Bound By Love: Chapter 22

ARIA

It was already late in the morning. I hadn’t slept most of the night because I’d felt sick but also too exhausted to get out of bed. Turning around, my eyes found the empty space beside me in bed. My fingers traced the soft fabric. I still fell asleep on my side of the bed and always woke half on Luca’s empty one, as if my body tried to seek him out at night. Eight weeks of lonely nights.

I put on the loose silk bathrobe that hid my bump and made my way out of the bedroom with bare feet. The house was quiet, but distantly I heard the rumble of deep voices.

I was surprised to find Luca and Matteo still at the breakfast table. Their plates were covered in crumbs, but they were done eating and caught in an argument from the look of it. Another plate was also covered in crumbs, but Gianna had already made her exit. She and Luca in a room, that didn’t last long. She was probably in the gym. Lily and Romero had left for New York yesterday morning.

Both men looked up at me. I didn’t say anything, didn’t meet either of their gazes. I was too tired to deal with my feelings. Swallowing my nausea, I reached for the thermos with fruit tea that Marianna always prepared for me, and put it in a cup. I drank a sip of the hot fruit tea, not sitting down. I couldn’t stomach anything else in the morning right now, and I didn’t want to risk sitting down lest I had to run to the bathroom.

Luca was watching me, his eyes lingering on my cheekbones, then my collarbones. I knew he could see my bones protruding sharply. The bathrobe couldn’t hide every part of me. I’d lost even more weight in the last two weeks. I was starting to get worried about the baby, but I just couldn’t keep food inside. I took another sip of the tea, one hand clutching the edge of the table to steady myself. Mornings were always the worst.

“You should sit down,” Matteo suggested, and his voice made me look up because it held worry.

Luca rose from his chair, took the basket with Danishes and held it out toward me. He wasn’t close, never close anymore. “Marianna got your favorite almond biscotti. You need to eat.”

His gray eyes were softer than I’d seen them in a long time, but I had given up hoping.

I stared down at the baked goods and felt my stomach turning over. I looked back up. His eyes were desperate. “Aria, please,” he added. He almost never said “please,” especially not in front of others, not even Matteo. A violent wave of sickness gripped me. I shook my head, fighting the nausea.

“I can’t,” I got out, then turned around and walked slowly back upstairs. Running would have made me throw up. I was glad that Luca didn’t follow me anymore. It made this easier.

I threw up what little I still had in my stomach, then I brushed my teeth in a daze and washed myself with a cloth. Dizzy like this I couldn’t risk going into the shower.

I walked back into the bedroom and undressed, then turned around to face the floor-length mirror.

“What are you doing to me?” I whispered affectionately. Fourteen weeks. I cupped my bump. Naked like this, there was no mistaking that I was pregnant. I turned, facing the mirror sideways. A baby. I stroked my bump lightly, wishing it was Luca’s hands, needing his touch and love so much it hurt.

The door to the bedroom opened. “Aria.” It was Luca.

I whirled around, away from the mirror, and rushed toward the clothes stand where I’d left my bathrobe. I ripped it off and made the whole thing topple over. I flinched as it hit the ground before my feet, then quickly clutched the bathrobe to my naked front.

Luca stood frozen in the room, his eyes moving from the clothes rack to me clutching the bathrobe like it was my salvation.

Regret flickered on his face, but I didn’t dare hope. “Aria, are you scared of me?” he asked quietly.

Was I? I regarded Luca. I had been occasionally in the days after he’d thought I’d cheated, but not anymore. He hadn’t hurt me when he’d thought I’d betrayed him in the worst way possible. He would never hurt me.

“No,” I said with conviction.

He moved toward me, movements slow and careful as not to startle me as he picked up the rack and straightened it. He looked into my eyes and the emotion in his tugged at my heartstrings. “I don’t care about pain. I can deal with torture. But when I saw you with Dante, and thought that you…” He trailed off, face twisting with agony. “I wanted to kill you, and I wanted to kill myself because I knew I was too weak to do it.”

What a logic.

“I’m sorry I made you think you couldn’t trust me. But Luca, I love you. I would never let another man touch me, never betray you like that. Never.”

“I know,” he said quietly. He still didn’t bridge the remaining distance between us. Perhaps because I was still shielding myself with the bathrobe as if I was scared of what he’d do with my nakedness.

“You still love me?” he asked, his expression unguarded. He wasn’t Capo in that moment; he was my husband, the man I loved and who loved me in turn.

“Of course,” I said. I didn’t think I could stop loving him. “And you? Do you love me?”

He laughed, a dark, raw sound. And he took a step closer, but then stopped himself. “I love you too much. It’s fucking painful. It’s killing me every second I’m not with you, every second of having to pretend that I don’t love you. I hate to see you being sick because of me.”

