Chapter 15: HUGE X3: Chapter 15

Standing at the bar, in a row, they look magnificent, and I feel like absolute shit. For a moment I wonder how the hell they found me, then I remember that Bryan and Darryll had classes together, and I’m immediately furious.

How pathetic must he think me to phone a friend to come and rescue me? It’s embarrassing. All I wanted was a moment to take what I needed and I can’t even get that. The music is so loud that it’s pointless any for us to try to say anything, although I can tell they want to.

I look them over, wondering if they fought after I left. I can’t see any bruises or grazes and the fact that they’re here together tells me that they can’t have fallen out too badly. I’m relieved, but not enough for it to overshadow my anger. I stride towards them but as I get close I go around, snatching up my purse and heading towards the door, without saying a word.

“Katy,” Bryan yells and I hear their footsteps following me.

As soon as I’m in the lot I realize that I have absolutely no plan for what happens next. I’ve drunk way too much to consider driving and it’ll take a while for a taxi to come and pick me up. The only option I have is to walk.

I start toward the sidewalk but someone catches my arm, holding me firmly. It’s Bryan.

“Get your hands off me,” I slur.

“No,” he growls. “I’m not letting you go anywhere.”

I struggle against him but he grabs me and tugs me against him. “Don’t.” I push against his chest but he’s so damn strong that I can’t get away. He’s breathing hard and so am I. It’s like we’re both wound too tight and need to let go at any second. I’m fraught and it scares me.

“You need to stop,” he says firmly.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I shout. “You chose to be practically nothing to me for years. Now all of a sudden you want to take care of me. I don’t need your pity, Bryan. I don’t want you to think that you’ll step in now to give me a few good months before I die, okay?”

He goes totally stiff against me, as though what I said has frozen him into a statue. I’m still panting and pushing.

“That’s what you think I’m doing?”

“Well, isn’t it? Why now, Bryan? Why now when you’ve held back for so long.”

“Because I couldn’t take it anymore, Katy,” he shouts. “Because I’ve torn myself apart trying to do what I thought was best for everyone.”

I look up at him, still so damn angry and hurt. He takes my face in his big hands and holds me tightly, not letting me look away, even when his stare feels too much for me to bear.

“I love you,” he says fiercely. “I’ve loved you since that moment you walked into the Red Devil wearing your little blue shorts and told me that you’d always secretly wanted to be Wonder Woman.”

My heart speeds as I remember that night. He’d made me laugh so much with his silly jokes, but I was with my girls and we’d just been up for some dancing and flirting. I wonder what would have happened if Bryan had kissed me that night. Would we still be together? Would we have weathered all the storms that life might have thrown at us? Would he be with me to face this next chapter and whatever that might mean for my future?

I don’t say anything and his expression turns hurt. “Say something,” he says.

I shake my head against his hands. I don’t know how to tell him how I feel without crying. And I can see Jason and Austin within earshot. How did I get myself into this situation where I find that I love a man who loves me too and still I don’t see a way for us to be together? My heart is his, but it belongs to his brothers too. If I admit that, it’s going to change everything for us. But I can’t just pretend that it isn’t the case.

“I know you feel the same way,” he says. “Tell me.”

“Bryan,” Austin says in a warning voice, his expression more worried than I have ever seen.

“Stay out of this,” Bryan shouts, still gazing down at me as though I am it for him.

“We can’t,” Jason says. “This isn’t just about you.”

“I know, okay. I know that better than anyone,” Bryan growls.

“What do you know?” I ask him.

“I know you care about my brothers too.” He glances at them and then back at me. “I know you. You wouldn’t have been doing all this otherwise.”

I nod my head and then look down at my feet, feeling totally exposed. Bryan tips my chin until I have to look him in the eyes again. “You think I want you to choose?” he asks.

“Well, don’t you?” I’d been so damn certain that Bryan was mad at what was going on between me and his brothers that I hadn’t stopped to consider what might happen if he wasn’t.

