to answer me. If she knows what happened, it's fine. Then this isn't a mistake. Then I can sweep her up into my arms and kiss her the whole day.

If not. Then I took advantage of her. I should never have done it. Not while we were drinking. That's not how it's supposed to happen. That's never how I imaged it to be with us.

I hold my breath as I wait for her to answer my question. "I-" She stops for a moment, I close my eyes and hope she can answer me. My heart drops at her next words, "Don't you remember?" I bite my lip. She doesn't know. She can't remember. How could I have been such an asshole? I hadn't even noticed she was that drunk.

The silence rings in my ears with the faint background noise of Lindsey getting up and getting dressed. It takes everything in me not to turn around and face her. But I am the monster. I knew she was fragile. I knew she was still dealing with her parent's loss. I shouldn't have taken advantage.

I hear the faint sound of the door closing and let out a breath. I reach down and pick up the pair of pink lace panties she left behind. I stare at them for a moment, letting last night play out in my mind one last time before I lock it away for good.

I stand up and shove the panties in the back of my drawer, just like I shoved the memories of last night in the back of my mind where I can't reach without trying.

This was for the best. If she won't remember, then neither will I.

"Abbs, please, just stop for a second." She shakes her head, "I'm hoping that you are going to say something like you like wearing them. How crazy is that." She takes a breath, "But I know. I know what you're going to say. It's hers, isn't it? It's Lindsey's." I nod, not wanting to upset her too much.

She throws the panties on the floor in front of my feet, "How long have you had them? Is it a recent encounter you had?" I shake my head again, "No, it's from the one night we spent together. Before I met you."

She shakes her head and looks at the light. She always does that when she's mad. I shut my eyes for a second and wish we were back at the restaurant. "And you kept it?" Her voice penetrates my thoughts. I open my eyes and just look at her. "Do you love her?" I don't respond. Because honestly, I don't know. And any answer I will give now, will be wrong. I know.

"You know, I asked her if she thought you loved her, almost a year ago." She says, bitterness in her voice. "She assured me that there was nothing between you two." I glance at the panties. "Clearly she had no idea what she was talking about." My head spins at the thought of Lindsey telling Abby there was nothing between us. Did she really feel like that? Did she just tell Abby that? Did she lie to her? Does she feel something for me? And what if she does? How do you feel? I want to yell at the voice in my head, "I don't know. "

"Don't ever talk to me again." Abby says through tears she's trying to hold back. I grab her wrist before she's out the door. "Abby wait." She pulls free without looking at me and a few seconds later I hear the front door slam shut.

I pick up the panties and stuff them in the back of the drawer with the ring in its softbox.