“I’m not sick,” I protested.

He gestured at my collarbones. “You have lost so much weight, Aria. I’m not blind.”

I shrugged. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Forgive me,” he got out. My eyes widened. He had never said those words before. A Capo doesn’t ask for forgiveness, nor grant it. That was one of his father’s lessons he had taken to heart.

His eyes weren’t cold or hard or wary. He let me in. He was back. My Luca was back. I started crying. And he bridged the remaining distance. “Aria?”

I peered up at him, at the pained look. “Of course, I forgive you, if you forgive me too.”

“How could I not forgive you?” He cupped my cheeks. “I love you.” He bent down and kissed me softly. I had been drowning and he was my air. He was my life, my love, my everything. His kiss was sweet. No possessiveness, only love. I parted my lips and his tongue tasted me. I’d missed this. I’d missed him.

I dropped the bathrobe and pressed my hands against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. His hands trailed down from my cheeks to my shoulders, then down my back and to my ribs. So close to my bump. He pulled away.

“Your ribs,” he said quietly. “Aria, you need to eat. I won’t let you starve yourself. Let me help you.”

I smiled up at him. “There’s nothing you can do, Luca.”

He got it wrong. His face twisted with raw fear. “Are you really sick?”

“God, no,” I said quickly. I took a step back but he only looked into my face, uncomprehending, and not at the small bump. I grabbed his hand and put his palm on my belly.

The look on his face was priceless. Utter shock. Disbelief. His eyes shot down to his hand on my bump. It wasn’t big yet and looked even smaller compared to his strong hand, but it was unmistakable.

“What?” he asked, his voice breaking.

“I’m pregnant with our baby, Luca.”

Slowly his eyes rose back to mine. He didn’t say anything.

Uncertainty filled me. “I’m sorry. I forgot to take the pill when everything was a mess because of Lily’s wedding to Brasci. I know you didn’t want to bring a baby into this world. That’s why I hadn’t told you yet. And that was the reason why Dante let me leave Chicago unscathed. I was pregnant then, and I told him. I’m sorry, Luca.”

With a low sound in his throat, he knelt down, startling me, his hand still on my belly. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss against my stomach, then rested his forehead against my naked skin, breathing harshly.

I exhaled in a shudder, and of course began crying again.

He raised his gaze to mine. “Oh, Aria. I will burn down the world for you and our child. I wish I’d apologized sooner. I wish I hadn’t let you go through this alone.” He got up and kissed me lightly. I deepened the kiss and slid my hands under his shirt and over his six-pack. I needed him, needed his closeness more than I’d ever needed anything.

He returned the kiss then pulled away. “What about the baby?”

“It’s okay. We can have sex. I talked to the gynecologist.” Then I hesitated. “Or don’t you find me attractive with a bump?”

Luca laughed. “You are the sexiest and most beautiful woman in the world, Aria, bump or not.” He lifted me into his arms and carried me over to the bed.

Luca put me down on the mattress and let his eyes take in the sight of me. “Oh fuck. You are so gorgeous, Aria.”

His fingers brushed across my trimmed curls but then he paused, expression uncertain, as if he was asking for permission. I parted my legs for him. He didn’t take his eyes off me as he slipped his fingers between my folds and stroked me expertly, knowing every touch and flick I enjoyed. My breathing turned ragged as I watched that strong, powerful man, my man, kneeling between my legs, his hands giving me pleasure.

He heaved a breath, expression darkening with desire as he lowered his head between my legs and my center tightened in anticipation. I gasped when I felt his tongue slide along my flesh. I was already so ready for him. It had been too long since I’d been with him. “Luca, I want you inside me.”

But he didn’t let himself be deterred and settled completely between my legs, his eyes on my face as his lips closed over my clit and he suckled. I cried out as my orgasm hit me, unexpected and forcefully. It had been too long, too long without his touch.

Luca groaned against my center, and the vibration made my eyes roll back, but he didn’t stop his gentle assault. I relaxed under his tongue and mouth, let him guide me toward sweet oblivion as a new wave of pleasure raced through me. After my second release, I could take no more. “Luca, please, I need you.”

Luca trailed kisses up my body, over my hip, my stomach, ribs before he lingered on my breasts, which had grown. He smirked and I let out a small laugh, which brought his attention back to my face and smile. “I missed this.”

“Sex?” I asked, feeling hot and wet and desperate for more.

“Your smile,” he murmured before he lowered his head to my breasts and began lavishing them with kisses. His mouth closed around my nipple and I moaned, feeling another release approaching. He nibbled and sucked for a while, his gray eyes on my face as I squirmed and moaned. “Luca, please.”