His green gaze is piercing. “You’re my girl,” he says. “But I love my brothers as much as I love myself. I couldn’t ask them to stay away from you when I can see how happy you make each other. I know you’re going through some stuff right now, but I also know that you, of all the girls I’ve known, are the one that knows your own mind the best. You may feel out of control, but through all this you’ve been making the decisions that you’ve needed to in order to get through. We want to be here for you, Katy. All of us.”

I look across to where Austin and Jason are standing with their hands stuffed into their pockets, waiting for me to agree. I’m in Bryan’s arms and it feels so right, but also like I’m missing something.

When I was a kid and mom had her first relationship after my dad left, I’d asked her if it was possible to love more than one person. I’d thought that maybe she’d never loved my father, but she told me that she believed it was, and that all the people we meet in our lives will touch us in a different way and inspire different feelings within us. That’s how I feel about these boys.

“I’m a mess,” I finally admit to Bryan. “I don’t want to go home. Not tonight.”

Bryan glances across to the twins then bends to kiss me quickly on the mouth.

“We’ll sort it out, baby. Don’t worry.”

Bryan leads me to his truck and the twins follow behind. He settles me in the back seat and closes the door. I hear him conferring with his brothers and watch as the twins nod at whatever he’s saying. They all get in, Jason and Bryan in the front and Austin next to me. He puts his arm around my shoulders and tugs me against him in a way that feels so right. It’s a brotherly possessive gesture, the kind of fierce caring that I need right now. I snuggle against him, holding onto his shirt and inhaling the fresh pine smell of his clothes.

“I’ve got you,” he says, stroking my hair. I close my eyes as Bryan pulls out of the lot and starts to wherever we’re heading.

The radio station is a good distraction for us all. The DJ is taking calls and we listen as people phone in to tell him funny stories. I don’t open my eyes again until Bryan turns off the engine, and when I do I see we’re at a motel on the outskirts of town. Jason hops out of the car and strides into reception. He comes out holding a room key and waves for us to follow. When I slide out of the car my knees feel weak. I’m totally exhausted and on the sleepy end of drunk. Bryan throws his arm around my shoulders and we walk to room number 4, which has a blue door.

Two huge beds dominate the space, with a small sitting area by the window. Jason is the first to flop down on the grey sofa and reach for the remote. Austin follows, grabbing some water from the mini fridge. I stand by the door not really knowing what to do.

“Why don’t you freshen up?” Bryan suggests, probably seeing my discomfort.

I nod and shut myself in the bathroom, sitting on the closed toilet and holding my head in my hands. I need to sleep. I want to lie down on one of those amazing looking beds, close my eyes and wake up a few days into the future so that I don’t have to go through my appointment tomorrow. I want to wake up the carefree Katelin I was a few months ago, when I was still hoping that Bryan would see me, and my biggest worry was how many shots to order at the bar.

I start the shower and step out of my clothes, reaching for a fluffy white towel. I wash myself quickly using the little bottles of free product, then pat myself dry and pull my top and yoga pants back on. I hand wash my panties and hang them to dry. I don’t want to be gross tomorrow.

When I step back into the room, three sets of identical eyes turn to me, all looking equally concerned.

“I’m okay,” I say. “Just tired. I’m gonna sleep.”

“Sure,” Jason says.

“Nathan called. Carrie’s come around and she’s doing fine,” Bryan says. My hand flies to my mouth with relief. I was so hopeful after I left the hospital, but to know she’s on the mend for sure is the best news. “I’ll call your mom and tell her you’re okay.”

I nod and tug back the covers on the nearest bed, sliding into its pillowy softness and closing my eyes. I don’t remember anything about the next few hours. When I wake, it’s dark in the room; the only light is a slice of yellow beaming out of the bathroom through an almost closed door. I blink a few times and rub my eyes, trying to clear the dryness. My mouth is dry too but there’s a bottle of water on the nightstand that I reach for as I sit up.

I’m unscrewing the cap when I notice the boys. While I was in dreamland they rearranged the furniture, moving the other bed so it’s pushed directly against mine. Bryan is sleeping next to me, his beautiful face totally relaxed, eyelashes casting dark shadows on his cheeks. He’s facing me, lying curled on his side, as close to me as he could manage without making physical contact. Next to him, Jason and Austin are sleeping too, all still in their clothes but socks and shoes discarded on the floor by the door.