He straightened and tugged his shirt over his head, revealing the muscled torso I always wanted to run my hands over, but he didn’t take his eyes off me. His hands moved to his pants, which did nothing to hide the bulge beneath them, and pulled them and his briefs down. He needed this as much as I did. I shivered in anticipation as he climbed back on the bed and up my body as I opened my legs wider for him.

He supported his weight on his elbows as he lowered his mouth for another kiss. Reaching between us, he lined himself up, his tip pressed up against me. I bucked my hips so he slipped in a couple of inches and we both moaned at the sensation.

He slowly eased into me until he was almost all the way in, but I could tell he was holding back. I peered into his eyes and gripped his firm backside. “I want all of you inside me.”

The tendons in his throat flexed, his expression reflecting his turmoil. “I don’t want to hurt you or the baby.”

“Luca,” I said, tightening my hold on his ass. “You can’t. Trust me, as long as you don’t turn all out-of-control rough with me again.”

As if he remembered that day, his lips twisted with self-hatred, but I didn’t let him. I reached for the back of his head and pulled him down for a kiss, and finally he slid the rest of the way into me and we groaned as one.

“Fuck,” he rasped, pressing his forehead against mine, chest heaving. “I forgot how tight you are, how fucking perfect you feel.”

He retreated a few inches, only to slide into me again. I moaned at the sensation of fullness. His strong body over me, his length inside of me, his eyes burning into me with love and need and hunger. I felt like bursting. He thrust slowly, as if he was savoring every moment, and I could feel myself spiraling out of control, but I didn’t want to let go. I wanted this moment to last forever.

He slammed into me a bit harder, his skin covered in perspiration, his mouth set tight as he fought for control. “Aria, it’s been too long. I’m not sure how long I can last,” he said through gritted teeth.

I touched his cheek, holding his gaze.

That he had stayed faithful to me, despite who he was, despite what he’d thought I’d done at first—it meant the world to me. Perhaps it was nothing I should have been thankful for, nothing normal women were grateful for, but I knew what many Made Men did behind their wives’ backs, and they weren’t even Capo. Luca could have a new girl every day if he felt so inclined. He could have more than that.

“I’m close,” I gasped as he angled his thrusts upwards to reach my G-spot and I clutched his shoulders. My toes curled, my fingers twitched against his skin. So close.

Luca tensed and then he came with a violent shudder, and took me with him over the edge. I cried out my release, clinging to his shoulders as he slammed into me a few more times before his forehead collapsed on the pillow, his breathing harsh against my throat. He still kept his weight off me, probably worried he’d crush the baby.

I wanted to relish in this moment forever, in the feel of his warmth and power, listening to his rapid breathing, but my body had a mind of its own, and obviously intended to eject whatever small amount of fruit tea had remained in my stomach. “Luca,” I pressed out, already fighting off the rising sickness.

His head snapped up, brows crinkling with worry. He pushed off me at once and slid off the bed. The moment I was free to move, I scrambled off the bed and rushed toward the bathroom. I barely managed to reach the toilet before I threw up my tea. Shivering and feeling faint, I sank down to my knees.

LUCA

For a moment I wasn’t sure what to do when Aria fled into the bathroom, but then I moved to follow. I heard her throw up, yet when I entered the room, she knelt on the ground, trembling, her fingers lying limply in her lap and her blonde hair curtaining her face. She looked small and vulnerable, and fierce protectiveness flooded me. My eyes lingered on the small bump as I moved toward her and flushed the toilet. Aria carried our baby. How could she ever consider that I didn’t find her attractive with her bump? She was the most beautiful woman on this planet. The love of my life, and I had almost lost her, given her up. I was a fucking fool.

I took a washcloth out of the cupboard and held it under warm water for a couple of minutes before I returned to Aria, crouched beside her and held it out to her. She took the cloth with an embarrassed “thanks,” then wiped her pale face. She didn’t have to be embarrassed; I had seen so much worse in my life than a pregnant woman throwing up. I rubbed her back gently, worry filling me as I felt her spine protruding too sharply. “Principessa, we should let the Doc take a look at you.”

She tilted her head up, perspiration glistening on her forehead. “But he isn’t even a gynecologist, Luca. I doubt he could help.”

Perhaps she was right. The Doc could patch up knife and bullet wounds faster than anyone I knew, but he usually didn’t deliver babies. “Who’s your gynecologist?”

“Dr. Max Brightley,” she said, and possessiveness reared its ugly head. She had a male gynecologist? The idea that any man saw Aria like that drove me up the walls with jealousy.

Soft laughter bubbled out of Aria, her pale cheeks flushing. “Oh Luca, don’t tell me you are jealous of my doctor?”

“You know I’m a possessive bastard. Why does that still surprise you?”

She shook her head. “Can you help me stand?”

I straightened and lifted her to her feet, supporting her weight. She swayed lightly. “We’re going to that Dr. Max now. I want to have a word with him.”

“Luca,” Aria chided. “I won’t go if it’s only so you can intimidate my doctor.”

“Not only to intimidate. I also want to know why he isn’t capable of stopping you from losing weight.”

“Some things can’t be changed, Luca. Pregnancy isn’t something you can influence. You have to trust in my body.”

I trusted Aria, and I loved her body, but it was obvious that she needed help. I was used to finding a solution to problems, and if I wasn’t able to find a solution myself, I forced people to find one for me—and I was going to make Dr. Brightley see what kind of man he was messing with.

“I need a shower but I’m worried I’ll faint,” Aria said. I led her toward the shower, then turned on the water and waited until it turned warm before I gently led Aria inside and took the shampoo. I squirted a small amount on my palm, but Aria shook her head. “That’s not enough.”

“That’s double of what I’m using,” I said.

Her eyes darted up to my short hair. “If I had short hair like yours, I’d need less shampoo as well.”

“No,” I said with more force than intended.

She rolled her eyes but I could tell that she still didn’t feel well. I doubled the shampoo amount and began massaging it into Aria’s hair. I loved her blonde strands, but cleaning them was a hell of a bother. In the time it took to get every trace of shampoo out, I would have been dressed and on my way to the doctor, but I enjoyed touching her like that. Aria closed her eyes as the warm water streamed down her face, and again my eyes slid lower to the proof of her pregnancy. “How far along are you?”

“Fourteen weeks,” Aria murmured as she glanced up at me. I turned off the water and grabbed a towel. A pregnancy took nine months; that was pretty much all I knew. I wrapped her in it then lifted her out of the shower, careful not to hit her head on the glass.

“I can still walk,” she said with a smile, but I carried her back into the bedroom and set her down on the bench in front of our bed. I took my time drying her, enjoying the feel of her soft skin as my fingertips brushed over it. To think that I had denied myself this for so long.

“Do you know what it is?” I asked, trying to keep my voice relaxed even if the thought that Aria had found out without me at her side felt like a stab to the heart.

“No,” she said softly, raking her fingers through my wet hair. “It’s probably still too soon and I didn’t want to know. I’d hoped we could find out together.” Her voice broke, and I pressed my forehead against her bare thigh. She smelled faintly of vanilla and Aria’s very own clean sweetness.

“We will. I will be there for you every step of the way from now on, I swear.”

I felt Aria nod and when I looked up, she was crying again. “Aria,” I said in a pained voice. “Why are you crying again?”

I hated to see her tears. They made me feel like a monster because I knew I was the reason.

“I’m being emotional because of the hormones, Luca, that’s all.” She tried a smile but it came off shaky. “The due date is in July.”

Five and a half months to go. Suddenly, images of my own father popped up, uninvited and unpleasant. I had few good memories of the man. Matteo and I had definitely never loved him. He hadn’t been what anyone would consider a good father, not even in our world. How was I supposed to be a father to our child? Aria, she was a natural caretaker, but I was a destroyer, a killer.

Those thoughts tormented me as I helped Aria get dressed. She chanced the occasional glance at me, obviously picking up on my mood. Insecurity filled her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Don’t worry about me, principessa,” I told her, linking our fingers.

She gave a hesitant nod. “You don’t look happy.”

“I’m happy that you are pregnant, Aria, trust me,” I said firmly. I raised our linked hands and kissed her palm. “How could I not be happy about a small version of you?”

Her expression relaxed. “It could be a boy, then it would be a small version of you.”

My stomach tightened. I knew Made Men, especially a Capo, were supposed to produce an heir, but I didn’t want a son. With a son the chances that I’d act like my father to make the boy strong were too great. I didn’t want to become like him. Again Aria picked up on my hesitation, and frowned at me. Fuck. She knew me too well.

“You want a girl?” she asked in surprise.

“Yes,” I said without hesitation. There was no sense in pretending I didn’t care about the gender.

She searched my face as if the answers to her questions were hidden there. “Are you worried you won’t be able to love a son like a daughter?”

“I’ll love our child no matter the gender because it’s your flesh and blood, Aria. But with a boy, I’d need to think of his future.” I didn’t say more, didn’t want to elaborate. There was no use in discussing this when we didn’t even know if it was a boy.