The sounds of their breathing mixes with the distant noise of a television in another room. I watch them all for a while, as a feeling of safety washes over me. These men are here because I needed them. Goodness knows what Doug must be thinking right now, and mom. If they’d worried about me and Bryan hooking up all that time ago, they must be hitting the roof at this current situation. Whatever is going on with our parents, these men care enough to not give a damn. They came to find me and didn’t judge my reckless behavior but instead found a way to make it all okay. I lie back down on the edge of my pillow closest to Bryan and gaze at him. All the nights I’d wanted him to kiss me, to hold me, to tell me that he felt the same way as me. I’ve fallen asleep imagining this moment so many times; waking up next to him and watching him while he dreams, sliding closer until I’m wrapped around him, waking him in the nicest way with my hand around his cock.

I put my hand close to his lips and feel his warm breath against my knuckles. He’s so big, strong and masculine during waking hours, but in sleep I can see what he must have looked like as a little boy.

I slide a little closer until my toes are just an inch away from his calves and our faces are about three inches apart. If he woke now, he’d probably freak to find me watching him like this. I stare at his luscious soft lips that are so amazing to kiss. My own lips practically vibrate to taste him again.

There are moments in life when you feel that things are about to change. Decisions come along that feel huge but easy at the same time. When I lean forward to press my lips against his it feels momentous but also like coming home. He doesn’t wake immediately, but when I lick at the underside of his top lip he moves with me, almost as though it’s instinct. I know when he’s awake because he inhales sharply, then his hand comes around behind my head and he kisses me back hungrily. “Katy,” he whispers, hauling my body against his, leaning over me so he can kiss my jaw, behind my ears, over my cheek bones. I hold his face between my hands and stare at him, wanting to memorize this moment, because I know that what I’m about to say to him could change everything.

“I love you,” I whisper. He blinks slowly as though hearing those words is too much for him to take in.

“I love you too, baby,” he says. “So much that I’ve driven myself mad with holding back.”

I smile and kiss his lips as he threads his fingers through my hair reverently.

To my right, one of the twin’s sighs. It’s such a soft sound but it brings things back into focus for me. This isn’t just about me and Bryan anymore. If we’d come together at the beginning, then things would have been much more straight forward. Now I can’t think about excluding Austin and Jason.

“What about the twins?” I say.

Bryan glances their way. “You want me to wake them up?”

I nod and Bryan reaches over to tap Austin on the shoulder. He’s slow to wake. I don’t know how long they’ve been asleep for. His eyes meet mine across the bed and he smiles.

“Hey,” he says. “You back in the land of the living?”

“Something like that.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“Wake Jason,” Bryan says and Austin rolls to shake his brother back to consciousness. When everyone is finally back in the room, they all look at me expectantly like they’re waiting for me to make some kind of huge declaration. I guess what I want to say is kind of huge, and usually I have no qualms about asking for what I want and going after it, but I’m feeling strangely shy. It’s kind of ridiculous when I’ve already had sex with all of them. If it was just Bryan here I’d be fine, or just the twins, and again I’d be comfortable. It’s the three of them in one room that has me thrown. Maybe it’s the sheer amount of man that I’m taking in. There’s three of them and only one of me.

The Fantastic Four.

I want to laugh as my mind runs away designing comic book versions of us in primary colors. At least if we were the Fantastic Four, I’d be Invisible Woman, and I could disappear if I said something and didn’t get the response I was hoping for. I remember how the twins laughed at me when I said ‘three’s a charm.’ I think we proved that saying to be true, so what the hell are we going to prove with four?

I turn to gaze at each one in turn. Jason with his fierce eyes, Austin with his cheeky grin and Bryan’s serious expression. Each one of them completes me in a different way.

“You know how I feel about you all,” I say, feeling a blush rising up my cheeks. No one says anything. There are no murmurs of agreement or nods. “I don’t know what I would have done without your support these past few days…and, I care about you all so much.”

“We know,” Austin says and grins naughtily.