“We should head out now,” I said, tugging her along. My grip on her tightened when she swayed again, and I pulled her against me as I led her out of our bedroom and downstairs. The first floor was deserted. Matteo had probably gone in search of Gianna.

“Does Gianna know about your pregnancy?” I asked as I led Aria toward my new black Mercedes G-Class parked in the driveway. I’d bought it to distract myself. Of course it hadn’t worked.

“She and Lily…” She trailed off, biting her lip.

“And Romero,” I finished.

Worry filled her face. “I needed to involve him so he could guard me when I went to the gynecologist. I knew you would have hated it if I’d gone there without protection, and I couldn’t ask Sandro. He would have told you right away.”

I nodded as I held the door open for her. I’d have to have a talk with Romero anyway. She slipped in, but not without another worried look. “Don’t be mad at him. He helped me a lot. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”

I stifled my anger. It wasn’t directed at Aria, not even at Romero. She shouldn’t have been forced to rely on Romero in the first place. I closed the door, walked around the hood and climbed behind the steering wheel.

Aria fell asleep during the drive back to New York and I let her. She looked exhausted. With her shirtdress, her bump wasn’t noticeable, and yet my eyes kept returning to the spot.

After I’d parked the car in a loading zone, I woke Aria. She sat up, startled. Her eyes took in our surroundings. “Are we already in Manhattan?”

“You slept through the ride,” I told her.

“Sorry.” She peered out of the window. “Are you sure we won’t get towed?”

“Yes,” I said. I got out, catching the eye of the restaurant owner whose loading zone I was barring. He recognized me. He paid us for protection.

I helped Aria out of the car and took her hand. She stiffened her spine, holding her head high. This was the public. Aria knew what was expected of both of us. We could always be followed by paparazzi. Usually my contacts checked in with me before photos got published, but I preferred not to have compromising photos in the first place. The Dante/Aria fiasco had been bad enough, and still made my blood boil.

“I hope Dr. Brightley has time for us,” Aria said as I followed her toward a building with several doctors for all kind of medical problems. That way at least people wouldn’t suspect Aria was pregnant. I didn’t want word to get out so soon, and if possible never. We were at war and children were too vulnerable. It was bad enough that Dante knew about the pregnancy, but I needed to keep it a secret from our other enemies, and that meant we would have to make sure there was never a press photo of Aria pregnant or with our child. I’d move heaven and earth to guarantee their safety.

When we stepped into the reception area of the practice, the eyes of the receptionist snapped toward us, widening when she took me in. Of course she knew me. I darted a look toward the closed door of the waiting room to our right. I wasn’t keen on other patients seeing us here and spreading rumors. We stepped toward the reception.

“Mrs. Vitiello, we didn’t expect you today,” the receptionist piped up.

“I reckon that won’t be a problem,” I said with a closed-lipped smile that always had the same effect on people. Aria’s cheeks turned red.

The receptionist blinked up at me, then quickly looked away, paling. “Uhh, of course. I’ll just have to check with Dr. Brightley first. We have quite a few patients in the waiting room. Perhaps you can sit down until I call you.”

“No,” I said. “You certainly understand that I don’t want to draw attention to my wife and me. I trust you’ll honor our wish for secrecy.” The smile got wider but my eyes narrowed.

She nodded and waved at another woman who was dressed in a bluish nurse’s uniform. “Can you please take Mr. and Mrs. Vitiello to a treatment room?”

After one glance at me, the nurse scurried off and opened a door for us. We stepped through and she closed the door behind us, giving us privacy. Aria turned to me with an exasperated expression. “Luca, did you have to be so…” She waved a hand in my direction as if that said it all.

“So?” I echoed.

“So dominant,” she finished before she sank down on one of the two chairs in front of a white desk. The other furniture in the room was the chair that no man ever wanted to see close up with its strange metallic leg holders, and a pallet with an ultrasound machine beside it.

I cocked an eyebrow.

Aria shook her head. “Never mind.”

I moved to her side but didn’t sit down. My surroundings made me prefer to stand.

“Luca,” she began. “Dr. Brightley is very upfront. I don’t want you to take it the wrong way and act all Capo.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply because the door opened and a tall figure stepped in, a woman with short brown hair and glasses. Dr. Brightley, her name tag read. I sent Aria a look, and she smiled innocently. The doctor approached me without hesitation or initial shock. Her receptionists must have warned her. I accepted her outstretched hand, surprised by her firm grip. If she’d been a man, I would have answered with my own version of a strong grip. “I’m Dr. Brightley, and you must be the elusive father, Mr. Vitiello.” Her words were clipped, her smile disapproving.

I gave her a tight smile. “You must be the doctor incapable of helping my wife,” I said in a deadly voice.