“How could you possibly resist us?” Jason adds, winking.

“The three musketeers,” Bryan adds and the twins groan.

“What?” he says, rubbing his hot palm down my arm and taking hold of my hand. “They were experts with their swords.”

The twins snort at Bryan’s lame attempt at humor and I feel such a huge bubble of happiness well inside me that it obliterates the worry I’d been feeling earlier.

“Who told you that you were excellent with your sword?” I ask Bryan.

The twin’s make ‘ooo’ noises as if I cussed him out.

“I didn’t hear you complaining earlier,” he tosses back.

“Finally,” Austin says. “I can’t believe how long it took you both to get around to it.”

I huff. “Well, he kept me waiting long enough.”

“I kept myself waiting.” Bryan shrugs.

“I always said I was the most intelligent brother,” Austin says.

Jason thumps Austin on the arm. “And the one with the biggest head.”

We all laugh a little more, then the room goes silent. I reach up and touch Bryan’s cheek gently. “You were worth the wait,” I tell him, because he needs to know I’m past the angry feelings now.

He leans down and kisses me tenderly. I feel the bed shift as Austin and Jason move closer. The thought that they’re there watching us sends a rush of heat between my legs. I remember how it felt that first night, when the twins began to touch me at the same time. As Bryan kisses me, someone else takes hold of my hand and kisses it; Austin probably. Always the chivalrous one. Bryan pulls back and kneels between my legs, looking at his brothers who flank him.

“How do you do this?” he asks.

“We usually ask what the lady wants,” Austin grins.

“Then we give it to her,” Jason growls.

“But there’s only one of her.”

“She can take it.” Jason leans in to kiss my mouth. He’s not gentle, but searching and controlling, gripping my chin in his big hand and angling my face to get deeper. I get lost in the slide of his tongue and the feel of someone else’s hands that are stroking up my thighs. When Jason pulls back, I look to Bryan whose eyes are fierce with longing.

“Take off her top,” he says to Jason. He helps me sit up and I raise my arms so he can remove the soft cotton.

“Lie back,” Bryan orders and as soon as I do he begins to tug down my yoga pants. When they realize I’m not wearing any panties, there’s a crescendo of groans. Austin moves closer to my side so he is level with Jason and they both take hold of a knee each, easing my legs apart until my pussy is spread wide and on display to Bryan.

We may have fucked, but he hasn’t seen me like this, so bare and vulnerable. His eyes are laser-focused between my legs and his tongue darts out to lick his lips. “So pretty,” he says, stroking his finger down my labia and then dipping just inside where I know I’m wet. It tickles in the most arousing way, and I know he’s trying to tease.

“Taste her,” Jason says gruffly.

Bryan leans in, pressing a soft kiss to my clit and then using his tongue to trace the path his fingertip had taken. His mouth is so hot, his breath gusting onto my most sensitive place. I writhe as he licks up towards my clit, circling it with the point of his tongue. At the same time, Jason latches his mouth onto the nipple nearest him and suckles hard, sending a strange connecting current of arousal through me until I feel like I can’t take it anymore. Once again Austin avoids the other breast but focuses on stoking my skin gently. I try not to think about the reason why because I don’t want to distract from what a momentous time this is for all of us.

“She’s getting close,” Austin warns and Bryan pulls back.

“I can smell how close she is.” Bryan pushes a finger inside me slowly, holding my gaze the whole time. “I love being inside here,” he says. “You’re so tight and warm.”

Austin shifts until he’s closer to Bryan and slips his finger inside me, next to his brother’s. I groan at the stretching feeling and the unfamiliar sensation of two digits moving in and out at different times. I close my eyes and get lost as I feel another finger probing to get inside me. Oh god. I’m so stuffed. So open. The slick sound of my arousal fills the room and for a moment I’m embarrassed, but that all dies away when I look down at their faces. Austin, Bryan and Jason are all staring between my legs as though they’re witnessing the very birth of the universe. Jason’s lips are parted. Bryan clenches his jaw with concentration. Austin reaches up to stroke my belly, and uses his thumb to graze my clit.