Aria rose from her chair and stepped up to us to shake Dr. Brightley’s hand. “What he means is that I still can’t keep any food in me.”

Dr. Brightley frowned, her eyes checking Aria from head to toe. “Have you lost weight since the last time we saw each other?”

Aria nodded. “Not much.”

“You are underweight, Mrs. Vitiello,” she said with a sigh before she leveled her gaze on me. “Sadly, my options are limited. I could give your wife an infusion to improve her nutrient supply but apart from that, there’s little I can do.” She turned back to Aria. “Your sickness could be related to emotional stress, have you considered that?”

Aria blanched, and I tensed. Had Aria talked to the doctor about our personal problems? Her eyes met mine and she gave a small shake of her head to tell me she hadn’t. The doctor must have based her assumption on me missing the previous appointments. Regret left a bitter taste in my mouth. I met the doctor’s gaze, my face a mask of calm. It wasn’t her business what went on behind closed doors.

“I don’t think it’s that,” Aria said quietly but firmly. She took my hand and I squeezed lightly in return. “We wanted to find out the sex of our baby today, if possible?”

Dr. Brightley nodded. “Please unbutton your dress and lie down on the bench. I can’t promise you anything since it’s still early.”

When the doctor began the ultrasound, I felt fucking nervous. I held Aria’s hand but my eyes were focused on the ultrasound screen. I didn’t see much at first, only unidentifiable shapes in gray and black which shifted constantly, but then suddenly a face became distinguishable. A perfect little face. Nose, ears, lips. Next the doctor showed us the hands, ten tiny fingers, and feet. I couldn’t believe a fully formed human, our child, was inside Aria. The doctor zoomed in on the area between the child’s legs and smiled. “I can’t be entirely sure until later in the pregnancy, but it looks like a girl.”

I almost sagged with relief. A girl. A little version of Aria. Not a boy who would harbor my darkness, a darkness I would have to encourage to help him survive in the Famiglia.

Aria squeezed my hand and I turned to her. She smiled. I gave her a small nod, feeling the eyes of the doctor on me. “It would be good if your wife got as much relaxation as possible. The baby is still growing but if she keeps losing weight, we might have to admit her to the hospital to be safe.”

I gave a terse nod. “She will gain weight, don’t worry.”

We headed to our penthouse after the appointment. Aria was too tired for the hour-long drive back to the Hamptons, and I had a feeling she wanted to return to our apartment. She had spent almost all of her time in the Hamptons over the last few weeks.

I could tell how happy she was to be back as she strode out onto the rooftop and let her gaze glide over the skyline. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, still stunned by her bump. “How about we order sushi and lounge on the couch?”

She gave me a look. “Sushi? Aren’t your forgetting something?” She rested her hand over mine.

I didn’t get it.

She laughed. “Men are so clueless. I’m not allowed to eat raw fish or raw meat, and it’s best not to order anything uncooked in case the restaurant doesn’t wash their products enough.”

“If I told them to wash them, they would, trust me,” I said. If something happened to Aria or our daughter because anyone messed up, I’d show them that monsters walked the Earth.

“I know.” She turned around in my embrace, touching my cheek. “My big bad mobster.”

I choked on a laugh. Aria was the only one who would joke about it. I leaned down, making my voice the deadly whisper I used when people displeased me. “I am bad, and worse, I am Capo.”

Aria shivered but definitely not from fear. She wrapped her arms around my middle and pressed her face against my chest. “God, I missed this.”

I stroked her silky hair then followed her spine down to the soft swell of her ass. She shivered again and moved even closer.

“You need to eat,” I said, even if my cock had other plans. She nodded, but didn’t move. “How about pasta? That can’t be bad for the baby, right?”

“Gnocchi à la Genovese for me,” she said without hesitation. “And perhaps one of those delicious almond cakes. You are ordering at Da Daniele’s?”

I smiled. “Of course.”

Forty minutes later we settled on the couch in the living area with our ordered food, Aria in one of my white shirts, and I in only gray sweatpants and a shirt. I opened the boxes and spooned a small heap of gnocchi on Aria’s plate. “Do you want a bite of my ossobuco?”

She eyed the meat then quickly shook her head. “I don’t think I can eat it.”

I held her plate out to her and she took it and settled back against the couch, her bare legs tugged under her body. She smelled her food hesitantly. Watching her, I dug into my own dish.

Aria picked up the fork and took a bite of her gnocchi, then smiled. “It seems okay.”

I was finished with my main course, the focaccia and the tapenade before Aria had even eaten half of her plate and the box was still half full of gnocchi. Feeling my gaze on her, she glanced up. “You don’t have to watch me. I can eat.” She smiled to soften her words.

“Not enough,” I said. I stroked her knee. “Come on, principessa. Don’t make me force-feed you.”

She sighed. “I’m worried I’ll get sick if I eat too fast.”

“Perhaps you need to stop worrying about it.” I paused. “Was the doctor right? Did you feel sick because of our fight?”

Aria swallowed another bite before she put down the plate on her lap. “I don’t know. Perhaps? You are the most important person in my life. You are the father of our baby girl and I couldn’t confide in you for so long. It hurt, hurt worse than anything ever had.”

“Fuck,” I muttered. Remorse still was a strange sensation, unfamiliar in my body.

“It was my fault, too, Luca. I should have realized how you’d take my going to Chicago without your permission. As you said, I know what kind of man you are.”

“A possessive, controlling asshole?” And that wasn’t even the worst of my character traits, but Aria knew, she knew and loved me despite it all.

“Yes,” she said with a small smile. “And the man I love with all my heart.” She touched the spot over my heart. “Mine.”

“Only yours. Always.”

She brought another bite of gnocchi to her lips and ate it. Her voice became very soft when she spoke again. “Did you ever waver?”

“Waver?”

“Grace. Or other women.”

Her shoulders were tense.

“No,” I said firmly. “All I could think of was your smile.” And it was the fucking truth. I was completely whipped when it came to Aria.

“And you?” I couldn’t keep the growl out of my voice.

Aria actually threw her head back and laughed her bell-like laugh. She took another bite then filled her plate with the rest of her dish. “I wouldn’t even know how to flirt with a man, Luca. You are the only man I can imagine being close to. It’s like your possessiveness flipped a switch in my brain and made me incapable of tolerating any other man’s closeness.”

I smirked, and Aria huffed. She took another bite. I had to stifle a smile. She didn’t even notice how much she was eating.

I reached for the remote control and turned on the stereo. Soft music began playing from the speakers, and then a deep male voice started singing. Aria’s eyes flashed with recognition; it was her favorite album by Rag’n’Bone Man. She beamed, that fucking perfect slow smile taking over her gorgeous face. How had I gone eight weeks without it? Without her?

She put down her plate, regarding me, seriousness banishing her smile. “Promise me we won’t ever fight again for so long. I don’t think I can survive it again.”

I opened my arms and she climbed on my lap, wrapping my neck in a tight embrace. “I promise, and you promise me to never go behind my back again, no matter what it is. You going to Chicago alone, it was suicidal.”

“I know,” she said quietly. “It was because of Fabi. He called me the night you left for New York.”

It was betrayal. If Dante found out, he would have to put Fabi down.

Aria’s voice shook as she continued, “My father is cruel to him. He is beating Fabi, and I’m so worried he will do worse. I wanted to help him. That’s all.”

I got it. Aria couldn’t help herself. But Fabi was an initiate. He would experience, and do worse than a beating. “Did you see him?”

She shook her head. “I failed him.”

“He wouldn’t have come to New York with you. He is loyal to the Outfit.” Aria swallowed hard. I stroked her back, wanting to set her at ease. She had been upset for too long. “Fabi is strong. He won’t have any trouble surviving in the Outfit.”

And if he wasn’t strong enough, I hoped Aria would never find out.

“Can’t there be peace again?” Aria begged me with her eyes, but this was something I couldn’t give her.

“As long as I am Capo, there won’t be peace with Dante Cavallaro.” Not after the fucking photo incident.

“Dante didn’t hurt me. He wouldn’t.”

I grew tense, old anger rekindling, but I shoved it down. “He is Capo, and we are at war. Next time he gets his hands on you, he won’t let you go, trust me. You are the leverage he and the Outfit need against me. He’s under as much fire as me.” I didn’t mention that he’d been the one who was responsible for the photos. It wouldn’t serve any other purpose than to upset Aria further, and in her state she didn’t need any more stress than she’d already suffered.

Worry flickered in her eyes. “Is your family still going against you? Gianna told me you killed one of your uncles on the night you saw the photos of me and Dante.”

“I did, crushed his throat in front of the gathered Underbosses and Captains.” I didn’t mention that I killed Ermano and Angelo as well, and the fucking bikers, and the Outfit fuckers who had come too close to our borders and gotten caught. I’d sent them back to Dante in several packets. I’d killed so many in the past few weeks.

Aria released a slow breath. “And then you saw me with Dante.”

“I lost it, Aria. I fucking lost it.”

She kissed me. “How could you ever think I’d cheat on you with Dante?”

I ran my hand over her smooth calf and Aria’s lashes fluttered. There were shadows under her eyes. I began massaging her calves, feeling her relax under my touch. Then her eyes opened slowly. “Promise me you will never hit our daughter. I know many men in our world think it’s the only way to discipline children.”