That’s all it takes to push me over the edge. The swell of pleasure is so great that I have to clamp my legs together to fully experience it. They keep their hands clutched between my vice-like thighs, moving slowly to prolong the orgasm that feels as though it might never end.

After, when I become aware of my surroundings again, I feel them pulling their hands from inside me. There’s some shuffling as clothes are shed and condoms are retrieved, then Jason’s kneeling between my legs.

“Jase,” I say as he positions himself above me.

“Yeah, baby.” He kisses my lips, letting his big dick rest on my stomach.

“I need you,” I say, stroking over his smooth muscular back, squeezing his shoulders and his biceps greedily.

“You’ve got me.” He takes his cock in one hand and probes through my wetness. When he pushes inside me there’s a familiar sting that is over once he settles deep.

He takes my hands in his and holds them by my head, gripping tightly as he stares into my eyes. There is so much in his expression; lust, passion, reverence. I think about all the ways he’s cared for me and I want to cry. He doesn’t know how much any of this has meant to me. Not really. I may seem strong and capable on the outside but inside I’m so scared that I’ll never be enough. In the short time I have known him, he’s managed to make me feel secure.

“I’m gonna make you feel so good,” he says.

“I know you will, baby.”

For a moment I forget that anyone else is in the room. Jase becomes my world; the feel of him, the taste of him. Then I feel hands caressing my legs. Jason thrusts, grinding hard against my clit, using the full length of his cock to create the maximum pleasure. Combined with the caresses of Austin and Bryan I feel like I might float away.

“She looks so fucking sexy,” Austin says.

“Yeah,” Bryan agrees. “She’s beautiful.”

“She feels like heaven,” Jason says, panting as he drives into me.

Bryan and Austin take hold of my legs, forcing them back and open, changing the angle so that everything feels in sharper relief. I cry out as I feel Jason starting to tremble.

“You gonna come with me?” Jason asks.

“I don’t think I can,” I pant. Everything he’s doing to me feels amazing, but my clit is so sensitive that it’s just not building the right feelings.

“Let her ride you,” Austin suggests.

Jason looks at me for agreement and I nod. It’s the way I managed to come on him in the pool house den and that was through our clothes. He pulls out, sitting up between my legs, fisting his slick cock. Flanked by his two brothers, it looks like I’ve dropped into the middle of a porn movie. Bryan and Austin take hold of my arms and help me sit. I’m expecting them to get me to straddle Jason, but instead they encourage me to turn. It should feel awkward to be positioned and manhandled, but it isn’t. Knowing that Jason’s brothers are getting me ready for him turns me on so much. With my back to him, Jason pulls me onto his lap. Austin gets me to rest on my feet, rather than my knees in a reverse cowgirl position. Bryan helps me raise up enough to site Jason’s cock in the right place, then I’m sinking down onto him. With my legs open like this I can watch him stretching me open. The visual is fucking mind-blowing, forget the physical sensations. Jason holds me at the waist and helps me move up and down. Bryan strokes his cock, watching my pussy get speared over and over by Jason’s huge dick.

Austin gets between my legs, sucks on his thumb and presses it over my clit. With so much attention being lavished on me, I know it isn’t going to take long for me to come. The thing is, I want to see and feel them come too. “I’m close,” Jason says again and I can feel the swell of his cock as it gets ready to release.

“Come on, dirty girl,” Austin says, rubbing harder. “You gonna let me see that pretty pussy squirt again?”

I moan because it turns me on so much to hear him sex-talk. Jason speeds up, chasing towards his orgasm and the extra deep pounding sets me off. I make a noise that doesn’t even sound human, throwing my head back as I clench so tightly that Jason cries out.

“That’s it,” Austin says with a satisfied grin on his face. He’s had no stimulation from me at all yet and he still looks like the cat that got the cream. I guess he did in a way. When I look down at his hand that is still caressing my clit, it’s covered in clear fluid that must be mine.

Jason moves behind me, helping me to kneel so he can withdraw his cock. He strokes the swell of my hips and over the cheeks of my ass with hands that are slick with our sweat. Our combined breathing is so loud I want to laugh. Then Jason does, swatting me affectionately on my butt.