“Aria,” I said fiercely. “Many men in our world think a husband should discipline his wife the same way, and I never raised a hand against you and I won’t. And I fucking swear on everything that matters to me in this world that I won’t ever hurt our daughter.”

The bing of her mobile made her jump and she slanted a glance toward the screen, which rested on the table. Gianna, of course.

Aria sighed, then reached for her phone and typed a quick reply before she turned off the sound and returned it to the table.

“What did you tell her?”

“That I’m in New York with you.”

“That’s all? You know she won’t stop bugging us until you tell her every little detail,” I murmured, leaning forward and running my lips over her delicate throat.

“I turned off the sound.”

“As if that’s going to stop her,” I said, and as if on cue my phone began ringing. “Matteo.” I didn’t even have to look at the screen. Gianna had probably ordered him to check on her sister.

Aria shook her head with a soft smile. “She’s worried about me. I gave her a lot of reason to be worried.”

And I was the fucking reason.

My phone didn’t stop ringing.

Aria leaned back to give me a look. “They won’t give up.”

With a groan, I reached for my own phone and took Matteo’s call. “I’m busy,” I muttered.

“Busy in a good way or bad way?” Matteo asked. I could hear Gianna’s high-pitched bickering in the background.

“I’m not sure what you consider a good way,” I said as I motioned for Aria to lie back. She did without hesitation and I began rubbing her calves and feet. Her face softened even more, and my black-as-tar heart softened in turn at the sight.

“Luca,” Matteo said with a hint of strain in his voice. Gianna must have been grating on his nerves the last few weeks. He was even more volatile than usual, but who was I to talk?

“Is Aria with you?”

“Yes,” I said, as I applied pressure on the sole of Aria’s foot with my thumb, eliciting a soft moan from her.

“For fuck’s sake, Luca, just tell me if she’s okay.”

“She is okay, Matteo. She and I, we figured things out.”

“Thank the fucking Lord.” Gianna spoke in the background again. “Let me talk to him,” Matteo said to her, then to me, “When will you come back?”

“Tomorrow, but only to pick up a few things. Aria will stay in New York with me from now on.”

Aria looked at me then, and I could tell she was pleased.

“Okay,” Matteo said slowly.

I hung up, fed up with Gianna’s voice in the background, wishing I could turn off the sound of my mobile as well, but as Capo that was a fucking no go.

“Will you tell Matteo about the pregnancy?” Aria asked, biting her lip.

“Yes, tomorrow. I need his help upping your protection.”

“Up my protection?” Aria asked. I lifted one foot and pressed a kiss to her ankle. “Oh yes,” I murmured.

Aria didn’t protest. She let out a yawn and smiled embarrassedly. “I’m sorry. I haven’t slept well without you.”

“Me neither,” I admitted. I’d lost count of the times I’d woken at night, reached for her and freaked because she hadn’t been there until I remembered why.

I pushed off the sofa and lifted Aria against my chest. Her arms came around my neck and she pressed her cheek against my shoulder, releasing a small sigh.

“We’re going to bed. You need to rest.”

I carried her up the stairs, through our bedroom and into the bathroom, setting her down in front of the wash table. She shook her head. “I’m pregnant, not immobile.”

My eyes moved down to the bump hidden beneath my shirt. I’d stop at nothing to protect Aria and our daughter. She watched me then nodded. “You won’t budge on the matter.”

“I won’t.”

I helped her out of my shirt and she pulled a nightgown over her head, which showed the hint of her belly. The sight made me fucking happy, which surprised me. I’d never really considered having kids. It had been an abstract concept.

As we got ready for bed, I couldn’t stop admiring her. She washed her face and tensed a moment before her fingers clutched the edge. I grabbed her waist at once. “Aria?”

“Dizzy,” she said apologetically. I lifted her up into my arms and carried her over to our bed, where I laid her down and stretched out beside her, pulling her close. She snuggled against my body, fingers clinging tightly to my biceps as if she was afraid I’d leave if she let me go. She kissed my chest before her eyes rose to mine. I cupped her cheek and she gave me that smile that warmed my cold heart every time.

She fell asleep within a couple of minutes of being in my arms, but I lay awake and listened to her rhythmic breathing for a long time, not because I couldn’t fall asleep but because I didn’t want to. The feeling of Aria in my arms was the best. I carefully moved my hand down until it rested over Aria’s stomach. If I were still capable of that kind of thing, maybe this would have been the moment I cried, but the last time that had happened was when I saw my mother in her own blood after she’d slit her wrists, and it wouldn’t happen again. Yet my chest felt tight with emotion.