“Fuck me,” he says. “I think I just broke my brain.”

“Me too.” I’m on all fours, still trying to recover when Austin sheathes his cock and uses the lubrication on his hand to make the condom nice and wet. He’s behind me before I know what’s happening, gripping my hips and pushing his way inside me. I’m so swollen that it takes him a while to get all the way in, but when he does it’s bliss.

He takes hold of my hair and tugs, forcing me to arch my back and raise my head, using it as leverage to increase the impact of his thrusts. I love the control, the domination, the sheer fucking size of him. His thighs hit the back of mine making such a loud slapping sound that it seems to echo.

“That’s it, baby,” he says.

I look to the side and see Jason, lying on this back, watching everything. His cock is already half hard again, lolling against his big thigh like a baton.

Bryan is still stroking himself, his eyes hooded and dark. From his earlier question, I’m guessing this is his first group sex experience. He seems to be enjoying himself. From the bottom of my heart I hope he is.

Austin doesn’t let up. I feel sweat dripping off him onto the small of my back and our legs become slippery. He lets go of my hair and I flop forward onto my forearms, raising my ass in the air.

“That’s it,” he says. “Fuck.”

He must love the new angle because he speeds up until I feel myself getting shunted forward. “Oh, oh, oh,” I say, punctuating every pump of his cock with a gasp. It feels so good and dirty, getting pounded so hard while I’m being watched. And knowing that Bryan hasn’t come yet makes it even hotter. When Austin comes I know I’m going to get more. No waiting for anyone to get hard again. With three men, there’s always someone ready.

“You’re so fucking amazing,” Austin says, curling over me and putting an arm around my middle. He’s hot and strong and I feel totally surrounded in the best possible way.

“Don’t let her come,” Bryan says.

I feel Austin pause for a beat, then he pumps himself a few more times and pulls out. I hear the condom being stripped away and turn around so I can see what he’s doing. And what a sight he is.

Gorgeous Austin, huge cock in hand, eyes half-crazy with lust. Then he looks me dead in the eye and comes all over my belly, easing his hand up and down until he’s done. He laughs when it’s over, looking totally wrecked with exertion. I laugh too, because damn!

“You got plans for our girl?” Austin asks Bryan.

“Oh yeah,” he says.

Austin slips off the end of the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He cleans me up while Bryan waits, his eyes on me like an animal sizing up its next meal. I’m feeling a little sore now. My hips have an ache in them, and between my legs I know I’m probably red. They’re so big that even though I’m turned on and wet, the sensitive skin there is taking a battering. Bryan climbs up onto the bed and parts my legs, looking down at my pussy. He frowns slightly and then gazes up at me.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says. I push myself so I’m sitting up, close enough to touch his face.

“I know, baby. I want you, okay? This is important to me…that we’re all together now.”

Bryan leans down and kisses my lips softly, then he lays me back, rising up over me and positioning his cock at my entrance. He moves so slowly, nudging the wide head against my ravaged lips. I’m wet, though, so it doesn’t take too long for him to push inside. He doesn’t hurry; just keeps rolling his hips gently, taking each new centimeter with unhurried precision.

“You feel so good,” he says, bending down to kiss me.

Austin takes hold of one of my hands and Jason the other.

As Bryan makes love to me, they caress me; a reminder that this isn’t just about the two of us. It’s about the four of us, now. Every thrust feels more intense, every touch a sharp reminder of this connection we are building.

I look into Bryan’s eyes and see a look of total wonder. It’s as though he’s shed all the concerns he had about us being together. There’s a lightness in his eyes that fills me with joy.

“I love you,” he says, kissing my mouth gently. I feel his words run through my veins, spreading warmth and pleasure like I’ve never experienced.

When Bryan comes I come too, crying out a garbled mix of all their names, wanting them to know that in my moment of greatest pleasure, that all three of them are there with me.

We don’t talk much afterwards. The boys fall asleep in record time, lying around me like a triangle of protection. It doesn’t take long for me to join them, knowing that whatever happens tomorrow, that I’ll be in their care.